Taron Egerton delivers an electrifying performance as Elton John in "Eddie the Eagle" director Dexter Fletcher's "Rocketman," (*** OUT OF ****) a 'warts and all' musical biography about the British singer, songwriter, pianist, and composer who has sold reportedly as many as 250 to 300 million records since his debut on the charts in 1970 with "Your Song." Mind you, Elton's debut studio album hit the racks in 1969, but it wasn't released in the U.S. until 1975. Occasionally inspired, often conventionally straightforward, but hopelessly costumed, this cinematic greatest hits revue epitomizes the proverb 'money cannot buy happiness.' This hoary cliché finds refreshing relevance with the eponymous musician's own confession early on in writer Lee Hall's screenplay. Elton boasts that he has done everything, but he has never experienced true love. Now, if you're wondering what he felt about this off-delayed, somewhat contrived jukebox musical fantasy, it should come as no surprise that the five-time Grammy winning piano prodigy adores it. Indeed, Elton produced this two-hour plus extravaganza, with his husband, Canadian filmmaker David Furnish.
Elton's biopic qualifies as an important first in movie history for its depiction of gay male sex. Essentially, however, most of these flagrant affections amount to little more than kissing and groping. Sadly, despite the musician's participation behind the camera, "Rocketman" has yet to achieve the lunar trajectory of Queen's comparatively prudish PG-13 release "Bohemian Rhapsody" (2018), with its phenomenal $900 million plus box office haul. Reportedly, audiences criticized "Bohemian Rhapsody" for sterilizing Freddy Mercury's love life. After watching this rise and fall and then phoenix-like rebirth of the British superstar's life, it seems miraculous that Elton has emerged from the pandemonium of his life and appears now to be at peace at age 72. Elton's second autobiography due out in print October 15th will undoubtedly prove more illuminating.
Watching "Rocketman" is like watching Elton's greatest hits. The first time we see the superstar, he storms into a twelve-step AA meeting, presumably fresh from a concert, decked out as he is like the supernatural monster "Hellboy" from the Dark Horse Comics. Detaching the horns from his headpiece, Elton collapses into a chair and regales them with his woes. "Rocketman" chronicles Elton's rollercoaster life, including his bouts with his eating disorders, shopping sprees, and alcohol-fueled orgies energized with prescription meds as well as illegal substances. At one point, as he is topping the charts, Elton realizes he must hush up his secret life as a homosexual. When he outs himself on a pay phone to his serenely aloof mother, Shelia (Bryce Dallas Howard of "Jurassic World"), she smirks: "Oh, for God's sake, I knew that. I've known for years." Like Queen's front man Freddie Mercury, Elton survives a harrowing same sex encounter with a villainous manager, John Reid (Richard Madden of Disney's live-action "Cinderella"), who warns Elton--whether the latter lives or dies-that he will still reap his 20 percent of the profits. Perhaps a message lurks within for prospective rockers about confusing love with sex. Incidentally, a different actor played the same promoter in "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Naturally, "Rocketman" eavesdrops on Elton's early years in flashback when he was shy Reginald Kenneth Dwight and discovered an affinity for the piano at age four. By age eleven, he had landed a scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music. Clearly, Elton suffered at the whims of his parents who withheld their love and affection. No, they didn't abuse him physically, but the emotional toll was just as devastating to the youngster. The first genuine friendship that he forged turned out to be with his long-time musical collaborator but heterosexual male, Bernie Taupin ( Jamie Bell of "Defiance"), who penned some of Elton's best lyrics. Apart from a brief hiatus between 1977 to 1979, Elton and Taupin spent more than 30 years together writing songs. Elton boasts that they had only one argument during all those years!
Unlike most celebrities who shun the spotlight when it threatens to become too revealing, Elton John told director Dexter Fletcher that he wanted to see as much 'honesty' as possible about his trials and tribulations. At no time did the rock star admonish Fletcher and Hall about unsavory episodes in his life. Predictably, the sexual improprieties have been held to a minimum, but Elton's faithful heterosexual fans have probably resigned themselves to this revelation in a career that has been splashed across the tabloids for almost fifty years. The inevitable turning point in any rock star's life occurs when suicide rears its ugly head in their thoughts. One of "Rocketman's" insightful scenes takes place during such an instance. During a pool-party orgy with scores of oblivious spectators carrying on without a clue, a bleakly depressed Elton plunges headlong into the surreal blue depths and sinks like a rock. At the bottom of his pool, he finds young Reginald Kenneth Dwight playing his tiny piano. Mind-blowing accurately describes this unforgettable scene.
"Rocketman" doesn't cover the entirety of Elton's life. Ostensibly, the last of his greatest hits "I'm Still Standing" marks not only the conclusion of the film but also the end of a life over 'troubled waters' as he comes to grips with his homosexuality, terminates his heterosexual marriage after two years, and emerges from rehab with a new lease on life. Of course, purists will argue that Fletcher and company have tampered with the chronology of Elton's life. Of course, they have! Nevertheless, they have tried to make his life as sensational as it is tall-all, while eliminating other events which did not contribute to the film. Taron Egerton's vocal performance as well as his bizarre wardrobe changes closely imitate Elton. Altogether, "Rocketman" qualifies as a blast!
CINEMATIC REVELATIONS allows me the luxury of writing, editing and archiving my film and television reviews. Some reviews appeared initially in "The Commercial Dispatch" and "The Planet Weekly" and then later in the comment archives at the Internet Movie Database. IMDB.COM, however, imposes a limit on both the number of words and the number of times that an author may revise their comments. I hope that anybody who peruses these expanded reviews will find them useful.
Saturday, August 31, 2019
FILM REVIEW OF "CRAWL" (2019)
Hollywood has been making movies about ravenous alligators as far back as "Sparrows" (1926) when Mary Pickford guided a group of innocent, young orphans through a gator infested swamp. Twenty years ago, "Lake Placid" (1998) and its three sequels featured a large alligator with a voracious appetite. The first "Lake Placid" remains the best, so avoid the rest. Last year, Dwayne Johnson tangled with a supersized alligator in "Rampage." The Asylum has churned out its share of home video schlock about alligators, specifically "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" (2011), as well as the gator's distantly related cousin the crocodile. Numerically, sharks reign as Hollywood's alpha predator in more than 50 movies than either alligators or crocodiles. The latest gator epic is "Piranha 3D" director Alexandre Aja's "Crawl," (*** OUT OF ****) a weather-beaten disaster saga co-starring Barry Pepper and Kaya Scodelario as father and daughter trapped in the basement of a southwest Florida house during a Category 5 hurricane. Reportedly, an incident involving an actual gator attack on humans during Hurricane Florence inspired this film.
"Crawl" reminded me of "The Shallows" because it takes place in one location. Meantime, this atmospheric, white-knuckled, nail-biting yarn will keep you just as alert, poised on the edge of your seat, as you wait for the next gator strike. Aja & "Dark Feed" scenarists Michael Rasmussen and Shawn Rasmussen have done an exemplary job of establishing the characters, the setting, and the conflict. Ignoring evacuation warnings, a daughter risks her life to save her father from dying in an isolated community that has been evacuated under the worst possible weather conditions. No sooner have the filmmakers confined father and daughter to a hopeless position than two, hideous, heavily scaled, twenty-foot-long carnivores scour the basement for them while more circle outside it. Most of the action occurs beneath the house as the flood waters rise ominously, and our hero and heroine bide their time patiently before they try to break out.
Naturally, horror movies exaggerate evil because you're supposed to be frightened. Aja and his CGI wizards have forged some flawless gators that look remarkably believable. These gators are as ferocious as the gator in the crime thriller "Eraser" (1996) that a Witness Protection Specialist (Arnold Schwarzenegger) encountered. These reptiles act like black mambas. They see you. They devour you. At the very least, they snack on you, and the scary thing is how often father and daughter keep getting bitten but never shirk from their filial duty to fend for each other. Of course, real-life gators would be inclined to vamoose, but these melodramatic gators display no fear and hunt in groups. An overhead drone shot of a first responder in the water with gators approaching from all directions depicts their teamwork. The gators appear every bit as vicious as they sound when they crunch on the bones of their victims.
Lately, life hasn't been a picnic for Haley Keller (Kaya Scodelario of "The Maze Runner"), and her performance on the swim team at the University of Florida at Gainesville hasn't been what she expected. Haley's older sister Beth (Morfydd Clark of "Love & Friendship") rings her up because she hasn't been able to reach their father. Haley tries to contact him, but she fares no better. Finally, she ignores the stern warnings of the authorities, and she strikes out on her own. She finds her father at their childhood house which evokes memories of happier days with her mother and sister. Dave Keller (Barry Pepper of "Saving Private Ryan") was repairing the house when an alligator blundered into the basement and took a bite out of his shoulder. Dave has taken refuge behind a series of pipes that the gator can neither squeeze through nor destroy with its jaws. Imagine Haley's shock when she is confronted by one of these huge critters after she trotted down the stairs into the basement. Miraculously, she evades the big lizard, but loses her cell phone, and must risk her neck to retrieve it.
Aja and his writers knew that cornering our hero and heroine under such circumstances generates spine-tingling suspense, but to concentrate strictly on them as they await their fate would exhaust our patience. When disasters strike, looters take advantage of the predicament, and "Crawl" has a family of brothers and sister looting a convenience store. They arrived by boat, and they are the only living beings that a desperate Haley sees as she struggles to come up with a plan-B. Little do these looters know what awaits them as several gators cruise in for a killing. The looters confiscate a money machine, but they never get to see the rewards of their crime. When these gators attack, they are fearless, and they swim in groups to maximize their attacks on humans. Naturally, the looters and later the authorities have no clue what lurks beneath the trembling flood waters, and they pay a tragic price for their ignorance. The threat of death lurks constantly around Haley and Dave, and matters worsen throughout its scanty 87 minutes. Aja wrings considerable suspense out of Haley's desperate bursts of swimming to dodge the gators. Dave warns her not to swim out through a pipeline beneath the house because the gators entered the basement through it. Nevertheless, Haley finds no alternatives as the waters rise and swims cautiously along it until she glimpses a huge gator cruising past the opening. Like all stomach-churning chillers, "Crawl" knows when to spring unexpected jump scares on audiences. One of the scariest is a tree which bursts through a kitchen window with such spontaneity that it catches you off-guard. The cat and mouse game between Haley and the increasing number of gators heightens the horror and tension. At one point, she has her hand trapped in a gator's mouth and must free herself without losing her fingers.
An ideal outing for either a rainy day or night, "Crawl" delivers thrills and chills galore with creatures that will make your skin crawl.
"Crawl" reminded me of "The Shallows" because it takes place in one location. Meantime, this atmospheric, white-knuckled, nail-biting yarn will keep you just as alert, poised on the edge of your seat, as you wait for the next gator strike. Aja & "Dark Feed" scenarists Michael Rasmussen and Shawn Rasmussen have done an exemplary job of establishing the characters, the setting, and the conflict. Ignoring evacuation warnings, a daughter risks her life to save her father from dying in an isolated community that has been evacuated under the worst possible weather conditions. No sooner have the filmmakers confined father and daughter to a hopeless position than two, hideous, heavily scaled, twenty-foot-long carnivores scour the basement for them while more circle outside it. Most of the action occurs beneath the house as the flood waters rise ominously, and our hero and heroine bide their time patiently before they try to break out.
Naturally, horror movies exaggerate evil because you're supposed to be frightened. Aja and his CGI wizards have forged some flawless gators that look remarkably believable. These gators are as ferocious as the gator in the crime thriller "Eraser" (1996) that a Witness Protection Specialist (Arnold Schwarzenegger) encountered. These reptiles act like black mambas. They see you. They devour you. At the very least, they snack on you, and the scary thing is how often father and daughter keep getting bitten but never shirk from their filial duty to fend for each other. Of course, real-life gators would be inclined to vamoose, but these melodramatic gators display no fear and hunt in groups. An overhead drone shot of a first responder in the water with gators approaching from all directions depicts their teamwork. The gators appear every bit as vicious as they sound when they crunch on the bones of their victims.
Lately, life hasn't been a picnic for Haley Keller (Kaya Scodelario of "The Maze Runner"), and her performance on the swim team at the University of Florida at Gainesville hasn't been what she expected. Haley's older sister Beth (Morfydd Clark of "Love & Friendship") rings her up because she hasn't been able to reach their father. Haley tries to contact him, but she fares no better. Finally, she ignores the stern warnings of the authorities, and she strikes out on her own. She finds her father at their childhood house which evokes memories of happier days with her mother and sister. Dave Keller (Barry Pepper of "Saving Private Ryan") was repairing the house when an alligator blundered into the basement and took a bite out of his shoulder. Dave has taken refuge behind a series of pipes that the gator can neither squeeze through nor destroy with its jaws. Imagine Haley's shock when she is confronted by one of these huge critters after she trotted down the stairs into the basement. Miraculously, she evades the big lizard, but loses her cell phone, and must risk her neck to retrieve it.
Aja and his writers knew that cornering our hero and heroine under such circumstances generates spine-tingling suspense, but to concentrate strictly on them as they await their fate would exhaust our patience. When disasters strike, looters take advantage of the predicament, and "Crawl" has a family of brothers and sister looting a convenience store. They arrived by boat, and they are the only living beings that a desperate Haley sees as she struggles to come up with a plan-B. Little do these looters know what awaits them as several gators cruise in for a killing. The looters confiscate a money machine, but they never get to see the rewards of their crime. When these gators attack, they are fearless, and they swim in groups to maximize their attacks on humans. Naturally, the looters and later the authorities have no clue what lurks beneath the trembling flood waters, and they pay a tragic price for their ignorance. The threat of death lurks constantly around Haley and Dave, and matters worsen throughout its scanty 87 minutes. Aja wrings considerable suspense out of Haley's desperate bursts of swimming to dodge the gators. Dave warns her not to swim out through a pipeline beneath the house because the gators entered the basement through it. Nevertheless, Haley finds no alternatives as the waters rise and swims cautiously along it until she glimpses a huge gator cruising past the opening. Like all stomach-churning chillers, "Crawl" knows when to spring unexpected jump scares on audiences. One of the scariest is a tree which bursts through a kitchen window with such spontaneity that it catches you off-guard. The cat and mouse game between Haley and the increasing number of gators heightens the horror and tension. At one point, she has her hand trapped in a gator's mouth and must free herself without losing her fingers.
An ideal outing for either a rainy day or night, "Crawl" delivers thrills and chills galore with creatures that will make your skin crawl.
FILM REVIEW OF ''NAZI OVERLORD" (2018)
Abysmal best describes "Nazi Overlord," (* OUT OF ****) another of the Asylum's dreadful knockoff movies that desperately lacks humor. This 91-minute, straight-to-video release amounts to a particularly pale imitation of J.J. Abrams' "Overlord," with Jovan Adepo and Wyatt Russell. Naturally, the two pictures share obvious similarities. Each occurs during the historic D-Day landings at Normandy, France, in 1944. Technically, you can classify this World War II movie a secret mission deep in enemy country. Here, an Army Unit is ordered to Romania to bring back a rogue Allied female scientist who has been collaborating with the Nazis. You can also classify "Nazi Overlord" as bare-bones, low-budget, and it looks as if "Fortune Cookie" director Rob Pallatina lensed this movie with a camcorder. An animated graphic displays the fast progress of our heroes make across Europe to their destination. This was transitional device is acceptable because some American, World War II movies used similar transitions. The next time we see them, they are cruising around in a half-track, personnel carrier. This is a far cry from where things started. For a couple of minutes at the beginning, "Nazi Overlord" shows American G.I.s tangling face-to-face with German soldiers on the beach. Undoubtedly, this ranks as the strongest scene in this woebegone World War II travesty. Soldiers start out wielding rifles and pistols, but wind up killing each other with their bare hands, down and dirty, with savage rage. Sadly, for a moment, this knock-off captured the pugnacity of war.
Captain Rodgers (Andrew Liberty of "Sex Tax: Based on a True Story") survives the brutality on the beach, and General Forrester (Tom Sizemore of "Saving Private Ryan") assigns him to lead his unit, with some deserters to locate and bring back the scientist, Dr. Eris (Dominique Swain of "Face/Off"). Incidentally, Swain bares her booty in one scene and her breasts in another. Although she shows up only in the last third, her crazy scientist character breathes a modicum of fresh air into this stale saga. Rodgers confides in Forrester that he feels the least qualified to lead the mission. Nevertheless, the Colonel sends him ahead. After all, the best heroes are always the reluctant ones.
The clueless people that produced "Nazi Overlord" must have never seen an episode of television's "Combat." The American soldiers here stand in the open and make easy targets for Nazi snipers. The M1 rifles look bigger than some of the Americans. There is no sense of camaraderie among these fellows. Few of the characters on both sides make a lasting impression. Fortunately, whoever supplied the firearms knew the range of guns well. Nobody carried anything that wasn't period correct. However, the captain and the lieutenant run around with officer's insignia emblazoned on the front of their helmets. Officers never displayed rank insignia for fear that snipers might exploit this advantage. The dastardly Dr. Eris is working on a Biblical plague and uses locusts to spread it. Unlike "Overlord," none of the German soldiers turn into psychotic zombies. Dr. Eris gets the drop on Captain Rodgers, and they have to witness the atrocities that she performs on her human Guinea pigs. Neither knee-slapping nor disgusting, these scenes simply look idiotic with the victims spurting blood, eventually exploding, with locust swarming around them.
Monotonous from fade-in to fade out, "Nazi Overlord" earns a star for not making the egregrious error of showing an integrated, black & white Army Unit as in "Overlord." Tom Sizemore takes top billing, but he isn't around long. You see him at the outset when he recruits Captain Rodgers and then at the end when he escorts our hero to meet the President. The idea of creating a plague using locust struck me as trivial. The experiments were mediocre and the blood effects were bland. Beware of "Nazi Overlord."
Captain Rodgers (Andrew Liberty of "Sex Tax: Based on a True Story") survives the brutality on the beach, and General Forrester (Tom Sizemore of "Saving Private Ryan") assigns him to lead his unit, with some deserters to locate and bring back the scientist, Dr. Eris (Dominique Swain of "Face/Off"). Incidentally, Swain bares her booty in one scene and her breasts in another. Although she shows up only in the last third, her crazy scientist character breathes a modicum of fresh air into this stale saga. Rodgers confides in Forrester that he feels the least qualified to lead the mission. Nevertheless, the Colonel sends him ahead. After all, the best heroes are always the reluctant ones.
The clueless people that produced "Nazi Overlord" must have never seen an episode of television's "Combat." The American soldiers here stand in the open and make easy targets for Nazi snipers. The M1 rifles look bigger than some of the Americans. There is no sense of camaraderie among these fellows. Few of the characters on both sides make a lasting impression. Fortunately, whoever supplied the firearms knew the range of guns well. Nobody carried anything that wasn't period correct. However, the captain and the lieutenant run around with officer's insignia emblazoned on the front of their helmets. Officers never displayed rank insignia for fear that snipers might exploit this advantage. The dastardly Dr. Eris is working on a Biblical plague and uses locusts to spread it. Unlike "Overlord," none of the German soldiers turn into psychotic zombies. Dr. Eris gets the drop on Captain Rodgers, and they have to witness the atrocities that she performs on her human Guinea pigs. Neither knee-slapping nor disgusting, these scenes simply look idiotic with the victims spurting blood, eventually exploding, with locust swarming around them.
Monotonous from fade-in to fade out, "Nazi Overlord" earns a star for not making the egregrious error of showing an integrated, black & white Army Unit as in "Overlord." Tom Sizemore takes top billing, but he isn't around long. You see him at the outset when he recruits Captain Rodgers and then at the end when he escorts our hero to meet the President. The idea of creating a plague using locust struck me as trivial. The experiments were mediocre and the blood effects were bland. Beware of "Nazi Overlord."
FILM REVIEW OF ''THE PROFESSOR" (2019)
Johnny Depp is cast as a strait-laced English academic at a prestigious New England liberal arts college in director Wayne Roberts' wannabe tragicomedy "The Professor" (* OUT OF ****) who discovers he has terminal lung cancer. He is warned he has a year, perhaps a-year-and-a-half, if he commences appropriate medical treatment. If he waives treatment, however, he may last six months. Alas, Professor Richard Brown has never smoked cigarettes, and one of his closest friends finds it ironic that lung cancer will claim his life. Initially, he tries to break the news to his wife Veronica (Rosemarie DeWitt of "La La Land") as well as his teenage daughter Olivia (Odessa Young of "Assassination Nation") over dinner. Instead, Richard finds them obsessed with their own alarming revelations. Veronica reveals she has been cheating on Richard with his snobbish boss, Henry Wright (Ron Livingston of "Office Space"), the chancellor of the university, who happens to be married, too. Meantime, Richard's daughter admits she is gay. At this point, their dinner table conversation spirals. Veronica shows little empathy for her daughter's admission, and the two excuse themselves without waiting for Richard's bombshell. Eventually, he will tell them. These two scenes are about as spontaneous as "The Professor" gets for a movie which advertised as a whimsical comedy about cancer. Anybody who has either survived cancer (in whatever form) or has supported a loved one through the ordeal may find this woebegone misfire appalling. Basically, "The Professor" is neither clever enough to be genuinely funny nor impertinent enough to be darkly satirical. Roberts comes up nothing new about life with cancer except his own pathetic lack of imagination. Whatever attracted Depp to this shallow soap opera, originally entitled "Richard Says Goodbye," must have been discarded on the editing room floor.
Cancer charts a different course for Richard Brown than he would have taken. We learn the same time Richard does that malignant tumors in his upper back account for the pain he has suffered for quite some time. Indeed, nothing about his condition has changed. Mind you, Doctor Barron (Michael Kopsa of "Countdown") spells out the awful truth. The cancer has now spread to Richard's spine and adrenals. Inevitably, Richard will die, and nothing can save him from this dreadful fate. Nevertheless, Brown keeps his troubles to himself, so he can teach for another quarter and then obtain a sabbatical. Eventually, he confides in his oldest friend, Peter (Danny Huston of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"), who breaks down in grief-stricken anguish at the news. The odd thing about "The Professor" is the supporting cast is more captivating than its simple-minded protagonist. Richard demands a sabbatical. Peter doesn't think he can grant the request.
Meantime, the quarter semester commences. Suddenly, Richard has a momentary, last-minute meltdown in the university millpond with a distraught duck. Afterward, he shows up in class for what constitutes one of the film's better scenes. College professors know what the first day is like. Most have an inkling about how everything will play out. Richard takes one look at his packed class and shocks them. Separating the wheat from the chaff, he offers anybody who wants to skip class for the entire quarter a grade of C. Eventually, Richard whittles the student population down to the size of a cozy graduate seminar. No longer does Richard want to contend with students whose classroom attendance is spotty. He runs off three kinds of students: those in sweat pants, those who've never read a book, and those who're business majors. Finally, the remainder must arrive punctually and read Herman Melville's classic "Moby Dick." The diverse supporting cast comes to the fore, and each forges believable student characters for themselves.
"The Professor" breaks down into various teaching scenes. Richard indulges in liquor by convening class in a bar. He counsels his student to never squander one second of life, but to plunge into it for the sake of adventure. During the class in the bar, Richard escorts a bar maid into the men's room where they enjoy standing room only sex. Presumably, Richard and Veronica's marriage withered after Olivia's birth, and husband and wife drifted apart. Later, in clear sight of everybody at the university, including Chancellor Henry Wright, Richard shares a joint with a male student who earlier had given him a bag of pot brownies in exchange for oral sex. Remember, it's an R-rated movie with no frontal nudity. Richard defies the rules for the sake of it, and his status as a tenured professor shields him from any repercussions. Henry tries to take Richard down a couple of notches, but our hero outsmarts him. Since he is carousing with Richard's wife, Henry realizes that discretion is the better part of his valor. This showdown between Richard and Henry marks Depp's most heroic moment as he gains the upper hand.
Sadly, Depp generates little charisma as he struggles to maintain a straight face and welcomes cancer as an excuse to create his own bucket list. He proclaims himself a libertine open to any new experience. Afterward, apart from a night in the hospital and some recurring bouts of illness, Richard remains immaculate. When he hurts, he clutches his sides and collapses on the floor. Never in "The Professor" does our protagonist soil his apparel during a seizure. Never does he let his fashionably combed hair to dishevel. Richard's friends treat these moments as life threatening and rush to him. Essentially, our hero changes little over the course of the film's 90-minute running time. He treats Olivia with positive fatherly love and counsels Veronica to keep her sexual escapades discreet. At one point, encouraged to attend a therapeutic self-help group, Richard retreats in contemptuous defiance to a bar drown his distress. Don't worry about the ending. Nothing traumatic occurs. Our hero cruises serenely into the dark night without a regret. Melancholy at best, dreary at worst, "The Professor" thumbs its nose up at cancer as if it were a trifle.
Cancer charts a different course for Richard Brown than he would have taken. We learn the same time Richard does that malignant tumors in his upper back account for the pain he has suffered for quite some time. Indeed, nothing about his condition has changed. Mind you, Doctor Barron (Michael Kopsa of "Countdown") spells out the awful truth. The cancer has now spread to Richard's spine and adrenals. Inevitably, Richard will die, and nothing can save him from this dreadful fate. Nevertheless, Brown keeps his troubles to himself, so he can teach for another quarter and then obtain a sabbatical. Eventually, he confides in his oldest friend, Peter (Danny Huston of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"), who breaks down in grief-stricken anguish at the news. The odd thing about "The Professor" is the supporting cast is more captivating than its simple-minded protagonist. Richard demands a sabbatical. Peter doesn't think he can grant the request.
Meantime, the quarter semester commences. Suddenly, Richard has a momentary, last-minute meltdown in the university millpond with a distraught duck. Afterward, he shows up in class for what constitutes one of the film's better scenes. College professors know what the first day is like. Most have an inkling about how everything will play out. Richard takes one look at his packed class and shocks them. Separating the wheat from the chaff, he offers anybody who wants to skip class for the entire quarter a grade of C. Eventually, Richard whittles the student population down to the size of a cozy graduate seminar. No longer does Richard want to contend with students whose classroom attendance is spotty. He runs off three kinds of students: those in sweat pants, those who've never read a book, and those who're business majors. Finally, the remainder must arrive punctually and read Herman Melville's classic "Moby Dick." The diverse supporting cast comes to the fore, and each forges believable student characters for themselves.
"The Professor" breaks down into various teaching scenes. Richard indulges in liquor by convening class in a bar. He counsels his student to never squander one second of life, but to plunge into it for the sake of adventure. During the class in the bar, Richard escorts a bar maid into the men's room where they enjoy standing room only sex. Presumably, Richard and Veronica's marriage withered after Olivia's birth, and husband and wife drifted apart. Later, in clear sight of everybody at the university, including Chancellor Henry Wright, Richard shares a joint with a male student who earlier had given him a bag of pot brownies in exchange for oral sex. Remember, it's an R-rated movie with no frontal nudity. Richard defies the rules for the sake of it, and his status as a tenured professor shields him from any repercussions. Henry tries to take Richard down a couple of notches, but our hero outsmarts him. Since he is carousing with Richard's wife, Henry realizes that discretion is the better part of his valor. This showdown between Richard and Henry marks Depp's most heroic moment as he gains the upper hand.
Sadly, Depp generates little charisma as he struggles to maintain a straight face and welcomes cancer as an excuse to create his own bucket list. He proclaims himself a libertine open to any new experience. Afterward, apart from a night in the hospital and some recurring bouts of illness, Richard remains immaculate. When he hurts, he clutches his sides and collapses on the floor. Never in "The Professor" does our protagonist soil his apparel during a seizure. Never does he let his fashionably combed hair to dishevel. Richard's friends treat these moments as life threatening and rush to him. Essentially, our hero changes little over the course of the film's 90-minute running time. He treats Olivia with positive fatherly love and counsels Veronica to keep her sexual escapades discreet. At one point, encouraged to attend a therapeutic self-help group, Richard retreats in contemptuous defiance to a bar drown his distress. Don't worry about the ending. Nothing traumatic occurs. Our hero cruises serenely into the dark night without a regret. Melancholy at best, dreary at worst, "The Professor" thumbs its nose up at cancer as if it were a trifle.
FILM REVIEW OF "ABDUCTION" (2019)
Hollywood makes three kinds of sci-fi flicks. First, epics that occur in space. Second, stories that transpire on Earth. Third, yarns that utilize both settings. "Abduction" (** OUT OF ****) qualifies as the second. The premise of "Assassination Games" director Ernie Barbarash's "Abduction," a tolerably cheesy sci-fi saga mashed up with a crime thriller, is utterly preposterous. The elaborate but convoluted premise virtually defies synopsis. Imagine the kind of movie those schlockmeisters at Asylum Studios would crank out about 'aliens trafficking in humans,' and you'll see why "Abduction" earns points for its goofy SyFy Channel charm. Aliens from another dimension can "bend space time," but they're are running out of that commodity. When they entered our world, they disrupted our three-dimensions and wound up marooned here ever since. Apparently, these aliens-called 'Visitors'--had established contact earlier with the ancient Chinese back in the Stone Age. While time ticks away at their expense, the Visitors have embarked on a hunt for humans with either "specific genetic codes" or exceptional 'chi.' The pseudoscience of Feng shui plays a critical part in the flawed navigational system of the Visitor's starship. These singular humans can produce enough chi to propel the Visitors through the three-dimensional matter in the Earth's gravitational pull. None of these humans, however, will survive the journey. Basically, all you need to know is that the Visitors have abducted Scott Adkins' daughter and nothing is going to stop our hero from getting her back alive. Clearly, Barbarash and "Operation Rogue" writer Michael MacLean have appropriated "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and combined it with "Taken."
These sinister aliens, sauntering around in dark robes with hoods covering their cadaverous faces, are fairly straightforward. Not only do they speak in predictably ominous tones, but they also can emit a light from the palms of their hands. Near the end of this nimble 97-minute nonsense, the Visitors unveil themselves in their native form as towering, green, crystalline, warriors. Omniscient and infallible as these Visitors appear, they make a supreme error when they abduct British SWAT team leader Andrew Quinn (Scott Adkins of "Avengement") and his adolescent daughter Lucy simultaneously. As one of two protagonists in this buddy picture, Quinn searches desperately for his missing daughter. She is one of many Earthlings shanghaied by these space invaders to salvage their malfunctioning navigation system. In a parallel plot, a deadly assassin who has never missed a single shot in his entire life, Connor (Andy On of "Zombie Fight Club"), promises his wife he will quit killing people for an Asian crime syndicate. Connor yearns to turn over a new leaf. Unexpectedly, the Visitors clad like monks in robes materialize mysteriously in his apartment and abduct his wife. Inevitably, Quinn and Connor collide with each other when they tangle with these formidable aliens. Connor tries to shoot them, but they dissolve his bullets into dust!
"Abduction" unfolds in a gloomy warehouse where a huge, sweaty thug trundles unconscious humans around in a wheelbarrow. Quinn finds himself among other less fortunate humans who the aliens have seized as slave labor. These woebegone souls have a spider-like apparatus attached to the nape of their necks with a glowing jade emerald at the center. The atmosphere is ominous as Quinn fights one of the monks and takes a blow to the chest that literally knocks him backwards some twenty feet or more through a solid brick wall of a towering temple to plunge into a watery abyss. Miraculously, Quinn survives the fall! After he climbs out of the water, Quinn discovers he is in Vietnam at the Victory Fountain Park in Ho Chi Minh City. Wandering the city without a clue, he lives like a vagrant until the police arrest him and turn him over to hospital authorities for observation. Quinn suffers from the effects of time travel. Not only does he stutter unless slapped, but he also has become an amnesiac. Eventually, he tells his tale of woe to a Vietnamese doctor, psychiatrist Dr. Anna Pham (Truong Ngoc Anh of "Truy Sat"), about aliens abducting his daughter on Sunday, 7 January 1985. Imagine our hero's shock and stupefaction when Dr. Pham informs him the year is 2018. Quinn is appalled at this revelation, but he convinces Dr. Pham that he is no lunatic. When they consult with her elderly mentor, Dr. Dao (Aki Aleong of "Pound of Flesh"), the latter explains how the aliens use Feng shui as a navigational tool which will enable them to leave the earth.
Presumably, Quinn and his daughter were caught in the same net. He managed to escape and tracked her down. The aliens thwarted his initial rescue attempt. Although Quinn was one of many humans the Visitors grabbed, he lacked the "specific genetic codes," so they relegated him to drone ranks with the emerald apparatus. Principally, "Abduction" harkens back to the post-apocalyptic, sci-fi television show "Falling Skies" (2011 to 2015) on TNT, where enemy aliens captured humans and controlled them with a similar spinal contraption. Barbarash has done his share of action movies with Jean-Claude Van Damme, so he is no stranger to martial arts actioneers. As outlandish as the sci-fi plot is, "Abduction" musters occasional footholds of gravity with Barbarash's acrobatic staging of various fight scenes. He focuses on the collective plight of Scott Adkins and Andy On. Their shenanigans with martial arts and silenced pistols proves far more cinematic than these monolithic, CGI-forged, extra-terrestrials. As villains, the Visitors are comparably lukewarm. Early action depicting Connor's clash with a trigger-happy gang of Russians boasts ramped up levels of violence comparable to Keanu Reeves' "John Wick" shoot'em ups. Adkins is comparable to Roddy Piper in John Carpenter's "They Live" (1988), while On is the equivalent of Chow Yun Fat in John Woo's "The Killer" (1989). "Abduction" qualifies as the kind of picture best watched with lots of beer and pizza, but it has none of the electrifying intensity of "Avengement," another recent Scott Adkins outing.
These sinister aliens, sauntering around in dark robes with hoods covering their cadaverous faces, are fairly straightforward. Not only do they speak in predictably ominous tones, but they also can emit a light from the palms of their hands. Near the end of this nimble 97-minute nonsense, the Visitors unveil themselves in their native form as towering, green, crystalline, warriors. Omniscient and infallible as these Visitors appear, they make a supreme error when they abduct British SWAT team leader Andrew Quinn (Scott Adkins of "Avengement") and his adolescent daughter Lucy simultaneously. As one of two protagonists in this buddy picture, Quinn searches desperately for his missing daughter. She is one of many Earthlings shanghaied by these space invaders to salvage their malfunctioning navigation system. In a parallel plot, a deadly assassin who has never missed a single shot in his entire life, Connor (Andy On of "Zombie Fight Club"), promises his wife he will quit killing people for an Asian crime syndicate. Connor yearns to turn over a new leaf. Unexpectedly, the Visitors clad like monks in robes materialize mysteriously in his apartment and abduct his wife. Inevitably, Quinn and Connor collide with each other when they tangle with these formidable aliens. Connor tries to shoot them, but they dissolve his bullets into dust!
"Abduction" unfolds in a gloomy warehouse where a huge, sweaty thug trundles unconscious humans around in a wheelbarrow. Quinn finds himself among other less fortunate humans who the aliens have seized as slave labor. These woebegone souls have a spider-like apparatus attached to the nape of their necks with a glowing jade emerald at the center. The atmosphere is ominous as Quinn fights one of the monks and takes a blow to the chest that literally knocks him backwards some twenty feet or more through a solid brick wall of a towering temple to plunge into a watery abyss. Miraculously, Quinn survives the fall! After he climbs out of the water, Quinn discovers he is in Vietnam at the Victory Fountain Park in Ho Chi Minh City. Wandering the city without a clue, he lives like a vagrant until the police arrest him and turn him over to hospital authorities for observation. Quinn suffers from the effects of time travel. Not only does he stutter unless slapped, but he also has become an amnesiac. Eventually, he tells his tale of woe to a Vietnamese doctor, psychiatrist Dr. Anna Pham (Truong Ngoc Anh of "Truy Sat"), about aliens abducting his daughter on Sunday, 7 January 1985. Imagine our hero's shock and stupefaction when Dr. Pham informs him the year is 2018. Quinn is appalled at this revelation, but he convinces Dr. Pham that he is no lunatic. When they consult with her elderly mentor, Dr. Dao (Aki Aleong of "Pound of Flesh"), the latter explains how the aliens use Feng shui as a navigational tool which will enable them to leave the earth.
Presumably, Quinn and his daughter were caught in the same net. He managed to escape and tracked her down. The aliens thwarted his initial rescue attempt. Although Quinn was one of many humans the Visitors grabbed, he lacked the "specific genetic codes," so they relegated him to drone ranks with the emerald apparatus. Principally, "Abduction" harkens back to the post-apocalyptic, sci-fi television show "Falling Skies" (2011 to 2015) on TNT, where enemy aliens captured humans and controlled them with a similar spinal contraption. Barbarash has done his share of action movies with Jean-Claude Van Damme, so he is no stranger to martial arts actioneers. As outlandish as the sci-fi plot is, "Abduction" musters occasional footholds of gravity with Barbarash's acrobatic staging of various fight scenes. He focuses on the collective plight of Scott Adkins and Andy On. Their shenanigans with martial arts and silenced pistols proves far more cinematic than these monolithic, CGI-forged, extra-terrestrials. As villains, the Visitors are comparably lukewarm. Early action depicting Connor's clash with a trigger-happy gang of Russians boasts ramped up levels of violence comparable to Keanu Reeves' "John Wick" shoot'em ups. Adkins is comparable to Roddy Piper in John Carpenter's "They Live" (1988), while On is the equivalent of Chow Yun Fat in John Woo's "The Killer" (1989). "Abduction" qualifies as the kind of picture best watched with lots of beer and pizza, but it has none of the electrifying intensity of "Avengement," another recent Scott Adkins outing.
FILM REVIEW OF ''VAULT" (2019)
"Almost Mercy" writer & director Tom DeNucci and co-scenarist B. Dalton bite off more than they can chew in "Vault," (** OUT OF ****) an ambitious but humdrum portrayal of a momentous robbery that also heralded the decline of La Cosa Nostra in America. Basically, "Vault" depicts a little known but spectacular $34 million robbery committed by two small-time hoods who never learned that crime doesn't pay. The infamous robbery took place on the morning of August 14, 1975, at the Hudson Fur Storage at 101 Cranston Street in Providence's West Side in Rhode Island. Not only did they pull off this once-in-a-lifetime robbery without casualties, but they also got clean away with more loot than you can ever imagine. Afterward, however, they discover that claiming their share of the loot would be an involved and drawn-out proposition. Up-and-coming thespians Theo Rossi and Clive Standen, who headline this low-budget crime saga, orchestrate the operation in this cliché riddled heist caper. Several familiar crime genre stalwarts, Chazz Palminteri, Don Johnson, William Forsythe, Burt Young, Andrew Divoff, and Victor Pastore, provide sturdy support in peripheral roles in this 99-minute, R-rated potboiler. DeNucci and company score brownie points galore for restoring the year 1975 with nothing egregious to burst the nostalgic bubble. Unfortunately, DeNucci isn't as gifted a maestro as Martin Scorsese, especially since his historic Mafia heist in "Goodfellas" (1990), co-starring Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta, shares certain similarities with "Vault." Despite its' commendable production values, "Vault" generates little excitement, resorts to hackneyed movie formulas, and ultimately tempts you to fast-forward the action to fadeout. Indeed, crime doesn't pay in "Vault," but the authorities have never able to prove in court without a shadow of a doubt who ordered the robbery. DeNucci and Dalton have their own take on the mystery man. The action boils down to criminals versus criminals. In fact, the police are seen only occasionally! At the same time, DeNucci chronicles the friendship between the two protagonists, Deuce (Theo Rossi of "Cloverfield") and Chucky (Clive Standen of "Patient Zero"), who met when they were fifteen. DeNucci delivers few surprises along the way, and the action is wholly derivative. The supreme irony of "Vault" is the Mafia may have been the culprits who made off with the $34 million. Crime buffs may tolerate it once but watching it more than once might be sleep inducing.
Tom DeNucci covers a lot of ground with little flair in this half-baked but historically exciting yarn. During the opening 30 minutes, DeNucci and Dalton introduce Deuce and Chucky, and their first scene together is reminiscent of a Tarantino conversation from one of his early films. Poised to rob a pawnshop, Deuce refuses to wear a mask. Futilely, Chucky argues with him about wearing a mask. Everybody will only remember the muzzle of his revolver, Deuce rants, rather than his facial features. Eventually, Chucky relents and then sheds his own mask. The two gunmen enter the store and brandish their weapons. All but one of the employees, Karyn (Samira Wiley of "Rob the Mob"), refuses to cooperate with Deuce's revolver staring her in the face. Deuce marvels at Karyn's defiance and finds himself attracted to this fearless African American dame. Oddly enough, despite her initial hostility, Karyn reciprocates Deuce's interest. Later, she accompanies Deuce home and samples his mother's cooking. Meanwhile, Deuce and Chucky get too big for their britches and try to rob two banks in the same day. Indeed, they might have gotten away with it, had Deuce not enlisted his younger brother, Tommy (Michael Zuccola of "Erebus"), as their getaway driver. As he listens to the police-band radio, Tommy loses his nerve and splits seconds before Deuce and Chucky dive into the backseat. The police surprise the pair, and they land in prison. A shady Frenchman, Gerry Quimette (Don Johnson of "Miami Vice") recruits them as bodyguards to protect him from the Mafia. Since he is French, Gerry cannot become a Made-Man, and Mafia chieftain Raymond Patriarca (Chazz Palminteri of "The Usual Suspects") isn't happy with Gerry's blasphemous request. Nevertheless, Raymond and Gerry have a complicated history of collaboration, and Gerry knows more about Mafia business than any non-Italian could and still rise for breakfast each day. After our protagonists are released from prison, Gerry contacts them about a heist at the Hudson Fur Company. He promises them each a $70-thousand payday. Initially, Deuce is leery about it, but Chucky persuades him to change his mind. They hire five accomplices to help them clean out about 146 safety deposit boxes in a huge commercial vault at a private warehouse. Nobody has ever dared to rob Hudson Furs, probably because everybody knew it was a Mafia safehouse.
DeNucci directs "Vault" as if it were a documentary. First, neither Deuce nor Chucky engage our sympathy. Low-life thieves that these characters are, the enigmatic actors portraying them struggle to give them any redeeming qualities. Little about Deuce and Chucky is likeable. Second, by the time these two give up the ghost, you'll find nothing amusing about their naïveté. Morally, DeNucci glorifies neither the crime nor the criminals. DeNucci stages the heist, but he doesn't generate a palatable sense of either dread or suspense. The actual robbery is more monotonous than nerve-racking. Our protagonists aren't even in the vault while their accomplices drill industriously into one safe deposit box after another, piling up heaps of currency on the floor. Meantime, Deuce and Chucky keep several Hudson Fur Storage employees at gunpoint. Indeed, "Vault" musters a surprise or two, and one is the reversal ending that surprises both of them. DeNucci helms the first two-thirds of "Vault" with efficiency rather than finesse, while the final third, where Deuce and Karyn reunite, spirals into boredom. At this point, you'd think these guys would have realized they would get their share of the lead instead of the loot. Despite the unique significance of its historical background, "Vault" qualifies as routine at best and uninspiring at worst.
Tom DeNucci covers a lot of ground with little flair in this half-baked but historically exciting yarn. During the opening 30 minutes, DeNucci and Dalton introduce Deuce and Chucky, and their first scene together is reminiscent of a Tarantino conversation from one of his early films. Poised to rob a pawnshop, Deuce refuses to wear a mask. Futilely, Chucky argues with him about wearing a mask. Everybody will only remember the muzzle of his revolver, Deuce rants, rather than his facial features. Eventually, Chucky relents and then sheds his own mask. The two gunmen enter the store and brandish their weapons. All but one of the employees, Karyn (Samira Wiley of "Rob the Mob"), refuses to cooperate with Deuce's revolver staring her in the face. Deuce marvels at Karyn's defiance and finds himself attracted to this fearless African American dame. Oddly enough, despite her initial hostility, Karyn reciprocates Deuce's interest. Later, she accompanies Deuce home and samples his mother's cooking. Meanwhile, Deuce and Chucky get too big for their britches and try to rob two banks in the same day. Indeed, they might have gotten away with it, had Deuce not enlisted his younger brother, Tommy (Michael Zuccola of "Erebus"), as their getaway driver. As he listens to the police-band radio, Tommy loses his nerve and splits seconds before Deuce and Chucky dive into the backseat. The police surprise the pair, and they land in prison. A shady Frenchman, Gerry Quimette (Don Johnson of "Miami Vice") recruits them as bodyguards to protect him from the Mafia. Since he is French, Gerry cannot become a Made-Man, and Mafia chieftain Raymond Patriarca (Chazz Palminteri of "The Usual Suspects") isn't happy with Gerry's blasphemous request. Nevertheless, Raymond and Gerry have a complicated history of collaboration, and Gerry knows more about Mafia business than any non-Italian could and still rise for breakfast each day. After our protagonists are released from prison, Gerry contacts them about a heist at the Hudson Fur Company. He promises them each a $70-thousand payday. Initially, Deuce is leery about it, but Chucky persuades him to change his mind. They hire five accomplices to help them clean out about 146 safety deposit boxes in a huge commercial vault at a private warehouse. Nobody has ever dared to rob Hudson Furs, probably because everybody knew it was a Mafia safehouse.
DeNucci directs "Vault" as if it were a documentary. First, neither Deuce nor Chucky engage our sympathy. Low-life thieves that these characters are, the enigmatic actors portraying them struggle to give them any redeeming qualities. Little about Deuce and Chucky is likeable. Second, by the time these two give up the ghost, you'll find nothing amusing about their naïveté. Morally, DeNucci glorifies neither the crime nor the criminals. DeNucci stages the heist, but he doesn't generate a palatable sense of either dread or suspense. The actual robbery is more monotonous than nerve-racking. Our protagonists aren't even in the vault while their accomplices drill industriously into one safe deposit box after another, piling up heaps of currency on the floor. Meantime, Deuce and Chucky keep several Hudson Fur Storage employees at gunpoint. Indeed, "Vault" musters a surprise or two, and one is the reversal ending that surprises both of them. DeNucci helms the first two-thirds of "Vault" with efficiency rather than finesse, while the final third, where Deuce and Karyn reunite, spirals into boredom. At this point, you'd think these guys would have realized they would get their share of the lead instead of the loot. Despite the unique significance of its historical background, "Vault" qualifies as routine at best and uninspiring at worst.
FILM REVIEW OF ''ATTRITION" (2019)
Surprisingly, the latest Steven Seagal actioneer "Attrition" (**1/2 OUT OF ****) qualifies as a notch above the last 36 movies he has starred in since "Half-Past Dead" (2002). Basically, a standard-issue abduction yarn, with a dash of fantasy, "Attrition" benefits from Seagal's above average but formulaic screenplay as well as "Borderland" French director Mathieu Weschler's polished helming. Weschler's touch permeates this by-the-numbers crime melodrama and makes everything palatable. He imparts a sense of spontaneity rarely seen in Seagal's quickly made, contrived, cookie cutter sagas. Jordan Dieselberg's editing, Vincent Vieillard-Baron's widescreen cinematography, and Can Aydin's dynamic stunt work--involving at least 33 Asian stunt men--are all impeccably forged into a unified whole. You don't witness this level of craftsmanship in most run-of-the-mill Seagal shoot'em ups. Predictably, the star casts himself as another durable, but conscious-stricken government Black Ops agent who renounces violence. He hangs up his guns and disbands his unit. Axe (Steven Seagal of "Under Siege") pledges to atone for the lifetime of death and destruction that he has inflicted over the years. Genuinely contrite, he channels his energies and expertise as a doctor to serve the people of a poor, remote, jungle community.
Mind you, with its human trafficking, narcotics smuggling, and martial arts faceoffs, you've seen variants of "Attrition" with other genre stalwarts, such as Jackie Chan. Seagal plays the tall, dark, bearded Axe as a truly sympathetic fellow in this gritty, homicidal thriller. The scene where he persuades a desperate dad to refrain from committing suicide so his young son will not face an orphan's future is incredibly sentimental. Furthermore, "Attrition" boasts two other scenes where different characters break down and gush tears of gratitude for the compassion shown them. In another scene, a character learns his Master is his own father! Reportedly, Seagal planned a scene about Chinese girls mud wrestling in the nude, but Weschler convinced him to remove this objectionable scene since it would have been incompatible with the film's somber tone. The genius of Weschler's direction is that he doesn't wear out either his welcome or Seagal's with this nimble, atmospheric, 85-minute, R-rated actioneer. Naturally, the despicable villains are no match for our invincible heroes, and the final assault on Qmom's lair is staged with both flair and efficiency. Nobody gives a bad performance, and the sprawling Thai scenery is breathtaking. None of this, of course, will matter to most Segalites, but they will be rewarded amply with a firefight at the outset and even greater one during the third act.
Our conscientious hero and his Black Ops team mount a rescue operation during the murky pre-credit sequence of "Attrition," with Axe providing some insightful, voice-over narration that reflects his philosophy. "The weight of war is a heavy burden to bear. Some say it's a necessity, a stage on which good can triumph over evil. But sometimes, the cost is too great to justify the means. For all the lines that have been crossed in the name of justice, taking a life for a life will only perpetuate the cycle. The war must be fought from within. It would take a lifetime to make amends for the terrible things I've done." As Axe and his heavily armed team blast their way into a dilapidated factory, they slaughter the opposition without a qualm. Their triumph over evil is short-lived. Axe discovers that the object of their mission, a beautiful young girl, has bled out from a chest wound. Three years later, our hero settles in the Far East, abides by the teachings of Buddha, and uses his medical skills to alleviate suffering among the destitute in the jungles of Thailand. Axe turns away nobody from his non-profit clinic.
Inevitably, Axe's serenity is shattered after the sinister villain, Qmom (Kang Yu of "Kung Fu Jungle"), dispatches his gimlet-eyed henchmen to kidnap a twenty-year-old girl, Tara (newcomer Ting Sue), who refuses to accept Qmom's hospitality. An open-air market scene with hundreds of sheets draped across corridors of makeshift clothesline scaffolding demonstrates Weschler's flair. Qmom's men pursue Tara through this colorful maze. Nevertheless, the best efforts of our damsel-in-distress to elude the villains proves futile. The bad guys catch her and deliver her to Qmom. This tense scene bristles with kinetic energy and dazzling flashes of color. The freshly dyed, rectangular sheets hanging up on display break up the monotony of the humdrum settings. Later, Tara's brokenhearted father appeals to Axe for help. He explains his oldest daughter was born with an amazing gift to heal. Apparently, Qmom has kidnapped Tara because he believes she can heal him. This unsavory opium dealer lives in luxury in a nightclub/fortress, because he doesn't feel safe enough to venture out of it into the sunlight. He learns about Tara from a street gambler who owes him a bundle. The only derivative scene that stands out "Attrition" is Qmom's entrance. Our villain is shown sparring vigorously with a bloody punching bag. The bag splits open after Qmom concludes his workout, and out dangles a dead man's arm. Presumably, the James Bond extravaganza "Die Another Day" (2002), where the North Korean villain beat an adversary to death who was sewn up in a punching bag, may have inspired Weschler.
Since thirty-eight minutes has elapsed in "Attrition," you know that Axe cannot refuse the grieving father. Indeed, our hero has been awakened from his sleep by a winged angel who converses with him on more than one occasion about the forthcoming confrontation. Reluctantly, Axe reassembles his elite team of troubleshooters, in a flavorful homage to Sylvester Stallone's "Expendables" franchise as the heroes gather. They set out to rescue Tara. Unlike the opening scene with its ill-fated hostage, Axe resolves to see that the same outcome doesn't occur twice. Staunch Steven Seagal fans won't be disappointed with the slickly orchestrated "Attrition." The finale at Qmom's heavily guarded stronghold has everybody either tackling or killing bad guys. Watching Seagal give the arrogant opium dealer his just comeuppance is swell stuff.
Mind you, with its human trafficking, narcotics smuggling, and martial arts faceoffs, you've seen variants of "Attrition" with other genre stalwarts, such as Jackie Chan. Seagal plays the tall, dark, bearded Axe as a truly sympathetic fellow in this gritty, homicidal thriller. The scene where he persuades a desperate dad to refrain from committing suicide so his young son will not face an orphan's future is incredibly sentimental. Furthermore, "Attrition" boasts two other scenes where different characters break down and gush tears of gratitude for the compassion shown them. In another scene, a character learns his Master is his own father! Reportedly, Seagal planned a scene about Chinese girls mud wrestling in the nude, but Weschler convinced him to remove this objectionable scene since it would have been incompatible with the film's somber tone. The genius of Weschler's direction is that he doesn't wear out either his welcome or Seagal's with this nimble, atmospheric, 85-minute, R-rated actioneer. Naturally, the despicable villains are no match for our invincible heroes, and the final assault on Qmom's lair is staged with both flair and efficiency. Nobody gives a bad performance, and the sprawling Thai scenery is breathtaking. None of this, of course, will matter to most Segalites, but they will be rewarded amply with a firefight at the outset and even greater one during the third act.
Our conscientious hero and his Black Ops team mount a rescue operation during the murky pre-credit sequence of "Attrition," with Axe providing some insightful, voice-over narration that reflects his philosophy. "The weight of war is a heavy burden to bear. Some say it's a necessity, a stage on which good can triumph over evil. But sometimes, the cost is too great to justify the means. For all the lines that have been crossed in the name of justice, taking a life for a life will only perpetuate the cycle. The war must be fought from within. It would take a lifetime to make amends for the terrible things I've done." As Axe and his heavily armed team blast their way into a dilapidated factory, they slaughter the opposition without a qualm. Their triumph over evil is short-lived. Axe discovers that the object of their mission, a beautiful young girl, has bled out from a chest wound. Three years later, our hero settles in the Far East, abides by the teachings of Buddha, and uses his medical skills to alleviate suffering among the destitute in the jungles of Thailand. Axe turns away nobody from his non-profit clinic.
Inevitably, Axe's serenity is shattered after the sinister villain, Qmom (Kang Yu of "Kung Fu Jungle"), dispatches his gimlet-eyed henchmen to kidnap a twenty-year-old girl, Tara (newcomer Ting Sue), who refuses to accept Qmom's hospitality. An open-air market scene with hundreds of sheets draped across corridors of makeshift clothesline scaffolding demonstrates Weschler's flair. Qmom's men pursue Tara through this colorful maze. Nevertheless, the best efforts of our damsel-in-distress to elude the villains proves futile. The bad guys catch her and deliver her to Qmom. This tense scene bristles with kinetic energy and dazzling flashes of color. The freshly dyed, rectangular sheets hanging up on display break up the monotony of the humdrum settings. Later, Tara's brokenhearted father appeals to Axe for help. He explains his oldest daughter was born with an amazing gift to heal. Apparently, Qmom has kidnapped Tara because he believes she can heal him. This unsavory opium dealer lives in luxury in a nightclub/fortress, because he doesn't feel safe enough to venture out of it into the sunlight. He learns about Tara from a street gambler who owes him a bundle. The only derivative scene that stands out "Attrition" is Qmom's entrance. Our villain is shown sparring vigorously with a bloody punching bag. The bag splits open after Qmom concludes his workout, and out dangles a dead man's arm. Presumably, the James Bond extravaganza "Die Another Day" (2002), where the North Korean villain beat an adversary to death who was sewn up in a punching bag, may have inspired Weschler.
Since thirty-eight minutes has elapsed in "Attrition," you know that Axe cannot refuse the grieving father. Indeed, our hero has been awakened from his sleep by a winged angel who converses with him on more than one occasion about the forthcoming confrontation. Reluctantly, Axe reassembles his elite team of troubleshooters, in a flavorful homage to Sylvester Stallone's "Expendables" franchise as the heroes gather. They set out to rescue Tara. Unlike the opening scene with its ill-fated hostage, Axe resolves to see that the same outcome doesn't occur twice. Staunch Steven Seagal fans won't be disappointed with the slickly orchestrated "Attrition." The finale at Qmom's heavily guarded stronghold has everybody either tackling or killing bad guys. Watching Seagal give the arrogant opium dealer his just comeuppance is swell stuff.
FILM REVIEW OF "THE GOLDEN ARROW" (1962)
American actor Tab Hunter is cast as an Arabian prince in Italian director Antonio Margheriti's fourth film "The Golden Arrow," (*** OUT OF ****) a lavish, sword and sorcery, fantasy yarn about a dashing young gent who sets out to reclaim his rightful position in society after he learns that he is descended from royal blood. Sporting an anachronistic hair-style, Hunter knows nothing about his genuine biological father—the Sultan of Damascus--and remembers only the bandits that raised him from infancy. Scenarists Giorgio Arlorio of "The Mercenary," Augusto Frassinetti & Bruno Vailati of "The Thief of Bagdad," Giorgio Prosperi of "Indiscretion of an American Wife," and Filippo Sanjust of "The Seventh Sword," have cobbled together bits and pieces from other classic tales, such as the Arthurian legend about pulling Excalibur out of a rock, to forge their outrageous, entertaining, but formulaic epic. Hassan (Tab Hunter of "Damned Yankees") plays a man not only seeking to avenge his slain father but also marry an attractive princess and ascend to the throne of Damascus. The slim but muscular Hunter looks fit as a bandit chieftain, and he gets to perform his share of acrobatics in this far-fetch fable. Nevertheless, Hunter's fans may be disappointed to learn that the former teen heartthrob has been dubbed by another actor. Chiefly, the baritone voice of the other actor sounds more appropriate for an individual of his background. Although it is unmistakable everybody has been dubbed, the dubbing matches the lips better than most European adventures in the early 196os.
Hassan and his outcasts manage to enter to palace in Damascus where the festivities are scheduled to occur. A fair-sized crowd has assembled to see who can launch a golden arrow. The golden arrow is indeed unusual. The future ruler of Damascus as well as husband to the princess must be physically able to shoot the magic arrow. Furthermore, the arrow acts like a boomerang because it returns to the archer after it has found its mark. Three noble leaders struggle to let the arrow fly. Sadly, they fail in their efforts. Only one man can send the golden arrow streaking aloft. Hassan masquerades as a nobleman from the Islands of Flame, and he exhibits his uncanny power when he propels the arrow successfully into flight. Hassan exploits this ceremony as an opportunity to kidnap Jamila (Rossana Podestà of "Helen of Troy") and hold her for ransom. Ironically, he becomes so enamored of the princess that he double-crosses his cronies and releases her. The three suitors, the Prince of Bassora (Renato Baldini of "Snow Devils") and two others set out to find Jamila something that no other man can give her. She decides to make one of them her future husband when he brings back that something special. Ultimately, these three men fail, and the worst loser of the three is Bassora. Bassora leads his army against Damascus so he can claim Jamila as his bride. Predictably, Jamila has prayed to Allah, and the god dispatches three genies to help Hassan find the golden arrow and save Damascus from Bassora.
The widescreen cinematography of "Valdez is Coming" lenser Gábor Pogány is absolutely gorgeous. Every composition could easily accommodate a picture postcard. Mario Serandrei's editing is just as good. He doesn't allow shots to linger to the point of boredom. The production designs and set decoration are equally noteworthy. Everything about "The Golden Arrow" except its charming visual effects and formulaic looks really striking. Margheriti directs at a whirlwind pace and his scribes spring surprises often enough to keep these adolescent antics entertaining, though I suspect the depiction of the cultures may be inappropriate. Lastly, composer Mario Nascimbene provides an orchestral soundtrack that underscores each twist, and the theme for the genies is memorable. Some parts of the film were shot on location at Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut, Deir el Bahari, in Egypt. The sprawling, large-scale confrontation between Hassan and his genies atop flying carpets bombing the army of the Prince of Bassora is something you don't often see in movies. If you want clean, wholesome, juvenile entertainment, nothing about "The Golden Arrow" should offend you.
Hassan and his outcasts manage to enter to palace in Damascus where the festivities are scheduled to occur. A fair-sized crowd has assembled to see who can launch a golden arrow. The golden arrow is indeed unusual. The future ruler of Damascus as well as husband to the princess must be physically able to shoot the magic arrow. Furthermore, the arrow acts like a boomerang because it returns to the archer after it has found its mark. Three noble leaders struggle to let the arrow fly. Sadly, they fail in their efforts. Only one man can send the golden arrow streaking aloft. Hassan masquerades as a nobleman from the Islands of Flame, and he exhibits his uncanny power when he propels the arrow successfully into flight. Hassan exploits this ceremony as an opportunity to kidnap Jamila (Rossana Podestà of "Helen of Troy") and hold her for ransom. Ironically, he becomes so enamored of the princess that he double-crosses his cronies and releases her. The three suitors, the Prince of Bassora (Renato Baldini of "Snow Devils") and two others set out to find Jamila something that no other man can give her. She decides to make one of them her future husband when he brings back that something special. Ultimately, these three men fail, and the worst loser of the three is Bassora. Bassora leads his army against Damascus so he can claim Jamila as his bride. Predictably, Jamila has prayed to Allah, and the god dispatches three genies to help Hassan find the golden arrow and save Damascus from Bassora.
The widescreen cinematography of "Valdez is Coming" lenser Gábor Pogány is absolutely gorgeous. Every composition could easily accommodate a picture postcard. Mario Serandrei's editing is just as good. He doesn't allow shots to linger to the point of boredom. The production designs and set decoration are equally noteworthy. Everything about "The Golden Arrow" except its charming visual effects and formulaic looks really striking. Margheriti directs at a whirlwind pace and his scribes spring surprises often enough to keep these adolescent antics entertaining, though I suspect the depiction of the cultures may be inappropriate. Lastly, composer Mario Nascimbene provides an orchestral soundtrack that underscores each twist, and the theme for the genies is memorable. Some parts of the film were shot on location at Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut, Deir el Bahari, in Egypt. The sprawling, large-scale confrontation between Hassan and his genies atop flying carpets bombing the army of the Prince of Bassora is something you don't often see in movies. If you want clean, wholesome, juvenile entertainment, nothing about "The Golden Arrow" should offend you.
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