FILM REVIEW OF "TRANSIT" (2012)

“Seconds Apart” director Antonio Negret generates some genuine adrenaline-driven thrills, chills, and spills in his second feature length release. The rural crime thriller “Transit” (**1/2 OUT OF ****) qualifies as a tense road picture about four murderous thieves who tangle with an innocent family in backwater Louisiana over a fortune in stolen loot. The only shortcoming of this above-average but formulaic melodrama is its lackluster ending that deprives the protagonist of any reward for his heroic deeds. Fortunately, the cast is convincing, particularly Jim Caviezel as the devastated dad and James Frain as the desperate dastard. Of course, the authorities are clueless about what is happening between the heroes and the villains. Ironically, the law only complicates the situation and imperil our hero and his family. Frain looks particularly degenerate as the sleazy gang leader, while Harold Perrineau works up a lather as a trigger-happy henchman. “According to Greta” scenarist Michael Gilvary has cross-stitched the plots from the Dana Andrews’ epic “Hot Rods to Hell” (1967) and the Audrey Hepburn nail-biter “Wait Until Dark.” In ‘Hot Rods to Hell,” rebellious teens terrorized a family on a deserted stretch of highway. In “Wait Until Dark,” a deadly drug dealer stashed his narcotics in the blind heroine’s luggage for a transoceanic flight and the villains invaded her New York City apartment afterward to retrieve it. “Transit” received an R-rating for violence and terror, profane language and brief teen drug use in marijuana.

“Transit” opens with an armored car robbery. Indeed, it is an inside job, but the traitor doesn’t get a share of the loot. Instead, he takes a bullet. Afterward, the quartet of armored car robbers needs to figure out a way to get past a police roadblock without getting caught. They replace the camping gear strapped down atop of the Sidwell family SUV with their ill-gotten gains. Initially, the family has no clue about the villains have done. Marek (James Frain of “Titus”), Arielle (Diora Baird of “Wedding Crashers”), Losada (Harold Perrineau of “The Matrix Revolutions”), and Evers (Ryan Donowho of “Broken Flowers”) have fooled themselves into believing that they can retrieve their loot from the unsuspecting family before they realize that they’re  being used as a mule. Predictably, nothing goes as planned for either side, and those are the best dramatic moments. The conflict emerges from the situation. Our hero Nate (Jim Caviezel of “Outlander”) has just been paroled from prison. He served 18 months in a Federal Prison for real estate fraud. Now, poor Nate is struggling to get his wife Robyn (Elisabeth Röhm of “Abduction”) and his two sons together for a vacation when they run afoul of the bad guys. Some of the action will take you by surprise. Neither Negret nor Gilvary make it easy for either the heroes or their adversaries to achieve their respective objectives. No sooner do the villains have the loot than they lose it. Not long after the hero appropriates the millions, he loses it in the swamp. Could a suspicious looking fellow riding around the swamp in a boat have anything to do with the missing loot? If this weren’t enough, the hero’s wife mistakenly believes that Nate is involved with the villains.

The black 1972 Chevrolet Chevelle that the villains drive assumes a character of its own, and the long shots of it hauling down the highway look as cool as the spinning tire shots. Negret handles the chase sequences with aplomb. The car crash involving the Deputy Sheriff's Crown Victoria is pretty awesome. While nothing about this cat and mouse thriller is remotely original, the action is swiftly paced, and the acting is sturdy. Jim Caviezel turns in a good performance as the harried head of the family. No, he doesn’t get escape from this close encounter without sacrificing some flesh. Most of the action was lensed on location around Praireville, Louisiana. Clocking in at 88 minutes, “Transit” doesn’t wear out its welcome.

FILM REVIEW OF "HERCULES AND THE MASKED RIDER" (ITALIAN-1963)

"Giant of Evil Island" director Piero Pierotti's "Hercules and the Masked Rider" (** OUT OF ****) is another of those cheaply produced but entertaining Italian peplums that take place outside the standard Greek or Roman setting of the ancient world. Mind you, when American International released this 86-minute Eastman color epic, the hero was named Goliath. Impeccable Italian body-builder Sergio Ciani portrays Hercules with his usual gusto. Presumably, the studio altered the title because Anglo-Saxon audiences remember Goliath as a villain rather than a hero based on his infamous Biblical exploits. Specifically, this adventure occurs in Medieval Spain with our hero passing through town with a gang
of gypsies. The eponymous "Masked Rider" is none other than a Zorro knock-off sporting a scarlet mask! Appropriately enough, Don Juan is a frustrated suitor who joins a renegade band of gypsies to break-up an impending marriage between chief villain Don Ramiro and his bride. Of course, things are complicated because Don Juan and the bride are distant relatives. They don't let these problematical genetics befuddle their thinking. Meanwhile, Pierotti and scenarists Arpad DeRiso, Ernesto Gastaldi, and Luciano Martino knew what they were doing when they cross-bred genres to make "Hercules and the Masked Rider." Aside from the usual production values that we've come to expect from peplums, "Hercules and the Masked Rider" benefits from a charismatic orchestral soundtrack by the dynamic Angelo Francesco Lavagnino who scored the John Wayne adventure "Legend of the Lost," the Gordon Scott peplum "Goliath and the Vampires," and Sergio Leone's "The Colossus of Rhodes."

The action opens with Don Ramiro's army of soldiers on horseback pursuing farmers. They are fleeing from his land because he has been selling them off for service to the king to help fight a war in Flanders. Don Ramiro (Arturo Dominici of "Conquest of Mycene") and Captain Blasco (Ettore Manni of "Chino") are fiercely chasing a pair of newlyweds, Felipe (Piero Leri of "The Condemned of Altona") and his wife Dolores (Dina De Santis of "Romulus and the Sabines"), before they cross a river onto the Valverdate estate of Don Francisco (Renato Navarrini of "The Son of Hercules vs. Venus"), but they don't stop them in time. Moreover, Don Francisco forbids Don Ramiro to cross over and capture them. During this exodus, we see Hercules (Alan Steel) wield a mean quarter staff as he topples several of Don Ramiro's ruffians. Anyway, Don Francisco detests Don Ramiro, but he realizes that the latter has an army assembled. Don Ramiro relinquishes any claim to Felipe and Dolores when Don Francisco's beautiful daughter Dona Blanca (José Greci of "Goliath and the Sins of Babylon") rides up. Don Ramiro gives the newlyweds to Blanca as an admirer. Although they don't an adequate job of explaining this complication, Pierroti and his writers have Don Francisco promise Blanca to Don Ramiro to prevent bloodshed between their families.

When gallant Don Juan (Mimmo Palmara of "Johnny West") returns alone from fighting in the war, he is surprised to learn about his uncle's new marriage plans for Blanco. Incidentally, Blanco had promised to marry him before he left for war a year ago. Don Francisco banishes Don Juan after our hero learns Blanco didn't betray him. Gypsies ambush Juan after he leaves Don Francisco's estate. The leader of the gypsies, Estella, pits Juan in a knife fight against Hercules. The two adversaries battle to a stand-off. Estella befriends Juan, and he joins Hercules and the gypsies. Meanwhile, Ramiro arrives at Don Francisco's and skewers him in a duel. Later, Juan learns from Estrella at her gypsy camp that Don Ramiro has killed Don Francisco and is holding Dona Blanca. Juan convinces Estrella (Pilar Cansino of "Revolt of the Mercenaries"), to help Dona Blanca. Estrella helps Juan because she suspects Ramiro killed her husband. During a festive celebration, Estella, Hercules, and the gypsies enter Don Ramiro's estate to perform. Before Estella's fateful dance, Ramiro pays her to put a spell on Blanca. Estella relieves Blanca about her fears about Juan. During the dance, Estella and her gypsies nearly kill Ramiro in a ceremony when they hurl knives into the air. Blasco rescues Estella from Ramiro's torturous rack. It seems Blasco saved Ramiro's life so Ramiro spares Estella. Ramiro demands Blasco capture the "misbegotten cavalier with a mask." Ramiro warns Blasco he plans to hang Estella if he doesn't bring back the Masked Rider. Of course, Juan and Blasco team up to defeat Ramiro. Nevertheless, Juan winds up putting his head into the noose before he has a showdown on a balcony with Ramiro in a sword fight to the death!

An unusual cross-fertilization of genres, "Hercules and the Masked Rider" isn't the only example of this kind of hybrid storytelling. "The Witch's Curse" transported its peplum hero to another distant time setting. The casual negligence with which Pierotti and his scenarists treat these legendary genre characters by loosing them from the confines of their separate time periods so they can collaborate is as imaginative as it is contrived. Juan appears as Zorro three times and carves a scar in Ramiro's face during their first encounter. Meantime, DeRiso was no stranger to peplums. He wrote several other Hercules epics, including "Hercules Against the Moon Men," "Hercules Against Rome," and "Hercules and the Black Pirate." He wrote "Giant of Evil Island" for Pierotti, too. An uncredited Ernesto Gastaldi contributed to the screenplay; he specialized in Giallo murder mysteries and Spaghetti westerns like "My Name is Nobody" and "The Price of Power." Luciano wrote at least three peplums, "Goliath at the Conquest of Damascus," "Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon" and "Hercules Against the Barbarians."

Altogether, "Hercules and the Masked Rider" isn't as good as either a conventional stand-alone "Hercules" or "Zorro" movie. Pierotti keeps the action moving ahead so the film doesn't bog down in its own complications. Hercules is constantly outnumbered but triumphant. Nonetheless, a competent cast, scenic surroundings, and an energetic musical score cannot compensate for the predictable script with its shortage of surprises.

FILM REVIEW OF ''TED'' (2012)

The crude but clever Mark Wahlberg comedy “Ted” (*** out of ****) resembles something you’d expect from Adam Sandler. Cretinous heroes, gross out humor, wanton drug abuse, and offensive profanity constitute the primary elements of this witty satire. Indeed, this far-fetched, off-beat, politically incorrect farce is the last thing you would expect from a mainstream actor who specializes in straightforward action thrillers. While it doesn’t qualify as the kind of movie Wahlberg typically makes, “Ted” is precisely what you might expect from cheeky “Family Guy” creator Sean MacFarlane who penned the outrageous script with “Family Guy” co-scribes Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. This amusing but brazen, 115-minute nonsense veers from bromance to romance with our hero caught between his pot-smoking, potty-mouthed teddy bear and his drop-dead gorgeous brunette girlfriend. Aside from its impudent title character, “Ted” doesn’t look like a run-of-the-mill summer movie with its $50-million budget about a walking, talking teddy who delivers the best lines. Not only do Wahlberg and Mila Kunis hold their own against the cuddly CGI hero, but also this unusual threesome generates tangible charisma. Wahlberg and Kunis make their relationship with the eponymous character appear believable even though we know they were not interacting spontaneously with Ted as they do in the finished film. Moreover, MacFarlane and his writers keep things breezing along in this contentious relationship that generates suspense about whether our hero and heroine will survive as a couple. One thing is unmistakable; “Ted” has nothing comparable to compete with in the genre of supernatural characters. The closest thing to “Ted” might be the extraterrestrial comedy “Paul” about an E.T. type alien who lands on Earth and befriends two British tourists in the American Southwest. Some critics have compared “Ted” to the Mel Gibson movie “The Beaver,” about a depressed, suicidal fellow who wears the puppet of a beaver on one arm and becomes its pawn.

 Basically, Wahlberg plays a physically grown-up but mentally immature adult who has put his life on hold to raise hell with his party-animal teddy bear. What sets “Ted” apart from other comedies is the unconditional love that a 35-year old loser shares with his childhood plush toy. Our hero leads a sheltered life as a youth in a town just outside of Boston. The neighborhood kids refused to play with John Bennett. When eight-year old John interrupts several kids in the middle of beating up a Jewish boy, all of them—including the victimized Jewish child—send him packing without a qualm. Since he had no friends, John makes a wish on Christmas Eve in 1985 that his teddy would be his best friend. Little does John know that when he made his wish that a falling star plunged from the night skies. Miraculously, John’s wish is granted, and the teddy bear talks to him the next morning. Overnight Ted turns into a national media sensation. At one point, he appears as a guest on the Johnny Carson late night talk show. Ted enjoys his fifteen minutes of fame before he resumes living life as usual with John. Eventually, John has reaches a turning point with his long suffering girlfriend, Lori Collins (Mila Kunis of “The Book of Eli”) who urges John to kick Ted out so they can have a life alone. Evicting Ted proves to be  virtually impossible for our hero. Surprisingly, Ted makes the transition from staying with John to landing a job in a supermarket as a check-out clerk and getting an apartment of his own. Nevertheless, although he has given Ted the boot, poor John cannot resist Ted’s invitation to visit him daily. Everything isn’t fun and games for Ted and company when a creepy admirer, Donnie (Giovanni Ribisi of “Contraband”) and his weird son Robert (Aedin Mincks of “Faster”) show up and try to buy him for John. These two characters are obnoxious and their appearance ushers in a grim and unsavory air of reality to the action.

Rookie writer and director Seth MacFarlane has forged the funniest cinematic character in a long time with the wise-cracking, title character. Ted looks cute, but he is rude, crude, and lewd. He curses like a sailor, smokes a bong like a chimney, and likes to date prostitutes. “Ted” qualifies as an unforgettably funny, live-action/CG-animated comedy. Happily, the “Ted” character is seamlessly integrated into the action, and his shenanigans are consistently hilarious. Whether he is driving his best friend to work with extensions so his short legs can reach the brake and the gas pedals or performing T.J. Hooker leaps from the rear of a station wagon to the hood of our heroine’s car, Ted looks as life-like as a CGI character can. The motel room fistfight that he has with John where he pummels him into submission and his amorous stockroom assignation with a sexy cashier emphasizes Ted’s rowdy as well as randy antics.

While teddy bears have been fodder for children’s movies over the years, “Ted” is nothing like “Winnie the Pooh.” When MacFarlane isn’t having fun with Ted and company, he appropriates a cult science fiction film and integrates it as an essential element of this whacky fantasy. Ted and John grew up watching the movie “Flash Gordon” (1980) with Sam J. Jones and have enshrined it. However, MacFarlane isn’t content merely to insert excerpts from the film. Since both Ted and John worship Sam J. Jones, the “Flash Gordon” star winds up making a cameo for two rip-roaring scenes. MacFarlane borrows a mocking scene or two from the spoof masterpiece “Airplane” when our hero meets the heroine on the dance floor of a 2008 disco and mimics the movements of John Travolta’s “Saturday Night Fever” romance. Patrick Warburton of the “Rules of Engagement” television series and “Green Lantern” lead Ryan Reynolds have a scene where they play two gay guys who kiss. 

“Ted” is never tedious.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN" (2012)

Sony Pictures has ignored the old adage: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  Five years ago, the studio canceled the fourth installment in the Toby Maguire “Spider-Man” franchise with original director Sam Raimi at the helm. Sony cited escalating production costs as the reason for abandoning the series. Now, not only has Sony rebooted “Spider-man” with a new director and a different pair of leads, but the studio also has retooled the action with an alternate love interest and darker screenplay. You could call this reboot “The Dark Spider Arises” because the filmmakers seem to be channeling the Christian Bale “Batman” movies with their solemn narrative elements. Unfortunately, “The Amazing Spider-Man” (*** out of ****) isn’t as amazing as the original “Spider-Man.” “500 Days of Summer” director Marc Webb struggles with a lackluster villain straight out of a cheesy B-movie chiller as well as a drawn-out running time. Chiefly, the villain sucks because he lacks the nefarious intellectual attitude that The Green Goblin" boasted in the first film.  Moreover, Green Goblin spouted better dialogue and armed himself with more weapons that the green predator in this remake/sequel. “The Amazing Spider-Man” clocks in at two hours and sixteen minutes and runs out of steam during the final quarter-hour as Webb wraps up the loose ends. If you are prone to scrambling out of your theater to beat everybody else to the exit as the end credits start to roll, you should resist the urge. Webb and his writers have attached an interesting scene between the villain and an accomplice that foreshadows the inevitable sequel. Just by the sound of the mysterious man's voice, you should be able to guess his identity.

“The Amazing Spider-Man” opens as Richard Parker (Campbell Scott of “Dying Young”) and his wife Mary (Embeth Davidtz of “Bicentennial Man”) drop their 4-year son Peter (Max Charles of “The Three Stooges”) off at Richard’s father’s house. This is the last time that young Peter will see his mom and dad alive. Later, Peter learns his parents perished in a fiery plane crash. Mind you, all we know about the Parkers’s demise comes from the newspaper story. They could be alive, but neither Peter nor we see them again on screen. Peter grows up with his congenial aunt and uncle and attends a high school where he is a whiz with a camera. One day, Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone of “Easy A”) catches Peter’s eye, and he snaps her picture. At the same time, the campus bully, Flash Thompson (Chris Zylka of “Shark Night 3D”), is humiliating another defenseless student. Flash demands that Peter take a picture. Peter refuses, and Flash beats him up. Later, Gwen tells Peter that she admired what he did when Flash took advantage of a smaller student. 

One day, Uncle Ben’s freezer springs a leak in the basement. Peter helps Ben salvage the contents. Quite by chance, Peter stumbles onto an old briefcase that once belonged to his father. Our protagonist finds a secret compartment within the briefcase. He discovers that his father worked at OsCorp, a genetic engineering laboratory, and had written top-secret formulas. Later, Peter masquerades as an intern and sneaks into OsCorp where he listens to Dr.Connors. Cross-species genetics obsesses the bespectacled doctor. During that visit, a spider bites Peter on the nape of his neck. Afterward, our hero finds himself performing some incredible acrobatics. Moreover, he is astonished that his hands have acquired a Velcro like tenacity that enables him to climb buildings and cling to ceilings. As it turns out, Peter's father collaborated with Connors. Poor Dr. Connors has devoted his life to restoring the forearm and hand that he no longer has. Peter gives one of his father’s equations and to Dr. Connors. Miraculously, Connors scores a breakthrough because of Peter's contribution. He is able to grow a leg on a lizard where an appendage was missing. Not long afterward, Peter’s uncle dies in a mugging, and Peter holds himself responsible because he didn’t listen to this uncle when he reprimanded him about responsibility. In the original film, Uncle Ben said, "Remember, with great power. comes great responsibility." Martin Sheen's Uncle Ben says basically the same line except he drags it out with more words. When word of mouth spreads that a monster is roaming the Big Apple, Spider-Man feels obliged to hunt it down. One of the best scenes takes place when Spider-Man has to rescue a small child from a vehicle dangling from a New York City bridge. 

Essentially, “The Losers” scenarist James Vanderbilt, original “Spider-Man 2” scripter Alvin Sargent, and “Harry Potter” scribe Steve Kloves have kept intact most of the best parts of the original. Dare they depart from the canon? Happily, they’ve have retained the radioactive spider bite scene, Peter’s clashes with Flash, and the web-slinging training sequences. Webb and his writers have made some interesting changes. Ostensibly, except for a single close-up on a stack of newspapers, they have omitted the Daily Bugle newspaper from the narrative. In other words, Peter Parker doesn’t work as a news photographer for the Daily Bugle as he did in the first “Spider-man” opus. This time around the filmmakers depict the murder of Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben in graphic detail. This tragic event occurred off-screen in the Maguire original. Further, they have made the heroic Peter Parker a lot smarter. He invents the web-slinger wristbands from existing technology whereas the webs shot out of his wrists organically in the original. 

Nevertheless, Webb and his writers have conjured a few surprises, particularly with Peter’s other romantic interest; Gwen Stacy has replaced Mary Jane Watson as his girlfriend. Mind you, their romance doesn’t have the sparks that Toby Maguire and Kirsten Durst created, especially in the memorable kissing scene when Spider-man hung upside down and Mary Jane had to peel back his mask to kiss him. Meanwhile, Peter contends with new antagonists both natural and supernatural. Peter’s natural enemy is Gwen’s father, a New York Police Department captain, who abhors vigilantes and insists that Spider-man should leave law enforcement up to the authorities. The supernatural villain is Dr. Curt Connors.  Actor Rhys Ifans’ maimed scientist villain is seamlessly mutated into a giant green lizard, but he lacks half of the ferocity of Maguire’s adversaries. The Green Goblin was a lively, audacious adversary, but The Lizard is rather dull. You wind up feeling sorry for Dr. Connors rather than hating him like The Green Goblin. The special effects are terrific as is the cinematography. Although he is 28 years old, British actor Andrew Garfield of "The Social Network" appears more believable as a skinny high school student than Toby Maguire. Martin Sheen is good as Uncle Ben, but he doesn’t overshadow the strong performance that Cliff Robertson delivered as Uncle Ben the first film. Sally Field is surprisingly good as Peter’s aunt.

As literate and nimble as it is, “The Amazing Spider-Man” qualifies as a good imitation of a classic movie.

FILM REVIEW OF ''ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER" (2012)

Rarely does the cinematic adaptation of a novel surpass its literary source. Happily, "Wanted" director Timur Bekmambetov's movie "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" proves the exception to the rule. Author Seth Grahame-Smith, who wrote the epistolary bestseller, also penned the imaginative screenplay. Incidentally, Grahame-Smith forged the monster-mash-up literary genre. In 2009, he spliced elements of a zombie story into a revised version of Jane Austin's classic masterpiece "Pride and Prejudice." The result was the "New York Times" bestseller "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." Afterward, he wrote "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" and added vampire slaying to Lincoln's list of accomplishments. Compared with Grahame-Smith's 2010 bestseller, the celluloid version of "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" (**** out of ****) is ten times better. Primarily, Bekmambetov's chiller dispenses with all the plodding biographical parts of Grahame-Smith's bestseller and pits the eponymous hero against a thoroughly evil chief villain. Anybody who has read the novel knows that the journal Lincoln kept about his efforts to eradicate fangsters is what prompts a 21st century writer into reassemble Lincoln's real life with his fantasy exploits. Meantime, Bekmambetov and Grahame-Smith adopt a serious approach to their bizarre subject matter. Nothing about the vampire hunting deeds of Lincoln is depicted with a wink and a nudge. If you saw director Tim Burton's abominably campy "Dark Shadows," neither Burton nor Grahame-Smith treated the venerable Gothic day-time soap opera with anything resembling either respect or sobriety. Instead, "Dark Shadows" owed more to Burton's "Beetlejuice" than Dan Curtis' soaper. Bekmambetov and Grahame-Smith didn't commit the same mistake.  They play “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter” straight-up, seriously, with spectacle to spare.

"Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" unfolds in the year 1818, in Indiana. Our hero (newcomer Lux Haney-Jardine) witnesses first-hand the immorality of slavery. A slaver lashes one of young Abe's friends, William Johnson (Curtis Harris of "Touched"), with a whip and leaves a scar on his cheek for life. We learn that the youth was struggling to prevent his family from being split up and sold down river. Lincoln's father intervenes, and his boss, Jack Barts (Marton Csokas of "Æon Flux"), fires him and then demands immediate payment of his debts. The defiant Lincoln refuses to pay up. Later, that night, Barts slips into their isolated wooden house and bites Nancy Lincoln. Young Abe witnessed this murderous deed and vows to avenge his mom's demise. The legendary rails splitter has grown up considerably when he tries to kill Bart by shooting him at point blank range with a cap and ball black powder pistol. Miraculously, at least to Abe's way of thinking, his quarry survives the bullet that lodges permanently in his right eye. Barts retaliates, but another individual, Henry Sturgess ((Dominic Cooper of "Captain America: The First Avenger"), comes to Abe's rescue. Lincoln manages to escape, and Sturgess explains why Barts didn't bite the dust. Thereafter, Sturgess trains Lincoln in the art of killing vampires. Since our hero is an incredibly terrible marksman, he falls back onto his own weapon of preference—an ax. Lincoln accepts Sturgess' Vampires 101 tutelage, but the lessons come with a condition. Lincoln must kill other vampires who constitute a greater menace before Sturgess will allow him to dispatch with Barts.

Abe relocates to Springfield, Illinois, becomes a clerk in a general store and studies law in his spare time when he isn't pursuing his vampire prey. Of course, nobody can know anything about his secret.  Honest Abe's best laid plans backfire when Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead of "The Thing") enters the store with an order for him to fill. Abe doesn't classify himself as a ladies' man so he is surprised when Mary takes an interest in him. Abe's employer and best friend, Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson of "Zodiac"), wrangles them an invitation to a dance where Abe meets Mary again. Despite Henry Sturgess' warnings that Abe should shun companionship since it might interfere with his nocturnal hunting, Abe starts dating Mary. Meanwhile, Abe carries out Henry's orders and becomes such a proficient vampire killer, eventually slaughtering Jack Barts, that he arouses the wrath of the oldest of all vampires, Adam (Rufus Sewell of "Dark City"), who lives in the South. According to Adam, vampires have roamed the earth for 5000 years searching for a place that they can call home.  They like the south because slavery provides them with a steady flow of blood.  Adam exploits Abe's friendship with William (Anthony Mackie of "Real Steel"), who is still searching for his relatives. Adam invites Abe and William to his Louisiana Plantation, and plans to eliminate the vampire hunter. Of course, Abe thwarts Adam's plans, wipes out a number of vampires, and then marries Mary and embarks on his prestigious career as the Great Emancipator until Adam and vampires take sides with Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy.

 “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter” is the first time that Hollywood has appropriated a venerable figure such as Lincoln since the 2001 spoof “Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.”  This ultra low-budget, Canadian-produced, musical comedy with chopsocky combat sequences paired the Messiah with Mexican wrestling sensation El Santos to battle lesbian vampires! Comparatively, Bekmambetov and Grahame-Smith take themselves and the Great Emancipator much more seriously in their radical make-over of the politician. The concept that Lincoln carried out cold-blooded executions of vampires during the 19th century would turn anybody's head, including Mr. Lincoln. The discrepancy between the real-life warrior and his audacious literary alter-ego may be more than some audiences can wrap their heads around. Mind you, "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" doesn't turn Lincoln into a figure of ridicule. Tastefully, Bekmambetov and Grahame-Smith have refrained from covering all the tragedy in Lincoln's life during his tenure in the Oval Office. Unlike the novel, the film deals only partially with everything before Lincoln accompanies his wife to the Ford Theater. The writer and the director have eliminated anything that doesn't propel the action forward, and they have replaced dull scenes with exciting ones.  Lincoln emerges as Brue Lee with an ax to grind. You won't find the flaming trestle that a munitions train must cross in the novel, and the book lacks a central villain. Happily, Rufus Sewell delivers an impeccable performance as the chief vampire villain. The vampires appear rather frightening. Bekmambetov and Grahame-Smith have conjured up some new rules that aren't universal for the genre. First, vampires can rough up other vampires, but they are not allowed to kill each other. Second, these vampires can become invisible in the blink of an eye. Third, the secret weapon that our heroes must stockpile to thwart their evil designs is silver. A human can drop a vampire stone-dead in its tracks with a silver bullet. Although it clocks in at 105 minutes, "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" never wears out its welcome.

FILM REVIEW OF ''PROMETHEUS" (2012)

In a New York Times interview, “Blade Runner” director Ridley Scott described his third science fiction film “Prometheus” as “‘2001’ on steroids.”  This comparison is entirely appropriate, particularly if you’ve seen the enigmatic but thought-provoking Stanley Kubrick epic about the evolution of mankind since the dawn of time.  Scott’s first 3-D spectacle (“Prometheus” is fun to watch once in 3-D) has elicited a wide variety of commentary since it arrived in theaters.  Essentially, “Prometheus” (**1/2 out of ****) chronicles mankind’s search for its origins.  Two archeologists convince a wealthy corporate sponsor to create a spaceship that will transport them to the far reaches of the galaxy where they believe that they will find the answers to questions that the ancient etched in caves long ago.  Of course, what they find is not what they wanted.  Nevertheless, they do learn something not only about themselves but also their creators that will keep audiences arguing about the meaning of “Prometheus” until the producers shed more celluloid on the situation.  Ostensibly, “Prometheus” qualifies as a quasi-prequel to Scott’s own scary sci-fi saga “Alien.”  The chief difference is that “Prometheus” isn’t a tenth as horrifying.  Nothing like the pugnacious pickle-shaped predator bursting from the chest of a human appears in this tame sci-fi opus.  Meantime, Scott has stated that “Prometheus” isn’t a prequel. He concedes, however, that the seeds of “Alien” have been sown into it.  You cannot watch “Prometheus” without thinking about “Alien.”  The “Alien” space jockey—as it is referred to--appears in “Prometheus” and so does an “Alien” prototype.  Furthermore, the story unfolds like “Alien,” boasts a contemplative android, a tenacious female protagonist, and a couple of tentacled reptilian creatures icky enough to make you shrink in revulsion.  The problem with “Prometheus” is that it is more speculative than dramatic.  Everybody about the physical appearance of “Prometheus” looks dazzling.  The technology and the equipment look like each belongs in the future.  Some of the performances are extraordinary, too, especially Michael Fassbinder as a sophisticated android with a lethal sense of humor.   Like “2001: A Space Odyssey,” “Prometheus” spends more time contemplating our predicament rather than frightening the living daylights out of us above it. 

“Prometheus” opens on what appears to be planet Earth.  We are treated to some awesome vistas as we fly above the sprawling terrain.  A man in a cloak with alabaster-white skin and a muscularly sculpted physique walks up to a waterfall while a gigantic, saucer-shaped UFO hovers not far away.  He takes the lid off a container and consumes some blackish goop.  No sooner has he swallowed this nasty stuff than he suffers crippling spasms and plunges into the waterfall.  The man’s powerful body integrates and we see his DNA appear.  As incredibly visual and mysterious as this scene is, you find yourself wondering exactly who this dude is and from whence he came.  The next sequence finds a team of archeologists excavating a site in the year 2089 when Dr. Elizabeth Shaw (Naomi Rapace of “Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows”) finds a star map on the wall of a cave.  She summons her colleague, Dr. Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green of “Brooklyn’s Finest”), who also happens to be her boyfriend, and shows him a cave painting with a tall, thin, man pointing to an array a stars.  The importance of this primitive drawing is that Shaw and Holloway have found similar examples of it around the world.  They believe that they have discovered a star map that will take them to meet their creators.  The next scene finds everybody aboard the Exploratory Vessel Prometheus in the year 2093 as an android, David (Michael Fassbinder of “Centurion”), keeps track of them before they awaken from stasis.  Once Dr. Shaw and Dr. Holloway along with their colleagues have gotten up and eaten, they meet the CEO of the Weyland Corporation, Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce of “Lockout”), whose billions have brought them into orbit around a faraway moon designated LV 223.  He makes comments about the mission in a holographic presentation to them and then hands the briefing over to our heroes.  Not long afterward, Weyland’s dictatorial daughter, Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron of “Snow White and the Huntsman”) informs them that they answer to her and she controls the mission.  Basically, Vickers is the equivalent of Ellen Ripley from “Alien.”  She warns them not to contact any aliens until they have notified her about it.

Our heroes, David, and their colleagues land on the surface of the moon near a gigantic structure and enter it wearing space suits.  No sooner have they walked in than they discover that they can take off their helmets because they can breathe the air.  They find a Mount Rushmore sized alien head in one of the rooms as well as mysterious vases that contain the black goop that the exterrestial sampled in the prologue.  They also find tall, imposing aliens like the “Alien” space jockey.  Most of these fellows are dead and laying about in piles in what appears to be bunkers.  David checks out a room teeming with vases.  Their exploration is cut short because a storm is moving in and they are order to evacuate and return to the ship.  Two of Shaw’s colleagues are accidentally left behind.  The captain of the spacecraft, Janek (Idris Elba of “Ghost Rider, Spirit of Vengeance”), advises them to sit out the storm and await their arrival in the morning.  Creepy things begin to happen and the two men encounter a snake-like creature that latches on to them.  They are not prepared for what happens to them.  Later, it turns out that Dr. Shaw has been contaminated with an organism in her body that resembles an embryro.  She explains that she is not fertile and begins a mad dash to remove this organism from her body.

The monsters in “Prometheus” aren’t as scary as the “Alien” beasties.  Meantime, this two hour-plus, R-rated potboiler will make you think about what didn’t happen on screen more than what did.

FILM REVIEW OF ''GOLIATH AND THE VAMPIRES" (ITALIAN-1961)

Italian composer Angelo Francesco Lavagnino furnished "Hercules Against the Moon Men" director Giacomo Gentilomo with a flavorful, atmospheric score for his above-average but formulaic spear and sandal saga "Goliath and the Vampires," starring muscle-bound Gordon Scott as the legendary champion. Like the Reg Park outing "Hercules in the Haunted World," Goliath clashes with a supernatural adversary named Kobrak. “Goliath and the Vampires" doesn't take itself seriously so it is a lot of fun with the usual damsels-in-distress, palace intrigue, and a heroic protagonist whose triumph occurs only in a matter of time. Gentilomo and scenarists Sergio Corbucci of "The Mercenary" and Duccio Tessari of "Duck You Sucker" have contrived one of the more imaginative peplums, with several elaborately staged combat scenes. Indeed, a couple of counterfeit looking little monsters cheese up a scene or two, but the filmmakers dispense with these goofy bugs quickly enough after exploiting their shock value. Meantime, our brawny hero has his hands full most of his time struggling with overwhelming numbers of opponents. Bare-chested Gordon Scott is appropriately stalwart and purpose-driven as the male lead. Goliath’s first fight in the market place is a spectacle itself with him wielding whatever is at hand to subjugate the soldiers. When he isn’t pummeling his opponents with his fists, Goliath swings huge beams, hurls carts, and tears up a torture device. Later, he is subjected to the torture himself of being imprisoned within a giant bell while slaves hit the bell with rods.  The ultimate shown occurs when Goliath has to fight himself. Kobrak has taken on his appearance. Violence proliferates in this fantasy peplum entry. The villain tears out a defenseless woman’s throat, even a child dies!   The beautiful, hour-glass shaped women wear big hair. Gianna Maria Canale looks as gorgeous as she is treacherous, and producer Dino De Laurentiis seems to have spared no expense with some spacious sets.  

Pirates from another kingdom attack a defenseless village without mercy. They raze the village, slaughter the men, abduct the nubile young women and transport them across the sea into slavery. So wicked are these heartless sea raiders that they feed the older women to the sharks. The eponymous strongman travels to the faraway island to rescue the women. Outnumbered as always, Goliath tangles with scores of soldiers, but he exploits his spectacular strength to compensate for their greater numbers. No, Kobrak doesn't qualify as the standard vampire with fangs, a regal wardrobe, and beguiling eyes. He materializes like an apparition from nowhere, kills with his clawed fists, and reduces his victims to lifeless mummies. Moreover, the treacherous Kobrak shows no qualms about dispatching his own subordinates. 

The opening scene solidly establishes the protagonist's character. Goliath (Gordon Scott of "Tarzan's Greatest Adventure") trudges behind two oxen and plows an inhospitable field. Typically, the peplum hero is an outsider. Sometimes, he is an iterant adventurer. He enters a society and delivers it from tyranny, but Goliath is not an outsider here. Later, when he enters Salminak, he is an outsider. Gentilomo depicts Goliath as a peaceful farmer, using his incredible strength to uproot and remove a stump from the field. Clearly, though the most convincing but mundane scene, this modest display of brute force illustrates Goliath's determination to let nothing stand in his way. He uses his brawn to solve his problems. 

No sooner has Goliath gotten rid of stump than he hears cries of alarm. The young boy, Ciro (Rocco Vitolazzi), that Goliath brought with him, is drowning. Plunging from a high mountain cliff, Goliath saves the lad from a watery grave. Some kind of sea monster may have figured in Ciro's near drowning, but the fight has been mysteriously edited so we cannot see what is happening. As he takes Ciro back to their village on his white horse, Goliath reminds the youth that his sister would never have forgiven him if Goliath had let Ciro die. Ciro chastises Goliath because the strongman has kept putting his impending marriage to sister, Guja (Leonora Ruffo of "Goliath and the Dragon"), on hold. Gentilomo and his scenarists sketch more depth into Goliath's character than the typical peplum. As they approach the village, they see clouds of dark smoke gathering. They arrive too late to thwart the pirates. Ciro's mother and father lay dead, while Goliath's mother (Emma Baron of "Aphrodite, Goddess of Love") dies in his brawny arms.

"I shall avenge them," Goliath vows. "I shall free Guja and the others and those responsible will pay for their crimes." Moreover, Goliath is puzzled by the raiders. "Their ferocity and cruelty make no sense. Why do they murder like this without plundering. Why take nothing from the houses? Only the women are kidnapped and the men are thrown in the fire." An elderly man who survived the carnage informs Goliath that the raiders hail from the faraway island Salminak. Meanwhile, aboard their ship, the pirates slash the women, drawing plasma from all them but Guja, to fill a goblet for Kobrak to quench his thirst for blood. Kobrak's initial appearance aboard the ship is rather sinister. The African-American leader of the raiders, Amahil (Van Aikens of “Rage of the Buccaneers”), enters a chamber with a goblet and a hideous hand wreathed in smoke emerges from behind a curtain to grasp it. Gentilomo heightens the tension as the interior turns blood red and the curtain billow after Kobrak has drunk the blood. Amahil scrambles out of the room, happy to be alive. Later, we learn Kobrak is assembling an army of faceless zombies to conquer the world. By this time, Goliath has come to the attention of Kobrak. Against the advice of Astra, Kobrak wants Goliath alive. During Astra’s first conversation with Kobrak, the villain declares: “I want him alive. His magnificent body can serve as a model for the army of slaves with which I shall conqueror the Earth, the army of indomitable giants subservient to my will.”

After creating a huge disturbance in the market place, Goliath and Ciro flee and take refuge with the mysterious Kurtik (Jacques Sernas of “For a Few Extra Dollars”) and his friends. Kurtik rescued Magda (Annabella Incontrera of “1969 The Assassination Bureau”) from the market place and saw Goliath repulse the soldiers.  He wants Goliath to join forces with him. “I only trust my shadow,” he tells Kurtik. Kurtik assures Goliath they share the same enemy. Goliath is so sure, “I don’t know your enemy. I do know that mine is a murderer who lurks and hides in the darkness.” Kurtik vows to flush their mutual adversary out of hiding. Back at Kurtik’s refuge, Magda roams around a laboratory. She reads an ancient scroll. “And from the serpent born in the depths of the kingdom of evil sprang the monster that nourishes itself on human blood to generate an army of automatons. Only one proud and noble people, the race of the Blue Men, will have the courage to combat the monster and restore face to each of those he has deprived.” No sooner does she learn about this than Kobrak materializes and rips her throat open. 

Meantime, unrest smolders in the palace. The Sultan Abdul (Mario Feliciani of “Last of the Vikings”) who rules Salminak fears Kobrak. When a minister urges Abdul to take advantage of Goliath’s presence to stage a rebellion against Kobrak, Astra disposes of the minister. As the minister leaves the Sultan from another door, Astra trips a switch that triggers a trap door to the dungeon below and certain death. Ironically, Astra serves as Kobrak’s chief enforcer. This is a bit unusual for something like this in a peplum. Usually, the chief villain is another man, not a woman. Mind you, Astra gets what she wants until she tangles directly with Goliath. Astra carries out Kobrak’s orders. She finds Amahil with Goliath’s wife and kills the naval chieftain with a knife in the chest. Kurtik had scheduled a rendezvous with Amahil, but Astra kills him and he staggers from his room to topple from the balcony. Our heroes knelt at his body, and a soldier of the Sultan Abdul arrives and arrests Goliath. A brief fight ensues, but the soldiers subdue Goliath with a net. In prison, the jailor challenges Goliath to provide him with a display of his strength. "I hear you're the man who created more damage in a single day than a battalion." Goliath tears off his chains, strides to the center of the room, seizes a pillar, and brings the roof down. He escapes and finds Guja in the Sultan’s palace where Astra has delivered her. Goliath overpowers the guards, but Abdul orders them out. As a consequence of talking with Goliath, the Sultan suffers the wrath of Kobrak. Goliath and Guja flee from the city, get waylaid in a sand storm, and wind up in a cave with an army of blue men with spears. Goliath learns that Kurtik is the leader of the Blue Men.

 "Ulysses against the Son of Hercules" lenser Alvaro Mancori captures the larger-than-life splendor and savagery of "Goliath and the Vampires" (*** out of ****) with his widescreen cinematography. The violence is somewhat abrasive, but it remains primarily bloodless during the commission of the act with blood visible afterward. One scene shows a marauder firing an arrow into a man's face, while other shows a spear hurled into the villainess' stomach. The Corbucci and Tessari screenplay boasts a surprise or two, especially during the finale when Goliath confronts a foe that matches his strength. The filmmakers put our hero in several tight spots. One fantastic scene has Goliath with his wrists shackled to a huge wooden yoke behind his neck and across his shoulders. Goliath's captor challenges him to escape. Exerting his superhuman strength, Goliath snaps the yoke in half, removes the shackles, and then dislodges a pillar that brings part of the dungeon crashing down on his captors. An earlier scene in the town square has our hero dismantles a torture device with giant spikes in it and wields it as a weapon against armed horsemen. According to the Wild East blurbs, Corbucci helped out Gentilomo helming a scene or two, but Gentilomo directed the lion's share of the action. He keeps the action moving briskly along in this trim 91-minute opus.

"Goliath and the Vampires" ranks as a better-than-average peplum.