FILM REVIEW OF ''THE FAST AND FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS AND SHAW" (2019)

Villains make a movie memorable.  If the villains are smart, you’ve got “Die Hard.”  If the villains are stupid, you’ve got a comedy. A stand-alone spinoff of the “Fast & The Furious” franchise, “Hobbs & Shaw” (**1/2 OUT OF ****) suffers from mediocre villains with too much money.  These villains shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly from fade-in to fadeout.  Basically, our heroes worry more about the ticking clock than these anemic adversaries.  The sloppy villains spoil half of the fun in this white-knuckled, high-octane, adrenalin-fueled race against time to avert a global apocalypse.  Brawny action icons Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Jason Statham reunite as heroic co-stars in this exciting but implausible science fiction escapade. Johnson and Statham deliver adversarial charisma as they compete with Idris Elba in this overblown, 137-minute, PG-13 rated, demolition derby.  Our heroes must thwart an evil United Kingdom corporation named Eteon from recovering its own bio-engineered super virus. Benignly codenamed ‘Snowflake, the virus liquidifies your internal organs.  

Surprisingly, apart from celebrating family unity, this souped-up apocalyptic outing shares little connection with the Vin Diesel franchise.  Although Johnson and Statham reprise their roles from “The Fate of the Furious” (2017), you need not have seen “Fate.” “Atomic Blonde” director David Leitch & “47 Ronin” writer Chris Morgan, with “Iron Man 3” scribe Drew Pearce have rehabilitated Statham’s Shaw character.  Polishing off his rough, abrasive edges makes Shaw more sympathetic.  Diplomatic Security Service agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson of “Skyscraper”) and soldier of fortune Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham of “Crank”) abhor each other.  The C.I.A. dragoons them into an uneasy alliance. Meanwhile, Eteon’s cybernetic super-soldier, Brixton Lore (Idris Elba of “Pacific Rim”), tracks down the stolen CT-17 virus.  Not only must Brixton contend with Hobbs and Shaw, but also Shaw’s sister Hattie (Vanessa Kirby of “Jupiter Ascending”), an intelligent, resourceful British MI6 field agent.  Actually, as the leading lady, Hattie doesn’t typify your traditional damsel-in-distress.  Providentially, British MI6 had intercepted the Eteon plague before the villains could deploy it. After Brixton single-handedly eliminates her five-man unit, Hattie has no option but to embed the doomsday virus in her bloodstream!  No sooner has Hattie stolen the virus than Hobbs’ nabs her. While our quarrelsome trio struggle to evade Brixton, Hattie develops a fondness for Hobbs, much to Shaw’s chagrin.

“Hobbs & Shaw” crosses genres from gravity-defying car stunts into sci-fi absurdity.  Director David Leitch and his writers trot out many familiar tropes from earlier doomsday sagas, such as “The Satan Bug” (1965), “The Cassandra Crossing” (1976), and “Shaker Run” (1985). Even if these clichés lack appeal to you, Johnson and Statham have a field day amusing us with their endless verbal repartee.  A wrestling match in every respect, “Hobbs & Shaw” has our hot-tempered heroes egging each other on with hilarious insults. Some will discover sooner than others that “Hobbs & Shaw” amounts to little more than a game of one-upmanship, with our heroes spending more time fighting against each other than their collective foes. Like any good wrestling match, “Hobbs & Shaw” builds to a crescendo, with a Samoan faceoff where our heroes regroup for the big finale.  Estranged from his family for many years because of a criminal patriarch, Hobbs approaches his Samoan clan with contrition so he can enlist their aid.  Armed with nothing more than a flip-flop, the grand Hobbs matriarch Sefina (Lori Pelenise Tuisano) rushes to Luke’s defense when her huge family refuses to help him.  Later, she is ecstatic when Hobbs introduces her to Sam (newcomer Eliana Sua), her nine-year old granddaughter. 

The chief flaw in “Hobbs & Shaw” is its error prone antagonists.  The formidable and affluent Eteon Corporation with its huge army is reminiscent of billionaire owner Carlton Drake’s corporation in “Venom” (2018). Like the Drake corporation, Eteon espouses a similar agenda: humanity must undergo augmentation.  Although the man behind Eteon sounds every bit as ominous as Darth Vader, Leitch and his writers never reveal the dastard in the flesh, and this undercuts his omniscience.  Instead, Brixton serves as Eteon’s point man, and he commands legions of disposable black-clad henchmen.  Brixton careens around on a bizarre motorcycle which resembles a Decepticon from a “Transformers” movie because it can alter itself physically.  Sheathed in a bulletproof body suit, Brixton boasts electronically enhanced eyesight so he can duck each blow before Hobbs and Shaw can land them. A glimpse of his cybernetics when he submits to a painful upgrade is intriguing.  Literally, the technicians have to split open Brixton’s back to tinker his metallic spine.  Egotistically, Brixton hails himself ‘the future of mankind. After building up Brixton as an indestructible, Eteon treats him as expendable.  Why wasn’t Brix guarding the plague device in the first place?

As in “Deadpool,” “John Wick,” and “Atomic Blond,” Leitch indulges his wizardry as a grand master of chaotic pyrotechnics.  He stages dozens of wildly improbable stunts. One of the first has Brix miraculously weaving his shape-shifting smart-cycle beneath the churning wheels of two eighteen wheelers as they crisscross in front of him at a London intersection. Later, Brix crashes through a London double-decker bus and creates two gigantic holes in the vehicle.  Naturally, Brix suffers nary a scratch, and no passengers were injured.  Brix may remind you of the bungling Wily E. Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons as he survives one calamity after another.  Leitch saves the best stunt for the finale when Brix’s helicopter winds up towing a string of cars along a winding cliffside road.  Idris Elba makes a memorable villain. Motormouth Kevin Hart springs up  in a cameo as a nosy sky marshal who wants a piece of the action.  Luke’s former partner Locke (Ryan Reynolds of “Deadpool”) annoys him before and after the mission with his goofy antics.  The scene following the end credits is sidesplitting stuff, especially Locke’s B-positive gag.  Happily, the incompetent villains in “Hobbs & Shaw” aren’t big enough to overshadow Leitch’s audacious stunts and the wattage of the Rock, Statham, and Idris Elba.