You know that a science fiction film, like the new Steven Spielberg movie "Minority Report" starring Tom Cruise and Colin Farrell, is in trouble when the background elements are more interesting than the foreground elements. Based on a sci-fi short story by legendary author Philip K. Dick, whose writings have inspired Gary Felder's "Impostor" (2001), Ridley Scott's "Blade Runner" (1982), and Paul Verhoven's "Total Recall" (1990), "Minority Report" (** out of ****) tops the inept "Impostor" but lacks the exciting agility of either "Total Recall" or "Blade Runner." While the 'what if' premise of the Philip K. Dick short story and the script by Scott ("Get Shorty") Frank and newcomer Jon Cohen provokes thought, director Steven Spielberg bungles both premise and promise. Not only does Spielberg wear out his welcome with an exhaustive epic that runs a half-hour too long, but also he botches what could have been the equal of any of his action-packed "Raiders" trilogy or "The Lost World." Quite simply, "Minority Report" degenerates into a shallow, derivative sci-fi saga that bogs down too often in its own pseudo-technical gibberish and never delivers the hallowing hair-raising heroics that it promises.
"Minority Report" unfolds in Washington, D.C., in the year 2054. Over the past six years, nobody has murdered anybody, thanks to a pioneering crime-prevention program called 'Pre-Crime' that can predict a homicide before it happens. Inventors Lamar Burgess (Max Von Sydow of "The Exorcist") and Iris Hineman (Lois Smith of "The Pledge") devised this system that relies on three psychics (one woman and two men) called "Pre-Cogs" buoyed in a wading pool who have visions of future crimes. The Justice Department dispatches Danny Witwer (Colin Farrell of "American Outlaws") to check out the system before they adopt it for nation-wide use. Witwer suspects the system is flawed, no matter what Pre-Crime Chief John Anderton (Tom Cruise of "Vanilla Sky") claims to the contrary. Suddenly, Anderton finds himself in a predicament when the Pre-Cogs say he has murder on his mind. Anderton is supposed to kill somebody that he has never met in the next 36 hours. Predictably, Anderton runs. Not only does he resist arrest, but also he kidnaps one of the Pre-Cogs, former crack-baby Agatha (Samantha Morton), who insists that he would kill and run. Along the way, we learn Anderton lost his son; uses illegal drugs, and is divorced.
Spielberg blows it from the beginning with an action scene that wanders in circles. Things grow worse as the plot thickens, and we learn how the lottery style 'Pre-Crime System' works. At least ten continuity errors crop up, but what is worst is Spielberg never lets the action scenes off the leash. Instead, peripheral elements, such as the Magnetic Levitation traffic system that prevents traffic jams and the 'sick stick' that the cops use to incapacitate wrongdoers by making them instantly vomit, are more interesting than the contrived, drawn- out, convoluted story. Tom Cruise makes a convincingly vulnerable hero, but nothing about "Minority Report" is as convincing or insightful as his performance.
CINEMATIC REVELATIONS allows me the luxury of writing, editing and archiving my film and television reviews. Some reviews appeared initially in "The Commercial Dispatch" and "The Planet Weekly" and then later in the comment archives at the Internet Movie Database. IMDB.COM, however, imposes a limit on both the number of words and the number of times that an author may revise their comments. I hope that anybody who peruses these expanded reviews will find them useful.
Friday, January 2, 2009
FILM REVIEW OF "MR. & MRS. SMITH" (2005)
The new Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie romantic thriller comedy "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" (**1/2 out of ****) blends bits and pieces from the 1994 Arnold Schwarzenegger shoot'em up "True Lies" and the 1989 Michael Douglas & Kathleen Turner domestic black comedy "The War of the Roses" to tell the often amusing but sometimes violent saga about an alienated married couple who try to knock each other off. Director Doug Liman, who helmed "The Bourne Identity," "Swingers," and "Go," doesn't break any new ground with this mindless kiss-kiss/bang-bang potboiler, but he keeps the far-fetched action moving at a moderately fast enough pace that you don't think about the weaknesses in Simon Kinberg's hopelessly outlandish screenplay. Neither the explosive firefight sequences can compare with Liman's earlier spy thriller "The Bourne Identity" nor does the humor rival either of his previous comedies "Swingers" and "Go." Nevertheless, the sexy on-screen chemistry between Pitt and Jolie as well as Vince Vaughn's hilarious scene-stealing antics as a hit-man who lives with his mom make "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" worth watching once, even when everybody isn't trying to blow more holes in each other than a wedge of Swiss cheese. Incidentally, for the record, aside from its title, Liman's "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" shares nothing in common with Alfred Hitchcock's one and only screwball comedy "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" (1941) that toplined Carole Lombard and Robert Montgomery.
"Mr. & Mrs. Smith" opens with Jane (Angelina Jolie of "Alexander") and John Smith (Brad Pitt of "Troy") seated in separate chairs as they answer a variety of questions from an anonymous, off-screen marriage counselor (voice of William Fichtner of "The Longest Yard) about the length of their wedlock, where they met, and how often they have sex. During their martial therapy sessions, Jane and John break the fourth wall. In other words, they address all their responses to us—the audience--as if we were the therapist. You cannot watch these scenes—all action occurs in flashbacks--without thinking about the infamous, off-screen meltdown of Brad Pitt's own marriage to actress Jennifer Aniston. Unless you've lived in a cave for the last year or kept your eyes shut while standing in the check out lanes at Walmart where the tabloids proclaim that Pitt cheated with Jolie, you know what I'm talking about. Director Doug Liman relies on this clever framing gimmick to tell us that neither Jane nor John is happily married. John claims that they have been married for five years, but Jane contradicts him they have been hitched for six years. We learn that our heroes met in Bogotá, Columbia, where they had carried out respective assassinations, then paired up to throw the local constabulary off the scent. The law is out to round up all singles, so our heroes lie and say they are a couple. What difference should it make whether assassins are single or come in pairs is never explained? Furthermore, we learn that they spend more time apart from each other than with each other. Their time together isn't any rosier. They quarrel about the new curtains that Jane has brought for their luxurious home in suburbia. Jane works for a Wall Street firm, while John runs an engineering business with best buddy, wisecracking Eddie (an unshaven Vince Vaughn of "Swingers"). In reality, Jane and John work for different assassination agencies. She stashes her arsenal of automatic weapons and throwing knives in a compartment inside and beneath the oven, while he hides his hardware underneath the garage. Neither has the faintest clue what the other does, because neither intrudes on each other at their respective workplaces. Eventually, the competing agencies that hire them to make hits accidentally double-book a hit. The target escapes their gun sites, because Jane and John wind up shooting at each other. When our protagonists discover that they have been exchanging shots, they start blasting away at each other in what constitutes the most unusual way to remodel their home.
Absurd as it may seem, scenarist Simon Kinberg penned his exercise in weapons-toting, one-upmanship as part of his thesis for his Masters of Fine Arts degree at Columbia University. Naturally, a squad of uncredited scribes rewrote it for the big-screen, but the problem is that neither Liman nor his writers can make up their minds about what kind of movie that they wanted to make. Some of the action gets pretty brutal for the PG-13 rating, while at other times the gunfights resemble kung fu battles with our outnumbered heroes repulsing literally hundreds of expendable SWAT team clad assassins. If you've seen the trailer for "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," you have already caught a glimpse of the best scenes: the interior redecorating scene between Pitt and Jolie; the desert shoot'em up, and the hell-for-leather chase scene. "Mr.& Mrs. Smith" gets off to a slow start as Liman sets up their martial woes, but he never goes very deep into the action itself. Since we know that neither Jane nor John is going to kill each other, suspense takes a back seat. Moreover, we have no villain at which to vent our rage. The one-liners are witty in a James Bond sense. Jane blows up the elevator that she has John trapped in, and he accused her of giving him the shaft. Repeatedly, other characters ridicule their marriage. During the guidance counseling scenes, John describes their life together as " . . . a huge space filled with everything that we don't say to each other . . ." When John asks the therapist what he would call that, the therapist crisply replies: "marriage." "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" lacks any shred of either sentimentality or narrative depth. Guys should enjoy the over-the-top but unbelievable action scenes, while gals will find Jane's efforts to outsmart John in the kitchen, bedroom, and battlefield comical, too. Without the luminous presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" would qualify as just another mediocre matrimonial melodrama.
"Mr. & Mrs. Smith" opens with Jane (Angelina Jolie of "Alexander") and John Smith (Brad Pitt of "Troy") seated in separate chairs as they answer a variety of questions from an anonymous, off-screen marriage counselor (voice of William Fichtner of "The Longest Yard) about the length of their wedlock, where they met, and how often they have sex. During their martial therapy sessions, Jane and John break the fourth wall. In other words, they address all their responses to us—the audience--as if we were the therapist. You cannot watch these scenes—all action occurs in flashbacks--without thinking about the infamous, off-screen meltdown of Brad Pitt's own marriage to actress Jennifer Aniston. Unless you've lived in a cave for the last year or kept your eyes shut while standing in the check out lanes at Walmart where the tabloids proclaim that Pitt cheated with Jolie, you know what I'm talking about. Director Doug Liman relies on this clever framing gimmick to tell us that neither Jane nor John is happily married. John claims that they have been married for five years, but Jane contradicts him they have been hitched for six years. We learn that our heroes met in Bogotá, Columbia, where they had carried out respective assassinations, then paired up to throw the local constabulary off the scent. The law is out to round up all singles, so our heroes lie and say they are a couple. What difference should it make whether assassins are single or come in pairs is never explained? Furthermore, we learn that they spend more time apart from each other than with each other. Their time together isn't any rosier. They quarrel about the new curtains that Jane has brought for their luxurious home in suburbia. Jane works for a Wall Street firm, while John runs an engineering business with best buddy, wisecracking Eddie (an unshaven Vince Vaughn of "Swingers"). In reality, Jane and John work for different assassination agencies. She stashes her arsenal of automatic weapons and throwing knives in a compartment inside and beneath the oven, while he hides his hardware underneath the garage. Neither has the faintest clue what the other does, because neither intrudes on each other at their respective workplaces. Eventually, the competing agencies that hire them to make hits accidentally double-book a hit. The target escapes their gun sites, because Jane and John wind up shooting at each other. When our protagonists discover that they have been exchanging shots, they start blasting away at each other in what constitutes the most unusual way to remodel their home.
Absurd as it may seem, scenarist Simon Kinberg penned his exercise in weapons-toting, one-upmanship as part of his thesis for his Masters of Fine Arts degree at Columbia University. Naturally, a squad of uncredited scribes rewrote it for the big-screen, but the problem is that neither Liman nor his writers can make up their minds about what kind of movie that they wanted to make. Some of the action gets pretty brutal for the PG-13 rating, while at other times the gunfights resemble kung fu battles with our outnumbered heroes repulsing literally hundreds of expendable SWAT team clad assassins. If you've seen the trailer for "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," you have already caught a glimpse of the best scenes: the interior redecorating scene between Pitt and Jolie; the desert shoot'em up, and the hell-for-leather chase scene. "Mr.& Mrs. Smith" gets off to a slow start as Liman sets up their martial woes, but he never goes very deep into the action itself. Since we know that neither Jane nor John is going to kill each other, suspense takes a back seat. Moreover, we have no villain at which to vent our rage. The one-liners are witty in a James Bond sense. Jane blows up the elevator that she has John trapped in, and he accused her of giving him the shaft. Repeatedly, other characters ridicule their marriage. During the guidance counseling scenes, John describes their life together as " . . . a huge space filled with everything that we don't say to each other . . ." When John asks the therapist what he would call that, the therapist crisply replies: "marriage." "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" lacks any shred of either sentimentality or narrative depth. Guys should enjoy the over-the-top but unbelievable action scenes, while gals will find Jane's efforts to outsmart John in the kitchen, bedroom, and battlefield comical, too. Without the luminous presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" would qualify as just another mediocre matrimonial melodrama.
FILM REVIEW OF ''MILITIA'' (2000)
This standard-issue, made-for-cable, action thriller about hunky ATF agent Ethan Carter ("Lois & Clark's" Dean Cain) going undercover to root out right-wing radicals that want to assassinate the President of the United States at a World Summit Conference is strictly routine from fade-in to fade-out. The first fifteen minutes sets up the plot as Agent Anderson (John Beck of "The Other Side of Midnight") spearheads a helicopter raid on a rural-based militia compound where the bad guys have illegal weapons.The most interesting thing about the opening shoot-out is that neither side wants to fire the first shot, and the fire shot is fired accidentally when a child drops his rifle and it discharges. My only question is how do the ATF guys in the chopper hear the kid's weapon discharge over the rotor blades? Our sharp-shooting hero Carter wounds the chief antagonist, William Fain (Frederick Forrest of "Apocalypse Now") and Anderson takes this notorious evil doer into custody to serve a 25 year sentence behind bars. Two years pass, and Fain cuts a deal with Anderson that gets the militia mastermind out of maximum security and on the right side of the law with the ATF. Fain agrees to infiltrate Agent Carter (Cain), the very same man who wounded him, into a group of fanatics run by a well-known radio commentator (Stacy Keach of TV's "Mike Hammer'), so that they can foil his nefarious designs. Meanwhile, the bad guys steal a vial of deadly anthrax (it resembles a test tube of urine) from a federal laboratory. Prolific movie maker Jay Andrews of "Extreme Limits" supplements this scene of derring-do with footage from James Cameron's "Terminator 2," right down to the conspicuous Cyberdyne sign outside of the building. Later, the same two henchmen who swiped the anthrax occupy a government missile launching facility and load the anthrax into a cluster bomb rocket. Can we say "The Rock" with Sean Connery and Ed Harris?
The formulaic action follows the numbers without missing a cliché. "Flashdance's" Jennifer Beals makes an improbable ATF agent named Saunders who acts as Carter's liaison in the field. Early on, Carter and Saunders clash over her dire lack of experience and how her best efforts seem designed to incriminate him in the eyes of the opposition. Later, she gets to prove her own sharp-shooting skills in one scene where she ices an obnoxious villain. The best thing about her wooden performance is that she doesn't look like she has aged a day since "Flashdance."
Several familiar faces also flesh out the cast, notably Michael Cavanaugh of "The Enforcer," blubbery Alabama native Brett Butler of "Grace Under Fire," and portly Stacy Keach as a mealy-mouthed madman. Beefy cupcake Dean Cain doesn't get much to do during the middle section of "Militia" after he is taken captive by the bad guys. The surprise here isn't really much of a surprise. The fire-ball explosions look good, but like a lot of other things about this boilerplate melodrama, the producers lifted them from movies such as "American Ninja 2" and "Delta Force 2." Altogether, this highly far-fetched but tolerable shoot-em up isn't as bad as some say, but neither does "Militia" stand out from the crowd. Andrews directs with his customary impersonal style. If you're looking for blood, gore, and breasts, prepare to be disappointed. The superficial screenplay doesn't make much out of our Constitutional right to bear arms, but it does make our hero sympathetic, because he claims that guns are tools for him, not collector's items. Again, you could do a lot worse or a lot better.
The formulaic action follows the numbers without missing a cliché. "Flashdance's" Jennifer Beals makes an improbable ATF agent named Saunders who acts as Carter's liaison in the field. Early on, Carter and Saunders clash over her dire lack of experience and how her best efforts seem designed to incriminate him in the eyes of the opposition. Later, she gets to prove her own sharp-shooting skills in one scene where she ices an obnoxious villain. The best thing about her wooden performance is that she doesn't look like she has aged a day since "Flashdance."
Several familiar faces also flesh out the cast, notably Michael Cavanaugh of "The Enforcer," blubbery Alabama native Brett Butler of "Grace Under Fire," and portly Stacy Keach as a mealy-mouthed madman. Beefy cupcake Dean Cain doesn't get much to do during the middle section of "Militia" after he is taken captive by the bad guys. The surprise here isn't really much of a surprise. The fire-ball explosions look good, but like a lot of other things about this boilerplate melodrama, the producers lifted them from movies such as "American Ninja 2" and "Delta Force 2." Altogether, this highly far-fetched but tolerable shoot-em up isn't as bad as some say, but neither does "Militia" stand out from the crowd. Andrews directs with his customary impersonal style. If you're looking for blood, gore, and breasts, prepare to be disappointed. The superficial screenplay doesn't make much out of our Constitutional right to bear arms, but it does make our hero sympathetic, because he claims that guns are tools for him, not collector's items. Again, you could do a lot worse or a lot better.
FILM REVIEW OF ''ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13" (2005)
The only thing worse than a sequel is a remake. Indeed, the odds against making a movie remake that tops the original are at best astronomical. At least, in a sequel, you have a fair idea what to expect, but a remake can alter everything. Anybody remember that awful 2003 remake of Tobe Hooper's scary "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" How about Tim Burton's rehash of "Planet of the Apes?" The Marlon Brando remake of the 1935 Clark Gable classic "Mutiny on the Bounty" remains an all-time sinker of a remake.
Sometimes, however, lightning strikes. The 1959 Lana Turner version of the weepy "Imitation of Life" surpasses the 1934 Claudette Colbert original. The Mel Gibson thriller "Payback" held its own against the tough-minded Lee Marvin original "Point Blank" (1967). The 1925 silent film "Ben-Hur" remains a powerful movie in its own right, but the sound version with Charlton Heston overshadows it. Although it flopped at the box office, the recent remake of "Willard" is far more effective than the 1971 original. Similarly, frightening as George A. Romeo's "Dawn of the Dead" (1979) is, the grisly remake carved out a niche of its own, worthy of its predecessor.
French director Jean-Francois Richet's new crime thriller "Assault on Precinct 13" (*** out of ****) amounts to a hard-boiled, adrenalin-laced, high-octane remake of "Halloween" director John Carpenter's modest but imaginative 1976 original. Carpenter made his movie on an estimated $100-thousand budget without a celebrity cast, and the plot was straightforward but white-knuckled. Essentially, Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13" constituted an inner city spin on Howard Hawks' "Rio Bravo," the venerable John Wayne & Dean Martin western. Whereas Carpenter's "Assault" clocked in at 91 lean, mean, trim minutes, the $30-million "Assault" remake runs 109 minutes. The story is essentially the same in both epics, only the characters and the intensity of the fireworks have been changed to keep pace with today's standards.
As remakes go, "Assault on Precinct 13" outstrips the Carpenter film on virtually every count, except originality—which isn't saying much given its derivative predecessor. In his first English-language film, director Jean-Francois Richet has assembled a convincing cast featuring Oscar winning actor Ethan Hawke, "Matrix" superstar Laurence Fishburne, "The Usual Suspects'" Gabriel Byrne, Brian Dennehy of "Silverado," and John Leguizamo of "Executive Decision." The new "Assault on Precinct 13" ramps up the violence considerably, though no kids are shot in the face through an ice-cream cone as in the Carpenter original. When the gunplay erupts in this grim, claustrophobic thriller, you might have to stuff popcorn in your ears. Every shot registers like an artillery barrage. Of course, the script by James DeMonaco of "The Negotiator" consists of clichés and conventions with stereotypical characters in abundance. However, DeMonaco endows these cornered characters with far more depth than Carpenter did.
The action in the "Assault" remake unfolds in snowy Detroit instead of sunny Los Angeles. Ostensibly, Carpenter's "Assault" weighed in as an exercise in spartan suspense, while Richet's remake is a big-budget, no-holds-barred, blow-the-top-of-your-head-off, melodrama. Eight months after getting shot in the leg in a drug-bust-gone-bad that claims the lives of two other cops, Sergeant Jake Roenick (Ethan Hawke of "Training Day") is popping painkillers and keeping a low profile as the desk sergeant at Precinct 13. As it turns out, the city is shutting down Precinct 13 for good, and Jake and a skeleton crew are stuck inside its dilapidated premises during a blinding snowstorm on New Year's Eve. Meanwhile, the Detroit police have arrested a notorious mobster, Marion Bishop (Laurence Fishburne), and an army of crooked cops led by the nefarious Marcus Duvall (Gabriel Byrne) want to terminate him with extreme prejudice so that he cannot sing like a canary to the grand jury. In the Carpenter original, gang members with silencers on their guns besieged the cops. Here, every corrupt cop in Detroit shows up for sniper duty to for target practice. Indeed, these gimlet-eyed snipers have a bad habit of missing more often than hitting their marks. Unless you stand stock still in the "Assault" remake, you have a better-than-average chance of survival. Of course, the villains are always terrible marksmen; otherwise they'd mow down the heroes and ruin the ending. Nevertheless, if either the good guys or the bad guys have you covered within an arm's length, you can expect to see exploding brains in the tradition of "Pulp Fiction." If you cannot stand the sight of blood, avoid this blood drenched remake. DeMarco's script dawdles in the middle and doesn't spring any eye-opening surprises. The surprise ending, however, comes as quite a revelation, considering the guy that gets away is as amoral as they come. The least believable surprise gets our heroes out of danger long enough to land them right back into jeopardy. A suspenseful stalking scene in a nearby wooded area seems out of place, but Richet wrings every ounce of tension from it that he can. As a director, Richet is cut from the same cloth as his French compatriot Luc Besson who helmed the trigger-happy "Le Femme Nitika" and "Leon, The Professional." Richet pours on the fusillades of gunfire when the characters don't pause to discuss their next move. You've seen this movie a zillion times if you watch westerns. Basically, the dirty cops stand in for the screaming Apaches that ride circles around the wagon train. Richet achieves a frenetic, life-on-the-raw-edge quality with his shaky camera treatment of the opening scene. This guy definitely knows how to stage action scenes with energy and flair.
Reportedly, even Carpenter liked DeMarco's screenplay, and Richet consulted him about his bullet-blasting update. Altogether, "Assault on Precinct 13" emerges as a well-done remake that will make a reputation for itself without endangering the original's cult status.
Sometimes, however, lightning strikes. The 1959 Lana Turner version of the weepy "Imitation of Life" surpasses the 1934 Claudette Colbert original. The Mel Gibson thriller "Payback" held its own against the tough-minded Lee Marvin original "Point Blank" (1967). The 1925 silent film "Ben-Hur" remains a powerful movie in its own right, but the sound version with Charlton Heston overshadows it. Although it flopped at the box office, the recent remake of "Willard" is far more effective than the 1971 original. Similarly, frightening as George A. Romeo's "Dawn of the Dead" (1979) is, the grisly remake carved out a niche of its own, worthy of its predecessor.
French director Jean-Francois Richet's new crime thriller "Assault on Precinct 13" (*** out of ****) amounts to a hard-boiled, adrenalin-laced, high-octane remake of "Halloween" director John Carpenter's modest but imaginative 1976 original. Carpenter made his movie on an estimated $100-thousand budget without a celebrity cast, and the plot was straightforward but white-knuckled. Essentially, Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13" constituted an inner city spin on Howard Hawks' "Rio Bravo," the venerable John Wayne & Dean Martin western. Whereas Carpenter's "Assault" clocked in at 91 lean, mean, trim minutes, the $30-million "Assault" remake runs 109 minutes. The story is essentially the same in both epics, only the characters and the intensity of the fireworks have been changed to keep pace with today's standards.
As remakes go, "Assault on Precinct 13" outstrips the Carpenter film on virtually every count, except originality—which isn't saying much given its derivative predecessor. In his first English-language film, director Jean-Francois Richet has assembled a convincing cast featuring Oscar winning actor Ethan Hawke, "Matrix" superstar Laurence Fishburne, "The Usual Suspects'" Gabriel Byrne, Brian Dennehy of "Silverado," and John Leguizamo of "Executive Decision." The new "Assault on Precinct 13" ramps up the violence considerably, though no kids are shot in the face through an ice-cream cone as in the Carpenter original. When the gunplay erupts in this grim, claustrophobic thriller, you might have to stuff popcorn in your ears. Every shot registers like an artillery barrage. Of course, the script by James DeMonaco of "The Negotiator" consists of clichés and conventions with stereotypical characters in abundance. However, DeMonaco endows these cornered characters with far more depth than Carpenter did.
The action in the "Assault" remake unfolds in snowy Detroit instead of sunny Los Angeles. Ostensibly, Carpenter's "Assault" weighed in as an exercise in spartan suspense, while Richet's remake is a big-budget, no-holds-barred, blow-the-top-of-your-head-off, melodrama. Eight months after getting shot in the leg in a drug-bust-gone-bad that claims the lives of two other cops, Sergeant Jake Roenick (Ethan Hawke of "Training Day") is popping painkillers and keeping a low profile as the desk sergeant at Precinct 13. As it turns out, the city is shutting down Precinct 13 for good, and Jake and a skeleton crew are stuck inside its dilapidated premises during a blinding snowstorm on New Year's Eve. Meanwhile, the Detroit police have arrested a notorious mobster, Marion Bishop (Laurence Fishburne), and an army of crooked cops led by the nefarious Marcus Duvall (Gabriel Byrne) want to terminate him with extreme prejudice so that he cannot sing like a canary to the grand jury. In the Carpenter original, gang members with silencers on their guns besieged the cops. Here, every corrupt cop in Detroit shows up for sniper duty to for target practice. Indeed, these gimlet-eyed snipers have a bad habit of missing more often than hitting their marks. Unless you stand stock still in the "Assault" remake, you have a better-than-average chance of survival. Of course, the villains are always terrible marksmen; otherwise they'd mow down the heroes and ruin the ending. Nevertheless, if either the good guys or the bad guys have you covered within an arm's length, you can expect to see exploding brains in the tradition of "Pulp Fiction." If you cannot stand the sight of blood, avoid this blood drenched remake. DeMarco's script dawdles in the middle and doesn't spring any eye-opening surprises. The surprise ending, however, comes as quite a revelation, considering the guy that gets away is as amoral as they come. The least believable surprise gets our heroes out of danger long enough to land them right back into jeopardy. A suspenseful stalking scene in a nearby wooded area seems out of place, but Richet wrings every ounce of tension from it that he can. As a director, Richet is cut from the same cloth as his French compatriot Luc Besson who helmed the trigger-happy "Le Femme Nitika" and "Leon, The Professional." Richet pours on the fusillades of gunfire when the characters don't pause to discuss their next move. You've seen this movie a zillion times if you watch westerns. Basically, the dirty cops stand in for the screaming Apaches that ride circles around the wagon train. Richet achieves a frenetic, life-on-the-raw-edge quality with his shaky camera treatment of the opening scene. This guy definitely knows how to stage action scenes with energy and flair.
Reportedly, even Carpenter liked DeMarco's screenplay, and Richet consulted him about his bullet-blasting update. Altogether, "Assault on Precinct 13" emerges as a well-done remake that will make a reputation for itself without endangering the original's cult status.
FILM REVIEW OF ''AUSTIN POWERS 2: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME" (1999)
Anybody that enjoyed the first Austin Powers epic should love the sequel. The gags in "Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me" (***1/2 out of ****) surpass the original not only in comic creativity but also in how much they make you cringe. The cosmic struggle between good and evil as embodied in Austin Powers' battle against Dr. Evil has never been funnier. Cheeky scatological humor permeates this derivative tale along with the usual bad puns, double-entendres, infantile innuendo, and farcical slapstick. Director Jay Roach and writer & star Mike Myers have boned-up their flaky-flashy formula, introduced new characters, embellished on-going subplots, and pulled out all stops to top the original. Naturally, the Austin Powers movies celebrate as much as poke fun at those hip 1960's spy sagas where James Bond, Matt Helm, and Derek Flint used their wits and ways with women to vanquish the villains.
Co-scripted by Mike Myers and Michael McCullers, "AP2" picks up where the original left off. Opening with a campy nod to "Star Wars," they recap the original adventure with their own prologue scrolling into deep space. Not only has Austin Powers (Mike Myers) defeated his arch enemy Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) and exiled him to the dark recesses of space, but Powers also gotten his ugly teeth fixed and has married Vanessa Keningston (Elizabeth Hurley in a cameo).
While Austin and Vanessa shag away in the honeymoon suite, Dr. Evil's Big Boy rocket reappears on Norad Radar. An American astronaut working on the space shuttle looks up and finds the famous Shoney's Restaurant icon hovering ominously in an atmospheric "Armageddon' like rendezvous that sets the tone of hilarity in this facetious sequel. Whirling 180 degrees around the smiling Big Boy rocket, the camera focuses on the Big Boy's butt as a hinged compartment lowers, launching an egg which tumbles to the Earth. Indeed, the diabolical Dr. Evil is back! Meanwhile, Austin learns that Vanessa isn't really Vanessa. Instead, she is a fembot, a Terminator-like robot equipped with machine guns in her breasts which she deploys to gun down Austin. Predictably, he survives her barrage of bullets and rescue her Swedish, penis-enlarging machine while the deadly fembot obliterates everything in sight before she self-destructs.
Later, Austin learns from Basil Exposition (Michael York), chief of British Intelligence, that they knew all along that Vanessa was a fembot. Rejoicing at his new found freedom, Austin cavorts throughout the motel in his birthday suit while psychedelic screen credits carefully obscure his genitals. When the credits don't cover up his crotch, different objects resembling his genitals show up in a series of inventive sight gags cover them up. Basically, director Jay Roach has recycled the same joke from the first "AP" movie but has tripled the objects standing in for Austin's genitalia.
While the first "AP" movie gave its eponymous hero the lion's share of screen time, Dr. Evil dominates the sequel. Actually, between the two, Dr. Evil is far more interesting. Resembling Ernst Blofeld from "You Only Live Twice," Dr. Evil is the epitome of irony. Just as he did in "AP," Dr. Evil allows his vendetta to kill Powers overshadow his plans to enlarge his astronomically wealthy empire. The product placement here is clearly over-the-top as we find Dr. Evil in his high-rise headquarters in the Seattle space needle. Number Two (Robert Wagner in a cameo) reports that since they have acquired a minor coffee franchise, Starbucks, they have reaped a fortune. Acquiring a fortune takes a back seat to Dr. Evil's latest mad scheme. He intends to go back in time to 1969, two years before Austin Powers has been frozen cryogenically, to pinch our hero's mojo. Dr. Evil dispatches his most odious hoodlum, Fat Bastard (Myers in a third role), a baby-chomping, kilt-clad Scottish bagpipe blowing thug who weighs a ton.
Meanwhile, back in the future, Austin learns to his chagrin that he has lost his mojo. Essentially, the swinging secret agent no longer has his virility, leaving him impotent. Basil Exposition confirms it, and British Intelligence plans to send him back to the past in a time machine to 1969. Appropriately enough, a new Volkswagen Beetle with psychedelic colors serves as the time machine. Austin returns to swinging London and hooks up with fox CIA agent Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham of "Boogie Nights"). They set out to recover his mojo and thwart Dr. Evil's fiendish plan to destroy Washington with a moon-based laser.
The Austin Powers movies synthesize the spy flicks of the 1960s along with the premise from the Sylvester Stallone thriller "Demolition Man." References to other movies creep into the action. When Dr. Evil's chair spins out of control, he invokes the chant from "The Exorcist." Incidentally, we learn in "AP2" that Austin's favorite movie is "In Like Flint." Nothing more than a loosely aligned jumble of "Saturday Night Live" skits like the original, "AP2" happily acknowledges its own absurdity in a couple of self-depreciating asides. Boldly, the filmmakers tell audiences in one scene to ignore the loopholes in the plot and enjoy the show. During a ride along a scenic stretch of road, Austin observes, "Amazing how England looks in no way like southern California." Director Jay Roach, who helmed the first "AP" movie, returns for the sequel. Clocking in at a trim 95 minutes, "AP2" rarely slows down, so if you watch it with a rowdy audience, you may miss some of the punch lines. The dancing interludes are flavorful and flashy, and the film's energy never wanes. Roach keeps the story rolling and the jokes flying as thick as bullets. One of the funniest scenes has Dr. Evil flying a spaceship shaped like erect male genitalia. Quick cuts from different people reacting to the object fuel the comedy.
"AP2" boasts beefed up production values that approximate the films that it sends up. Some of the funniest scenes involve Dr. Evil's relationship with his son Scott Evil (Seth Green). You'll die laughing at "AP2."
Co-scripted by Mike Myers and Michael McCullers, "AP2" picks up where the original left off. Opening with a campy nod to "Star Wars," they recap the original adventure with their own prologue scrolling into deep space. Not only has Austin Powers (Mike Myers) defeated his arch enemy Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) and exiled him to the dark recesses of space, but Powers also gotten his ugly teeth fixed and has married Vanessa Keningston (Elizabeth Hurley in a cameo).
While Austin and Vanessa shag away in the honeymoon suite, Dr. Evil's Big Boy rocket reappears on Norad Radar. An American astronaut working on the space shuttle looks up and finds the famous Shoney's Restaurant icon hovering ominously in an atmospheric "Armageddon' like rendezvous that sets the tone of hilarity in this facetious sequel. Whirling 180 degrees around the smiling Big Boy rocket, the camera focuses on the Big Boy's butt as a hinged compartment lowers, launching an egg which tumbles to the Earth. Indeed, the diabolical Dr. Evil is back! Meanwhile, Austin learns that Vanessa isn't really Vanessa. Instead, she is a fembot, a Terminator-like robot equipped with machine guns in her breasts which she deploys to gun down Austin. Predictably, he survives her barrage of bullets and rescue her Swedish, penis-enlarging machine while the deadly fembot obliterates everything in sight before she self-destructs.
Later, Austin learns from Basil Exposition (Michael York), chief of British Intelligence, that they knew all along that Vanessa was a fembot. Rejoicing at his new found freedom, Austin cavorts throughout the motel in his birthday suit while psychedelic screen credits carefully obscure his genitals. When the credits don't cover up his crotch, different objects resembling his genitals show up in a series of inventive sight gags cover them up. Basically, director Jay Roach has recycled the same joke from the first "AP" movie but has tripled the objects standing in for Austin's genitalia.
While the first "AP" movie gave its eponymous hero the lion's share of screen time, Dr. Evil dominates the sequel. Actually, between the two, Dr. Evil is far more interesting. Resembling Ernst Blofeld from "You Only Live Twice," Dr. Evil is the epitome of irony. Just as he did in "AP," Dr. Evil allows his vendetta to kill Powers overshadow his plans to enlarge his astronomically wealthy empire. The product placement here is clearly over-the-top as we find Dr. Evil in his high-rise headquarters in the Seattle space needle. Number Two (Robert Wagner in a cameo) reports that since they have acquired a minor coffee franchise, Starbucks, they have reaped a fortune. Acquiring a fortune takes a back seat to Dr. Evil's latest mad scheme. He intends to go back in time to 1969, two years before Austin Powers has been frozen cryogenically, to pinch our hero's mojo. Dr. Evil dispatches his most odious hoodlum, Fat Bastard (Myers in a third role), a baby-chomping, kilt-clad Scottish bagpipe blowing thug who weighs a ton.
Meanwhile, back in the future, Austin learns to his chagrin that he has lost his mojo. Essentially, the swinging secret agent no longer has his virility, leaving him impotent. Basil Exposition confirms it, and British Intelligence plans to send him back to the past in a time machine to 1969. Appropriately enough, a new Volkswagen Beetle with psychedelic colors serves as the time machine. Austin returns to swinging London and hooks up with fox CIA agent Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham of "Boogie Nights"). They set out to recover his mojo and thwart Dr. Evil's fiendish plan to destroy Washington with a moon-based laser.
The Austin Powers movies synthesize the spy flicks of the 1960s along with the premise from the Sylvester Stallone thriller "Demolition Man." References to other movies creep into the action. When Dr. Evil's chair spins out of control, he invokes the chant from "The Exorcist." Incidentally, we learn in "AP2" that Austin's favorite movie is "In Like Flint." Nothing more than a loosely aligned jumble of "Saturday Night Live" skits like the original, "AP2" happily acknowledges its own absurdity in a couple of self-depreciating asides. Boldly, the filmmakers tell audiences in one scene to ignore the loopholes in the plot and enjoy the show. During a ride along a scenic stretch of road, Austin observes, "Amazing how England looks in no way like southern California." Director Jay Roach, who helmed the first "AP" movie, returns for the sequel. Clocking in at a trim 95 minutes, "AP2" rarely slows down, so if you watch it with a rowdy audience, you may miss some of the punch lines. The dancing interludes are flavorful and flashy, and the film's energy never wanes. Roach keeps the story rolling and the jokes flying as thick as bullets. One of the funniest scenes has Dr. Evil flying a spaceship shaped like erect male genitalia. Quick cuts from different people reacting to the object fuel the comedy.
"AP2" boasts beefed up production values that approximate the films that it sends up. Some of the funniest scenes involve Dr. Evil's relationship with his son Scott Evil (Seth Green). You'll die laughing at "AP2."
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
FILM REVIEW OF ''VALKYRIE'' (2008)
The new Tom Cruise movie "Valkyrie," a dutiful but dreary reenactment of the 20th July 1944 Hitler bomb plot is no blast. Clocking in at a tedious two hours, this military procedural potboiler about the last of 15 flawed efforts to assassinate Adolf Hitler displays immaculate production values and a first-class cast. Nevertheless, "Superman Returns" director Bryan Singer serves up no thrills or chills. Further, "Valkyrie" provides no surprises or suspense, primarily because we know already that the pusillanimous generals botched the bomb plot.
Mind you, "Valkyrie" isn't the first movie about the fateful events leading up to another bungled German Army High Command conspiracy to kill Hitler and salvage the Third Reich. The Germans themselves produced an award-winning, made-for-TV movie "Stauffenberg" about the Hitler bomb attempt in 2004. Previously, CBS-TV aired "The Plot to Kill Hitler" with "Midnight Express" star Brad Davis playing Colonel von Stauffenberg in 1990. The bomb plot played a peripheral role in the Richard Burton World War II film "Breakthrough" (1978) with Robert Mitchum. The classic Peter O'Toole World War II thriller "The Night of the Generals" (1967) contained a subplot about von Stauffenberg's fiasco. Earlier, back in 1955, West German filmmakers unveiled the first theatrical version of the same events entitled "The Plot to Assassinate Hitler" with Wolfgang Priess starring as von Stauffenberg. Even if World War II film fanatics haven't heard of Priess, they have seen him in several W.W. II films, notably "The Longest Day," "A Bridge Too Far," "Raid on Rommel," and "Von Ryan's Express."
"Valkyrie" opens in Tunisia, North Africa 1943, with the German Army's 10th Panzer Division in the desert. Colonel von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) writes in his diary about his determination to kill Hitler and save lives. Later, he speaks with a Wehrmacht officer general who resembles Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, but this officer (Bernard Hill of "Titanic") clearly isn't the legendary Desert Fox. Moments later, British fighter planes swoop down to strafe and bomb the Germans. Explosions kill the Rommel looking general while von Stauffenberg loses his left eye, his right hand, and two fingers on his left hand. Miscast as he is, Tom Cruise earns some credit for playing a radically different type of hero than he usually plays. However, the top-notch British and German actors who surround him blow him off the screen with their heavyweight performances. Terence Stamp, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, and even comedian Eddie Izzard upstage him at every turn.
After von Stauffenberg recovers from his wounds, he joins the general staff of General Friedrich Olbricht (Bill Nighy of "Underworld") and fellow conspirators Major-General Henning von Tresckow (Kenneth Branagh of "Henry V") and General Ludwig Beck (Terence Stamp of "Yes Man") tap him to devise a better plan to kill Hitler. Ironically, von Stauffenberg concocts a new plan when he is reunited with his family on holiday. His children spin a copy of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" on their turntable. Allied bombers break up the reunion and the needle skips off the 78 RPM record. As he huddles in an air raid shelter, von Stauffenberg hears the tone arm skip back to play the Wagner opera and his eyes glitter. The generals approve of von Stauffenberg's plan to mobilize Hitler's reserve army--codenamed 'Valkyrie'--to help them take control of the Third Reich after they have killed the dastardly dictator. Our hero sets about the task of recruiting more members for the conspiracy and devising an explosive charge that will kill Hitler. Unfortunately, von Stauffenberg begins to see why all previous assassinate attempts failed. The political and military titans of the conspiracy lack conviction and quarrel about petty details. The indecision on the part of these conspirators and von Stauffenberg's own crusade to kill the little corporal seal their doom and safeguard Hitler.
Technically, while "Valkyrie" is correct in every respect with regard to history, Singer and writers Christopher McQuarrie of "The Usual Suspects" and newcomer Nathan Alexander have made a thriller than generates monotony more often than momentum. "Valkyrie" plays out in rooms and on roads. We watch German officers get out of either planes or cars, march into buildings, enter rooms, and talk, talk, talk. Afterward, we watch these same officers exit rooms, walk out of buildings, get into either cars or planes, and head off to other interiors where they babble some more. Incredibly, there are only two quotable lines in the entire movie! Singer and company provide a few scenes between our hero and his wife, but each lacks intimacy because they are either disrupted by a bombing raid or music drowns out their dialogue.
Worse, Adolf Hitler (David Bamber of "The Bourne Identity") spends most of his time on screen puttering about in a daze. Why would any filmmaker trot out the most maniacal villain in 20th century history and reduce him to a simpering sad sack? Indeed, "Valkyrie" arouses more sympathy for Hitler than the people who proved themselves too incompetent to eliminate him. Ultimately, "Valkyrie" isn't so much a tragedy of errors as it is a humdrum movie about a conspiracy of well-meaning imbeciles who wanted to strike a bargain with the Allies before the Allied armies trampled the Fatherland. Anybody who knows their history knows about the newsreel footage of der Fuehrer stomping happily about after the debacle of the bomb attempt. Hitler is never shown performing this shtick.
Suffice to say, avoid "Valkyrie!"
Mind you, "Valkyrie" isn't the first movie about the fateful events leading up to another bungled German Army High Command conspiracy to kill Hitler and salvage the Third Reich. The Germans themselves produced an award-winning, made-for-TV movie "Stauffenberg" about the Hitler bomb attempt in 2004. Previously, CBS-TV aired "The Plot to Kill Hitler" with "Midnight Express" star Brad Davis playing Colonel von Stauffenberg in 1990. The bomb plot played a peripheral role in the Richard Burton World War II film "Breakthrough" (1978) with Robert Mitchum. The classic Peter O'Toole World War II thriller "The Night of the Generals" (1967) contained a subplot about von Stauffenberg's fiasco. Earlier, back in 1955, West German filmmakers unveiled the first theatrical version of the same events entitled "The Plot to Assassinate Hitler" with Wolfgang Priess starring as von Stauffenberg. Even if World War II film fanatics haven't heard of Priess, they have seen him in several W.W. II films, notably "The Longest Day," "A Bridge Too Far," "Raid on Rommel," and "Von Ryan's Express."
"Valkyrie" opens in Tunisia, North Africa 1943, with the German Army's 10th Panzer Division in the desert. Colonel von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) writes in his diary about his determination to kill Hitler and save lives. Later, he speaks with a Wehrmacht officer general who resembles Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, but this officer (Bernard Hill of "Titanic") clearly isn't the legendary Desert Fox. Moments later, British fighter planes swoop down to strafe and bomb the Germans. Explosions kill the Rommel looking general while von Stauffenberg loses his left eye, his right hand, and two fingers on his left hand. Miscast as he is, Tom Cruise earns some credit for playing a radically different type of hero than he usually plays. However, the top-notch British and German actors who surround him blow him off the screen with their heavyweight performances. Terence Stamp, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, and even comedian Eddie Izzard upstage him at every turn.
After von Stauffenberg recovers from his wounds, he joins the general staff of General Friedrich Olbricht (Bill Nighy of "Underworld") and fellow conspirators Major-General Henning von Tresckow (Kenneth Branagh of "Henry V") and General Ludwig Beck (Terence Stamp of "Yes Man") tap him to devise a better plan to kill Hitler. Ironically, von Stauffenberg concocts a new plan when he is reunited with his family on holiday. His children spin a copy of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" on their turntable. Allied bombers break up the reunion and the needle skips off the 78 RPM record. As he huddles in an air raid shelter, von Stauffenberg hears the tone arm skip back to play the Wagner opera and his eyes glitter. The generals approve of von Stauffenberg's plan to mobilize Hitler's reserve army--codenamed 'Valkyrie'--to help them take control of the Third Reich after they have killed the dastardly dictator. Our hero sets about the task of recruiting more members for the conspiracy and devising an explosive charge that will kill Hitler. Unfortunately, von Stauffenberg begins to see why all previous assassinate attempts failed. The political and military titans of the conspiracy lack conviction and quarrel about petty details. The indecision on the part of these conspirators and von Stauffenberg's own crusade to kill the little corporal seal their doom and safeguard Hitler.
Technically, while "Valkyrie" is correct in every respect with regard to history, Singer and writers Christopher McQuarrie of "The Usual Suspects" and newcomer Nathan Alexander have made a thriller than generates monotony more often than momentum. "Valkyrie" plays out in rooms and on roads. We watch German officers get out of either planes or cars, march into buildings, enter rooms, and talk, talk, talk. Afterward, we watch these same officers exit rooms, walk out of buildings, get into either cars or planes, and head off to other interiors where they babble some more. Incredibly, there are only two quotable lines in the entire movie! Singer and company provide a few scenes between our hero and his wife, but each lacks intimacy because they are either disrupted by a bombing raid or music drowns out their dialogue.
Worse, Adolf Hitler (David Bamber of "The Bourne Identity") spends most of his time on screen puttering about in a daze. Why would any filmmaker trot out the most maniacal villain in 20th century history and reduce him to a simpering sad sack? Indeed, "Valkyrie" arouses more sympathy for Hitler than the people who proved themselves too incompetent to eliminate him. Ultimately, "Valkyrie" isn't so much a tragedy of errors as it is a humdrum movie about a conspiracy of well-meaning imbeciles who wanted to strike a bargain with the Allies before the Allied armies trampled the Fatherland. Anybody who knows their history knows about the newsreel footage of der Fuehrer stomping happily about after the debacle of the bomb attempt. Hitler is never shown performing this shtick.
Suffice to say, avoid "Valkyrie!"
FILM REVIEW OF ''YES MAN'' (2008)
Just say NO to the new Jim Carrey comedy “Yes Man” (** out of ****), a frivolous exercise in high-concept celluloid that co-stars dishy Zooey Deschanel and grim-faced Terence Stamp. This one-note nonsense about a negative-minded man who realizes the affirmative power of the word ‘yes’ recalls an earlier Carrey epic “Liar, Liar” (1997) about an unprincipled lawyer who prevaricated at the least provocation. The gimmick in “Liar Liar” was his son’s birthday wish that his father couldn’t fib. Consequently, the reformed attorney had to tell the truth no matter what the situation.
In “Yes Man,” the rubber-faced funny man must say ‘yes’ to everybody with a request. Inevitably, our hero’s life takes some hallowing turns, but nothing really surprising happens. Well, perhaps something surprising occurs in one scene where dentures in a glass of water on a night stand figures prominently. Mind you, moviegoers who appreciate risqué humor will split their sides laughing. Fastidious folks, on the contrary, may grimace with horror and feel offended by this salacious twist.
Along with its single usage of the F-word as prescribed by the Motion Picture Association of America in all PG-13 flicks, “Break Up” director Peyton Reed’s “Yes Man” recycles the typical boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-wins-girl back tale. Audiences that adore Carrey’s elastic-cheeked clowning no matter what he does may find this far-fetched foolishness farcical. Discriminating audiences will feel like they’ve been cheated, even at matinee prices. At 104 minutes, “Yes Man” qualifies as more mess than merriment.
Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) loves to say ‘no.’ As a bank loan officer, nay saying is second nature to him. As it turns out, our pitiful protagonist lost his wife, Stephanie (Molly Sims of “Starsky & Hutch”), after six months of marriage because she felt Carl was too dull for her own good. Since their divorce three years ago, Carl has shunned his friends, particularly Peter (Bradley Cooper of “The Comebacks”) and Rooney (Danny Masterson of “Face/Off”), and confined himself to his apartment watching Blockbuster DVDs. At work, Carl tolerates his goofy boss, Norm (a hilarious Rhys Darby of “"The Flight of the Conchords"), who keeps inviting him to his masquerade parties. Speaking of product placement, this Warner Brothers release shamelessly touts its own movies, such as the “Harry Potter” franchise and “300” for Norm’s parties.
One day while he is relaxing outside the bank, Carl meets a former bank colleague, Nick (John Michael Higgins of “Evan Almighty”), who lives life to the hilt and shows no ill effects for all his reckless indulgence. So impressed by Nick’s carefree attitude is Carl that he attends a self-help seminar hosted by charismatic Dale Carnegie-type counselor Terrence Bundley (Terence Stamp of “Superman”) who preaches about the positive power of saying ‘yes.’ Appropriately enough, Carl resists the urge to say yes, but the crowd around him changes his mind.
No sooner has our hero left the seminar than a shrewd homeless man, who has been taking advantage of Bundley’s converts, hits up Carl for a free ride to a far-off park, the use of his cell phone, and every dollar in his wallet. Not only does Carl run out of gas by the time he reaches the park, but also the homeless guy (Brent Briscoe of “Mr. Woodcock”) has depleted Carl’s cell phone battery. Carl traipses several miles back into town to fill up his gas container. At the gas station, he meets free-spirited, non-conformist Allison (Zooey Deschanel of “The Happening”) who is gassing up her motor scooter. She sports a helmet with Tweety Bird eyes painted on it so you know she is a little wacky, too. Anyway, Allison offers Carl a ride, and he says ‘yes’ to a new relationship. At the same time, Carl decides to take flying lessons, guitar lessons, learns to speak Korean, and searches for a spouse at the website persianwifefinder.com. Eventually, things sour for our love birds because Allison learns that Carl has programmed himself to say yes to everybody.
Watching Jim Carrey is always a treat because he is so spontaneous. His physical humor and his facial antics are as infectiously funny as ever. The contrived screenplay by “Fun with Dick & Jane” scribe Nicholas Stoller as well as newcomers Jarrad Paul and Andrew Mogol, however, runs out of comic momentum about 45 minutes and becomes hopelessly predictable. One amusing moment occurs when our hero saves a suicidal man (Luis Guzmán of “School for Scoundrels”) by using his newly acquired guitar playing skills and getting the man as well as a crowd of spectators to join him in a sing-along.
Carl’s love interest is flaky as all get-out; she teaches a photography class where students jog around Griffith Park and snap photos. You’d think Allison would have noticed how Carl always blurts out ‘yes’ to anybody. She decides to dump our hero because she feels that he isn’t so much attracted to her ridiculous life-style as he is committed to the ‘yes’ covenant he made with Bundley. Meanwhile, Rhys Darby matches Carrey’s maniac comic energy with his use of childish nicknames and nerdy parties. Terence Stamp, who played General Zod in the Christopher Reeve “Superman” movie, makes a great comic foil as the harried guru who bullied Carl into taking his covenant and regrets having done so during our hero’s fourth-quarter meltdown.
Indeed, the “Yes Man” trailer makes this movie look far better than it is. Aside from the possibly objectionable scene with an elderly, sex-starved neighbor who promises to relieve our hero’s anxieties, “Yes Man” amounts to a made-to-order, upbeat date movie. Nevertheless, compared with Carrey’s funnier films, especially his “Ace Ventura” movies, “Yes Man” is one big No-No.
In “Yes Man,” the rubber-faced funny man must say ‘yes’ to everybody with a request. Inevitably, our hero’s life takes some hallowing turns, but nothing really surprising happens. Well, perhaps something surprising occurs in one scene where dentures in a glass of water on a night stand figures prominently. Mind you, moviegoers who appreciate risqué humor will split their sides laughing. Fastidious folks, on the contrary, may grimace with horror and feel offended by this salacious twist.
Along with its single usage of the F-word as prescribed by the Motion Picture Association of America in all PG-13 flicks, “Break Up” director Peyton Reed’s “Yes Man” recycles the typical boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-wins-girl back tale. Audiences that adore Carrey’s elastic-cheeked clowning no matter what he does may find this far-fetched foolishness farcical. Discriminating audiences will feel like they’ve been cheated, even at matinee prices. At 104 minutes, “Yes Man” qualifies as more mess than merriment.
Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) loves to say ‘no.’ As a bank loan officer, nay saying is second nature to him. As it turns out, our pitiful protagonist lost his wife, Stephanie (Molly Sims of “Starsky & Hutch”), after six months of marriage because she felt Carl was too dull for her own good. Since their divorce three years ago, Carl has shunned his friends, particularly Peter (Bradley Cooper of “The Comebacks”) and Rooney (Danny Masterson of “Face/Off”), and confined himself to his apartment watching Blockbuster DVDs. At work, Carl tolerates his goofy boss, Norm (a hilarious Rhys Darby of “"The Flight of the Conchords"), who keeps inviting him to his masquerade parties. Speaking of product placement, this Warner Brothers release shamelessly touts its own movies, such as the “Harry Potter” franchise and “300” for Norm’s parties.
One day while he is relaxing outside the bank, Carl meets a former bank colleague, Nick (John Michael Higgins of “Evan Almighty”), who lives life to the hilt and shows no ill effects for all his reckless indulgence. So impressed by Nick’s carefree attitude is Carl that he attends a self-help seminar hosted by charismatic Dale Carnegie-type counselor Terrence Bundley (Terence Stamp of “Superman”) who preaches about the positive power of saying ‘yes.’ Appropriately enough, Carl resists the urge to say yes, but the crowd around him changes his mind.
No sooner has our hero left the seminar than a shrewd homeless man, who has been taking advantage of Bundley’s converts, hits up Carl for a free ride to a far-off park, the use of his cell phone, and every dollar in his wallet. Not only does Carl run out of gas by the time he reaches the park, but also the homeless guy (Brent Briscoe of “Mr. Woodcock”) has depleted Carl’s cell phone battery. Carl traipses several miles back into town to fill up his gas container. At the gas station, he meets free-spirited, non-conformist Allison (Zooey Deschanel of “The Happening”) who is gassing up her motor scooter. She sports a helmet with Tweety Bird eyes painted on it so you know she is a little wacky, too. Anyway, Allison offers Carl a ride, and he says ‘yes’ to a new relationship. At the same time, Carl decides to take flying lessons, guitar lessons, learns to speak Korean, and searches for a spouse at the website persianwifefinder.com. Eventually, things sour for our love birds because Allison learns that Carl has programmed himself to say yes to everybody.
Watching Jim Carrey is always a treat because he is so spontaneous. His physical humor and his facial antics are as infectiously funny as ever. The contrived screenplay by “Fun with Dick & Jane” scribe Nicholas Stoller as well as newcomers Jarrad Paul and Andrew Mogol, however, runs out of comic momentum about 45 minutes and becomes hopelessly predictable. One amusing moment occurs when our hero saves a suicidal man (Luis Guzmán of “School for Scoundrels”) by using his newly acquired guitar playing skills and getting the man as well as a crowd of spectators to join him in a sing-along.
Carl’s love interest is flaky as all get-out; she teaches a photography class where students jog around Griffith Park and snap photos. You’d think Allison would have noticed how Carl always blurts out ‘yes’ to anybody. She decides to dump our hero because she feels that he isn’t so much attracted to her ridiculous life-style as he is committed to the ‘yes’ covenant he made with Bundley. Meanwhile, Rhys Darby matches Carrey’s maniac comic energy with his use of childish nicknames and nerdy parties. Terence Stamp, who played General Zod in the Christopher Reeve “Superman” movie, makes a great comic foil as the harried guru who bullied Carl into taking his covenant and regrets having done so during our hero’s fourth-quarter meltdown.
Indeed, the “Yes Man” trailer makes this movie look far better than it is. Aside from the possibly objectionable scene with an elderly, sex-starved neighbor who promises to relieve our hero’s anxieties, “Yes Man” amounts to a made-to-order, upbeat date movie. Nevertheless, compared with Carrey’s funnier films, especially his “Ace Ventura” movies, “Yes Man” is one big No-No.
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