If you thought “Bad Santa” (2003)
was a hoot, you’ll holler at “Bad Santa 2.” Like its vulgar,
politically-incorrect predecessor, this rude, crude, lowest common denominator,
gross-out sequel scrapes the bottom of the toilet for bowel humor that may make
you gag. Oscar-winning Billy Bob Thornton of “Sling Blade” reprises his
role as lascivious, blasphemous, alcoholic, safecracker Willy Soke, who
masquerades as Santa Claus and listens to children’s gift requests on his
lap. Nevertheless, despite its contrived, often predictable,
by-the-numbers monkeyshines, “Bad Santa 2” (**** OUT OF ****) is an audaciously
sidesplitting saga, with corrosive dialogue that may either incinerate your
soul or prompt you to laugh with such vigor that you will cough at the same
time. After a thirteen-year hiatus, not only has Thornton shown up for
the sequel, but also teensy Tony Cox and chubby Brent Kelly have also returned
respectively as Marcus and Thurman. Lest we forget, Oscar-winner Octavia
Spencer of “The Help” appears briefly again as Opal the prostitute from the
original. The latest character to wade into this cesspool of hilarity is
Willy’s low-class, repugnant mother. Kathy Bates never stops surprising
us as Sunny Soke, a sleazy, silver-tongued, ex-con wreathed with biker tattoos
who wants to steal thousands of dollars. Sadly, Sunny has grown so
decrepit she cannot control her Parkinson’s and requires somebody with steady
fingers to crack a safe. Bates could easily have stolen “Bad Santa 2”
with her outlandish portrayal. Instead, Brent Kelly steals the show as simple-minded
moron Thurman Merman who keeps on obliviously weathering Willy’s vile torrents
of profanity about his shortcomings. Miraculously, Kelly maintains a look
of deadpan stupefaction throughout these rants that would have reduced a less
disciplined actor to ripples of belly laughter. Indeed, “Mean Girls”
director Mark Waters and freshman scenarist Johnny Rosenthal with “Whip It”
writer Shauna Cross spurn good taste repeatedly.
“Bad Santa 2” opens with Willy
(Billy Bob Thornton of “Fargo”) admitting that his life has been a travesty.
He never succeeds for one reason or another with his suicide attempts. He
is dangling from a ceiling lighting fixture when Thurman, the grown-up kid from
the original movie (Brett Kelly of “Unaccompanied Minors”), strolls into his
apartment and cannot fathom what Willy is doing. Eventually, Willy abandons
all efforts to hang himself, chiefly after Thurman empties a bag of money onto
his table. As it turns out Willy’s treacherous, accomplice from the first
film, the vertically-challenged Marcus Skidmore (Tony Cox of “Beetlejuice”),
has invited Willy to join him at a local restaurant so they can discuss business.
Of course, Willy doesn’t trust Markus because the latter tried to murder him in
the original. Marcus hasn’t been out of prison long, and he needs the
money. He explains that Willy’s mom has a plan to rob a high-profile,
Chicago-headquartered charity that will bulge their pockets with loot.
Eventually, Willy meets his estranged mother, Sunny (Kathy Bates of “Misery”),
again. She briefs him about the heist. You’d think any reunion
between mother and son would be a joyous, sentimental occasion, but it is far
from it. Willy has no fond memories of his mom. We learn during one
of their conversations that Willy took a fall for her at age eleven and did
time for Sunny’s crime. She confirms in her own words what an unfit mom
she was. Sunny cherishes the memory of Willy’s birth: “Hell, I didn’t
even know I’d given birth until I’d tripped over him.” Willy sidesteps
old animosities and pitches in with them to rip off the children’s
charity. As it turns out, a well-to-do married couple who are for all
practical purposes estranged conduct the charity. The charity resembles
the Salvation Army. Diane Hastings (Christina Hendricks of “Drive”) and
her husband Regent (Ryan Hansen of “G.I. Joe: Retaliation”) make it easy to
contribute to the cause. You can text your donation to it! What
Diane doesn’t realize is Regent is cheating on her with another employee.
Initially, Willy is not pleased that he must don a Santa Claus suit and solicit
donations on the street. At one point, he clashes with another Santa who
claims that Willy has stolen his spot. The two tangle on the curb, and
Willy lands in jail. Diane has the police release him and she allows
Willy to keep his Santa gig if he will accompany her to an Alcoholics Anonymous
meeting. Reluctantly, for the sake of Sunny and Marcus, Willy follows her,
and the two become sexually involved with each other. Meantime, Willy
doesn’t entirely trust his murderous, old nemesis Marcus. Remember,
Marcus tried to kill Willy in the original “Bad Santa.” Sunny convinces
Willy to let bygones be bygones. If things weren’t tense enough for
Willy, he discovers that Thurman has embarked on a journey to search for and
surprise him. Now, Willy must contend with this clueless klutz who wants
nothing more than to make him sandwiches. He arranges for Thurman to lose his
virginity to Olivia. Before she can accommodate him, Thurman flees in abject terror.
Basically, “Bad Santa 2”
regurgitates the same essential plot of the original, but it delivers greater
volumes of profanity and sexuality than the former. The F-word is used 180
times here rather than 130 in the original.
Meaning, the raunchy “Bad Santa 2” lives up to its R-rating “for crude
sexual content and language throughout, and some graphic nudity.” Waters
and his two writers have exercised such an extreme lack of good taste that “Bad
Santa 2” qualifies as a guilty pleasure. Incidentally, the filmmakers do refrain
from depicting murder this time around. You may cringe in retrospect that you
sank to such shallow depths of the sake of rib tickling glee. Some of
Sunny’s lines will keep you to cackling. If you indulge in this nonsense, your
demented soul will crave the prank in the end credits. Unlike any other movies
showing now, “Bad Santa 2” may provide you with some desperate relief from all
the Yuletide cheer.
