A FILM REVIEW OF "BULLET TO THE HEAD" (2013)

Watching the Sylvester Stallone shoot’em up “Bullet to the Head” (**** OUT OF ****) felt like a blast from the past.  This polished but predictable anthology of action movie clichés contains several R-rated, close-quarters, combat scenes with sufficient amounts of blood splatter and gore; some high-octane, fireball explosions; lots of snappy tough guy banter; and surprising displays of frontal female nudity.  Half the scenes reminded me of producer Joel Silver’s explosive, slam-bang, white-knuckled, testosterone-laden tales, such as “Conspiracy Theory,” “Exit Wounds, “Swordfish,” and his “Lethal Weapon” franchise.  Indeed, Silver serves as one of the producers, and “Bullet to the Head” adheres to his formula.  Meanwhile, action auteur Walter Hill drew the other half from his hardboiled melodramas.  For the record, Hill helmed the two “48 Hrs” flicks with Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy, “Extreme Prejudice” with Nick Nolte, “Last Man Standing” with Bruce Willis, and “Red Heat” co-starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Belushi.  Although “The Messenger” scenarist Alessandro Camon adapted the Alexis Nolent graphic novel "Du plomb dans la tête,” “Bullet to the Head” looks like “48 Hrs” and/or “Red Heat” clone.  Mind you, “Bullet to the Head” is Hill’s first theatrical release since his gritty 2002 prison melodrama “Undisputed” with Ving Rhames and Wesley Snipes.  During his absence from the big screen, Hill helmed the premiere episode of HBO’s “Deadwood,” and then the television mini-series western “Broken Trail” (2006) costarring Robert Duvall and Thomas Haden Church.”  In many respects, this action-packed, largely straightforward, odd couple buddy picture compares favorably with earlier, exceptional Stallone sagas like “Assassins,” “The Specialist,” and “Demolition Man.”  Most definitely, it surpasses “Tango and Cash” and “Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot.”

Cast as a seasoned hit-man in the Crescent City, Sylvester Stallone tangles with a mysterious cabal of Big Easy investors who have the New Orleans Police Department on their payroll.  Director Walter Hill has juggled the occupations of the protagonists from his earlier buddy picture epics.  The cop was always the lead in the combo in the “48 Hrs” movies and “Red Heat.”  This time around, world-weary, career criminal James “Bobo” Bonomo (Sylvester Stallone of “Rocky”) is the lead, while saintly, Washington, D.C. Detective Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang of “Fast & Furious”) behaves rather naively and relies too much on his cell phone.  Ironically, the two men want to exact vengeance for the deaths of their former partners.  They agree to form an uneasy alliance, but Kwon’s conscience prompts him to constrain Bonomo. These two don’t immediately run into each other. When the plot unfolds, Bonomo and his partner Louis Blanchard (Jon Seda of “Bad Boys 2”) masquerade as cops to snuff a cocaine-snorting thug, Hank Greely (Holt McCallany of “Fight Club”), in a motel room.  Bonomo spots a tattooed prostitute cowering in the shower, but he lets her live.  This amoral murderer draws the line at shooting women.  When he is behind the wheel on the road, he swerves to avoid stray cats in front of him.  “It’s bad luck,” he assures Louis.  These two show up at a crowded bar where they are supposed to pick up the balance of their loot for the shooting.  Before either realizes they have been double-crossed, another assassin, Keegan (Jason Momoa of “Conan”), stabs poor Louis repeatedly to death in front of everybody.  He wields a small blade to hack both of Louis’ lungs so nobody in the noisy bar knows a murder has occurred.  Keegan isn’t quite as lucky with Bonomo.  Now, Bonomo wants payback.  Our hero crosses paths with a hard-nosed, Washington, D.C. police detective who is visiting New Orleans.  As it turns out, Hank Greely was his former partner in Washington.  Kwon wants the people who ordered Hank’s demise.  Sure, neither Bonomo nor Kwon have much use for each other initially, but they kind of grow on one other as they survive back-to-back fracases. 

Hill stages some gripping shoot-out scenes that genre fans will savor, and you get to see Silver's trademark Ka-Boom explosions!  Hill never lets the narrative bog down in aimless chatter or an over elaborate plot.  Stallone’s character provides deadpan narration throughout the pyrotechnics so you never take anything seriously in “Bullet to the Head.”  “Bullet to the Head” is not unlike a Tarantino thriller.  Camon and Hill wrap up everything, but leave room for a sequel since the hero’s daughter and the D.C. cop are dating.  At 66 years of age, Sylvester Stallone appears as fit as a fiddle.  This is the kind of movie where guys shed shirts and clash muscles.  He channels a little bit of “Rocky” in his tongue-in-cheek performance.  The ax fight between beefy, muscle-bound Jason Momoa and Stallone has been carefully edited to present both to maximum advantage.  You know Stallone is going to triumph, but Momoa doesn’t make it look easy.  Momoa makes a lusty villain.  No less villainous is Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as a crippled, African investor has no qualms about murder.  Christian Slater appears briefly as a smarmy swindler with a flash drive around his neck that boasts the goods of everybody.  The interrogation scene is pretty amusing.  Clocking in at a lean, mean, 97 minutes, “Bullet to the Head” doesn’t wear out its welcome.  You don’t even have to wait around to see what’s after the end credits so you can clear out early.  Were it not for the pedigree talent involved, “Bullet to the Head” would qualify at best as a three-star rather than a four-star movie.  If you still like Stallone, you'll love "Bullet to the Head" because it is worth shelling out the bucks to watch this Spartan saga.

FILM REVIEW OF ''RED DAWN' (2012)

Although I ranked the original “Red Dawn” (1984) as a vintage Reagan-era action opus, freshman director Don Bradley’s supercharged, high-octane, remake starring Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, and Josh Hutcherson surpasses its predecessor on several counts.  The first “Red Dawn” depicted a Soviet invasion of a small Colorado town and the scrappy squad of high school teens who eventually ousted them with their hit-and-run guerrilla warfare.  Patrick Swayze starred in the original, and Charlie Sheen made his cinematic debut.  Anti-Communist, Cold War movies enjoyed a brief renaissance when “Red Dawn” came out.  Clint Eastwood’s “Firefox” (1982) about a washed-up Vietnam pilot who stole a top-secret Soviet stealth jet fighter represented a standard example of these films.  Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky IV” (1985) appeared a year after “Red Dawn” with the Italian Stallion swapping blows with a gigantic Soviet pugilist.  Meanwhile, James Bond had tangled with cunning Soviets in both “For Your Eyes Only” (1981) and “Octopussy” (1983).  The Soviets qualified as despicable B-movie villains, but the Americans defeated them despite any handicaps.  The last gasp of this sub-genre occurred during the 1980s, particularly after the bottom dropped out of the Evil Empire in 1989.  Comparatively, while Milius’ “Red Dawn” unfolded largely in a rural setting, the agile remake occurs in the urban setting of Spokane, Washington.  Bradley and scenarists Carl Ellsworth of “Disturbia” and Jeremy Passmore of “Special” haven’t departed drastically from the original screenplay that Kevin Reynolds of “Waterworld” and John Milius of “Flight of the Intruder” penned.  Whereas the original concluded with the defeat of the enemy and the end of World War III, the “Red Dawn” (***1/2 OUT OF ****) remake leaves the outcome of the action up in the air.  This remake is not as enigmatic about the fate of its protagonist as its predecessor was.  

Chris Hemsworth of "Thor" plays battle seasoned Marine Jed Eckert who comes home to Spokane after his tour of duty.  It seems Jed ran out not only on his father, Spokane Police Sergeant Tom Eckert (Brent Cullen), but also his impressionable younger brother Matt (Josh Peck of “Drillbit Taylor”) and left no messages.  Not long after Jed arrives home, the unexpected happens.  Enemy cargo planes crowd the sky, and paratroopers appear like a blizzard of snowflakes.  Jed, Matt, and their friend Robert (Josh Hutcherson of “The Hunger Games”) scramble for the safety of the family cabin in the woods.  Along the way, they pick up several others as they flee from the besieged city during a harrowing auto chase with the North Koreans in furious pursuit.  Eventually, Jed trains these teens from the bootstraps up into a lethal band of guerrillas.  Soon they become the bane of the North Koreans.  Everywhere our heroes go and devastate the North Koreans, they spray-paint wolverines on the walls.  Wolverines are the name of their high school football team.  No matter how fiercely North Korean District Leader Captain Cho (Will Yun Lee of “Die Another Day”) pursues them, Jed and company elude him at every turn.  One day our heroes join forces with three Marines dispatched to contact them.  Helicopter pilot Colonel Andy Tanner (Jeffrey Dean Morgan of “The Losers”) and his two men explain they have been ordered to retrieve a top-secret communications unit that the enemy uses to safeguard its chain of command.  Jed and Matt clash when Matt takes advantage of an opportunity to rescue his girlfriend, Erica Martin (Isabel Lucas of “Immortals”), from a prison bus during a major tactical exercise. One of them dies because Matt goes rogue on the Wolverines.  Before long the North Korean bring in an imposing Russian military adviser who devises a way to track the Wolverines back to their lair.  Jed and Matt square off against each other about Matt’s irresponsible attitude.  Eventually, the two reach reconciliation before the North Koreans descend on them without warning.

One of the biggest criticisms about “Red Dawn” (1984) was its far-fetched premise.  A Soviet airborne invasion seemed dubious initially, and it seems even more implausible in the remake.  The Soviet Union emerged as our chief nemesis from the end of World War II and remained so until 1989.  Pitting a faction of fresh-faced kids against the Soviets isn’t nearly as improbable as pitting them against the North Koreans.  Mind you, nobody considers the North Koreans a serious threat compared with either Russia or China.  One of the strengths of the “Red Dawn” remake, however, is the way it makes the events that precipitate World War III seem credible.  Nevertheless, casting the North Koreans as our adversary remains lamentable.  Originally, the filmmakers cast the Red Chinese as our adversary.  Afterward, the studio changed their minds because China imports Hollywood’s product.  Consequently, the studio kept “Red Dawn” on the shelf for three years while they digitally altered the uniforms, insignia, and identity of the invading army.  Bradley and his writers make us abhor the North Koreans and cheer for the underdog heroes.  Freshman director Don Bradley, who supervised the stunts on “The Bourne” movies as well as “Spider-man 2” and “Spider-man 3,”stages the combat sequences with vigorous aplomb.  The teens look credible enough wielding some impressive firepower. Bradley doesn’t waste time either.  This “Red Dawn” clocks in considerably shorter than the Milius original. Some of the dialogue sounds quotable, particularly the remark about Marines regrouping in Hell.  Altogether, “Red Dawn” qualifies as another of those few remakes that overshadows the original.

FILM REVIEW OF ''GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE" (2012)

 Nicolas Cage reprises his role as the incendiary Marvel Comics character Johnny Blaze, an Evel Knievel-type motorcycle stunt rider who sold his soul to the Devil, in "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance." This impudent, 95-minute, PG-13 opus is a reboot of the franchise rather than a sequel. The original "Ghost Rider" (2007) was a standard issue supernatural hero origins epic. Alternately adventurous, amorous, and absurd, this lightweight, middle-of-the-road, action mash-up was as tame as it was tedious. When the Rider wasn't tangling with either Mephistopheles or his rebellious son Blackheart, director Mark Steven Johnson pitted the him against the local constabulary conducting a homicide investigation. The protagonist’s outlandish motorcycle stunts amounted to cheesy hokum. Further, "Ghost Rider" imitated at least two scenes from the infinitely superior "Terminator 2: Judgment Day": Blackheart's assault on a biker bar and the Rider's encounter with the cops. Nevertheless, fans wallowed in this conventional nonsense, and "Ghost Rider" coined a fortune. Peter Fonda made a momentary but memorable impression as a sartorially elegant Mephistopheles, but the Rider's face-off against Blackheart (Wes Bentley made-up like a 19th century minstrel singer) to rescue his girlfriend Roxanne Simpson yielded no surprises. "Crank" co-directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor along with “Blade” scenarist David S. Goyer have drastically altered the franchise. Gone is Johnny Blaze's girlfriend. Gone are Johnny’s two guilty pleasures: eating jelly beans and listening to the Carpenters. Gone is Johnny's playful paranoia about his supernatural alter-ego. "Ghost Rider" qualified as a Disney superhero movie without any grit. If the two movies were compared to motorcycles, “Ghost Rider” would be a quiet, graceful Honda Gold Wing and “Spirit of Vengeance” would be a noisy, skeletal Yamaha dirt bike. Moreover, the color of Ghost Rider’s skull depicts the tonal differences. In the original, the skull is white, but in the reboot black.

"Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" (**1/2 out of ****) dispenses with Johnny's earlier ‘fear no evil’ credo. He dreads his lack of control over his combustible alter-ego. Indeed, he has fled in fear to Eastern Europe to lay low until he can come to grips with his condition. This doesn't discourage a wine-guzzling, motorcycle-riding, French monk, Moreau (Idris Elba of "Thor"), from tracking Johnny down and approaching him with a proposition. If Blaze will protect a helpless child from his malevolent father, Moreau assures him that his renegade order of monks will help him remove his curse. Moreau and his cassock-clad compatriots have Danny (Fergus Riordan of "Fragile") along with his attractive Gypsy mom, Nadya (Violante Placido of "The American"), hidden in their remote monastery. Basically, Danny is the spawn of the Devil. Moreau warns his father superior, Benedict (Anthony Head of “Scoop”), that Satan will stop at nothing to possess Danny. Basically, the Devil has taken the form of a human, Roarke (Ciarán Hinds of "Excalibur"), while he treads the Earth. Unfortunately, Satan’s power is waning because Roarke’s body is deteriorating. Satan needs Danny’s body for a ritual enacted at dawn before the Winter Solstice so he can rejuvenate his dominance. Interestingly, this child in jeopardy plot resembles a similar storyline in an earlier Cage movie “Drive Angry.”

Satan dispatches a thoroughly obnoxious hooligan, Ray Carrigan (leering Johnny Whitworth of "Limitless"), to get Nadya and Danny after they escape from the monastery. Meanwhile, Johnny discovers he has a psychic connection with Danny and sets off in hot pursuit. The Ghost Rider uses his deadly Penance Stare on some of Carrigan's men. When he isn’t looking, Carrigan blasts him with enough firepower to land an unconscious Johnny in a hospital. Predictably, not only does Johnny recover, but he also befriends Nadya, and the two elude the authorities. Eventually, Johnny and Nadya free Danny from Carrigan's clutches in a larger-than-life confrontation at a construction site. The Ghost Rider converts a gigantic crane into a blazing juggernaut to combat his enemies. Johnny kills Carrigan, but Satan refuses to let his lieutenant lay down on the job. Instead, Satan revives Carrigan and provides him with the diabolical power to rot anything he touches. The best joke shows Carrigan destroying everything for a snack but a Twinkie! Carrigan emerges with a mop of long white hair that makes him look like bluesman Johnny Winter. Indeed, Satan and Carrigan take Johnny Blaze to the mat before our hero receives help in the last quarter hour from the lad he is supposed to save.

Basically, "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" qualifies as a darker, more sarcastic saga. Unlike the original, the reboot emphasizes Johnny's contagious ability to incinerate everything he handles. At one point, Danny asks Johnny what would occur he had to pee as the Rider, and we are treated to glimpse of the Rider performing figure eights with his urine. As clever as this visual gag is, it doesn’t match the Twinkie joke. Everything about the "Ghost Rider" reboot has fringe written on it rather than mainstream. Unlike the original, every character experiences a radical change. Johnny Blaze suffers like the Hulk. Carrigan changes from an ordinary hood to a supernatural ruffian. Even the Devil admits the pact he struck with Johnny was his worst. Neveldine and Taylor with their penchant for making R-rated movies were probably not the ideal directors for this PG-13 outing. Aside from emphasizing anarchy, Neveldine and Taylor streamline the action, eliminating superfluous love interests and law enforcement intrusions. They ramp up the violence with their guerrilla filmmaking style that makes everything look harrowing. The special effects are staggering. You can feel the heat of the Ghost Rider. Cage gives a better performance with a greater expressive range since his character evolves rather than remains static. Idris Elba is charismatic, while Johnny Whitworth is audaciously villainous. Christopher Lambert makes little impression as a tattooed monk, but it’s great to see him again. The post-production 3-D effect rarely enhances "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" since nothing comes flying out at you during the fracas. Ultimately, this above-average reboot will aggravate anybody who wanted something more conventional along the lines of the original.

FILM REVIEW OF ''DRIVE ANGRY 3D" (2011)

Although the latest Nicolas Cage epic surpasses his previous potboiler “Season of the Witch,” “My Bloody Valentine” director Patrick Lussier’s “Drive Angry 3-D” (**1/2 out of ****) qualifies as little more than a campy, white-trash, B-movie about a gun-toting fugitive fresh out of Hell who struggles to save his infant granddaughter from a Satanic cult set on slaughtering her. Blood-splattered, babe-strewn, and bullet-riddled, this half-grilled collection of grindhouse clichés delivers non-stop action that you’ve seen before in better movies like “Race with the Devil," "Shoot’em Up,” “Crank,” and “Machete.” The only shred of originality in this hard-boiled, hare-brained hokum is a go-for-broke motel room massacre. A half-clad Cage in sunglasses, clutching a fifth of Jack Daniels in one fist and an automatic pistol in the other, mows down a mob of murderous miscreants as they migrate into his room without invitation. Just to show how incredibly cool that our hero is under fire, Lussier and co-scenarist Todd Farmer have his adversaries storm in on him in the middle of a tryst with a totally naked cocktail waitress astride him. Of course, the deafening gunfight traumatizes the poor dame. Meantime, our imperturbable protagonist misses nary a stroke until his pistol clicks on empty and the last thug stands poised to polish him off. This is as good as this beer & pizza movie gets. “Drive Angry” amounts to a second-rate, supernatural saga with cars flying through flaming hoops in “Dukes of Hazzard” fashion without a modicum of realism. Nevertheless, despite all its audacious abandon and above-average 3-D photography, this contrived, R-rated fantasy lacks a shred of genuine suspense. Since our hero is immortal, nothing the villains do can harm him. Sure, they kick him when he is down and put bullets into him, but Milton suffers no long term damage. In other words, we don't have to worry about his safety. As far as that goes, we don't have to worry about the safety of the child that rests in the arms of these vicious thugs. Hollywood would never sanction a film where a helpless child would get burned up. Entirely predictable as well as pedestrian from start to finish, this contrived road rage serves up drivel for dialogue and muscle car stunts that pale by comparison with the “Fast & Furious” franchise.

“Drive Angry” opens in Laughter, Colorado. Our enigmatic hero, John Milton (Nicolas Cage of “Face/Off”), has miraculously managed to escape from perdition. We're given a brief glimpse of Hell with its charred landscape, but none of the action takes place on those fried premises. Guess we'll have to await either for the prequel or the sequel to learn more about Milton's shenanigans in Hades. Meanwhile, we’re neither told how Milton broke out of Hell nor where he was imprisoned, except that he was confined in 'a dark place' that he didn't relish. When we see him for the first time, Milton is behind the wheel of a hot rod with an automatic shotgun. He runs down three repellent ruffians who work for wicked satanic cult leader Jonah King (Billy Burke of “Twilight”) so he can learn the whereabouts of his infant granddaughter. We're told that King murdered Milton’s daughter and son-in-law and King kept her femur as a trophy and turned it into a walking stick. King makes a relatively bland villain in the greater scheme of things when compared to such monsters as either Dr. Hannibal Lecter from "Silence of the Lambs" or Clarence J. Boddicker from "Robocop." He is leading his minions to a derelict prison in southern Louisiana to sacrifice the child during a bizarre full moon ritual. Chalk up points for Lussier and Farmer for giving the action a deadline. Just to show that he is serious about his aims; Milton blows one thug’s hand off with a blast from his shotgun. That scene looks good in 3-D. He shoots another thug in the leg and threatens to turn his thigh into ground chuck if he doesn’t talk. Naturally, the wounded man divulges King’s destination. Of course, no scene like this one would be complete without our hero igniting a stream of fuel leaking from the smashed up pick-up truck that the villains trundled around in and then walking away as the vehicle blows up in a fireball.

During the opening gunfight, our hero crashed his car and wound up afoot. He trudges no farther than a greasy spoon roadside diner where he spots a nubile waitress, Piper (Amber Heard of “Pineapple Express”), who has just quit her job. Piper's lecherous boss, Fat Lou (Jack McGee of "Basic Instinct") got fresh with her so she cleared out. Our heroine is cruising home to her out-of-work boyfriend when her sleek 1969 Dodge Charger overheats and coasts to a halt. As if on cue, Milton walks out of the woods, takes a gander under the hood, and then tweaks something. In no time flat, they are heading to see her sweetheart. Earlier, Piper had boasted to another waitress about how she had deprived her boyfriend of sex with her until he proposed marriage. It seems that he has been out of work and Piper has been paying the bills on the Charger. Imagine Piper’s surprise when she finds Frank (Todd Farmer of “Jason-X”) in bed with a dark-haired beauty. A bare-knuckles fistfight between Piper and Frank’s slut ensues and later Frank steps in and punches Piper out. He is about to carve her face up when Milton intervenes and decks Frank with several devastating blows. A grateful Piper agrees to drive Milton to Louisiana.

Along about this time, another mysterious individual makes his entrance. A well-tailored man in a suit and tie who calls himself 'the Accountant' (William Fichtner of “Heat”) is trailing Milton and plans to take him back to Satan. Milton and the Accountant engage in a game of cat and mouse throughout “Drive Angry.” Although they appear to be adversaries, the Accountant helps Milton out of some pretty tight predicaments, particularly a sheriff’s roadblock where an army of lawmen yearn for an excuse to blow our hero and heroine to smithereens. The Accountant likes to toss around a magic coin that can either change into the credentials of an FBI agent or a deadly weapon. Indeed, he hurls the coin at one bad guy and it sinks half-way into the brute’s forehead and kills him.

“Drive Angry” comes by its R-rating naturally. The f-word is uttered about 75 times in a variety of variations. When loose women aren’t displaying ample cleavage, they are parading around as naked as jaybirds without a qualm. The violence is somewhat extreme. At one point, we see the villainous Jonah brandish a straight razor and slash at a man’s throat. Although the blade is never shown penetrating flesh, the filmmakers show a geyser of blood splashing a nearby wall. Hands are obliterated. Heads are cut off. A baseball bat is used to skewer a man’s torso and the poor hooligan writhes in agony as he is pinned to a wall. The ultimate act of violence occurs when a heavy is disintegrated by a so called ‘god gun’ that deprives the individual of his soul so he can neither enter Heaven or Hell. Our triumphant hero drinks a cold beer from the dead man’s shattered cranium. Ghoulish as all this seems, Lussier and Farmer play everything for macabre laughs. Indeed, nothing in “Drive Angry” is remotely realistic. Unfortunately, virtually everything is so phony that it provides little in the way of catharsis. You know an action movie is in trouble when the demise of its chief villain yields no satisfaction. “Drive Angry” steps on the gas but winds up going nowhere in the long run.