FILM REVIEW OF ''THE MECHANIC" (2011)

Anybody who saw British director Michael Winner's top-notch 1972 killer-thriller "The Mechanic" with Charles Bronson cast as a stoic, steely-eyed assassin who makes murder look like an accident knows no remake could ever do it justice. Mind you, Jason Statham makes "Con-Air" director Simon West's rehash of this classic action epic tolerable. Statham possesses an iconic presence that the cinema has been grooming since he made his debut in writer & director Guy Ritchie's outstanding crime opus "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in 1998. French producer Luc Besson catapulted the actor to widespread prominence with larger-than-life "The Transporter" franchise. Meantime, if the best action movies must top each other, then "The Mechanic" sends Statham stumbling. Although it occurs in a believable physical environment, "The Mechanic" (** out of ****) is just too tame and low yield to be more than average. You don't see Statham perform any stunts here that he hasn't done far better in either his "Transporter" trilogy or his outlandish "Crank" movies. Credit Simon West for maintaining the momentum throughout this contemporary actioneer. Nevertheless, the surprises, complications, and villains induce yawns more often than alarms. As R-rated thrillers go, "The Mechanic" seems incredibly subdued compared with genuine R-rated exercises in blood, gore and murder like the recent crime epic "The Punisher." “16 Blocks" scenarist Richard Wenk has changed substantially the content and context of the original in his update. Lewis John Carlino, who penned the original, shares screen credit with Wenk but it is difficult to determine if more than the Carlino basics were retained. A straight scene-for-scene retelling of the original "Mechanic" would have been less-than-inspired but more than adequate. Apparently, West and Wenk wanted to improve on the original and thus dispense with everything that made it memorable. Unlike the grim 1972 ending, the "Mechanic" remake provides boasts an upbeat ending. Furthermore, this revenge melodrama provides more deception that makes our hero appear somewhat stupid when you think about it because the villains take advantage of him in a way that would never have occurred in the Bronson classic. Moreover, unlike Bronson and co-star Jan-Michael Vincent, Statham and Ben Foster kindle little charisma as mentor and apprentice.

Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham of “The Expendables”) is a reclusive killer who performs hits for a mysterious corporation. He is the best in the business, and the first scene demonstrates his expertise. Bishop penetrates the premises of a Colombian drug lord. Scores of heavily armed brutes patrol the place. Nevertheless, our protagonist kills the drug lord right under their collective noses. Moreover, Bishop makes it appear as if drug lord drowned. This is probably as slick as “The Mechanic” remake gets, and our anti-heroic hero makes good his escape by swimming away under the dead drug dealer. The guards think nothing unusual as they watch their wiry boss perform a slow crawl across the pool. The next thing they know is their boss has curled up dead in the water. They sound the alarm, but Bishop is far away. Bishop meets his mentor, Harry McKenna (Donald Sutherland of “The Eagle Has Landed”), who rolls around in a wheelchair. Harry brings Arthur a package of greenbacks as payment. Harry and he have a history, and Harry is the closest to a friend that Arthur has. When Arthur isn’t knocking off people, he listens to vinyl Schubert recordings on a turntable, tinkers with his fashionable Jaguar, and checks his e-mail on his Apple. Occasionally, he goes out for a drink and enjoys the company of a well-paid prostitute. Incidentally, Arthur lives in a sumptuous residence in a remote bayou outside of New Orleans. Life for Arthur, as far as everything goes, couldn’t be better until he learns that Harry has been selling out his colleagues to the tune of $50 million. Harry’s partner, Dean (Tony Goldwyn of “Ghost”), contacts Arthur and shows him a sheaf of gory photos.

Naturally, Arthur has to think this contract over before he accepts it. A life-long friend, Harry has been there for him. Harry loves Arthur like a son. Harry has a son, Steve (Ben Foster of “3:10 to Yuma”), but he cannot stand his son and considers him a complete waste of time. Anyway, Arthur decides to perform the hit, if for no other reason than Harry will suffer less. Of course, Arthur makes Harry’s death look like a carjacking. Eventually, Steve drifts into the picture and the only thing on his mind is revenge. Arthur intervenes to keep Steve from killing an innocent criminal and decides to train him as a hit man. Dean doesn’t think that this is one of Arthur’s better ideas, but he lets him do it. Arthur teaches Steve the rules of killing, but Steve isn’t as cautious and careful. Rather than kill a child molesting thug without fanfare, Steve decides to beat the man to death. Steve survives, but he looks like he ran into a bull dozer. As Steve learns more and more, he moves in with Arthur. One day Steve discovers his father’s nickel-plated automatic pistol in Arthur’s storage tubs and plots his mentor’s demise. Before he can carry out the hit, Arthur and he must leave for Chicago to murder a religious cult figure with a controversial background. Indeed, nothing goes right for them and they escape by the skin of their teeth.

Director Simon West doesn’t rely as heavily on high tech gadgetry. He keeps most of violence pretty down to earth. The shoot-out scenes are staged without excessive blood and gore, and West lets nothing get in the fairly straight-f0rward storyline. West and Wenk do insert an occasional surprise. The best concerns cramming a teenage girl’s fingers down a garbage disposal in a sink. Not surprisingly, Arthur Bishop comes off looking immaculate compared with his murderous colleagues as well as the unholy scum of the earth that he receives orders to terminate with extreme prejudice. For the record, the Charles Bronson character in the original worked for the Italian mafia and his father had been a top mob boss. No traces of the mafia exist in the remake. Unfortunately, “The Mechanic” is primarily a nuts and bolts melodrama with little to distinguish it outside of Jason Statham’s tight-lipped performance and Ben Foster’s maniacal energy as a wannabe killer.

FILM REVIEW OF "DOOM'' (2005)

As the latest entry in the video game inspired action movie genre, "Doom" (* out of ****) more than lives up to its nihilistic promise. Nothing about director Andrzej Bartkowski's tame science fiction thriller proves either original or exciting. Basically, the monsters amount to genetically mutated humanoids that not only appear ghoulish (what glimpses we catch of them) but also whose skeletal carcasses are covered with raspberry jam-like gore. In other words, the people that made "Doom" settled for lowest common denominator chills. Exotic alien predators don't prowl this mediocre melodrama that ranks as an all new career low for former WWE wrestling champ Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson. Okay, these monsters might frighten those under age twelve or women dragged to this drivel on a date, but blood & terror gorehounds will yawn at these murderous, run-of-the-mill fiends. For the record, these carnivores consist of either ancient Martians or zombies.

Nevertheless, "Doom" rightly deserved its R-rating for the amounts of blood, gore, and mayhem that saturate its occasionally atmospheric but wholly predictable plot. No, this dull, formulaic movie won't induce nightmares. Based on the popular first-person shooter video game where players assume the identity of an armed psychopath on a shooting spree, "Doom" recycles material from better movies, such as the "Resident Evil" epics, "Alien," (1979) and "Stargate"(1994). The best of the few surprises in "Doom" occurs as a twist near the end but it may alienate fans who revere the Rock.

Noisy, rambunctious, darkly shadowed, sporadically profane, but entirely idiotic, "Doom" follows a squad of macho U.S. Marines dispatched to the planet Mars. Their orders call for them to contain a security breach at a privately owned research institute and retrieve top secret company records. Some exposition is required to bring non-video gamers up to speed about this intergalactic gobbledygook set in the year 2046. According to freshman scenarist David Callaham and co-writer Wesley ("Cape Fear") Strick's cliché-riddled screenplay, archeologists uncovered a portal in the Nevada desert that enabled them to travel through space to the Red Planet with minimal ill effects. Sounds like "Stargate," right? Mysteriously, super humanoid creatures have begun to kill scientists in the underground labs. The institute issues a distress call that activates a Rapid Response Team led by Sarge (the Rock), a combat-seasoned Marine with Semper Fi tattooed across his back, and his crackerjack commandos.

Unlike the sexually diverse Marines in James Cameron's classic "Aliens," the "Doom" Marines are all red-blooded males with nicknames that encapsulate their one-dimensional characters. Among Sarge's troops is a God-fearing but profane grunt who craves crosses into his forearm with a razor-sharp knife when he takes the Lord's name in vain. Another Marine appears to have been modeled on the Jesse Ventura character from "Predator," because he lugs around an electric-powered Gatling gun that can turn anything into a sieve. John Grimm (Karl Urban who played Eomer in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy) constitutes the most reluctant RRT team member. It seems that he once lived on Mars with his archaeologist parents and has nightmares about the experience. The trip back to Mars gives Grim a chance to re-establish contact with his estranged twin sister Samantha (Rosamund Pike of "Die Another Day") who guides Sarge and his men through the treacherous confines of the facility. Although Mars serves as the setting for "Doom," "Cradle 2 the Grave" director Bartkowski only provides us with fleeting glimpses of the planet's bleak, barren surface.

Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson gives his least charismatic performance as the hard-as-nails Sarge. He utters no clever one-liners and plays Sarge with a straight face. Meaning, the Sarge character is about as lively as a cadaver. Richard Brake of "Death Machine" takes top honors as one of Sarge's low-life jarheads who gets his comeuppance in the least likely place. Poor Rosamund Pike alternates between being a heady scientist and helpless damsel-in-distress. As it turns out, we learn that the researchers on Mars have discovered the 24th chromosome that endows humans with supernatural strength. About the worst that these monsters do is cough up large sausage-shaped worms that bore into the victims' neck, similar to the squirming critter in the "Hidden" films that entered its victims' ears and drove them psychotic. The much touted first-person shooter scene has been far over-hyped and lasts for about five minutes. This first-person shooter scene like many of the stalking scenes in the claustrophobic institute suffer from a shortage of suspense and tension. Bartkowski keeps the lights turned low on his bargain basement monstrosities and his efforts to make them intimidating rarely yield results. Altogether, "Doom" is filled with so much gloom that the plot generates few thrills and chills and emerges as just another standard-issue, testosterone-laced, mutant monster hunt.

FILM REVIEW OF ''SOUL MEN'' (2008)

Samuel L. Jackson and the late comedian Bernie Mac team up as blues singers in “Undercover Brother” director Malcolm D. Lee’s new movie “Soul Men” (** out of ****), a raunchy, R-rated, musical comedy that co-stars late rhythm & blues legend Isaac Hayes. The camaraderie between the cantankerous Jackson and the comedic Mac surpasses their half-witted shenanigans as they embark on a cross-country trip to pay tribute to a dead lead singer with whom they once shared the limelight. Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone's episodic script trots out all the obligatory jokes about Viagra, rectal exams, and infidelity. Our heroes emerge from obscurity and find redemption and success where they least expected. Ironically, “Soul Men” fares better as a drama about two washed-up blues brothers struggling to make a comeback than as a comedy of errors. Although neither Jackson nor Mac can tote a tune in a bucket, they conjure up more than enough charisma to compensate for their lack of vocal talent. Basically, “Soul Men” boils down to an African-American spin on “The Sunshine Boys” meet “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” with a hefty part of the plot taking place in Memphis, Tennessee.

“Soul Men” unfolds like a VH-1 music documentary as we learn about the soul trio Marcus Hooks and the Real Deal. These fellas start out warbling on Memphis street corners and wind up in the big time. Eventually, Marcus (Johnny Legend, a.k.a. John Stephens) abandons his back-up singers, Louis Hinds (Samuel L. Jackson of “Pulp Fiction”) and Floyd Henderson (Bernie Mac of “Transformers”), to pursue a solo career. Marcus finds fame, but our heroes—the Real Deal—burn out as one-hit wonders. Creative differences drive them apart in 1979 and they go their separate ways. Floyd reaps greater monetary fame promoting an L.A. car wash with bikini-clad babes soaping up bumpers, while Louis botches a bank robbery and serves time in prison.

“Soul Men” shifts from the past to the present. Floyd finds himself put out to pasture in a luxurious retirement village by his goofy son Duane (Mike Epps of “Next Friday”) who has taken over his father’s business. Predictably, Floyd gets bored playing golf and has to gobble Viagra galore to keep up with a voluptuous neighbor who wants his body more than his soul. Floyd suffers from insomnia. One night while watching television, he learns that Marcus has died during a concert performance in Stockholm. No sooner does Floyd hear about this tragedy than record label owner Danny Epstein (Sean Hayes of “The Bucket List”) rings him up. Epstein wants Floyd and Louis to perform at Marcus’ tribute at the world famous Apollo Theatre in Harlem. Naturally, Floyd leaps at the offer and looks up Louis.

Louis, on the other hand, doesn’t jump at the offer. Out on parole, Louis toils as a mechanic and lives in hopeless squalor. After a tough day at the garage, Louis comes home to his depressing apartment to find Floyd rummaging through his things. Before Floyd can say something, Louis decks him with a right cross to the jaw that crumples Floyd to the floor. When he recovers, Floyd tries to reason with Louis and begs him to appear at the Apollo so that he can reboot their blues singing career. Louis flatly refuses until Floyd tells him that they can pick up an easy twenty grand. Shrewd, cynical Louis reluctantly agrees to join Floyd, but only if Floyd gives Louis sixty per cent of the split and they drive across country rather than fly.

A frustrated Floyd caves in to Louis’ demands. They hit the road in a lime-green Cadillac and do a series of one-night performances at motel lounges across Arizona, Texas, and Oklahoma. Things get complicated along the way when they try to visit an old girlfriend, discover that she is dead, and meet her beautiful daughter, Cleo (Sharon Leal of “Dreamgirls”), who contends with an abusive boyfriend. Louis and Floyd rescue her from the boyfriend, Lester (Affion Crockett of “Compton Cowboy”), and she accompanies them. She finds her voice as a blues singer on the road. When our heroes chill in Memphis, local sensation Isaac Hayes offers Cleo a contract. While things soar from Cleo, everything goes south for our protagonists. Louis and Floyd get into trouble, end up in jail, and then Floyd pulls a real boner. The Memphis Police release Floyd, but they hold Louis since he has violated his parole. Floyd realizes he cannot sing solo at the Apollo, so he breaks his old partner out of jail. The surveillance camera footage makes the news. Now, our heroes are the object of a nation-wide manhunt, so when they arrive in Harlem, they have to dodge the N.Y.P.D.

Predictably, everything works out. “Soul Men” qualifies as neither a great movie nor a good movie, more like a minor movie. However, you cannot take your eyes off either Samuel L. Jackson or Bernie Mac when they do their routines. They spend most of the film’s 100 minute running time hurling hardcore expletives at each other. Depending on your sense of humor, you'll either hurt yourself laughing when they badmouth each other or you will hang your head in despair. Jackson and Mac are fun to watch, especially when they don their flashy outfits and perform choreographed dance numbers. Isaac Hayes pretty much plays himself in a subplot. Bernie Mac deserved a better film than “Soul Men” to conclude his career. Spike Lee's younger brother director Malcolm D. Lee wraps up the film with a tribute to Mac’s career.