FILM REVIEW OF ''SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS" (2011)

According to The Guinness World Records, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s illustrious literary detective Sherlock Holmes ranks as “the most portrayed movie character” in cinematic history. Indeed, Hollywood has been shooting movies about Sherlock Holmes since the initial one-reeler, “Sherlock Holmes Baffled,” appeared in 1900, as a 30-second silent epic. Since then a number of actors have taken up residence at 221 B Baker Street, ranging from the most vintage, Basil Rathbone during the 1940s, to the most bohemian, Robert Downey, Jr., who received a Golden Globe for his performance in director Guy Ritchie’s “Sherlock Holmes” (2009). Mind you, the Holmes character has made an enviable reputation for himself on television, too. Actor Jeremy Britt took top honors with the definitive interpretation of the notable consulting detective throughout 41 episodes of the Granada Television series. Most recently, the BBC-TV revived Doyle’s gumshoe for the contemporary series “Sherlock” with Benedict Cumberbatch making his deductions amid a modern-day London. Clearly, with as many as 211 movies featuring him, Sherlock Holmes qualifies as an enduring protagonist whose eternal popularity has not diminished in over a century.

Meanwhile, “Lethal Weapon” producer Joel Silver and Ritchie have brought back Holmes for a superior sequel, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” (**** out of ****), and “Paper Man” scenarists Michele and Kieran Mulroney have pitted him against his most diabolical nemesis, that Napoleon of Crime, Professor James Moriarty. Nothing less than the fate of Western civilization hangs in the balance during this taut 129 minute melodrama which sends Dr. Watson with our eponymous protagonist globetrotting across Europe after “Sherlock Holmes” had confined them to London. Although Lord Blackwood proved an audacious adversary in “Sherlock Holmes,” Moriarty emerges as a far more stimulating opponent in a sequel that surpasses its predecessor. This Moriarty may be the best in any Holmes adventure. Ritchie and the Mulroneys have put the Victorian Era sleuth through the paces with several exciting sequences, including a bullet-riddled shoot-out on a railway train to a challenging chess match in a scenic castle in Switzerland posed on a waterfall. Happily, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” preserves the formula of its predecessor in every detail and character, not only replaying the ingenious Holmes-O-Vision fisticuffs scenes but also ushering in new characters, such as Holmes’ brilliant elder brother Mycroft. My only complaint about this otherwise tour-de-force mystery thriller is the short shrift given to Holmes’ love interest, Irene Adler, who doesn’t garner her share of screen time.

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” takes place in the year 1891 as anarchy threatens to engulf Europe and ignite war between France and Germany. The press speculates either nationalists or anarchists are behind the violence, but Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey, Jr. of “Iron Man”) believes Moriarty is to blame. Indeed, Moriarty is to blame! No sooner do his unwitting henchmen carry out a piece of his elaborate puzzle of murder and mayhem than a dishonorably discharged British sniper, Colonel Sebastian Moran (Paul Anderson of “A Lonely Place to Die”), kills them with extreme prejudice. Essentially, the sequel picks up where its predecessor more or less off as Dr. Watson is poised to wed Mary (Kelly Reilly of “Pride & Prejudice”) despite Holmes’ indefatigable efforts to derail matrimony. Holmes and Watson visit a London night club where Holmes was supposed to throw Watson’s stag party. Instead, Holmes runs into his brother Mycroft (Stephen Fry of “St. Trinian's”) and leaves a disgruntled Watson to gamble while he meets a gypsy woman, Madam Simza Heron (Noomi Rapace of the Swedish film “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”), who has been searching for her long lost brother named Rene. No sooner does Holmes read her fortune than a smelly Cossack warrior attacks them in an exhilarating scene. Later, after they escape, Holmes meets Moriarty at the university where he teaches mathematics. This is Holmes’ first encounter with Moriarty, and Moriarty tells him he plans to kill both Watson and his wife Mary on their honeymoon. Naturally, Holmes sets out to thwart him and all hell breaks loose.

Oscar-nominated actor Robert Downey, Jr., has another field day playing Sherlock Holmes. Some of his disguises make him virtually invisible. What may irritate die-hard Baker Street regulars are Downey’s undignified antics, particularly when he appears in drag to thwart the villains on the railroad out to murder Watson and his wife. Downey’s funniest scene has Holmes straddling a Shetland pony to the hilarious strains of Ennio Morricone’s music from the Clint Eastwood & Shirley MacLaine oater “Two Mules for Sister Sara.” Undoubtedly, Downey’s best dramatic scene occurs when he crosses analytical swords with Jared Harris’ Machiavellian Professor Moriarty. Mind you, Downey displays more personality than Harris. Nevertheless, Harris makes an undeniably menacing impression with a grand scheme to start a war. Jude Law reprises his role as Dr. Watson, and the chemistry between Law and Downey is still as charismatic as ever. Watson isn’t the bumbling oaf that Nigel Bruce was in the memorable Basil Rathbone outings in the 1940s. The mustached Law is as sharp with his wardrobe as he is with his revolver. For that matter, he is pretty good with military artillery. As Watson’s future wife, Kelly Reilly acquires more screen time here. Other supporting characters from the original, such as Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) and Holmes’ landlady Mrs. Hudson (Geraldine James), are back. One of producer Joel Silver’s better characteristics is his predilection for retaining the same characters as well as actors as he did in his quartet of “Lethal Weapon” blockbusters.

As usual, despite his revisionist handling of Holmes as a knuckle-smashing action hero, Ritchie makes sure that this lavishly produced thriller never wears out its welcome. Holmes and Watson find themselves up to their respective necks in danger. Happily, Ritchie and the Mulroney never fall back on the formulaic endangered woman plot with regard to Madam Simza and her part in the action. Unlike the first Ritchie “Holmes,” the sequel boasts a couple of tragic moments, but they don’t slow down the pace. Thanks to a lot of gorgeous computer-generated imagery and “Sommersby” lenser Philippe Rousselot photography, everything looks convincingly Victorian. Nothing about “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” is merely elementary, but everything is wholly entertaining.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE SITTER" (2011)

Comedian Jonah Hill usually plays a goof-off in a group of guys. He appeared in director Judd Apatow's "Knocked Up" as well as "Funny People" as part of a bunch of guys. Although Hill took top billing in "Superbad," Michael Cera attracted the lion's share of attention in that Judd Apatow produced teen comedy. Hill shared the screen with Russell Brand in another Judd Apatow produced laffer "Get Him to the Greek," but Brand dominated that comedy with his hopelessly eccentric persona. Now, in "Pineapple Express" director David Gordon Greene's "The Sitter," Jonah Hill plays top dog. Not only does he star as the protagonist, but he also is the butt of most of the humorous jokes.

Anybody who has seen the wonderful Christopher Columbus comedy "Adventures in Babysitting" (1987) might discern the palatable resemblance between "The Sitter"
(**** out of ****) and the former film. Freshman scribes Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka must have seen "Adventures in Babysitting," too, because Gordon's film involves a similar sequence of events. Circumstances compel our reluctant hero to serve as a babysitter. Later, he finds himself trapped between a rock and a hard place. Meaning, our hero must break rule number one of babysitting and leave the house. He must also break rule number two and take the children with him. Next, he breaks rule number three; he endangers their lives when he takes them in harm's way. The pay-off is that the kids learn some of life's harsh truths and experience a change in attitude about themselves. In fact, everybody, including the hero, learn something about themselves that they didn't know. The resemblance between the Chris Columbus movie and David Gordon Greene's movie ends at this point. "Adventures in Babysitting" qualified a mild PG-13 that skirted an R-rating, but kids and adults both can enjoy it. On the contrary, "The Sitter" deserves its R-rating for all of its profanity,
sexuality, and intense situations.

"The Sitter" is about the madcap misadventures of Noah Griffith (Jonah Hill of "Accepted"), a college drop-out slacker living at home with his single mom. Noah is such a pathetic character that he doesn't own a car and has to pedal around on his bicycle to visit his whiny blond girlfriend Marisa Lewis (Ari Graynor of "Mystic River") who is on the rebound. Our selfish hero winds up helping out his mother, Sandy Griffith (Jessica Hecht of "Sideways"), when he agrees to babysit three children for her. It seems that Sandy's dear friend Mrs. Pedulla (Erin Daniels of "One Hour Photo") has arranged a dinner date for her so Sandy can meet a bachelor surgeon. The backstory is that Noah's estranged father, Jim Griffith (Bruce Altman of "Matchstick Men"), who is a wealthy diamond salesman, divorced Sandy and wrangled a legal way out of paying her alimony. In fact, Jim left Sandy because he was cheating on her with the girl who he hired to babysit Noah. Now, Sandy has a shot at finding a husband, but there is a catch. When Mrs. Padilla's regular babysitter winds up with a urinary tract infection and cannot watch the kids, it looks like Pedullas will have to cancel the dinner date. Initially, Sandy tries to persuade Noah to substitute for the regular babysitter, but Noah objects. He argues that he is a grown man and grown men do not babysit. Noah realizes, however, that he is being self-centered and depriving his single mom of a chance to find happiness.

The wild and chaotic evening which ensues is one of the most traumatic in Noah's life. Everything looks pretty simple until he encounters the Pedulla kids. First, 9-year-old Blithe (newcomer Landry Bender) wants to grow up to become a media 'celebutante' like either Paris Hilton oLindsay Lohan. She copious amounts of make-up. Second, Blithe's 13-year old brother Slater (Max Records of "Where the Wild Things Are") suffers from a sexual identity crisis. As a result, his psychiatrist keeps him heavily medicated. What Max refuses to recognize is he is a latent gay tendencies. The Pedulla's third child is an El Salvadoran refugee, Rodrigo (newcomer Kevin Hernandez) with an anger management problem. Whereas Slater is mild-manner and repressed, Rodrigo is a full-tilt anus who loves to toy with explosives. Rodrigo's favorite pastime is tossing cherry bombs into toilets. Rodrigo isn't happy because he keeps getting foisted off on one foster home after another because of his
destructive antics.

No sooner have the Pedullas and Noah's mom embarked on their dinner date than Marisa phones Noah. She informs him she is finally prepared to have sex with him if he can score some coke for a friend. Impulsively, Noah throws caution to the wind. He piles the Pedulla children into their mini-van and cruises into New York City with them to buy cocaine from a psychotic dealer, Karl (Sam Rockwell of "Cowboys and Aliens"), who surrounds himself with muscle-bound bodybuilders. Rodrigo purloins one of Karl's prized dinosaur eggs packed with $10-thousand worth of coke. When Rodrigo and Noah tangle in a tug of war over the egg, they crack it and cocaine covers Noah's face. Later, a group of African-American gangstas steal the Pedullas' mini-van that Noah commandeered for their Manhattan melodrama. Now, Karl wants to ice Noah if our hero doesn't pay for the cocaine, and Noah still wants to hook-up with Maria.

Essentially, "The Sitter" constitutes a fish-out-of-water comedy where characters find themselves off their home turf at the mercy of merciless minions. Everything that can go wrong for Noah does go wrong. Miraculously, he manages to keep his bacon from getting fried, but in the process winds up running an incredibly hilarious gauntlet. The often profane but imaginative dialogue is as memorable as the diverse characters are crazy. These are the most grown-up urchins that you will ever see in a mainstream movie. Mind you, this is neither the kind of movie that you should take a child to see nor is it the kind you should watch if you like to sympathize with the protagonist. Aside from our Noah's mother and one of his college friends, virtually every character in "The Sitter" is fairly obnoxious. Our hero is the kind of guy who is not entirely trustworthy but he owns up to his mistakes and "The Sitter" ends on a positive note.

FILM REVIEW OF "THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART ONE"

Superior sequels develop the plot of their predecessors rather than simply imitate them. "Gods and Monsters" director Bill Condon and "Twilight" scenarist Melissa Rosenberg have taken producer Stephenie Meyer's fourth novel "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" and raised the stakes as well as the rivalry. The rivalry here is not confined to just Edward and Jacob, but rather Jacob and his tribe. Mind you, if you've read the novels, you're in better shape to understand the storyline. Anybody walking into "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part One," however, may find themselves overwhelmed by a surplus of plot which is only comprehensible if they've seen the previous three outings. This holds true particularly for people who find vampire movies irresistible. Ostensibly, Meyers has rewritten the rules that govern conventional vampire conduct to the point that the "Twilight" movies emerge as vampire epics in name only. In "Breaking Dawn, Part One," vampires swim in streams as well as oceans. They can procreate like humans and sire offspring. They can cavort about in the daylight without any deleterious effects to their dermatology. They can admire their immortal beauty in a mirror. They even keep a cross in their house! Although their mortal enemies the werewolves can shape-shift from Native Americans to wolves, Meyer's vampires cannot convert themselves into either bats or wolves like Bela Lugosi's Count Dracula and his kind. Meyer's vampires can read minds, foresee the future, and race hither and yon in a flash, but they remain pretty much grounded. At one point in "Breaking Dawn," the vampires must run a gauntlet of werewolves so that they can feed, and the fleet-footed wolves make it nip and tuck the whole way. You'd think Edward and the Cullen clan would scale the trees and hurdle from one to the next, but then the werewolves wouldn't pose much of a problem? All nitpicking aside, "Breaking Dawn" is just as entertaining as "Twilight," "New Moon," and "Eclipse." Indeed, the characters continue to grow. Personally, I still prefer "Eclipse," because the villainous Victoria finally bit the dust. Mind you, "Breaking Dawn" is still splendid stuff with surprises galore for anybody who has enjoyed the franchise.

"Breaking Dawn, Part One" (**** out of ****) is just what "Twilight" fans have been dying for from the start. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson of "Water for Elephants") and Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart of "Adventureland") finally tie the knot. They exchange vows in the woods surrounded by their friends and family. Unlike some franchises which whittle down the number of characters reprising their roles, the "Twilight" sagas keep bringing the principals as well as the peripherals back. Unfortunately, the lesser Cullens, who had bigger scenes in "Eclipse," merge with the background this time. The same is true for Bella's high school peers who show up for the beautiful wedding in the woods. Happily, the character of Jane who is a member of the Volturi, played by Dakota Fanning, doesn’t make appearance in this entry. Sadly, she will be back in the finale. The action unfolds with an angry and obviously jealous Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner of "Abduction") charging off into the wilderness to change into a werewolf when he receives his wedding invitation. Remember, the werewolves here look like overgrown wolves, not the genuinely ghastly creatures in the "Underworld" franchise. Meanwhile, Bella struggles to maintain her equilibrium in high heels as Alice (Ashley Greene of "Skateland") chides her about getting enough beauty sleep. No sooner have they wed than our couple caper off to Brazil and then Edward takes Bella for a boat ride to a gorgeous private island paradise that Dr. Carlisle Cullen has given to them as a wedding present. Talk about wish fulfillment! Edward's fangs are so pointy by this time that he literally tears the bed apart on their wedding night. Afterward, they play several games of chess until Bella gets the hang of it and defeats him. Meantime, Edward isn't proud of himself. Bella bears the bruises of his love tussling,but she isn't complaining. While Edward is away on the mainland assuaging his appetite for animal blood, our heroine finds it difficult to keep down her own. Oh, no, not morning sickness! This improbable turn of events surprises even Edward. Bella gets sick, and Edward flies her back to Forks so Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli of "Can't Hardly Wait") can examine her. At the same time, Bella’s father Sheriff Charlie Swan (Billy Burke of “Drive Angry”) is worried about her, too. As it turns out, Carlisle has no solution, and the fetus is growing at such an alarming pace that it drains the life out of Bella.

Clocking in at 117 minutes, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part One" spends the first hour getting the action underway with the wedding and then the comic honeymoon antics before Condon and Rosenberg take things to the dark side. The special effects that shrink poor Bella until she resembles a Nazi death camp inmate are truly groundbreaking. Nothing about the way that she deteriorates looks spurious. Since the "Twilight" saga is rated PG-13, the honeymoon and the battle with the werewolves isn't as horrific as it might have been in an R-rated opus. The werewolves look a little more believable, and they even get to drool saliva. Keep in mind, the "Twilight" franchise is a romantic fantasy so gravity rarely interferes with these shenanigans. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart still qualify as a sympathetic Romeo and Juliet couple, but the real surprise of "Breaking Dawn" is Taylor Lautner who brings more gravitas to his role than in previous "Twilights" or the abysmal "Abduction" that he starred in earlier this year. Of course, Jacob came to Bella's aid in "Eclipse" when he wasn't competing with Edward for her affection. Jacob's character assumes greater significance in "Breaking Dawn." The fourth entry in the "Twilight" franchise packs a wallop, particularly near the end. True "Twilight" fans shouldn't bolt when the end credits roll because more comes after the end credits with the evil Volturi savoring the final moments.

FILM REVIEW OF ''TOWER HEIST'' (2011)

The Ben Stiller & Eddie Murphy thriller “Tower Heist” (**1/2 out of ****) amounts to an entertaining but harebrained morality play about a gang of amateur thieves. Mind you, “Rush Hour” director Brett Ratner’s ninth film is a splendid example of contemporary class rivalry; responsible working class city dwellers tangle with a ruthless irresponsible millionaire who uses the system to shield himself. This shallow often silly snapshot of our times makes it plain that the have-nots want everything that they can haul off from the haves. Although Ratner and “Ocean’s Eleven” scenarist Ted Griffin & “Rush Hour 2” scribe Jeff Nathanson have contrived an innocuous, occasionally suspenseful caper with a few surprises, the overall result remains is bland and colorless. Sometimes, the filmmakers contradict themselves with psychic FBI agents who are easily fooled by the most obvious prank. Happily, despite its clumsy narrative lurches, “Tower Heist” doesn’t wear out its welcome. Ratner and company have done a good job of establishing the characters and setting up the heist. At one point, Casey Affleck concisely summarizes the predicament that they find themselves in and the gauntlet of obstacles that they must negotiate. Stealing what they wind up stealing turns out to be no picnic for our intrepid heroes. In some ways, “Tower Heist” is reminiscent of last summer’s hit comedy “Horrible Bosses” where amateur murderers sought advice from a professional hit man. The heist that our heroes plan during the Thanksgiving Day Parade under everybody’s noses recalls a similarly audacious crime committed in New York City during Labor Day in director Sidney Lumet’s “The Anderson Tapes” (1971) with Sean Connery. Meantime, the production values of “Tower Heist,” itself budgeted at a hefty $75 million, are impeccable. “Heat” lenser Dante Spinotti’s dazzling cinematography makes Ratner’s Manhattan based melodrama a feast for the eyes. The opening aerial shot atop a skyscraper looking down at Benjamin Franklin’s face on a $100 dollar bill at the bottom of a huge swimming pool is something to remember! Incidentally, the actual edifice itself is The Trump International Hotel & Tower overlooking Central Park.

Hardworking Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller of “Meet the Parents”) serves as the general manager of the Tower where he reigns as the top gofer who ensures that all his residents enjoy the best of everything. The owner of the Tower, Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda of TV’s “M.A.S.H.”) , is an investment mogul who attended the same public school that Josh attended in Astoria. Josh and Shaw play chess on a regular basis with Shaw teaching him about the minutiae of the game. During the opening moments, Ratner provides us with a tour of the Tower and some of its notable workers and residents. We meet Josh as well as the adored doorman Lester (Stephen Henderson of “Everyday People”), the harried concierge Charlie (Casey Affleck of “Drowning Mona”), Josh’s immediate superior Mr. Simon (Judd Hirsh of “Independence Day”), new elevator operator Enrique (Michael Peña of “Shooter”) and a destitute stockholder, Mr. Fitzhugh (Matthew Broderick of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”), who Josh must evict. Aside from Mr. Fitzhugh, Josh keeps everything under control, until he learns the Feds have charged his old friend Shaw with securities fraud. Poor Lester tries to throw himself under a subway train because he has lost everything. An angry Josh storms into Shaw’s penthouse apartment and smashes Shaw’s most prized possession, a red Ferrari that Steve McQueen once drove. Later, Josh meets FBI Special Agent Claire Denham (Téa Leoni of “Bad Boys”) in a bar. She mentions that bigwigs like Shaw have a contingency safety net of millions to fall back on in case of a contingency. Josh assembles a motley crew of disgruntled employees who Shaw took to the cleaners, and they decide to ransack Shaw’s apartment for the loot. Josh enlists the aid of a former school mate, Slide (Eddie Murphy of “48 Hrs”), who knows something about committing crime. Predictably, nothing goes as planned, and our heroes find themselves in a real quandary when they discover where Shaw has stashed his money.

“Tower Heist” benefits from Alan Alda’s stellar performance as a slippery Bernie Madoff-style Wall Street villain. He steals a fortune from his gullible clients who have no clue that they’ve been defrauded. The supporting cast, including Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Stephen Henderson, Judd Hirsh, Gabourey Sidibe, Téa Leoni, and Michael Peña, has flawless timing. Michael Peña is particularly funny. The flaw in the ointment of “Tower Heist” is the incompatible casting of Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. These two are accomplished comedians but their comedic styles and rhythms clash. Indeed, Stiller makes a sympathetic protagonist who commits an unfortunate mistake which not only costs his employees but also himself their life savings. Essentially, Stiller is playing a variation of his “A Night in the Museum” hero. Meanwhile, a hammy Murphy chews the scenery. The former “Saturday Night Live” comic emphasizes caricature over character in a role that Martin Lawrence could easily have pulled off without the histrionic antics. Murphy acts like he is in a “Norbit” spin-off, while everybody else plays it straight and narrow. The best comics behave as if they don’t know that they are being hilarious. Inexplicably, the producers delay the integration of Murphy into the action for about 40 minutes. Meantime, “Tower Heist” suffers from a bad ending that punishes our hero, apparently for his good intentions. The villain’s utter treachery, however, sanctions the efforts of our woebegone heroes to recover their stolen money. Shrewdly, the filmmakers have confined the larceny strictly to the characters who the villain has duped. No innocent bystanders are caught up in the calamity, and nothing in the PG-13 rated “Tower Heist” comes off as offensive. As polished as “Tower Heist” appears, the plot stumbles through its paces after everything has been carefully set up during the opening forty-five minutes. Nothing about "Tower Heist" qualifies it as a towering heist caper.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE THREE MUSKETEERS"

 "Resident Evil" producer and director Paul W.S. Anderson should stick to making either science fiction horror chillers, like "Event Horizon" and "The Soldier," or brawny actioneers, like "Mortal Combat," and "Death Race." These genres thrive on larger-than-life characters performing heavy-handed histrionics in over-the-top situations. Gadgets and gimmicks proliferate in both genres, typically with the combatants defeating their enemy because they display greater competence with their weapons. Now, Anderson has ventured outside of his usual bailiwick with "The Three Musketeers." The immortal Alexander Dumas novel emphasized court intrigue, chivalrous romance, and colorful swordplay in a 17th century setting. Indeed, "The Three Musketeers" has been a favorite of filmmakers since the French produced the first cinematic version in 1903. Since that long lost classic appeared over a century ago, more than 30 remakes and various sequels have followed. Hollywood conjured up two unusual adaptations. First, Mascot Pictures released a serial in 1933 which cast ten-gallon hero John Wayne as a one of the three eponymous protagonists in the Arabian Desert as French Foreign Legionnaires. Second, Universal Studios shifted the storyline to the Texas-Mexican border for the short-lived 1960s’ western television series "Laredo" which swapped six-guns for swords, but captured the essence of the Musketeers' tongue-in-cheek shenanigans. Anderson and scenarists Alex Litvak and Andrew Davies have tried to update “The Three Musketeers” (** OUT OF ****) for contemporary audiences by adding anachronistic elements which are often found in steampunk science fiction and fantasy. Instead, had Anderson imitated the latest literary trend that Quirk Books launched with Seth Grahame-Smith in 2009 in his parody of Jane Austin’s “Pride and Prejudice” entitled “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” he might have fared better.

“The Three Musketeers” boasts an opening gambit which is half James Bond and half “Resident Evil.” Athos (Matthew Macfadyen of “Robin Hood”), Porthos (Ray Stevenson of “Punisher: War Games”), and Aramis (Luke Evans of “Blitz”) are on a secret mission in Venice, Italy, accompanied by Athos’ girlfriend Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich of “Ultraviolet”) to steal Leonardo da Vinci’s plans for an airborne galleon. They have to filch three keys to break into a well-guarded vault that houses the blueprints, and it amounts to an impossible mission. Nevertheless, they pull off the impossible, only to have the treacherous Milady double-cross them with drugged drinks. She hands the plans over to their English enemy, the obnoxious Duke of Buckingham (Orlando Bloom of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy”), and Buckingham and Milady leave our heroes passed out of the floor. A year elapses, and young D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman of “The Butterfly Effect”) rides to Paris with the blessings of his parents, one a former Musketeer, to join the elite King’s guard. During the journey, he encounters the evil Captain Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen of “Casino Royale”), the chief of Cardinal Richelieu's guard. Rochefort insults D'Artagnan’s horse Buttercup, and our hero challenges the best swordsman in Europe to a swordfight. Instead, Rochefort whips out pistols, and D'Artagnan avoids death narrowly because the guns misfire. Miraculously, Milady intercedes for D'Artagnan since she thinks he is handsome.

Once he arrives in Paris, the tenacious D'Artagnan pursues Rochefort. During his pursuit, he encounters Athos, Porthos, and Aramis separately and each challenge him to a duel. Eventually, when they meet to clash swords, forty of Richelieu's guards interrupt them. Athos, Porthos, and Aramis join D'Artagnan, and they whip the guards. Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz of “Inglourious Basterds”) insists that young King Louis XIII (Freddie Fox of “St Trinian's II: The Legend of Fritton's Gold”) discipline them for their behavior. Louis XIII sends them on their way with little more than a verbal reprimand. Like Milady, Louis feels sympathetic to D'Artagnan. Later, in an effort to humiliate Buckingham and force Louis XIII to have his wife, Queen Anne (Juno Temple), executed for cuckolding him with Lord Buckingham, Richelieu has Milady steal diamond necklace and hide it in the Tower of London. D'Artagnan and the Musketeers make it their business to steal back the diamonds.

The best "Musketeer" movies have been frivolous, light-hearted swashbucklers with nimble swordplay and charismatic characters. “A Hard Day’s Night” director Richard Lester made the most memorable remake that emerged as two films “The Three Musketeers” (1973) and “The Four Musketeers” (1974). Although Anderson's take on the chivalrous Dumas tale qualifies as ambitious with impressive costumes and production values, the overall treatment is nevertheless uneven and ultimately uninspired. Anderson lacks the light touch and helms this period outing with a heavy hand. In a misguided effort to revitalize this venerable yarn of derring-do for contemporary audiences, he has resorted to outlandish gadgets such as scuba gear, complex vaults, and airborne galleons. Basically, Anderson seems to be imitating swashbucklers like Terry Gilliam's "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen" (1988) and Mathew Vaughn's "Stardust" (2007). Meantime, he has forsaken the essence of any good "Musketeer" movie, the camaraderie among Athos, Aramis, Porthos, and D'Artagnan.

Mind you, Anderson's "Three Musketeers" doesn't qualify as a complete fiasco. This $90-million international production is a triumph of Pierre-Yves Gayraud's extravagant costumes and Paul Denham Austerberry's sophisticated production designs. Although Anderson filmed this epic on location in Germany, the sprawling Castle Herrenchiemsee in Bavaria stands in splendidly for the actual Palace of Versailles. If showy costumes, production values, and a handsome cast constituted a good movie, then this "Three Musketeers" would qualify as a stunner. Unfortunately, this is simply not the case. Sadly, nothing about the use of 3-D distinguishes "Rambo" lenser Glen MacPherson's impeccable widescreen cinematography. Meantime, Anderson must have been tugged in two directions by his writers who were as different as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Alex Litvak, who penned the horror opus "Predators," and Andrew Davies, who wrote the two chick flick "Brigit Jones" romancers, seem to alternate between a diamond heist and sword fighting without any time out for romantic interludes. The chief differences between this “Three Musketeers” and previous remakes is the use of airships to accelerate the momentum of the plot. Whereas our heroes galloped on horseback in the earlier epics, Anderson and his scenarists rely on gimmicks to speed up the action. Anderson doesn’t have a clue about how to wield comedy and all the jokes and pranks fall flat, particularly with Planchet who serves as the butt of the humor. Matters aren't helped that the actors cast as the leads. They are hopelessly overshadowed by a stronger supporting cast, principally Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen, and Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz who are better known to audiences. “The Three Musketeers” never generates the zest that either the silent Douglas Fairbanks’ classic or the famous Richard Lester version with Michael York, Richard Chamberlain, and Oliver Reed had. Altogether, “The Three Musketeers” buckles because it doesn’t swash!

FILM REVIEW OF ''BEVERLY HILLS COP 3" (1994)

This uninspired sequel about a counterfeit ring operating in a Walt Disney look-alike amusement park qualifies as the least entertaining entry in the "Beverly Hills Cop" franchise. After producing "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Beverly Hills Cop 2," Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer had nothing to do with this pathetic Paramount release that unimaginatively drags Detroit Detective Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy of "48 HRS") back to California for the third time. You can tell when a franchise has run
out of momentum because it starts knocking off its own characters. Further, neither Taggart (John Ashton of the first two "Beverly Hills Cop" movies) nor Capt. Bogamill (Ronny Cox of the first two Beverly Hills Cop" movies) return. Nothing is ever said about Bogamill's absence, but we're told that Taggart has retired. (Actually, in the Special Features on the DVD release, a producer mentions that John Austin was not available so his character had to be replaced.) Nevertheless, nobody replaces Captain Bogamill, but franchise newcomer Hector Elizondo appears as John Ashton's replacement. Let's not forget Paul Reiser's character Detective Jeffrey Friedman who is conspicuous by his absence. Not even witty Bronson Pinchot can rekindle the magic with his English-language challenged foreigner, Serge, who no longer works at an art gallery, has concocted what he refers to as a firearms boutique.

Sadly, this is one sequel that shouldn't have been made. Although the stunt work is exemplary in the Spider Ride park scene, the recurring firefights between our hero and the trigger happy villains conjure up neither suspense nor tension. "Beverly Hills Cop 3" (*1/2 out of ****) recycles one of the most deplorable movie clichés. Specifically, the well-armed villains cannot hit the side of a barn with their machine guns. Axel's one-liners and the dialogue are both forgettable. Murphy doesn't field many laughs and looks pretty idiotic wandering around in an elephant costume. In all fairness to the filmmakers, at least they did not have another foreign villain with a heavy accent like they had in the first two entries.

"Animal House" helmer John Landis doesn't let the derivative action bog down in complications, but the contrived Steven E. de Souza screenplay yields few surprises. Axel doesn't suffer any setbacks on the scale that he did in the first two outings. Simply said, Landis and Souza develop few things that haven't done before with greater polish. It is interesting to note the change in settings where Axel is concerned during his time off. In "Beverly Hills Cop," he stayed in the Beverly Palms. In the sequel, he hung out at an plush house with a pool. In "Beverly Hills Cop 3," he has a room at the Sunset Motel. The only exciting scene occurs early in the action when the bad guys riddle the sports car that Axel appropriates when he chases them through the streets. The multitude of bullets that the ruffians pour into Axel's car wind up dismantling it piecemeal until it falls apart. Director John Bonito would borrow this gag for his 2006 thriller "The Marine" with wrestling sensation John Cena. Worse, Axel seems to have lost his ability to clown around with everybody as he did in the first two. Murphy grins a lot but nothing he does boasts a glimmer of spontaneity. Meanwhile, this abysmal second sequel looks like utter hack work.

Meanwhile "Innocent Blood" lenser Mac Ahlberg doesn't make the shoot'em up scenes look cool like they were in the original and the first sequel. Despite the profane language, this ignominious R-rated crime thriller qualifies as a by-the-numbers, cookie cutter actioneer. Clearly, the franchise had lost its agility by this time that Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer had shed themselves of it, and nothing Murphy does resuscitates it. While he is investigating the chief villain, Ellis De Wald (Timothy Carhart of "Thelma & Louise"), Axel flirts with Janice (Theresa Randle of "Junge Fever") who works for everybody's favorite uncle, Uncle Dave Thornton (Alan Young of TV's "Mr. Ed") who cannot figure out what is happening in his theme park.

"Beverly Hills Cop 3" resembles the original only in the narrative respect that our protagonist leaves Detroit and heads back to Beverly Hills to arrest the cold-blooded murderer that shot his boss, Inspector Douglas Todd (Gilbert R. Hill of "Beverly Hills Cop"), three times during a Tuesday morning raid on an auto chop-shop in the Motor City. (Incidentally, there is a flaw here because when Axel confronts Ellis DeWald in Wonder World, he accuses DeWald of shooting Todd on a weekend.)The complication here is that Axel goes into the operation with the idea that the mechanics won't be armed with machine guns, so he doesn't summon S.W.A.T. for back-up. While Axel is justifying his decision to Todd, De Wald and his machine gun wielding gunmen shoot up the garage, killing all the chop shop personnel so De Wald can get a Ford delivery van filled with U.S. Government stamped boxes. Once Axel enters Wonder World, the film degenerates into claustrophobic mediocrity. The scene when Axel brandishes the Annihilator 2000 gun is one of the worst. Of course, our hero cannot get the elaborate firearm with a CD-player and other gadgets work properly when he faces down a couple of villains with machine guns. Timothy Carhart makes a smug enough villain, but he never really poses a real threat to Axel. Incidentally, Landis indulges himself by inserting Hollywood directors in cameos throughout his movies. If you look closely, you will spot George Lucas, John Singleton, Joe Dante, Barbet Schroeder, Peter Medak, Arthur Hiller, George Schaefer and Martha Coolidge in some of the scenes. Sadly, the third time is not the charm for either the "Beverly Hills Cop" franchise or Landis and Murphy who teamed up again after "Trading Places" and "Coming to America."

Eddie Murphy has gone on the record and called "Beverly Hills Cop 3" "ill-fated." What more do you need to know???

FILM REVIEW OF ''REAL STEEL" (2011)

The exuberant Hugh Jackson robotic slug-fest "Real Steel" (*** OUT OF ****) punches all the right buttons. Synthesize two classic boxing epics like "Rocky" (1976) and "The Champ" (1931), and you’ll have a fair idea what to expect from this feel-good, formulaic, PG-13 rated, fodder about an estranged father and son who rescue a robot from the scrap heap. "Real Steel" takes place in the near future when crowds prefer to watch colossal, cybernetic palookas pummel each other into spare parts. The concept that man can no longer participate in simulated violence via sports is a tantalizing prospect, but "Night at the Museum" director Shawn Levy doesn't preoccupy himself with such lofty ideas. Instead, he focuses primarily on a troubled father and son relationship. Meantime, Levy reminds us that a better human always stands behind every good 20-foot metal behemoth in the ring. Inspired partially by the Marx Toy Company game ‘Rock'em Sock'em Robots’ marketed in 1964, "Coach Carter" scribe John Gatins also drew on "I Am Legend" sci-fi author Richard Matheson’s 1956 short story "Steel." Mind you, this isn’t the first time Matheson’s tale has been adapted. Lee Marvin played the boxing robot’s owner in an episode of Rod Serling's landmark television series "The Twilight Zone." In Matheson’s tale as well as the “Twilight Zone” episode, the robot’s manager had no son, and he masqueraded as the robot after it malfunctioned before the match. Consequently, Levy and his scenarists have made some major changes. Nevertheless, the charisma of the “Real Steel” cast stokes this tearjerker with so much sentiment that you’ll shadow box with our hero and tear up as father and son bond. What makes this reversal of character so dramatic is the change that sweeps over our repellent hero and makes him sympathetic.

Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman of “Swordfish”) is a washed-up pugilist who is his own worst enemy. He owes gambling debts to more people than he can remember. Charlie makes bets that he cannot cover with his robot named ‘Ambush’ because he believes “Ambush” will triumph. Naturally, Charlie has to dodge obnoxious louts, especially Ricky (Kevin Durand of “Legion”), a shady promoter, who lures our hero to a rural country fair. Charlie pits ‘Ambush’ against Ricky’s prize bull Black Thunder. Imagine Charlie’s incredulity when Black Thunder pulverizes ‘Ambush.’ Not only is Charlie out of a bot, but also he owes Ricky $20-thousand that he doesn’t have. If things weren’t appalling enough for him, Charlie must contend with another problem in the person of his 11-year old son Max (Dakota Goyo of “Thor”), who he walked out on when he split from his wife. Max lives to play video games and chug Dr. Pepper. Yes, “Real Steel” features some of the most blatant product placement in a long time. Irresponsible as Charlie is, the former heavyweight is prepared to sign away custody of Max to the latter’s Aunt Debra (Hope Davis of “Arlington Road”) and Uncle Marvin (James Rebhorn of “Independence Day”), but only for a price. Charlie negotiates with Marvin for $100-thousand, with half of the loot up front. The catch is Charlie must take care of Max for three months, while Marvin and Debra enjoy a second honeymoon.

Initially, neither Charlie nor Max has much use for each other. Charlie squanders Marvin’s cash on a second-hand World Robot Boxing league automaton, ‘Noisy Boy,’ who predictably gets the robotics beaten out of him by another bot called ‘Midas.’ Charlie tucks his tail between his legs along with the ‘Noisy Boy’s’ remains, and Max and he slink away. Later, they sneak into a robot junkyard which Charlie plans to plunder for anything worthwhile. During their search, Max literally stumbles upon a Generation 2 robot named Atom that saves his life when the youth stumbles off a ledge. Reluctantly, Charlie helps Max unearth what is nothing more than a sparring robot. Actually, this bot bears an amazing resemblance to “Star Wars” bots on planet Tatooine. Our protagonists cannibalize ‘Noisy Boy’ and convert the scrap-heap android into a contender. Actually, Atom emerges as a “Rocky” type because it can absorb as much punishment as a sadomasochistic maniac. After Atom wins several bouts that nobody thought it would survive, Max challenges the WRB’s undefeated champ Zeus. This sinister black android is the property of a wealthy Russian babe, Farra Lemkova (Olga Fonda of “Little Fockers”), and an arrogant Japanese designer, Tak Mashido (Karl Yune of “Freezerburn”), who abhor having terms dictated to them. Initially, they ignore Max’s challenge, but pressure forces them to cave. During the big fight, Atom is battered so badly that our heroes cannot communicate with him, so they have to fall back on visual communication. Literally, Charlie must show the underdog bot when and where to land his blows for maximum impact.

The chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Dakota Goyo is so genuine that you believe they are father and son. Not since Mickey Rourke played a similar role in “The Wrestler” has a hero so risen from the depths of degeneracy. Basically, Charlie deserves everything rotten that wrecks his life until he meets Max. Indeed, the last thing our hard-bitten hero learns is that he is a sucker for his long lost son. Of course, anybody who has seen this kind of melodramatic nonsense knows that it is strictly formula from fade-in to fade-out: father finds son, father loses son, father wins son back. Atom brings these two together for a common cause, and they respect each other as equals while they struggle to make their bot the best. Surprisingly, the Generation 2 robot that they rebuild as they rebuild their own relationship never acquires sentience. In one scene, Atom seems to recognize itself as it gazes into a mirror, but Levy does nothing with this subplot. Meantime, he undercuts the romance between Evangeline Lilly and Jackman because "Real Steel" concentrates on Charlie, Max, and Atom. Kevin Durand stands out as the villainous Rick who eventually gets his comeuppance. “Real Steel” will keep you rooting throughout its exhilarating 127 minutes.