FILM REVIEW OF ''THE BLOB" (1958)

 "The Blob" (*** OUT OF ****) qualifies as a cult science fiction film not only because it launched 27-year old Steve McQueen on a trajectory to superstardom, but also because it exploited the popular themes of alien invasion and teenage delinquency which were inseparable in 1950s   cinema. Interestingly, nobody in the Kay Linaker and Theodore Simonson screenplay ever refers to the amorphous, scarlet-red protoplasm that plummeted to Earth in a meteor and menaced everybody in the small town of Downingtown Pennsylvania on a Friday night as "The Blob." They refer to it vaguely as the monster. Steve McQueen won the role of Josh Randall, the old West bounty hunter in "Wanted: Dead or Alive," after producer Dick Powell saw this Paramount Pictures' release. Meanwhile, McQueen's attractive girlfriend Aneta Corsaut went on to star opposite Andy Griffith in the hit CBS-TV comedy "The Andy Griffith Show" as Sheriff Taylor's school teacher girlfriend Helen Crump. Of course, neither McQueen nor Corsaut were teenagers, but then rarely did actual teenagers play actual teenagers. Director Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr., made his directorial debut with "The Blob." Linaker and Simonson's screenplay synthesized four genres: first, the alien invasion; second, teenage delinquency; third, a murder mystery, and fourth; a horror chiller. Moreover, while the gelatinous substance assumes various shapes, it remains largely anonymous. In other words, the eponymous Jell-O neither talks nor communicates through telepathy. Instead, it kills without a qualm and discriminates against nobody. The ill-fated Dr. Hallen summarizes the Blob: "There's a man here with some sort of a parasite on his arm, assimilating his flesh at a frightening speed. I may have to get ahead of it and amputate. No... I don't know what it is or where it came from."The tone of "The Blob" is fairly serious in spite of its somewhat campy nature.

As the filmmakers point out on the Criterion DVD release of "The Blob," the movie opens uncharacteristically for a sci-fi horror thriller with our hero and heroine in a remote rural locale making out and kissing. Jane (Anita Corsaut) and Steve (Steve McQueen) see a large meteor fall to the earth and drive in search of it. Meanwhile, an elderly man with a lantern finds the meteor and pokes it with a stick. The meteor cracks open, and a slimy bunch of goop clings to the stick. When the old timer (Olin Howland of "The Paleface") gets a closer look at it, the goop attaches itself to his hand. The old guy runs screaming from the crater, and Steve nearly hits him with his jalopy. Steve and Jane pick the guy up and take him to see Dr. Hallen in town.

Hallen is poised to leave town for a medical conference when Steve and Jane bring the old guy to his office. Hallen phones his nurse to return since he may need to perform an amputation. Of course, Hallen has never seen anything like the substance on the man's forearm. Hallen sends Steve and Jane to find out what happened. Our heroes run into another group of teenagers that ridicule Steve's fast driving. Steve fools him into a reverse drive race, but the local police chief Dave (Earl Rowe) lets him off the hook. Steve and the teenagers visit the site of the meteor crater and find the warm remains of the meteor. After they visit the old man's house and rescue a dog, the teenagers split for a spooky late night movie while Steve and Jane return to Dr. Hallen's office. During the interim, the blob has entirely absorbed the old geezer, killed Hallen's nurse and attacked the doctor. Neither acid thrown on the protoplasm nor Hallen's shotgun have any effect on the blob. Steve catches a glimpse of the blob absorbing Hallen. When Steve and Jane go to the police department to report the incident, Dave is frankly incredulous, while Sergeant Bert (John Benson) believes that it is a prank. Bert has an axe to grind with teenagers because his wife died when one struck her car.

Steve and Jane take them to Hallen's office, but they can find neither hide nor hair of anybody, but Dave admits that the office has been vandalized. Against Sgt. Bert's advice, Dave turns the teens over to their respective parents. We learn that Jane's father is the High School principal. No sooner have Steve and Jane fooled their folks into believing that they are snugly asleep in bed than they venture out again. Jane's little brother in his pajamas with his stuffed Teddy Bear pleads to join her. Jane emphasizes the he needs to watch over their unsuspecting parents. They drive into town and spot the old man's dog that got away from them in front of a supermarket. When they go to retrieve the mutt, Steve steps in front of the electric eye door of the grocery store and it opens. They find nobody inside, but they encounter the blob. Steve and Jane take refuge in a freezer and the blob doesn't attack them. Later, after they escape, Steve persuades the teenagers that challenged him in a street race to alert the authorities because he is supposed to be home in bed. Police Chief Dave and the fire department arrive at the supermarket. Steve tries to convince Dave that the blob is in the store. About that time, the blob kills the theater projectionist and attacks the moviegoers. Suddenly, a horde of people exit the theater and Dave believes Steve. Steve and Jane wind up at a lunch counter that the blob attacks. The proprietor and our heroes hole up in the cellar and Steve discovers that a fire extinguisher with its freezing contents forces the blob to back off.

The authorities collect every fire extinguisher in town and manage to freeze the blob. The Pentagon sends down a team to transport the blob to the North Pole. As the remains of the blob drift down to the polar ice pack, the end credit appears with a ghostly giant question mark. Producer James B. Harris obtained stock military footage of a Globe master military transport plane depositing the parachute and its cargo.

"The Blob" proved to be a drive-in hit and Steve McQueen's surge to stardom gave the film added momentum. Unless you are a juvenile, this little horror movie isn't scary at all, but Yeaworth and his scenarists create a sufficient amount of paranoia and sympathy for our heroes. They never show the blob actually assimilating its victims and leave this to your imagination, so "The Blob" isn't without a modicum of subtlety.

FILM REVIEW OF ''DANCE FLICK'' (2009)

The Wayans clan, who made the first two “Scary Movie” spoofs, show no mercy with their latest parody “Dance Flick,” an uproariously crude, lewd, and rude roasting of dance movies. Specifically, “Dance Flick” pokes fun at “Fame,” “Save the Last Dance,” “Drumline,” “Hairspray,” “Center Stage,” “Step Up,” “Roll, Bounce,” “Stomp the Yard,” “Step Up,” “Step Up 2 the Streets,” and the “High School Musical” movies. “Dance Flick” ranks as the best parody movie since “Superhero Movie” (2008). Moreover, the Wayans have ripped into some classics, such as “West Side Story” and “Singing in the Rain.” Indeed, the fun of most parodies is spotting the movie being jeered first and hoping second that you’ll cheer the jeers. Even if you loved the movie getting mocked, a good parody can make you appreciate your favorite movie more because it pays tribute to it.

Not nearly as scatological as the first two “Scary Movies,” “Dance Flick” relies on the usual hilarious sight gags that the Wayans deploy throughout their derivative, often lowest-common-denominator, storyline to skewer the conventions and cliches of those terpsichorean tales. Unless you’ve seen the aforementioned films, you may not be laughing when others are roaring. Sometimes, the Wayans insert some pungent political satire into this brisk 83 minute epic, but it doesn’t distract from the overall antics. You rarely have enough time to read all the whacky wall signs plastered in every shot because the film flies by so quickly.

After her mom dies in a tragic auto accident rushing to her daughter’s Juilliard dance audition, Megan (Shoshana Bush of “Fired Up”) relocates to the big city to live with her destitute father (Chris Elliot of “Cabin Boy”) in his condemned apartment. Like everything else in the audacious “Dance Flick,” the demise of Megan’s mother is played strictly for laughs. In fact, she escapes from her wrecked vehicle, only to be struck by a car with a Lindsay vanity license tag. Another vehicle with a Brandy vanity tag hits her. Finally, a third vehicle with a Halle vanity tag strikes her. Appropriately enough, a black female dressed as Cat Woman flees from the accident. After Halle hits her, Megan’s poor mom flies through the air and lands in her freshly dug grave.

Meanwhile, Megan enrolls in an inner city high school, Musical High School. She meets Thomas (Damon Wayans Jr.) and they become an item. Megan has shunned dancing since her mom’s accidental death. Eventually, Thomas persuades her to take up hip-hop dancing. Later, on their first big date, Thomas takes Megan to the ballet. Megan is shocked. The ballet recreates the events that culminated in her mom’s death involving a stalled gasoline tanker truck along with those reckless celebrity drivers with vanity tags.

Aside from Thomas, Megan meets a variety of oddballs at Musical High. The first day at lunch in the cafeteria, the entire student body breaks into a routine from the movie “Fame” where everybody plays a musical instrument, including a blind kid named Ray (George Gore II) who displays exceptional piano skills. The "Fame" lyrics has been altered to something considerably more salacious as well as silly. Megan’s ghetto hall locker neighbor is Charity (Essence Atkins of “How High”) and Charity hauls her infant son to school everyday and hangs him in her locker while she attends classes. Megan discovers that Charity’s brother is none other than Thomas! In another “Save the Last Dance” scene, Charity reprimands Megan for her interracial romance with Thomas when African-American gals are running out of their own race to date.

Imagine the usual line-up of characters in teen dance musicals. Each has a counterpart in “Dance Flick,” right down to the pairing an obese “Hairspray” type girl and her dream boy jock who would rather play Juliet in “Romeo & Juliet” than dribble for his father’s high school basketball team. Megan gapes when she meets her dance class instructor, Ms. Cameltoé (Amy Sedaris of “Bewitched”), who lives up to her descriptive surname. Meanwhile, Thomas and his main man, A-Con (Affion Crockett of “Soul Men”), have their own troubles. A-Con is a street hoodlum with no ambition, but Thomas aspires to be a gynecologist. Thomas dreams of attending Jus Community College. They have a dance crew that participates regularly in street dance competitions. They have lost $5-thousand during their last street dance contest. Now, they owe the five grand to a local gangsta, Sugar Bear (David Allen Grier of “An American Carol”), and he demands his dough. Sugar Bear resembles Jabba the Hutt of “Star Wars” and cannot consume enough candy, pies, and sugary treats.

Primarily, director Damien Wayans has taken "Save the Last Dance" and crossed it with “Step Up 2 The Streets,” supplementing it with characters from other movies like "Hairspray," "Ray," and "Fame.” For instance, the obese girl, Tracy Transfat (Chelsea Makela), who attends Musical High, is modeled on chubby Tracy Turnblad from “Hairspray” while the basketball coach's son resembles Zac Efron from “High School Musical.” Grier is riotous in an obvious fat suit as Sugar Bear and Chris Elliott plays Megan’s sordid, low-life father. Naturally, the entire Wayans clan gets in on the action. Shawn plays Charity’s baby’s daddy. Shawn has several amusing scenes. Marlon ranks as the most outrageous as an idiotic drama teacher who has made only one movie. He played a slave in a “Mandingo” plantation movie where he cut off his leg. Keenen Ivory plays street dance promoter Mr. Stache with the whitest fake teeth you’ve ever seen.

The Wayans have been masters at politically incorrect parodies since their Fox-TV series “In Living Color” (1990-1994), and they ridicule stereotypes mercilessly here for maximum merriment. They rag straight people, gay people, black people, white people, teachers, and drunken celebrities. When A-Con tells Thomas that he cannot become a doctor because he has guns for hands, he displays his gun hands and calls himself Edward Triggerfingers after the Johnny Depp movie “Edward Scissorhands.” Altogether, “Dance Flick” is a cakewalk of a comedy.