FILM REVIEW OF ''THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL" (1965)

In his well-researched landmark biography of John Sturges, film critic Glenn Lovall points out the failure of “The Hallelujah Trail” at the box office forced John Sturges back into being a contract director. Unfortunately, this ambitious, $ 7 million dollar, two-hour and forty-five minute western extravaganza did prove to be Sturges’ undoing.  Sadly, according to Wikipedia, this United Artists’ release generated only $4 million during its initial release. Nevertheless, I’ve always thought it was an incredibly hilarious and splendidly staged western comedy.  The closest that Sturges had come to making a comedy was the Frank Sinatra & Dean Martin western “Sergeants Three,” but “The Hallelujah Trail” (*** OUT OF ****) was far from anything that “The Magnificent Seven” helmer had ever undertaken.  Sturges assembled a first-rate cast.  Burt Lancaster, who starred in Sturges’ first big western “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral,” took top billing as Colonel Thaddeus Gearhart.  Gearhart was a traditional, straight-laced U.S. Calvary commander who is in charge of a frontier fort who has a beautiful daughter, Louise Gearhart (Pamela Tiffin of “One, Two, Three”), who is hopelessly in love with an officer, Captain Paul Slater (Jim Hutton of “Major Dundee”), who serves under Gearhart at the fort.  At one point, Gearhart finds Slater and his daughter rolling around on his bear skin rug.  The hugely funny western takes advantage of the usual elements of most standard-issue oaters.  There is the inevitable clash between the U.S. Calvary and the Native Americans.  Similarly, the alcoholic frontiersmen ruffle the feathers of the Ladies of the Temperance Movement.  This sprawling, ‘battle of the sexes’ western brings together all these parties for an incredible finale in a swamp.

John Gay’s complicated screenplay based on William Gulick’s entertaining western novel concerns the efforts of desperate Denver merchants inspired by 'Oracle' Jones (Donald Pleasence of “The Great Escape”) to get a wagon train of liquor to them before they exhaust their supplies for the winter.  Signs indicate that the winter will be the worst in years, and the merchants refuse to run out of suds.  Moreover, a citizens’ committee shares the merchant’s anxiety.  Meantime, beer merchant Frank Wallingham (Brian Keith of “The Wind and the Lion”) organizes an emergency shipment of booze to Denver. However, he must contend with some obnoxious Irish teamsters, led by Kevin O'Flaherty (Tom Stern of “Clay Pigeon”), who feel he is exploiting them.  O'Flaherty constantly addresses Wallingham as “your lordship,” and Wallingham grumbles about it the entire time.  Of course, when the Indians learn about this huge shipment of liquor, they decide to help themselves to it.  Walllingham demands that Gearhart provide an escort to safeguard his booze from Chief Walks-Stooped-Over (Martin Landau of “Impossible Impossible”) as well as Chief Five Barrels (Robert J. Wilke of “The Magnificent Seven”) and they bring along their respective tribes.  If contending with Indians armed with Winchester repeating rifles weren’t enough of a challenge, Wallingham faces opposition from a well-known Temperance champion, Miss Cora Templeton Massingale (Lee Remick of “The Omen”), who just happens to be holding meetings at Gearhart’s fort.  Massingale decides to intercept the shipment of suds and destroy the cargo, and Gearhart’s daughter joins her. Naturally, an upset Colonel Gearhart decides Sergeant Buell (John Anderson of “The Satan Bug”) and he must provide an escort for these dames to keep them out of harm’s way.

Lancaster is absolutely brilliant as the square-jawed, Calvary colonel who must supervise everything in this massive sagebrusher. His comic timing is impeccable.  The scenes he has with Lee Remick will keep you in stitches as she manipulates him skillfully throughout the narrative. The contempt these two characters have for each other inevitably brings them together in the long run. The dialogue is crisp and smirk inducing, especially when Gearhart reprimands his top sergeant to his lack of Army strategy.  Sturges doesn’t slight anybody, and he gives some rather unusual parts to actors who had never done anything like these roles. Martin Landau is terrifically amusing as Chief Who Walks Stooped Over, and British actor Donald Pleasence, who eventually played villain in “Will Penny,” is cast as a barfly.  Crowning all these wonderful performances is Elmer Bernstein’s impressive orchestral score and “Satan Bug” lenser Robert Surtee’s radiant widescreen photography. In addition to “The Hallelujah Trail,” Surtees photographed not only “Escape from Fort Bravo,” but also “The Law and Jake Wade” for Sturges.  If you enjoy happily-ever-after comedies where the performers behave as if they were is a serious dramatic saga, “The Hallelujah Trail” qualifies as ideal entertainment.

FILM REVIEW OF ''R.I.P.D.'' (2013)

Actor Jeff Bridges chews the scenery ravenously in the supernatural action-comedy “R.I.P.D.” (**1/2 stars out of ****) where he camps it up as a posthumous Old West marshal.  “Red” director Robert Schwentke and “Clash of the Titans” scenarists Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi have adapted writer Peter M. Lenkov’s Bangsian fantasy that Dark Horse Comics published back in 1999. For the record, a Bangsian fantasy appropriates either a literary figure or a historical personage for a fable laid in the afterlife.  Like Lenkov’s graphic novel, Schwentke’s imaginative but formulaic melodrama emulates both “Ghostbusters” and “Men in Black.”  Ryan Reynolds of “Green Lantern” co-stars as Bridges’ straight-guy sidekick.  As Bridges’ co-star,  Reynolds takes his character a mite more seriously.  He plays a contemporary Boston policeman who perishes in the line of duty.  Meanwhile, charming Mary-Louise Parker of “Weeds” is cast as their supervisor in the Rest In Peace Department.  Despite its hopelessly derivative origins, “R.I.P.D.” qualifies as an above average epic.  Happily, “R.I.P.D.” isn’t a sequel.  This hybrid 'origins' thriller about the after-life often makes for murky melodrama, but the larger-than-life characters and the stalwart cast will keep you interested.  Impressive CGI visual effects, atmospheric cinematography, hilarious sight gags, and a lean and mean 96-minute running time constitute its best qualities.  The worst thing about this Universal Pictures’ comic book adaptation is that it doesn’t always provide enough details for many of its plot holes.  In other words, we learn little about the origins of the R.I.P.D. and its rules.  Nevertheless, the film adaptation is a vast improvement over Lenkov's graphic novel.

 

In “R.I.P.D.,” the dead struggle to evade eternal judgment and hole up indefinitely on Earth.  These amoral minions are designated as ‘deados,’ and they are dastardly.  Remember in the “Men in Black” movies how the bugs concealed themselves in animals and humans?  Just the opposite occurs here.  When the ‘deados’ are exposed, these apparently normal people swell up into misshapen Goliaths.  No, they aren’t as huge as the Marshmallow Man in director Ivan Reitman’s “Ghostbusters.”  Nevertheless, they can leap across vast spaces, scramble up the sides of skyscrapers like cockroaches, and raise a whole lot of Hell.  Unless lawmen like Roy Pulsipher (Bridges) and Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) expose these post-mortem madmen for the monsters that they are, the Earth will suffer.  According to their boss lady, Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker), the souls of the death continue to rot on Earth and create a stench that pollutes the environment.  Our heroes wield flashy, extra-large handguns with celestial white bullets like those in the “Underworld” movies.  Roy and Nick can shoot these ‘deados’ and permanently erase them.  Proctor recruited Roy and Nick after they died, and they fill the ranks of other legendary lawmen that prowl the Earth for these despicable ‘deados.’

Detective Sergeant Nick Walker is living ‘happily ever after’ with his pretty wife Julia (Stephanie Szostak of “Iron Man 3”) in Boston.  As the story unfolds, Julia awakens Nick and comments about an orange tree growing in their back yard.  What poor Julia doesn’t know is Nick and his shady partner Hayes (Kevin Bacon of “X-Men: First Class”) just made a drug bust and stumbled onto a cache of gold.  Rather than turning the precious ore over to the authorities, Hayes convinced Nick to split it with him.  Nick buries his gold in the hole that he carved out of his yard for the orange tree.  After Julia assures him that all she needs in life is his love, Nick has second thoughts and a guilty conscience.  He tells Hayes he must turn in his share of the gold.  Nevertheless, he assures Hayes that he would never inform on him if Hayes keeps his share.  Reluctantly, Hayes agrees that his dreams of buying a speedboat with his share were illusionary.  At that moment, the Boston Police receive a tip that the ‘most wanted’ meth dealer in town has been located.  Nick and Hayes barrel into the hide-out with the rest of Boston’s Finest either on their heels or swarming around them in helicopters.  During the melee, Hayes confronts Nick and shoots him repeatedly.  Nick plunges to his death.  No sooner has Nick died that his body is drawn aloft into a heavenly vortex.  All this action transpires efficiently during the first quarter hour of “R.I.P.D.” 

Proctor awaits Nick with a bottle of Fresca on her desk.  She explains that the Rest in Peace Department needs of men with his special skills.  She assigns him to Marshal Roy Pulsipher, but Pulsipher doesn’t want a new partner.  In some ways, Roy behaves like Dirty Harry.  He prefers to work solo, but Proctor persuades Roy to mentor Nick.  Although our heroes are deceased, they aren’t flesh-eating zombies.  They exist in another dimension, but they can tread the Earth the same way as humans and their ‘deado’ adversaries.  The first thing that Roy does for Nick is escort him to his own funeral.  Furiously, Nick watches helplessly as the treacherous Hayes consoles Julia.  Initially, Nick agrees to serve on the R.I.P.D. Boston chapter so he could be near his wife.  The catch is neither Roy nor Nick look like they did when they were alive.  Instead, they have been assigned avatars.  Roy’s avatar is drop-dead-gorgeous Opal Pavlenko (Victoria’s Secrets’ model Marisa Millar), while Nick’s avatar is an elderly Chinese man named Jerry Chen (James Hong of “Chinatown”).  “R.I.P.D.” switches back and forth between our protagonists and their avatars, but it doesn’t wear the joke out.  Eventually, Nick gets another avatar and the closing moments of the movie will have you laughing out loud at his new avatar.

Jeff Bridges delivers an outlandish Yosemite Sam performance reminiscent of his Oscar-nominated performance as Marshal Rooster Cogburn in the “True Grit” remake.  Kevin Bacon makes a hopelessly obnoxious villain. He wants to build a mysterious tower of gold. The best thing about “R.I.P.D.” is that it’s derivative but different.  Hollywood abhors originality.  You won’t see another comic blockbuster like “R.I.P.D.” this summer, and this will be sufficient for most moviegoers.

FILM REVIEW OF "THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE"

Nothing about the new Walt Disney juvenile fantasy-comedy “The Sorcerer's Apprentice" (*** out of ****) makes a lick of sense. Nevertheless, “National Treasure” director Jon Turteltaub along with “Race to Witch Mountain” scripter Matt Lopez and “Prince of Persia” scribes Doug Miro and Carlo Bernard have conjured up such a harmless, featherweight, phantasmagorical fantasy that you need not worry about its list of clichés. This centuries old tale about a venerable Arthurian wizard who tutors a 21st century, twenty-something, New York City physics nerd in the art of uttering incantations and casting spells is appealing but predictable summer entertainment laced with dazzling computer generated graphics. The rival wizards in “The Sorcerer's Apprentice" have a blast bringing gigantic, inanimate objects to life with their outlandish magic. Leather-coated hero Nicolas Gage swoops across the glittering Manhattan horizon after dark astride the steel eagle from the Chrysler building, while villainous Alfred Molina breathes life into the Wall Street bull so it can gore his adversary. This hopelessly derivative adventure remains fairly nimble throughout its brisk 108-minutes thanks to Turteltaub’s energetic helming and a charismatic cast. Not even the most impressionable adolescent could possibly seek refuge in their parent’s arms as this whimsy unfolds. Nothing remotely scary occurs during the derring-do that the heroes and villains do.

“The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” opens with a whirlwind expository prologue set in the year 740 A.D. The illustrious Arthurian wizard Merlin (James A. Stephens of “Sherlock Holmes”) and the evil sorceress Morgana Le Fay (Alice Krige of “Star Trek: First Contact”) clash in a life and death struggle over the future of mankind. Morgana dreams of raising a zombie army in an infamous ceremony called ‘the rising’ to enslave the world. Merlin’s two most trustworthy protégés, Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage of “Next”) and Veronica (Monica Bellucci of “Shoot 'Em Up”), arrive too late to save the elderly wizard from death. Nevertheless, the beautiful Veronica summons her own potent magic and absorbs Morgana’s wicked soul into her own body. Once inside Veronica’s lovely body, Morgana tries to kill her from within. Since Balthazar lacks the power to defeat Morgana, he traps Morgana and Veronica handily in the Grimhold. Basically, the Grimhold consists of a set of dolls of smaller sizes inserted one within the other. Veronica and Morgana remain imprisoned until Balthazar can find the person who can destroy Morgana. Merlin gives Balthazar a Dragon Ring that will recognize the Prime Merlinian and wrap itself around his forefinger. The Prime Merlinian is Merlin’s direct descendent, and the only wizard who can whip Morgana. Meantime, as Merlin’s 1,300-year-old understudy embarks on his global quest to find the Prime Merlinian, Balthazar imprisons other villainous sorcerers determined to free Morgana. One of those minions is Balthazar’s former friend Maxim Horvath (Alfred Molina of “Spider-man 2”) who despises Balthazar. Horvath is jealous because Veronica fell in love with Balthazar. Dutifully, Balthazar searches for a thousand years with no luck until he takes up residence in the Big Apple in an old curiosity shop of antiques.

Ten-year old Dave (Jake Cherry of “Night at the Museum”) has a knack for doing some pretty cool things. During a subway train ride into the city, Dave sketches the figure of King Kong with biplanes attacking the great ape on the window of his coach. Dave leaves out the details because his sketch lines up perfectly with the Empire State Building, and young blond Becky (Peyton List of “Remember Me”) thinks that Dave is something else. As their class outing winds down, Dave passes Becky a message. Is he cool enough to be Becky’s friend or her romantic interest? She circles one of the responses and folds the note. When Dave tries to collect it, a gust of wind whisks it away with Dave in hot pursuit. It flies from a bike tire to a dog’s paw and eventually into Balthazar’s shop. Dave ventures inside and Balthazar lets him try on the ring. Presto, the Dragon takes up residence on Dave’s forefinger. Balthazar leaves Dave alone momentarily to fetch a book of incantations when Maxim Hovarth arrives and all hell breaks loose. Actually, Dave knocked over the nesting doll, and disgusting bugs—as in Brendan Fraser “The Mummy”—swarm from the outermost doll to form Hovarth. Balthazar and Hovarth tangle. They set the building on fire. Dave flees with the remnants of the Grimhold and throws it into the street. During all this chaos, Dave’s pants are splashed, and his school chums laugh in derision at his predicament, believing that he has urinated on himself. Poor Becky feels bad for Dave. Meantime, Balthazar has taken Hovarth with him and confined him in a vase. They remain trapped there for ten years.

Ten years later, David (whiny Jay Baruchel of “She's Out of My League”) is a 20-year old N.Y.U. physics geek. He runs into Becky (Teresa Palmer of “Bedtime Stories”) at the university and they hook up. Meantime, Hovarth escapes from the vase and Balthazar isn’t far behind his arch foe. Hovarth renews his search for the elusive Russian doll that holds Morgana. Balthazar catches up with David and convinces him that he has a legacy to fulfill as Merlin’s successor. Initially, David lacks confidence and this lack of confidence clouds his relationship with Becky, but she likes him despite his foolish behavior. David uses an old subway station turn-around as a laboratory where he conducts his experiments and impresses Becky. Balthazar warns David that they have no time for romance as Hovarth retrieves the Grimhold and sheds its shells. Horvath plans to free Morgana. Desperately, Balthazar has to whip David into shape, but David seems like a lost cause.
Mind you, “Harry Potter” fans may complain that this hodgepodge hocus-pocus lacks a certain dignity. Meanwhile, Disney purists may scoff at cinematic alchemist, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, for his homage to the 9-minute Mickey Mouse scene in Disney's classic "Fantasia" (1940) with the inspirational dish-washing scene about an hour into this obstreperous comedy of errors.