FILM REVIEW OF ''THE MECHANIC" (2011)

Anybody who saw British director Michael Winner's top-notch 1972 killer-thriller "The Mechanic" with Charles Bronson cast as a stoic, steely-eyed assassin who makes murder look like an accident knows no remake could ever do it justice. Mind you, Jason Statham makes "Con-Air" director Simon West's rehash of this classic action epic tolerable. Statham possesses an iconic presence that the cinema has been grooming since he made his debut in writer & director Guy Ritchie's outstanding crime opus "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in 1998. French producer Luc Besson catapulted the actor to widespread prominence with larger-than-life "The Transporter" franchise. Meantime, if the best action movies must top each other, then "The Mechanic" sends Statham stumbling. Although it occurs in a believable physical environment, "The Mechanic" (** out of ****) is just too tame and low yield to be more than average. You don't see Statham perform any stunts here that he hasn't done far better in either his "Transporter" trilogy or his outlandish "Crank" movies. Credit Simon West for maintaining the momentum throughout this contemporary actioneer. Nevertheless, the surprises, complications, and villains induce yawns more often than alarms. As R-rated thrillers go, "The Mechanic" seems incredibly subdued compared with genuine R-rated exercises in blood, gore and murder like the recent crime epic "The Punisher." “16 Blocks" scenarist Richard Wenk has changed substantially the content and context of the original in his update. Lewis John Carlino, who penned the original, shares screen credit with Wenk but it is difficult to determine if more than the Carlino basics were retained. A straight scene-for-scene retelling of the original "Mechanic" would have been less-than-inspired but more than adequate. Apparently, West and Wenk wanted to improve on the original and thus dispense with everything that made it memorable. Unlike the grim 1972 ending, the "Mechanic" remake provides boasts an upbeat ending. Furthermore, this revenge melodrama provides more deception that makes our hero appear somewhat stupid when you think about it because the villains take advantage of him in a way that would never have occurred in the Bronson classic. Moreover, unlike Bronson and co-star Jan-Michael Vincent, Statham and Ben Foster kindle little charisma as mentor and apprentice.

Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham of “The Expendables”) is a reclusive killer who performs hits for a mysterious corporation. He is the best in the business, and the first scene demonstrates his expertise. Bishop penetrates the premises of a Colombian drug lord. Scores of heavily armed brutes patrol the place. Nevertheless, our protagonist kills the drug lord right under their collective noses. Moreover, Bishop makes it appear as if drug lord drowned. This is probably as slick as “The Mechanic” remake gets, and our anti-heroic hero makes good his escape by swimming away under the dead drug dealer. The guards think nothing unusual as they watch their wiry boss perform a slow crawl across the pool. The next thing they know is their boss has curled up dead in the water. They sound the alarm, but Bishop is far away. Bishop meets his mentor, Harry McKenna (Donald Sutherland of “The Eagle Has Landed”), who rolls around in a wheelchair. Harry brings Arthur a package of greenbacks as payment. Harry and he have a history, and Harry is the closest to a friend that Arthur has. When Arthur isn’t knocking off people, he listens to vinyl Schubert recordings on a turntable, tinkers with his fashionable Jaguar, and checks his e-mail on his Apple. Occasionally, he goes out for a drink and enjoys the company of a well-paid prostitute. Incidentally, Arthur lives in a sumptuous residence in a remote bayou outside of New Orleans. Life for Arthur, as far as everything goes, couldn’t be better until he learns that Harry has been selling out his colleagues to the tune of $50 million. Harry’s partner, Dean (Tony Goldwyn of “Ghost”), contacts Arthur and shows him a sheaf of gory photos.

Naturally, Arthur has to think this contract over before he accepts it. A life-long friend, Harry has been there for him. Harry loves Arthur like a son. Harry has a son, Steve (Ben Foster of “3:10 to Yuma”), but he cannot stand his son and considers him a complete waste of time. Anyway, Arthur decides to perform the hit, if for no other reason than Harry will suffer less. Of course, Arthur makes Harry’s death look like a carjacking. Eventually, Steve drifts into the picture and the only thing on his mind is revenge. Arthur intervenes to keep Steve from killing an innocent criminal and decides to train him as a hit man. Dean doesn’t think that this is one of Arthur’s better ideas, but he lets him do it. Arthur teaches Steve the rules of killing, but Steve isn’t as cautious and careful. Rather than kill a child molesting thug without fanfare, Steve decides to beat the man to death. Steve survives, but he looks like he ran into a bull dozer. As Steve learns more and more, he moves in with Arthur. One day Steve discovers his father’s nickel-plated automatic pistol in Arthur’s storage tubs and plots his mentor’s demise. Before he can carry out the hit, Arthur and he must leave for Chicago to murder a religious cult figure with a controversial background. Indeed, nothing goes right for them and they escape by the skin of their teeth.

Director Simon West doesn’t rely as heavily on high tech gadgetry. He keeps most of violence pretty down to earth. The shoot-out scenes are staged without excessive blood and gore, and West lets nothing get in the fairly straight-f0rward storyline. West and Wenk do insert an occasional surprise. The best concerns cramming a teenage girl’s fingers down a garbage disposal in a sink. Not surprisingly, Arthur Bishop comes off looking immaculate compared with his murderous colleagues as well as the unholy scum of the earth that he receives orders to terminate with extreme prejudice. For the record, the Charles Bronson character in the original worked for the Italian mafia and his father had been a top mob boss. No traces of the mafia exist in the remake. Unfortunately, “The Mechanic” is primarily a nuts and bolts melodrama with little to distinguish it outside of Jason Statham’s tight-lipped performance and Ben Foster’s maniacal energy as a wannabe killer.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE GREEN HORNET'' (2011)

“The Green Hornet” (***1/2 out of ****) isn't just another jaded crime fighter movie. Those dreadful movies include “The Shadow” (1994), “The Phantom” (1996), and “The Spirit” (2008). Actually, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” director Michel Gondry and co-scenarists Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg have done a commendable job with their revival of this long dormant franchise. This cinematic reboot remains largely faithful to “The Green Hornet” radio series of the 1930s. Nevertheless, Rogen and Goldberg have taken marginal liberties with their adaptation. Our misunderstood protagonist endures an abusive father and fritters away his life as a party animal until he awakens to his true potential. The cars that our heroes cruise around in pay tribute to the 1966 ABC-TV series more than the two 1940s era cliffhanger serials, "The Green Hornet" (1940) with Gordon Jones and "The Green Hornet Strikes Again" (1940) with Warren Hull. Although the radio series occurred in Chicago, the film takes place in Los Angeles where the Reid family owned newspaper "The Daily Sentinel" is published. Meantime, the people who made the new “Green Hornet” ridicule the clichés and conventions of the crime fighter film genre and refrain from making the action appear hopelessly outlandish. Not only does the film examine the essence of villainy, but it also insists that wardrobe does not a villain make. Basically, “The Green Hornet” unfolds as an origins epic. Gondry and his writers ensure that the protagonists make a realistic transition from ordinary to extraordinary. Our heroes spend at least half of the action battling each other over their respective roles as hero and sidekick when they aren’t clashing with a lethal villain who will stop at nothing to ice them. 

“The Green Hornet” opens as young Brett Reid is escorted to his father’s newspaper office at “The Daily Sentinel.” James Reid (Tom Wilkinson of “Rush Hour”) berates his elementary school age son for being expelled for fighting. Sure, Brett’s father understands life is tough for his son. After all, Brett has no mother. Brett argues he was trying to thwart some bullies. James tears the head off his son’s superhero action figure and trashes it. Brett never forgives him for this act of cruelty. Twenty years elapse, and Brett turns into a no-holds-barred, thrill-seeking party animal until his father drops dead from an allergic reaction to a bee sting. Of course, there is more here than meets the eye. Anyway, public officials flock to James’ funeral and erect a statue in his honor. 

Meanwhile, Brett still smolders with resentment toward his father. Along the way, Brett has grown accustomed to his morning coffee. When he discovers his coffee doesn’t taste as delicious anymore, he starts screaming and learns that he fired the man who made it. Brett is surprised when he meets Kato (Taiwanese pop star Jay Chou) and the two guys bond. Kato is a chauffeur/inventor. He maintained James Reid's fleet of automobiles. Moreover, he rebuilt James’ cars and incorporated bullet-proof glass in the windshields and armored plated the vehicles against gunfire. Neither really liked Reid. Brett convinces Kato to join him for a late night prank. Brett decapitates his father’s statue. As he is lugging the head away, our protagonist tries to intervene when thugs attack an innocent couple. Kato arrives in the nick of time to save Brett and demonstrate his superb martial arts skills. A surveillance camera captures Brett stealing the statue head, and he appropriates this opportunity to introduce Los Angeles to its newest nemesis.

Chudnofsky (Oscar winner Christopher Waltz of “Inglourious Basterds”) is the most dangerous criminal in Los Angeles. You either join Chudnofsky or die. An ambitious crystal meth dealer, Danny Cleere (James Franco of “Spider-Man”), berates Chudnofsky for his old-school apparel and advises him to retire. Not surprisingly, Chudnofsky wipes out Cleere and company with a devastating double-barreled automatic pistol. Meantime, Brett uses “The Daily Sentinel” to propel his mysterious alter-ego to heights of notoriety. Unfortunately, Brett realizes almost too late that he doesn’t have a clue about fighting crime. He relies on his savvy newspaper secretary, Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz of “Knight and Day”), who has a college degree in journalism and criminology. As he watches the Green Hornet’s ascent to prominence, Chudnofsky calls for a meeting. The first encounter between Chudnofsky and the Hornet is pretty spectacular. Meantime, when Brett isn’t matching wits with Chudnofsky, he tangles with District Attorney Scanlon ( David Harbour of “Quantum of Solace”) who wants him to halt his news coverage about escalating crime. Scanlon is campaigning for re-election, and “The Daily Sentinel” is undermining his claims that Los Angeles crime is under control.

As a crime fighter, “The Green Hornet” resembles "Batman" and Bruce Wayne. James Reid was a newspaper tycoon, and Brett appropriates his father’s millions to pay for his exotic Green Hornet regalia and hardware. At the same time, Brett is like Zorro because he dons his emerald mask when he isn’t at the office. Of course, the chief difference between “The Green Hornet” and most crime fighters is that he behaves like a villain so criminals cannot take advantage of his virtue. In a sense, the Green Hornet emerges as an anti-heroic hero who fights for justice. Rogen and Goldberg never miss a moment to mock the crime fighter formula. What makes “The Green Hornet” doubly entertaining is that our heroes must learn the ropes of crime fighting as they are dodging lead. As they learn from their stupid mistakes, they acquire greater polish. Half of their success comes from ‘the Black Beauty.' Kato has tricked out a jet-black Chrysler Imperial so it amounts to a rolling arsenal with hood-mounted machine guns, a flame thrower, and rockets.

For the record, George W. Trendle and Fran Striker created “The Green Hornet” on January 31, 1936, at Detroit radio station WXYZ-AM. Comparatively, artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger created “Batman” about three years later in 1939. Seth Rogen makes a sympathetic hero and Christopher Waltz is a terrific villain. Altogether, “The Green Hornet” qualifies as an above-average reboot of a classic crime fighter with a stimulating car chase and some memorable confrontations.

FILM REVIEW OF ''COUNTRY STRONG" (2011)

Oscar winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow of “Shakespeare in Love” gives an electrifying performance as a country music superstar in “The Greatest” writer & director Shana Feste’s “Country Strong” (**** out of ****), an earnest tabloid tearjerker about a troubled country crooner in decline. Actually, Feste’s film owes a great deal to the venerable Hollywood soaper “A Star Is Born” that charted the fall of a superstar and the rise of a talented newcomer. Ironically, Feste has said that she drew on the travails that Britney Spears endured when her career took a downward spiral. Mind you, all country music yarns about warblers basically conform to a familiar storyline. You know that “Country Strong” is going to be about the headlines and the heartaches that a vocalist wallows in when either he or she tries to cleanse their shattered souls with booze, pills, and extramarital affairs. Feste’s superior screenplay with sympathetic characters and surprises galore as well as top-notch thesping by an all-around brilliant ensemble cast make the formulaic subject matter far better than you can ever imagine. You don’t have to groove country tunes to wade into this melodrama ripe with interesting characters and raw predicaments. Paltrow’s offbeat casting is a bonus and she dominates the action even though she is often out of the limelight with real-life country singer Tim McGraw playing her husband. Anybody who loved “Walk the Line,” “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” “Nashville,” “Sweet Dreams,” and “Crazy Heart” will find this 117-minute, PG-13 pseudo biographical drama as musically rewarding as it is psychologically riveting.

Grammy winning country music sensation Kelly Cantor (Gwyneth Paltrow) is in rehab when “Country Strong” begins. A year before the pregnant Cantor performed on stage in Dallas and tripped over a cable. She plunged into the audience and suffered a miscarriage. Later, the authorities arrested her because she had been drunk when she had her tragic accident. While in rehab, our recovering alcoholic meets a talented young singer Beau Hutton (Garrett Hedlund of “Georgia Rule”) who dreams of pursuing a career in country music. Beau prefers to play honky-tonk bars where people drink and listen to his tunes rather than tour. Nevertheless, he gets to meet Kelly while she is in rehab, and they have an affair. Before Kelly is fully prepared to leave rehab, her career manager/husband James Canter (Tim McGraw of “The Blind Side”) secures her early release. Symbolically, Kelly totes around an orphan baby quail in a tiny wooden box that she has been nursing back to health. Principally, James wants to get Kelly back in the spotlight on stage before she is written off as a ‘has been.’ He has lined up a three city tour: Austin, Houston, and finally Dallas. Beau doesn’t think that James’ idea is a good one. Naturally, Kelly is ready, willing, and eager. One of the conditions that she decides on before they leave rehab is that Beau accompanies them on tour. Of course, James suspects something is going on between Beau and his wife. James and Kelly aren’t the ideal couple since she lost his baby in an alcohol fueled frenzy on stage. As if to counteract his wife’s demand, James finds a beautiful young singer, Chiles Stanton (Leighton Meester of “Date Night”), to open for Kelly. Kelly warns Chiles to stay away from her husband. Meanwhile, Beau pokes fun at Chiles’ clean-scrubbed image as a beauty pageant queen with school teacher parents.

Although Beau and Kelly make out behind James’ back, you know that Beau and Chiles are intractably drawn to each other because they are so antagonistic when they see each other. Beau’s prediction that James took Kelly out of rehab too early comes true when she cannot make her first stage appearance. Kelly’s publicist claims that a bad case of food poisoning kept the superstar from performing at her Austin comeback concert. Indeed, things grow progressively worse for our heroine. She blows her stack when James gives a song that Kelly wanted to record to young Chiles. While they are touring Texas, Beau finds himself attracted to Chiles and he tells Kelly that he doesn’t like having her behind James’ back. Despite her multitude of problems, Kelly rallies when she appears in concert in Dallas where she took a dive a year ago. Eventually, Kelly mends fences with poor Chiles and gives her a laundry list of suggestions about life, love, and performing on stage. Moreover, the sagacious Kelly sees right through Chiles’ squeaky clean image. Never lie to your fans, the two-faced Kelly advises Chiles.

Writer & director Shana Feste does a superlative job orchestrating her characters. Just when you think that you have a character pigeonholed, the character performs an about-face that catches you off-guard. Perhaps the most ironic element of “Country Strong” is Tim McGraw’s turn as the heroine’s music manager. You’d think that McGraw would have taken the plum role that Garrett Hedlund landed, but it is McGraw’s offbeat casting, like Paltrow’s, that gives “Country Strong” its strength. Incidentally, Paltrow warbles her own tunes. Meantime, Leighton Meester registers an excellent performance and proves that her insecure character is far from the shallow princess that she appears to be from the outset. Although this $15-million movie takes place in Texas, Feste and company lensed it primarily in Tennessee. “Country Strong" unspools like a series of memorable high notes.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE TOURIST'' (2010)

Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp make a great looking couple in German director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s crime thriller “The Tourist,” an elegant but anemic homage to Alfred Hitchcock movies about strangers who meet on a train and fall in love. Everything about the PG-13 rated “Tourist” (** out of ***) looks great, too. “Dead Poets Society” lenser John Seale makes every shot of our well-coiffed heroine in control and our debonair hero in jeopardy around scenic Venice appear absolutely stunning. Aside from one scene where a man is strangled under rather unbelievable circumstances, the violence qualifies as standard-issue combat with nothing that particularly distinguishes it from ten-thousand other lackluster thrillers. In other words, the violence never escalates into the blood, gore, and more variety with blasted-off body parts or exotic forms of mayhem. Meantime, Donnersmarck and scenarists Christopher McQuarrie of “The Usual Suspects” and Julian Fellowes of “Vanity Fair” have contrived what amounts to a predictable potboiler about mistaken identities. The formulaic screenplay, sketchy characters, and absence of anything masquerading as momentum undercut this inert picture-postcard exercise in suspense. Not surprisingly, the filmmakers try to be clever with a surprise ending that may pull the rug out from under some audiences while others won’t be hoodwinked by this sloppy trick. Aside from Seale‘s sensational cinematography, “The Tourist” boasts a top-notch cast that features Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, Timothy Dalton, and Steven Berkoff. The lack of substance in the storyline ultimately diminishes this fine looking film.

Madison Community College mathematics instructor Frank Tupelo (Johnny Depp of “The Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise) is on a European holiday when he encounters the hopelessly beautiful Elise Clifton-Ward (Angelina Jolie of “Salt”) while on a Parisian train bound for Venice. They strike up an acquaintance that turns into a quirky one-sided romantic romp that takes up the better part of the action. Mind you, “The Tourist” qualifies as a lightweight, romantic comedy with one abrasive scene. No, Frank’s dark magnetism has nothing to do with Elise’s decision to approach him on the train. She is a mysterious dame herself who has been under constant surveillance by the authorities in England and France. French authorities, particularly the Financial Crimes Division, struggle to be inconspicuous as they follow her around in a van decked out with all the latest surveillance technology. They arrest anybody that she talks to that may fit the description of a criminal who has stolen over $744 million. Moreover, they stay in constant contact with Scotland Yard, specifically Inspector John Acheson (Paul Bettany of “Legion”), who has been trying to catch Elise with a notorious Englishman, an international fugitive named Alexander Pearce. They arrest a bicycle courier when he delivers a message to Elisa at a café and then later release him because he isn’t Pearce.

Pearce, it seems, appropriated his millions from the most malevolent gangster in Europe, Reginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff of “Beverly Hills Cop”), who doesn’t so much kill his adversaries as annihilate them and their families. He boasts at one point that he killed both anybody who made love to his wife before he met her as well as everybody afterward. Essentially, Shaw resembles Keyser Söze, the no-holds-barred Turkish criminal mastermind from Christopher Macquarie’s “The Usual Suspects” script.

When the French authorities send Acheson a photograph of the latest Pearce suspect, a corrupt Scotland Yard administrative assistant leaks word to Shaw about Pearce. Of course, Frank Tupelo isn’t Pearce. Indeed, Elisa strikes up an affair of sorts with Tupelo because the real Pearce asked her to find somebody that approximated his height and weight to mislead the authorities into thinking that he was Pearce. Before long, the clueless Frank Tupelo finds himself dodging bullets from Shaw’s trigger-happy Eastern Bloc gunmen. Later, Tupelo winds up handcuffed to a boat trying to escape more of Shaw’s incompetent henchmen. Shaw displays little patience for their ineptitude. He strangles one with a tailor’s measuring tape in front of the tailor as well as his own men. The villainous Shaw ranks as the toughest and least likeable character in “The Tourist.”

Acheson’s boss at Scotland Yard, Chief Inspector Jones (Timothy Dalton of “The Living Daylights”) has spent $8 million trying to track down the elusive Pearce. Now, Jones wants to waste no more time or money on the fugitive. Nevertheless, against Jones’ orders, Acheson decides to stick with the case and Elisa turns herself in to help him. The showdown in Venice with a Scotland Yard sniper team proving their enviable expertise with telescopic rifles is about as good as “The Tourist” gets before it pulls its switcheroo ploy. As clever as it appears initially, this reversal lacks credibility. At the same time, the international fugitive proves his love for the heroine and Jones walks away gratified, even though Acheson doesn’t believe a word of it!

Angelina Jolie plays a seductress who can wear an off-the-shoulder gown and pick a lock with ease. For the record, she wears 12 dresses in “The Tourist.” She is at her most elegant and cavorts about in fashionable apparel and high heels. Johnny Depp is at his most vulnerable in a role that provides him with little in the way of mystery. He wears his whiskers with style and smokes an ingenious looking device masquerading as a cigarette. This mechanical cigarette resembles an actual filter-tipped cigarette except it delivers only nicotine and water vapor so user appears to be smoking. The glow on the end is furnished courtesy of an LED. Keep your eyes on that cigarette if you want to enjoy this sly but shallow film. The British supporting cast, including former James Bond Timothy Dalton and Paul Bettany, make the police look good. The most interesting but least seen character is another Englishman (Rufus Sewell of “Dark City”) who skulks at the periphery. Sophomore Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s directing is flawless, but the same cannot be said of the thin screenplay. For the record, “The Tourist” is a remake of the French thriller “Anthony Zimmer” (2005) that toplined Sophie Marceau and Yvan Attal. Unfortunately, looks alone don’t give “The Tourist” what it needs to be either invigorating or mystifying. Ultimately, “The Tourist” is a sight that isn’t worth seeing.

FILM REVIEW OF ''DRACULA" (1931)

 Bela Lugosi plays the eponymous vampire in "Dracula" based on Bram Stokers' novel.Many actors have incarnated Dracula since Lugosi originated the role in Tod Browning's landmark horror chiller, but only one has matched Lugosi. Christopher Lee portrayed the immortal fangster memorably at least seven times for Hammer Films and a couple of times for other producers. Ironically, Lugosi only played Dracula twice during his disappointing Hollywood film career. Seventeen years later at the twilight of his career, Lugosi donned the cape to play Dracula in "Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein." Although Browning's movie introduced one of the most popular horror villains in cinematic history, nothing about "Dracula" (*** OUT OF ****) is remotely scary. First, Universal Studios made the film so as to not incur the wrath of the Hollywood Production Code or offend pious church groups. Second, Dracula never bares his fangs. Furthermore, we never see the infamous vampire feeding off his prey. After all, he couldn't have kept his evening clothes looking so pristine if he got blood splashed all over himself from draining a rebellious human of their life essence. Third, when Van Helsing stakes Dracula in his coffin at the end, this important action occurs off screen with only the anguished groans of the Count to let us know that the vampire is dead. Originally, the Production Code Administration had Universal remove these sounds of death. Indeed, "Metropolis" lenser Carl Freund photographed "Dracula," and he makes this nonsense look genuinely atmospheric. The close-up shots of an unblinking Lugosi as Dracula with pen lights brightening his lupine stare make this vampire look appropriately intimidating.

Initially, the studio sought Lon Chaney, Sr., for the part, but cancer claimed Chaney before the great thespian could make the film. Lugosi landed the role for a minimal $500-a-week and he never topped "Dracula," though he came close with "White Zombie." Eventually, he would thrive in Poverty Row studio chillers and comedies and ended his career in director Ed D. Wood's preposterous "Plan 9 from Outer Space." Browning went on to make the controversial "Freaks" with genuine freaks about intrigue and murder in a small traveling circus. Universal produced "Dracula" for about $341-thousand, but curiously enough they neglected to capitalize on their surprise hit until four years later when they produced "Dracula's Daughter" with no Lugosi in sight. Granted, Van Helsing had destroyed the Lugosi monster in the first film, but later films dismissed this consolation to realism. Lee's Dracula reconstitutes himself in virtually all the Hammer films.

"Dracula" opens with a long shot as a real-life, horse-drawn stagecoach threads its way through the Carpathian Mountains. Renfield (Dwight Frye of "The Doorway to Hell") is a London real estate agent who has come to Transylvania with a lease for Count Dracula to sign. Renfield is riding with several other passengers when an anxious native explains that they must reach the inn before sunset. "It is Walpurgis night, the night of evil." He pauses and then continues, "Nosferatu. On this night, Madame, the doors-they are barred and to the Virgin we pray." Meantime, at the inn, the workers are reciting the Lord's Prayer in Hungarian. The coach pulls up at the Inn, but Renfield has no plans to stay. "I say, porter, don't take my luggage down. I'm going to the Borgo Pass tonight." The innkeeper struggles to persuade Renfield to remain until sunrise the following day because the coachman is frightened. Renfield explains that a carriage awaits him at midnight at the Borgo Pass. He adds that his destination is Castle Dracula. The innkeeper warns Renfield not to enter Castle Dracula. "We people of the mountains believe at the castle there are vampires! Dracula and his wives. They take the form of wolves and bats. They leave their coffins at night and they feed on the blood of the living." Renfield discounts all this hokum. He believes they are all superstitious, something that Renfield isn't. The innkeeper's wife thrusts a crucifix into Renfield's hand. "If you must go, wear this for your mother's sake. It will protect you." The crucifix was a standard weapon in any vampire hunter's arsenal. In this 1931 production, the crucifix can stop a vampire. When Universal Studios remade "Dracula" in the 1970s with Frank Langella, the crucifix bursts into flames in Dracula's presence.

Renfield swaps stagecoaches at Borgo Pass and rides off to Castle Dracula. The coach is making good time when Renfield peers outside and sees a huge bat flapping its wings in front of the horses as if it were leading the steeds. Once they reach the castle, Renfield searches for the coachman who is nowhere in sight. Of course, we know from the instant that we saw the coachmen that he is Dracula and can shape-shift. Renfield enters the imposing but dilapidated Castle Dracula. The count guides his guest through the cob-web infested premises to more comfortable quarters. Dracula scrutinizes the lease to his future home in Carfax Abbey. Afterward, Renfield cuts himself accidentally with a paper clip. Dracula darts forward impulsively at the sight of blood on Renfield's middle finger. Just as he closes in for the kill, Dracula shrinks backwards in revulsion at the sight of the crucifix that topples onto Renfield's bloody hands. Later, Dracula bites Renfield after the head vampire has scared off his three wives.

Dracula boards a sailing vessel, the Vesta, for London. He arrives in London and tours the town dressed up in a silk top hat and a cape. He approaches a flower girl and bites her, but we are shown nothing. Dracula introduces himself to Dr. Seward, Jonathan Harker, and Professor Van Helsing at the opera house. Not long afterward Dracula strikes and kills Lucy (Francis Dade of "Raffles"). The mirror scene where Van Helsing exposes Dracula is good. The count exits the premises as a wolf so nobody will follow him. Later, Van Helsing and Harker track Dracula down and kill him in his coffin. "Dracula" qualifies a spooky classic horror thriller.

FILM REVIEW OF ''LITTLE FOCKERS'' (2010)

After "Austin Powers" helmer Jay Roach made the first two Mike Myers retro-1960s spy spoofs, he made a completely different comedy "Meet the Parents" (2000) that spawned another profitable big-ticket franchise. Roach followed up the hilarious “Parents” with an even bigger and funnier sequel "Meet the Fockers" (2004) which coined nearly $300-million at the box office. These two lowest common denominator farces focused on the foul-ups that a WASP-Jewish couple made as they sought to accommodate their diametrically-opposite in-laws. The raunchy wit of Roach and his scribes and the terrific performances of Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller respectively as patriarch and prospective son-in-law fueled the humor. Now, Roach has handed “Little Fockers” (** out of ****) and the franchise over to "American Pie" director Paul Weitz. As talented as Weitz is, he lacks Roach's sense of humor. Indeed, Universal Studios had to negotiate with co-star Dustin Hoffman to retain his services for this largely lackluster sequel. Reportedly, Hoffman hated the soporific screenplay and lamented Roach's departure. Nevertheless, the “Rain Man” star showed up for six scenes. One major advantage of “Little Fockers” is that Universal lured back the original cast. You can always tell when a franchise is falling apart by the absence of original cast members. The filmmakers devote a large part of their 98 minute running time to the logistics of shuffling characters in and out of the complicated story, particularly the peripheral characters. Owen Wilson, Barbara Streisand, and Dustin Hoffman reappear, but they occupy strictly supporting roles.

Primarily, "Little Fockers" amounts to a fair-to-middling farce with a shortage of gross-out gags. Indeed, it pales by comparison with the zany original and the laugh riot sequel that featured a surfeit of infantile humor. The projectile vomit scene and the penile injection scene are the funniest scenes in this bland sequel. Sadly, "Meet the Fockers" suffers from one of its own comic plot devices--erectile-dysfunction--because it is hard-up for humor. “Meet the Parents” scenarist John Hamburg and newcomer Larry Stuckey spend more time on the complications than the comedy of errors. Predictably, they exploit the obscene-sounding surname of Ben Stiller's character for standard snickers. Meanwhile, they have contrived yet another lame confrontation between a straight-faced but scowling Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller's sympathetic but stumbling schlemiel. Mind you, De Niro and Stiller are still very good as mortal enemies.

The biggest difference between “Little Fockers” and the two earlier films is that Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller of “Tropic Thunder”) and Pam (Teri Polo of “The Beacon”) are married now and living in Chicago with twins, a daughter and son, Samantha (Daisy Tahan) and Henry (Colin Baiocchi), who are going to celebrate their fifth birthday. Gregg, as he prefers to be called, has landed an administrative position at a Chicago Hospital. This time around gimlet-eyed, former CIA agent Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro of “Taxi Driver”) tries to bust his son-in-law for an extramarital affair with Andi Garcia (Jessica Alba of “Machete”), a flirtatious prescription drug saleslady. She tools around in a red sports car with ‘Rx Grrrl’ on her license tag. Scenarists Hamburg and Stuckey are following up on the health-care minded lead of the recent Viagra comedy “Love and Other Drugs” with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. Hamburg and Stuckey combine the erectile-dysfunction issue with Jack’s weak heart condition. The erectile-dysfunction medicine here is touted as user friendly for heart patients. Jack suffers a mild heart attack, but survives it by improvising his own defibrillation paddles. Meantime, the first time that drug rep Andi meets Gregg, she likes him. When an unhappy African-American patient protests about the way that Nurse Louis (Kevin Hart of “Soul Plane”) is giving him an enema, Andi snaps on the gloves happily to help and Gregg lends a hand. Everything that they say as they administer the enema is laden with sexual innuendo. Nurse Louis is grinning in the background, while the patient is swooning. Of course, Andi becomes infatuated with Gregg and wants him to serve as a spokesman for her company. Gregg and Pam, it seems, are living with Jack and Dina (Blythe Danner) because they are having their house renovated.

This part of “Little Fockers” dovetails with Gregg and Pam’s marriage. Gregg’s mom, therapist Roz Focker (Barbara Streisand), who hosts her own talk show “Sexpress Yourself,” discusses how child rearing often interferes with a couple’s sex life. Sometimes, she says, this complication drives the man to cheat. When Jack spots the samples of the erectile-dysfunction medicine "Sustengo" in a closet, he concludes that Gregg is up to something. Gregg wants to keep his business dealings with Andi a secret because he is trying to finance the remodeling of his suburban home, and he doesn’t want anybody to know where he is getting the money. Not surprisingly, Jack interprets things the wrong way. “Little Fockers” is basically another comedy of errors. Weitz and his scenarists bring Pam’s old flame, Kevin Rawley (Owen Wilson of “Marley and Me”) back into the action because Jack is having doubts that Gregg is best for Pam. Bernie (Dustin Hoffman) is off cavorting in Seville, Spain, learning how to dance the flamenco dance because it promotes sexual health.

This uninspired three-quel qualifies as a potboiler. The complications are basically Jack spying on Gregg again, and Gregg struggling to be a responsible breadwinner without confiding in Jack. Weitz and company tack on another ineffectual subplot about the Fockers enrolling the twins in an upper-scale kindergarten, the Early Human School, that isn‘t silly enough to be funny. Actress Laura Dern plays Prudence, the head mistress who interviews both the parents and children. Pam gets sick and cannot attend the tour day, so Gregg takes along ever inquisitive Jack. Naturally, Prudence leaps to the wrong conclusion that Gregg and Jack are a gay couple. Ironically, the title suggests that the twins will drive the story. Alas, the twins remain just as peripheral as Bernie, Roz, Kevin, and Dina. “Little Fockers” is too marginal to be anything but a rental.

FILM REVIEW OF ''TRUE GRIT" (2010)

Remaking a classic movie is often a risky proposition. More often than not, Hollywood filmmakers aim high but wind up shooting low. "O, Brother Where Art Thou?" co-writer and directors Ethan and Joel Coens' remake of director Henry Hathaway's "True Grit" (1969), with John Wayne in his only Oscar winning performance, qualifies as the exception to the rule. Not only do the Coens aim high, but they also hit the bull's-eye. Ostensibly, they have done a splendid job with their first horse opera, and Jeff Bridges has filled some mighty big boots without stumbling. Strictly speaking, the Coens' "True Grit" (***1/2 OUT OF ****) isn't the first remake. Few remember director Richard T. Heffron's TV remake of "True Grit" with character actor Warren Oates donning the eye patch as Marshal Rooster Cogburn. Heffron's 1978 television pilot for a proposed TV series went belly up. Meanwhile, the salient differences between Hathaway's version and the Coens' remake boils down to the differences in the respective performances between Wayne and Bridges. Mind you, Bridges doesn't impersonate Wayne so much as deliver his own interpretation of the cantankerous protagonist from author Charles Portis' western bestseller. Indeed, Bridges sports his eye patch over his right eye rather than the left as Wayne did. The Coens have gone back to the Charles Portis novel and shifted the emphasis from the pugnacious Cogburn to plucky teenage heroine Mattie Ross.

When family man Frank Ross is gunned down in cold blood in Fort Smith, Arkansas, his 14-year old daughter Mattie (newcomer Hailee Steinfeld) leaves her ranch in Yell County near Dardanelle to avenge his death. Hired hand Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin of "Jonah Hex") murdered the Ross patriarch, robbed him, stole his horse and then disappeared into the Indian Territory. The Indian Territory here is what eventually became the state of Oklahoma . Mattie arrives in Fort Smith by train determined to bring her father's killer to justice. She learns that the Fort Smith authorities have issued a warrant on Chaney. Unfortunately, they can't arrest Chaney since the Indian nation lies beyond their jurisdiction. Eventually, Mattie finds the right man to help her. U.S. Marshal Reuben J. Cogburn, better known thereabouts as 'Rooster,' is described to her by the sheriff as "a pitiless man, double-tough, and fear don't enter into his thinking." The sheriff adds that Rooster craves liquor. Mattie manages to recruit Rooster (Jeff Bridges of "The Big Lebowski") with an offer to pay him $100. About that time an upstart, cocksure Texas Ranger, LaBoeuf (Matt Damon of "The Departed"), shows up and derails Mattie's plans. LaBoeuf convinces Rooster to leave Mattie behind. Chaney, it seems, shot a Texas senator, and LaBeouf has been tracking him for the enormous reward that the family will pay. LaBoeuf promises to share the reward with Rooster.

Tenacious little Mattie refuses to be left behind. She pursues Rooster and LaBoeuf, swims her horse across a treacherous river, and demands that the marshal return her money. She threatens to prosecute Rooster for betraying her, and LaBoeuf gives her a spanking to silence her. The sight of LaBoeuf whipping the poor teen changes Rooster's mind, and he allows Mattie to ride along with them. A disgusted LaBoeuf parts company with them. Later, Rooster and Mattie sneak up on two grubby gunmen inside a remote cabin. Rooster shoots one of them after the other kills his criminal cohort. The two outlaws fell out with each other after the younger one informed Rooster that they were holding fresh horses for notorious outlaw Lucky Ned Pepper. When Ned (Barry Pepper of "Saving Private Ryan") and his gang show up at the cabin, they run into LaBoeuf. LaBoeuf finds himself caught up in the cross-fire between Rooster and Ned. Accidentally, Rooster wounds LaBoeuf in the melee, and Ned escapes. Inexplicably, this is the only scene that the Coens changed substantially that Portis did not have in his novel.

Mattie cannot believe they have lost their only lead to Tom Chaney. Earlier, the Fort Smith authorities said that Chaney had thrown in with Ned and helped rob a train. Everybody is set to ride their separate ways when Mattie stumbles onto Chaney. She has gone to the river to fetch water for Rooster when she encounters Chaney. Without a qualm, Mattie brandishes her father's black powder revolver and shoots Chaney. The villainous Chaney survives Mattie's shot and takes her prisoner. Ned rides up and warns Rooster that he will kill Mattie if Rooster doesn't ride off. Ned leaves Mattie with Chaney and warns the outlaw to refrain from harming her. Naturally, Chaney has other ideas. Anybody who has seen the original knows about the infamous snake pit scene when Mattie tumbles into the craggy rocks and gets snake bitten. The consequences are more realistic in this version.

You'll have to look long and hard to complain about the differences between the Coens' "True Grit" and the Hathaway original. Sure, some differences are obvious. Ultimately, however, those differences don't amount to much. The opening and the ending scenes differ. The original "True Grit" dramatized the exposition that opens the new "True Grit." Mattie appears as a fully grown woman in the ending. Bridges doesn't leap a four-rail fence with his horse, and co-star Matt Damon fares better than country music crooner Glen Campbell did in the Wayne version. Actually, Damon winds up in what constitutes a supporting role rather than a co-starring role. Josh Brolin is probably too luminous a star to be shoe-horned into his cameo as the villain that character actor Jeff Corey created. Barry Pepper has a difficult time banishing the memory of Robert Duvall who played the first Lucky Ned Pepper. As Mattie Ross, Hailee Steinfeld is closer in actual age to the heroine than 21-year old Kim Darby was in the first film. The audiences that may be most upset with the new "True Grit" will likely be those who have seen every Coen movie. "True Grit" doesn't bristle with their usual trademark helping of irony and eccentricity. Surprisingly, for a change, the Coens play things pretty much straight down the line. In other words, their remake of the Hathaway classic is reverential.