"Savage
Seven" actor Larry Bishop must have seen "Escape from New York" before he
wrote, produced, and directed the R-rated, Dimension Films release
"Hell Ride" (*** OUT OF ****) with Quentin Tarantino serving as
executive producer.
Bishops dresses as if he were channeling Kurt Russell's Snake Plissken
from the John Carpenter classic. Bishop plays 'Pistolero,' the president of
a notorious motorcycle gang called 'the Victors.' This unsavory
synthesis of Spaghetti western and the Biker flick, about outlaw
bikers, booze, and booty concerns revenge. A cast of familiar faces,
including Michael Madsen, Dennis Hopper, Francesco Quinn, Vinnie Jones, Eric
Balfour, and David Carradine, circle each other with gimlet eyed glares
when they aren't drooling on delicious dolls, and either shooting or
setting folks afire. Most of the action transpires in the desert, at a
motel, and at a bar called Dani's Inferno. According to Bishop,
"Hell Ride" was shot in twenty days and on a shoe string. Bishop says
he based his casting choices on the motorcycle that they straddle and
the motorcycle had to look good. Nothing about this low-budget
homage to grind-house sagas is anything that most people, other old
B-movie fans will, want to suffer through. This amoral
melodrama
has its share of moments. Bishop looks like a demented version of
Al Pacino. Nudity, violence, and profanity are rampant throughout
"Hell Ride."
The opening
scene with Bishop flat on his back with an arrow protruding his belly is
unforgettable. The suspense of this scene is mitigated somewhat by
the appearance of a sexy babe who squats on our hero's face and extracts
the arrow. The action shifts then to 32 earlier as some ruffians
storm into a motel room, slash a gal's throat while a teenager watches, and
then ignites her like a bonfire. Moments later, the scene shifts 32
years later, Billy Wings gives an old grizzled man, St. Louie (Pete
Randall), similar treatment. The biker's funeral in the desert with the
gang taking a last swig on their beer bottles before they
christen the
coffin in an oblong hole carved at of the desert is strikingly
stuff. Indeed, everything about "Hell Ride" is over-the-top, with
larger-than-life bastards who have no compunction about murder. After our
heroes conclude their farewell to their biker friend, then barge into a
trailer and mow down four opposing biker gang members. The Gent
(Michael Madsen of "Reservoir Dogs") apologizes after the shooting to Pistolero
(Larry Bishop) for pulling the trigger one time too many, "My
finger got stuck." Pistolero replies, "Next time share a
little." Pistolero
wields a Smith & Wesson and administers a coup de grace. Not to be
outdone, fellow biker Comanche (Eric Balfour of "Skyline') wants trophies.
"So I say we cut off their heads, we take'em with us." The Gent
disagrees with Comanche while he admires the nude women in an issue of the
pornographic magazine "Club," "I say we just take a few pinkies and
call it a day." Ultimately, Pistolero rules. "How's about we take
their stash, torch the trailer, and get the f%*k out of here?" The next
shot depicts Comanche, The Gent, and Pistolero sauntering away from the
trailer as it blows up behind them and is engulfed in the flames. If
you look closely, you can see that The Gent has the Club magazine in
his britches at his crotch as he walks away from the trailer.
Mind you, all this mayhem occurs in the first seven minutes of this
84-minute biker flick. What's not to like? At this point, Bishop presents the
opening credits. By this time, if you're not grooving on this
retro-fitted biker flick, you need to find something that appeals more to your
taste.
Chilean
actress Leonor Varela shows up for her second scene in a big house with a
long porch. Pistolero encounters her after he enters the premises and
spots her at a pool table. A scene involving verbal sexual fencing
commences with Nada begging Pistolero to have screw her or suffer the
damnation of Hell. Pistolero informs her that he is in Hell. What sets
her performance apart is Leonor convinced Bishop in this scene as
well as the opening gambit that she didn't have to appear naked to
look sexy. Leonor proves her point many times over. Pistolero learns from
her that the Six-Six-Sixers biker gang, including The Deuce (David
Carradine of the "Kill Bill" movies) and Billy Wings (Vinnie Jones of "Swordfish"),
are itching for vengeance. Nada elaborates that the whole
Deuce business has "something to do with that Cherokee Kisum woman."
Eventually, Eddie leads Billy Wings into a shoot-out, and the Gent literally
jumps the gun and drills him. Later, Pistolero
finishes him off rather painfully. Not
only does he shoot Eddie, but he also slits his throat and torches him. The influence of Tarantino is evident when
Comanche finds a safe deposit box in the desert, but we never learn what it
contains.
The scene
when Comanche urinates on Eddie's boots is hilarious. Comanche and
his buddies later follow Eddie who straddles a bike with a sidecar. The
second encounter between Nada and Pistolero uses fire as a metaphor for
their love talk. Later, our hero takes a trip on peyote. This scene
leads up to the opening scene when Nada shoves the arrow into
Pistolero. For the record, Carradine does show up until almost 44 minutes have
elapsed. "Hell Ride" is an atmospheric steel horse opera with
quotable dialogue, rugged desert scenery, gritty action, and interesting
performances.
