FILM REVIEW OF "SON OF DRACULA" (1943)

Although I'm a super big fan of Lon Chaney, Sr., I've never admired his son Lon Chaney, Jr. While Junior fared better as the sympathetic Lawrence Talbot in "The Wolf Man," this big, burly individual is woefully miscast as the urbane, sophisticated Count Dracula in Robert Siodmak's "Son of Dracula." Okay, I'll give Chaney credit for being the first Dracula with a mustache. Was it Chaney's idea or Siodmak's? Other than John Carradine and Christopher Lee, most Draculas are smooth-shaven gents, but Junior needed more than a mustache to make himself a menacing bloodsucker in this otherwise imaginative but flawed chiller. Junior constitutes the chief flaw. His delivery is stilted beyond belief. When he utters 'decadent' as de-kay-dent, you want to chuckle. Chaney's dialogue delivery doesn't sound scary.  Perhaps he should have adopted a strong dialect.  In any case, he doesn't radiate that evil Bela Lugosi glint in his eyes. Moreover, he doesn't send a chill either up or down your spine. He looks handsome in his outfits, but he lacks the arrogance of immortality. The lack of aristocracy in his conduct doesn't help. Oddly enough, Dracula comes off as somewhat of a chump. Moments of atmosphere, particularly the off-beat setting for this second sequel, and the strange nature of the screenplay compensate for some of the weird things. The sight of Dracula and his bride letting a Justice of the Peace marry them is faintly amusing. On the other hand, the Count's emergence from the swamp is a nice touch.  Dracula's ability to turn into mist and bats before our eyes makes "Son of Dracula" worth-watching.

Appropriately enough, "Son of the Dracula" opens with a pair of hands clearing out cobwebs. Remember eight years had passed since the release of "Dracula's Daughter." The Southern Gothic setting with the moss covered swamp lands is wonderfully sinister. Initially, Frank Stanley (Robert Paige of "Flying G-Men") and Dr. Harry Brewster (Frank Craven of "Barbary Coast") arrive at a railroad depot to greet Count Alcuard. The Transylvanian nobleman, however, is nowhere to be seen. They spot the railway luggage cart stacked high with two chests and other assorted luggage bearing the family crest of Alcuard. Immediately, Brewster notices when he spells Alucard backwards that it reads Dracula. Dracula (Lon Chaney, Jr.) makes his first appearance outside 'Dark Oaks,' the antebellum planation where Katherine 'Kay' Caldwell (Louise Allbritton of "Parachute Nurse") eagerly awaits his arrival. She has thrown a dinner party for him, but he arrives too late to participate.  She plans to marry Dracula.

Katherine's elderly gray-headed father, Colonel Caldwell (George Irving of "Coquette"), is Dracula's first victim.The Colonel's death is the catalyst for the plot.  Initially, when Judge Simmons reads the Colonel's will, Katherine and her sister Claire receive equal shares of everything.  This will is dated August 24th.  Katherine produces a newer will.  She inherits Dark Oaks, while Claire gets everything else. Frank Stanley is madly in love with Katherine, but she only has eyes for Dracula. She met Dracula during a trip to Budapest and hasn't been the same girl.. Meanwhile, Dr. Brewster summons a renowned vampire hunter, Professor Lazlo (J. Edward Bromberg of "Invisible Agent") from Memphis. Like Van Helsing, Lazlo knows everything about Dracula, especially how to destroy him. Frank shoots Dracula with a revolver after he learns that Kirby married them. He flees in horror when his first bullet penetrates Dracula and kills Kay. Frank fires two more shots, discards the revolver, and charges through the dark swamp. He takes refuge in Dr. Harry Brewster's house. Later, Frank surrenders to the authorities and takes the blame for Kay's murder. Dr. Brewster visits Dark Oaks but finds Kay alive. She carries on a conversation with him from her bed.

Dracula's first rendezvous with Kay in the swamp is truly atmospheric. The Count's coffin emerges from the watery depths like a submarine. A mist percolates out of it and turns into Dracula. Literally, Dracula levitates himself across the water to Kay. They drive off to the Justice of the Peace with a jealous Frank shadowing them. The special effects transformation where Dracula turnS his back to the camera and then turns into a flying bat is impressive for its day. It looks cool when the lady vampire dematerializes as a fog bank in the jail cell. The burning of Dracula's coffin as a way to destroy him was a new one on me. Mind you, every studio that has ever made a vampire movie

tampers with the formula. The premise that a woman would flirt with Dracula to obtain immortality then double-cross him is interesting. Dracula cuckolded!? Indeed, "Son of Dracula" seems more like film noir than horror. Things get pretty complicated and these complications make "Son of Dracula" worth watching.

The gimmick of spelling Dracula's name backwards is clever. Anybody but Lon Chaney, Jr., would have made a serviceable Dracula. The guy looks like he ought to be stuffing baloney into his big hammy jowls instead of draining bodies of blood with his fangs. Incidentally, you never see his fangs, but then you never saw either Lugosi's fangs or Carradine's fangs. The Production Code Administration (PCA) probably ruled out such a toothy display on the grounds that it was too repellent. George Robinson's white photography is textbook perfect. He takes a two-dimensional format and gives it a three-dimensional look by bringing out the foreground from the background and the mid-ground.

Altogether, "Son of Dracula" surpasses "Dracula's Daughter." Nevertheless, you have to overlook the obvious lapse of continuity in "Phantom of the Opera" scenarist Eric Taylor's screenplay that he

derived from Siodmak's story. Basically, the studio maintained no continuity for Dracula. Siodmak and Taylor make no references to previous "Dracula" movies. Universal Studios observed far greater

continuity in the "Frankenstein" and "The Wolfman" franchises. Doesn't it say something when the second "Dracula" sequel appeared eight years after "Dracula's Daughter?" The latter in-name-only sequel without Lugosi and only a glimpse of the infamous Count in a coffin with a stake driven into his heart amounted to a letdown compared with the vintage original. The change in the character of Dracula is even more apparent in "Son of Dracula." Perhaps they simply couldn't conjure up a reasonable excuse about how to keep reviving the count. Of course, Universal should have brought back Lugosi. Presumably, studio politics kept Lugosi from encoring in the role until "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein." "Daughter's Daughter" and the remaining "Dracula" movies qualify as stand alone sequels. Remember, Countess Zaleska burned Dracula's body in "Dracula's Daughter." In "Son of Dracula," however, the vampire expert states the Dracula died in the 19th century.

FILM REVIEW OF ''WHITE ZOMBIE" (1932)

Director Victor Halperin’s “White Zombie” (***1/2 OUT OF ****) boasts the distinction of being the first official Hollywood zombie epic.  Mind you, the undead here are not as pugnacious as  those in the cinema of George Romeo and his imitators.  Indeed, these zombies are similar because they are undead.  Nevertheless, they don’t crave the flesh of the living like insatiable cannibals.  Like Romeo’s zombies, Halperin’s undead are mindless hulks with neither a soul nor a trace of animation.  They walk slowly without alacrity, and they never utter so much as a syllable.  They stare without blinking.  Although their presence is eerie, they are not as scary as the individual who commands them.  

Murder Legendre (Bela Lugosi) controls them as if they were puppets. The inspired casting of Lugosi as the insidious zombie master earmarks Halperin’s film  as a vintage horror chiller. Lugosi’s make-up augments another of his more evocative performances.  Some have argued with validity that “White Zombie” overshadows “Dracula,” and Lugosi emerges as more diabolical than he was as Stoker’s legendary vampire.  You won’t forget those intimidating close-ups of Lugosi’s eyes, especially when Halperin superimposes them over other images.   The moments when Murder is show carving statutes out of wax candles is as genuinely creepy as his intensely sinister stare.  Lugosi resembles Satan himself with his hair protruding in a widow’s peak on his forehead and his peculiar looking goatee.  Murder Legendre appears in formal attire and looks like a Catholic priest with his broad-brimmed hat when we see him for the first time in the night at the side of a road.  Appropriately enough, Halperin and scenarist Garnett Weston furnish Murder with a pet Vulture that emphasizes his villainy.   An actual vulture itself, this foul bird emits an eldritch cry that is pretty unnerving. The best moments in "White Zombie" feature Murder.

Despite the overall creepy atmosphere that Halperin forges with the zombies, the West Indies setting, and Lugosi, “White Zombie”  amounts to little more than a simple but formulaic tale of boy wins girl, boy loses girl, and boy wins girl back.  The film is reportedly based on William B. Seabrook’s novel “The Magic Island.” Essentially, a young Caucasian couple travels to the remote plantation of Charles Beaumont (Robert Frazer) in Haiti where they are to be married.  The first time that we see the couple they are riding in a carriage through the night.  They interrupt a ceremony in the middle of the road and learn to their surprise that it is none other than a funeral.  Their coachman explains that the natives bury corpses in the road to prevent anybody from digging them up and turning them into zombies.  Anyhow, since Beaumont met Madeline during the voyage from New York City to Port-au-Prince, he has yearned secretly for her hand, even though she plans to marry one of his employees.  Desperate to possess the girl, Beaumont manages to persuade Neil Parker (John Harron) and Madeline (Madge Bellamy) to delay their marriage until they reach his estate deep in the jungle.  

Despite his severe misgivings, Beaumont  strikes a Faustian deal with the villainous zombie master to seduce her.  The wealthy plantation owner visits Murder at his sugar mill where the villain employs zombies to harvest his crop.  One of the most spine-chilling scenes in “White Zombie” occurs in the sugar mill where Halperin shows the zombies delivering baskets of sugar cane.  The zombies tote the baskets atop their heads. They enter by means of a catwalk above a huge grinding mill that other zombies operate which grinds up the sugar.  One of the zombies loses his balance and falls into the grinder.  Of course, the zombie doesn’t scream in agony because it doesn’t experience any pain.  Halperin compounds the horror by not showing the poor fellow being ground up.  Similarly, the zombie doesn’t cry out in agony because it doesn’t experience any pain.  The scene is one of the strangest in “White Zombie.”  Initially, Beaumont is convinced that if he can separate Madeline from Neil for at least a month that he can win her over, but Murder argues otherwise.  Murder contends that Beaumont couldn’t woo Madeline away from Neil in a lifetime. Instead, Lugosi provides the jealous  Beaumont with a vial of medicine that will induce a state of death and send Madeline to her grave.  He instructs Beaumont to use only a “pin-point” in either a flower or a glass of wine.  As they descend the stairs together, the hopeless Beaumont realizes that he cannot dissuade Madeline from marrying Neil so he hands her a rose and she sniffs it fragrant aroma.  Not long afterward, Madeline collapses.

A missionary, Dr. Bruner (Joseph Cawthorn), has been summoned to perform the marriage.  Bruner has spent 30 years in the West Indies and is thoroughly familiar with the superstitions that guide the natives.  Cawthorn is suspicious of Beaumont’s motives.  The equivalent of a Professor Van Helsing, he comforts the disconsolate Neil during his separation from Madeline and acts as an intermediary between Neil and the Haitians.  At one point, in Murder’s house, he knocks out an assailant bent on killing Neil who had collapsed on a couch not far from where Madeline and Murder were sitting.

Of course, Neil, the grief-stricken suitor, cannot get his beloved bride out of his mind.  Halperin captures Neil’s desperation during a scene in a bar where only Neil is seen drinking while the shadows of other patrons dance across the walls.  This scene acquires a surreal quality because at one point Neil sees Madeline as one of the shadows.  He strikes up a friendship with Dr. Bruner.  Eventually, Neil wins Madeline back after Bruner and he ride to the far side of the island where they find the house of the undead. Neil enters Murder Legendre’s estate perched as it is on a cliff by the sea.  Ironically enough, in the finale, Charles Beaumont reunites Neil and Madeline when he breaks the spell that Murder has over Madeline by pushing the zombie master off the cliff and taking the plunge to follow him.  “White Zombie” concludes with Dr. Bruner asking Neil for a match as he had done when they first met at Beaumont’s plantation.  

FILM REVIEW OF ''JOHN CARTER" (2012)

Oscar winning "Finding Nemo" director Andrew Stanton struggles to make Edgar Rice Burroughs' vintage cowboys and aliens epic "John Carter" (**1/2 out of ****) into a spontaneous, larger-than-life, saga about tyranny and rebellion on the Red Planet. Mind you, Asylum Entertainment beat Disney Studios to the punch with its own abysmal adaptation of the Burroughs' novel "A Princess of Mars" that recycled just about every genre cliché. Essentially, Disney and Stanton have delivered what qualifies as a synthesis of "The Outlaw Josey Wales" and "Star Wars." This is one of those sci-fi actioneers with a universe populated by anthropomorphic animals and mythological "Clash of the Titans" intermediaries. Burroughs penned his colorful pulp escapism about a century ago in 1912 before stories like it became commonplace. Since Hollywood lacked the computer generated technology to make the world of fantasy appear believable on celluloid, the filmmakers preoccupied themselves with Burroughs' less challenging Tarzan novels. By the time Tinsel town conjured up the technology to produce movies about similar escapades on other worlds, the studios had gone off on their own tangents. In other words, the John Carter novels languished in obscurity, while later epics like "Star Wars," "Dune," and "Avatar" emerged and appropriated similar themes. What had been groundbreaking when Burroughs wrote it now looks hackneyed, even though Burroughs forged the formula that others imitated. The cinematic "John Carter" gives new meaning to the adage about the first being last. Sadly, too, despite its imaginative special effects, this yarn amounts to another cookie cutter, sci-fi/fantasy melodrama that suffers from a sense of déjà vu.

Disillusioned Confederate cavalry officer John Carter (Taylor Kitsch of "The Covenant") is prospecting for gold in Arizona when the U.S. Seventh Cavalry tries to recruit him to combat hostile Apaches. Carter refuses not only because this isn't his fight, but also because he has already the Civil War claimed the lives of his wife and daughter. Carter escapes from the guardhouse, purloins a horse, and absconds into wilds. Our hero doesn't get far before he finds himself caught between pugnacious Apaches and trigger-happy cavalrymen. Gunfire erupts and Carter struggles to escape from the predatory redskins. Scrambling for the sanctuary of a cave that the superstitious savages refuse to enter, he surprises an ethereal alien with a supernatural medallion. Carter blasts this extraterrestrial, confiscates the pendant, and then suddenly finds himself sprawled on distant Mars. Mars resembles the desolate American southwest with its inhospitable terrain and inhabitants. He encounters tall, light-green warriors. These fellows boast an additional pair of arms, heads that resemble the Mutant Ninja Turtles, and large three-toed feet. These four-armed creatures with small tusks protruding from their jaws behave like barbarous African tribesmen and have domesticated animals to serve as their beasts of burden. When Carter isn't tangling with their garrulous giants, he contends with striking humanoid natives covered with tattoos who fly extraordinary mechanical airships which resemble Leonardo da Vinci's designs. The barbarians reside in the outlands, while the humanoids live in metropolitan cities of Helium and Zodanga.

Basically, a civil war has been raging for a thousand years between these rivals when John Carter arrives. The treacherous Sab Than (Dominic West), Jeddak of Zodanga wants to slaughter the citizens of Helium. A mysterious society of Therns, led by the villainous Matai Shang (Mark Strong of "The Green Lantern"), who serve the goddess Issus, intervenes and arms the Zodangans with a powerful weapon called the Ninth Ray. Helium has nothing to match this devastating blue laser technology. The ubiquitous Therns, however, refuse to let the Zodangans annihilate Helium. They advise Sab Than to marry the Princess of Helium, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins), to create a stronger society. The defiant Princess flees, and Sab Than pursues her. He destroys her ship, buts she falls into John Carter's arms. On Mars, our eponymous protagonist isn't the same fellow as he was in Virginia. He can leap vast distances and packs a haymaker of a punch that drops his adversaries as if they were straw. Predictably, Carter falls in love with the princess, and she reciprocates. Stanton, "Samurai Jack" scenarist Mark Andrews, and "Spider-Man 2" scribe Michael Chabon do a fair to middling job with their adaptation. Happily, this franchise inducing nonsense isn't too Disney-esque, but they have taken considerable liberties with Burroughs' book. Anybody who has seen enough sci-fi fantasies will spot the elements that inspired those who came after Burroughs to use them in their movies. Essentially, "John Carter" constitutes a "Stranger in a Strange Land." Like the quintessential adventurer, our hero embarks on a long journey and blunders into a civil war of sorts between two antagonistic factions.

 

You don't need Cliff Notes to distinguish the heroes from the villains on Mars. Incidentally, Mars isn't really Mars. Instead, the natives refer to it as Barsoom. One of the problems with any movie about an alien world is the environment as well as the natives. Everything might as well be happening on Earth for all of the difference that it makes. Since our hero is a foreigner on Mars, he learns rather painfully that his human powers enable him to do things in their atmosphere that he couldn't accomplish at home. The action often bogs down in complications, and it appears that some of the plot doesn't reach the screen. Further, the leads lack charisma. Taylor Kitsch supplies sufficient brawn, but he acts like a wooden Johnny Depp, while Lynn Collins looks like she has spent more time in the gym than a science laboratory. Dominic West fares best with his arrogant portrayal of an enemy bent on destruction, but you never really hate him with any passion. He is more of a pawn of the Therns. The enigmatic Therns are an irritating bunch of opportunists with a nasty habit of shape-shifting into other characters.

Altogether, despite it picturesque settings, "John Carter" emerges as a predictable yarn that delivers few revelations.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE GORILLA'' (1939)

Newspaper headlines proclaim the notorious ‘Gorilla’ has murdered several people.  The setting for this spooky comic murder mystery is the house of Warren Stevens.  Stevens’ estate is no ordinary edifice.  The mansion is a maze of secret passages.  Virtually, every room boasts a concealed panel.  Kitty (Patsy Kelly) the maid is reading the Shakespeare play "Romeo and Juliet" in bed when she sees the arm of a gorilla pin a note to her robe.  Kitty raves hysterically and runs around the mansion. Peters (Bela Lugosi of "Dracula") the butler calms Kitty and then examines that document.  Stevens (Lionel Atwill) peruses the note, too.  The note is a death threat for him.  A thunder storm with recurring lightning enhances the atmosphere laden with paranoia about when the ‘Gorilla’ will next strike.  The same night that this happens, Stevens sends an urgent radiogram to his niece Norma Denby.  It seems that Stevens and Norma are joint heirs under the terms of her late father’s will.  Until Norma marries, Uncle Walter is the executor of her estate.  Walter wants Norma and Jack to know what the contents of the estate are.  The next day Norma and her boyfriend arrive to find Walter feeling a little apprehensive about the death threat.  Of course, Walter has no idea why anybody would want to kill him.  Earlier, we see him on the phone begging for clemency about a payment of a debt amounting to $250-thousand.  Later, a genuine gorilla enters the mansion.  Somebody has knocked out the gorilla’s trainer and unlocked the beast’s cage.  Later, we learn that Poe the gorilla hates women. 

Stevens hires three detectives from the ACME Detective Agency.  The nitwit Ritz Brothers play the numbskull private eyes that Stevens hires to protect him from the homicidal ape on the loose.  They make their entrance about ten minutes into the action. They arrive in the pouring rain in a convertible with an umbrella serving as their roof.  They have cut holes for their eyes so they can see where they are driving.  “I’ll bet there’s a dead body in every room,” Garrity (Jimmy Ritz) observes before they climb out of her automobile.  At best, the Ritz Brothers are low-brow comics that rely on verbal wit and hammy acting to yield laughs.  They freak out at the very mention of the Gorilla’s name and Harrigan puts on a dumbshow when he encounters the ape.  Everybody is in the study when the lights go out and Stevens vanishes.  The Ritz Brothers try to reenact Stevens’ disappearance by using a stand-in for him.  “Look,” Mulligan says, “I’ve got an idea.  If we can figure out how Garrity disappeared, we can figure out how Stevens disappeared.”  Mulligan (Al Ritz) sits where Stevens sat behind the desk.  Harrigan (Harry Ritz) switches off the lights and Mulligan disappears.  The next stand-in for Stevens that Harrigan uses is Kitty.  This time the lights go out and Harrigan rather than the stand-in for Stevens disappears.  Suddenly, Kitty finds herself face-to-face with Peters.

At the halfway point in the film, a couple of other people arrive.  Not only does a mysterious but natty stranger (Joseph Calleia) appear without invitation, but our bumbling heroes discover a sailor in a closet.  The stranger prowls the premise after Harrigan has vanished as a part of his reenactment ploy.  The stranger finds Harrigan.  Initially, Harrigan suspects the stranger is the ‘Gorilla.’  The stranger explains he stepped into the house to use the telephone because his car broke down.  When Harrigan brandishes his revolver, the stranger assures him he is making a big mistake.  The stranger surprises Harrigan, knocks him unconscious, and claps handcuffs on him.  About forty minutes into the plot, A.P. Conway (Paul Harvey) storms into the mansion.  He is adamant about collecting a quarter of a million dollars.  “I have proof that Stevens have been stealing from his client’s accounts for over a year.”  He refuses to leave until he has his money.  More than ever the Ritz Brothers are determined to solve the mystery.  Eventually, they venture into the cellar and encounter the real gorilla.  During their search, Harrigan gets himself snagged to a dressing dummy and freaks out.  The fake gorilla attacks Norma.  Jack suspects Peters is the culprit because the butler is never around when anything occurs.  Later, Harrigan confronts the real gorilla in a clever scene when he thinks that his partners are accompanying him.  The sailor recovers and warns them about Poe.  Poe hates women.  The sailor says a man hired him and Poe.  Somebody clobbered the sailor and released Poe.  

Finally, the stranger reveals that he is a detective on the trail of the Gorilla.  The stranger finds a wire, and they trace it to a hidden room where he uncover a microphone and Stevens tied up and gagged.  They emerge with Stevens in handcuffs.  Norma explains if anything happens to her that Uncle Walter will inherit her part of the estate.  The detective explains that Stevens brought Norma to his house to kill her for her money.  The detective explains that Stevens hired the Ritz Brothers because he didn’t think that his life was in jeopardy.  When Harrigan is shaking the cop’s hand before he leaves, he discovers that the detective is the Gorilla.  Unveiled as the Gorilla, the detective confesses to his crimes.  “As for Mr. Stevens, he is just as crooked as I told you he was.  The trouble with him is he talks too much and too loud.  I got tipped off on what was going to happen here tonight. How he was going to pretend to be me.  I was going to get the $250-thousand and at the same time let him get the blame for all the Gorilla murders.”  The real surprise is the guy who gets the drop on the Gorilla.  Indeed, it is Peters.  Stevens explains to Norma that his special investigator, Conway, dreamed up this scheme to flush out the Gorilla.  It seems that the Gorilla had been preying on Stevens’ clients.  

   

“The Man in the Iron Mask” director Allan Dwan’s version of “The Gorilla” (*** OUT OF ****)  is the second remake of the Ralph Spence stage play.  Spence was a comic scriptwriter, too.  He wrote the screenplay for the Wheeler and Woolsey comedy “Hook, Line, and Sinker.” Scenarists Rian James and Sid Silvers have penned some snappy, rapid-fire dialogue for the Ritz Brothers that aptly illuminates their idiocy.  The gobbygook dialogue is amusing in its lunacy.  Dwan doesn’t squander a second in this fast-paced laffer.  He gets more mileage than you might imagine out of the weird sounds that a Zenith radio receiver emits with warnings about Stevens’ impending demise.  Bela Lugosi is cast as a sinister butler.  Typically, the cliché in murder mysteries such as this one is that the butler committed the crime.  Dwan uses Lugosi as an effective red herring.  Nobody likes or trusts the butler.  Dwan gets as much mileage out of Lionel Atwill as Stevens.  Patsy Kelly spends most of her time screaming in fright.  The fake gorilla that is supposed to be a real gorilla is hilarious because it is so obviously ersatz. 

FILM REVIEW OF ''PROJECT X" (2012)

Take the teen comedy “Can’t Hardly Wait” (1998) about an unruly house party, add a “Lethal Weapon IV” lunatic with a flame thrower, shoot it like “The Blair Witch Project,” and you’ve got freshman director Nima Nourizadeh’s outlandish opus “Project X” (*** out of ****) about a party-gone-wild.  Incidentally, “Hangover” director Todd Phillips, who produced this mammoth 88-minute mock-documentary, didn’t helm it. This R-rated, teensploitation tale about a high school student’s birthday party that escalates out of control is prudish compared with the “Hangover” movies. No transsexual prostitutes appear.  Nevertheless, the property damage is staggering. “Project X” delivers laugh-out-loud hilarity during its best moments, while some of its shenanigans amount to amusing contrivances. For example, drunken kids stuff a pugnacious dwarf into a kitchen oven.  After he escapes, the dwarf embarks on a genital punching rampage.  An anonymous but charismatic cast and the spontaneity with which events whirl out of control makes “Project X” an amoral but entertaining, white-knuckled rollercoaster of a comedy. Prepare yourself for displays of lewd, crude, rude, vulgar behavior wrapped up in general air of unreality. “Can’t Hardly Wait” meets “Porkys” best encapsulates “Project X.”  

Three North Pasadena high school students, Thomas Kub ( Thomas Mann), Costa (Oliver Cooper), and J.B. (Jonathan Daniel Brown), aren’t prepared for the consequences of a little birthday party that they are planning. Thomas is about to turn seventeen, and his foul-mouthed, best friend Costa wants to throw him a party. Of course, Costa sees Thomas’s birthday as nothing more than a ruse to invite dozens of sexy gals in tight clothes for a night out. Of course, Costa dreams about scoring, too. Costa hopes to hook his friend up with a hot chick and score a conquest of his own. Costa sends out text messages, e-mail blasts, and publishes the event on Craigslist. Initially, Thomas wanted no more than fifty people at his bash. He doesn’t want them inside his parents’ house, too. Imagine his surprise when between 1,500 and 2,000 people show up to celebrate his birthday and trash the premises! Ironically, Thomas’ bespectacled dad (Peter Mackenzie of “One Hour Photo”) shares the sentiments of many others who hold Thomas in contempt as a “loser.” He knows his son will invite some friends over while his wife and he are gone for the weekend.  Indeed, he forks over $40 in cash to buy pizzas. Naturally, he forbids Thomas from touching his Mercedes. Scenarists Matt Drake and Michael Bacall rely on Murphy’s Law in their clever screenplay. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Nevertheless, Nourizadeh and company paint our heroes as sympathetic but naive.

The party turns into an anarchic extravaganza. Before Thomas realizes it, guests overrun the house, clog the streets with their vehicles, and start shedding clothes. Two disc jockeys are spinning platters and playing club tunes. Hundreds of people are coming and going by the hour. Disgruntled neighbors are complaining about the racket. Costa has put a sign up that only naked women are allowed in the pool and the gals comply without a qualm. Thomas catches up with his favorite girl, Kirby (Kirby Bliss Blanton of “Scar”), and they get chummy at pool side. Things go awry later when he seduces campus hottie, Alexis (Alexis Knapp of “Couples Retreat’), and Kirby interrupts them. During a grocery store run before the bacchanal, our heroes encountered local high school baseball star Miles (Miles Teller of “Footloose”) and invite him. Miles agrees to bring the booze. Costa visits a paranoid guy named T-Rick (Rick Shapiro of “Pootie Tang”) and obtains Ecstasy pills. Costa steals a Santa Claus gnome that T-Rick treasures and stashes the synthetic amphetamines in it. What Costa isn’t prepared for is the rage that T-Rick unleashes when he visits Thomas' house to recover his prized possession. If this weren't enough, Costa has persuaded another high school kid named Dax (Dax Flame) to video the party. Essentially, “Project X” is seen from the perspective of Dax’s video camcorder, with shots from other cameras spliced in to capture the overall frenzy of the occasion. Whereas everybody else is pretty much who they are, Dax has an aura of mystery about him. Dax’s parents haven’t been seen in a long time, and he still attends school. He doesn’t drink and he dresses like a Goth from head to toe in black leather.

If “Project X” were just a raunchy version of “Can’t Hardly Wait” with people drank until they puked, it would be just another potboiler. The party itself provides the conflict as well as the setting for the conflict. The reactions of Thomas, Costa, and J.B. provide the humor. Thomas is catapulted from being just another nobody to a celebrity at his high school. Nerdy, overweight J.B. whose parents argue that he may be gifted in a belittling way probably grows more than his two friends over the course of the evening. Before everything goes up in smoke, J.B. emerges as a gigolo and a daredevil. He dives off Thomas’ roof with Dax’s camcorder and lands in the huge inflatable bouncy castle that Costa has furnished for the revelry. As funny as these three are, some of the supporting characters are scene stealers, particularly the two little guys in yellow windbreakers hired as security. They pop in an out of the proceedings and function more like ninja than security. One point they are prepared to torch a neighbor’s house because the owner threatens to call the cops.

Altogether, “Project X” is enormous fun. Reportedly, the filmmakers drew on an incident in Australia when a teen invited hundreds to his house while his parents were gone. No American film has attempted anything the magnitude of “Project X,” and director Nima Nourizadeh soft pedals the consequences of such an endeavor. In the end, what makes “Project X” memorable, rather than pointless nonsense which many will label it, is the reaction of Thomas’ father. “Project X” represents a definite hurdle for future house party movies to scale and a chilling cautionary tale to parents who entrust their property to their children while they are away.

FILM REVIEW OF ''STEAMBOAT BILL, JR" (1928-SILENT)

This imaginative comedy lacks the prestige of Buster Keaton's classic American Civil War comedy "The General." Nevertheless,"Steamboat Bill, Jr." (***1/2 out of ****)surpasses "College." Clocking in at a concise 69 minutes, this amusing father and son reconciliation drama includes a romance along the lines of William Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet." Furthermore, the narrative chronicles the emergence of our diminutive protagonist as a man who can master his fate after he appeared destined for disaster. In other words, Buster casts himself as an underdog again as he did in "College." The problem with this existential comedy is our hero's transition from a clumsy nincompoop to an expert acrobat who can perform high dives off the top of a steamboat and rig it up in such a way so he can operate it single-handedly lacks credibility. The only shred of evidence that our eponymous hero has what it takes occurs when he surprises the sheriff, slugs him in the stomach, and watches as the fellow falls like an avalanche. More amazing than any of Buster's clever sight gags as he learns his way around the paddle wheeler is the spectacular special effects. Remember, the special effects personnel pulled off these stunts long before computer-generated special effects were available.

The Carl Harbaugh story concerns a pugnacious Mississippi River paddle wheeler captain who meets his son, Willie (Buster Keaton of "The Three Ages"), for the first time since he last saw him as an infant in the crib. Essentially, Bill does not know what Willie looks like. Meantime, Willie arrives at River Junction from Boston dressed like a fashionable college graduate, wearing a beret, sporting a pencil thin mustache, a spotted bow-tie, and carrying a ukulele under his arm. He has sent his father a telegram informing him that he will be able to recognize him by the white carnation that he will be wearing in his coat lapel. Unfortunately, Willie seems to have forgotten that it is Mother's Day and everybody is wearing a white carnation. Bill (Ernest Torrence of "Captain Salvation") and his First Mate, Tom Carter (Tom Lewis of "Adam and Eva"), head off to the railway station fully expecting to greet a big strapping lad twice the size of William Canfield, Sr. Nobody at the train station fits the description of the elder Canfield's son. As the Southern Railway locomotive with the number 45 on it pulls out, it turns out that Willie Canfield has been out of sight on the other side of the tracks. He makes an idiot out of himself as he approaches all the men in the station and flashes his carnation at them. Eventually, Willie loses the carnation, but he does not realize it and keeps poking his empty lapel into the faces of strangers. Finally, Bill recognizes Willie by the tag on his luggage while Willie is dancing and playing his ukulele for a baby in a stroller. Clearly, the 1920s were a different age altogether when babies could be left unattended in carriages at a public place without fear of being abducted.

Once he has picked his son up at the depot, Bill ushers Willie into a barber chair and orders the barber to shave off the "barnacle" of a mustache on his lip. Later, Bill drags Willie to a haberdashery to replace the beret with a hat that a man would wear. No sooner have they left the store than a gust of wind whips the white hat off his head and blows it into the river. Willie pulls the beret out of his back pocket and slips it back onto his head. Predictably, Bill is surprised to see the beret reappear, but he does nothing. Earlier, while Willie enconsed in the barber chair, Willie noticed that a cute little thing sitting opposite him is none other than Kitty King (Marion Byron of "Song of the West"), who attended the same college in Boston. These two try to get together, but their fathers refuse to countenance their relationship. John James King (Tom McGuire of "The Reckless Age") tells Kitty that he will pick the right man for her and the candidate will not be "the son of a river tramp." Similarly, Bill tells Willie that he will choose an appropriate mate for him and will not have a King for a daughter-in-law. Basically, Steamboat Bill and King are competitors in the paddle wheeler business on the Missisippi River. Recently, King brought in his brand new paddle wheeler and convinces the Public Safety Commissioner condemn the paddle wheeler--the Stonewall Jackson--that Bill owns. Bill goes after King, and King has him thrown in jail. The same day that the sheriff puts Bill in jail is the very day that Bill had arranged transport for Willie back to Boston. Willie sees the authorities take his father to calaboose and contrives a scheme to break him out. He conceals several tools inside a giant loaf of bread and convinces the sheriff to let him give it to his father. Initially, Bill wants nothing to do with Willie until his son shows him what the loaf contains. Bill breaks out, but Willie is caught. The sheriff cracks an unsuspecting Willie over the head with his six-gun and sends Canfield Junior off to the receiving hospital.

The major set-piece of "Steamboat Bill, Jr." is a high wind storm that tears up all the buildings in River Junction, blows the top off the hospital, and sends the jail into the river. The physical sight gags that Keaton performs are some of his best and most imitated. In one scene, the entire facade of a building falls on Willie, but he is standing where the window is so he is not hurt! Each gag is beautifully orchestrated by director Chas. F. Reisner who specialized in comedies, including the lesser Marx Brothers picture "The Big Store" and the Abbott & Costello comedy "Lost in a Harem." Even the smallest of gags, such as peanut hulls--which Bill refers to as "cocoanut shells"--that cut their bare feet up when they cross a floor are hilarious. The spectacle of Keaton clutching an uprooted tree that is hurled into the river is incredible as are the flying buildings that Buster runs into and out of. Of course, Willie and Kitty hook up in the end. Keaton performs all of his stunts and they are pretty amazing. "Steamboat Bill, Jr." ranks as a memorable Buster Keaton epic with several well-staged sight gags.

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FILM REVIEW OF ''GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE" (2012)

 Nicolas Cage reprises his role as the incendiary Marvel Comics character Johnny Blaze, an Evel Knievel-type motorcycle stunt rider who sold his soul to the Devil, in "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance." This impudent, 95-minute, PG-13 opus is a reboot of the franchise rather than a sequel. The original "Ghost Rider" (2007) was a standard issue supernatural hero origins epic. Alternately adventurous, amorous, and absurd, this lightweight, middle-of-the-road, action mash-up was as tame as it was tedious. When the Rider wasn't tangling with either Mephistopheles or his rebellious son Blackheart, director Mark Steven Johnson pitted the him against the local constabulary conducting a homicide investigation. The protagonist’s outlandish motorcycle stunts amounted to cheesy hokum. Further, "Ghost Rider" imitated at least two scenes from the infinitely superior "Terminator 2: Judgment Day": Blackheart's assault on a biker bar and the Rider's encounter with the cops. Nevertheless, fans wallowed in this conventional nonsense, and "Ghost Rider" coined a fortune. Peter Fonda made a momentary but memorable impression as a sartorially elegant Mephistopheles, but the Rider's face-off against Blackheart (Wes Bentley made-up like a 19th century minstrel singer) to rescue his girlfriend Roxanne Simpson yielded no surprises. "Crank" co-directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor along with “Blade” scenarist David S. Goyer have drastically altered the franchise. Gone is Johnny Blaze's girlfriend. Gone are Johnny’s two guilty pleasures: eating jelly beans and listening to the Carpenters. Gone is Johnny's playful paranoia about his supernatural alter-ego. "Ghost Rider" qualified as a Disney superhero movie without any grit. If the two movies were compared to motorcycles, “Ghost Rider” would be a quiet, graceful Honda Gold Wing and “Spirit of Vengeance” would be a noisy, skeletal Yamaha dirt bike. Moreover, the color of Ghost Rider’s skull depicts the tonal differences. In the original, the skull is white, but in the reboot black.

"Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" (**1/2 out of ****) dispenses with Johnny's earlier ‘fear no evil’ credo. He dreads his lack of control over his combustible alter-ego. Indeed, he has fled in fear to Eastern Europe to lay low until he can come to grips with his condition. This doesn't discourage a wine-guzzling, motorcycle-riding, French monk, Moreau (Idris Elba of "Thor"), from tracking Johnny down and approaching him with a proposition. If Blaze will protect a helpless child from his malevolent father, Moreau assures him that his renegade order of monks will help him remove his curse. Moreau and his cassock-clad compatriots have Danny (Fergus Riordan of "Fragile") along with his attractive Gypsy mom, Nadya (Violante Placido of "The American"), hidden in their remote monastery. Basically, Danny is the spawn of the Devil. Moreau warns his father superior, Benedict (Anthony Head of “Scoop”), that Satan will stop at nothing to possess Danny. Basically, the Devil has taken the form of a human, Roarke (Ciarán Hinds of "Excalibur"), while he treads the Earth. Unfortunately, Satan’s power is waning because Roarke’s body is deteriorating. Satan needs Danny’s body for a ritual enacted at dawn before the Winter Solstice so he can rejuvenate his dominance. Interestingly, this child in jeopardy plot resembles a similar storyline in an earlier Cage movie “Drive Angry.”

Satan dispatches a thoroughly obnoxious hooligan, Ray Carrigan (leering Johnny Whitworth of "Limitless"), to get Nadya and Danny after they escape from the monastery. Meanwhile, Johnny discovers he has a psychic connection with Danny and sets off in hot pursuit. The Ghost Rider uses his deadly Penance Stare on some of Carrigan's men. When he isn’t looking, Carrigan blasts him with enough firepower to land an unconscious Johnny in a hospital. Predictably, not only does Johnny recover, but he also befriends Nadya, and the two elude the authorities. Eventually, Johnny and Nadya free Danny from Carrigan's clutches in a larger-than-life confrontation at a construction site. The Ghost Rider converts a gigantic crane into a blazing juggernaut to combat his enemies. Johnny kills Carrigan, but Satan refuses to let his lieutenant lay down on the job. Instead, Satan revives Carrigan and provides him with the diabolical power to rot anything he touches. The best joke shows Carrigan destroying everything for a snack but a Twinkie! Carrigan emerges with a mop of long white hair that makes him look like bluesman Johnny Winter. Indeed, Satan and Carrigan take Johnny Blaze to the mat before our hero receives help in the last quarter hour from the lad he is supposed to save.

Basically, "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" qualifies as a darker, more sarcastic saga. Unlike the original, the reboot emphasizes Johnny's contagious ability to incinerate everything he handles. At one point, Danny asks Johnny what would occur he had to pee as the Rider, and we are treated to glimpse of the Rider performing figure eights with his urine. As clever as this visual gag is, it doesn’t match the Twinkie joke. Everything about the "Ghost Rider" reboot has fringe written on it rather than mainstream. Unlike the original, every character experiences a radical change. Johnny Blaze suffers like the Hulk. Carrigan changes from an ordinary hood to a supernatural ruffian. Even the Devil admits the pact he struck with Johnny was his worst. Neveldine and Taylor with their penchant for making R-rated movies were probably not the ideal directors for this PG-13 outing. Aside from emphasizing anarchy, Neveldine and Taylor streamline the action, eliminating superfluous love interests and law enforcement intrusions. They ramp up the violence with their guerrilla filmmaking style that makes everything look harrowing. The special effects are staggering. You can feel the heat of the Ghost Rider. Cage gives a better performance with a greater expressive range since his character evolves rather than remains static. Idris Elba is charismatic, while Johnny Whitworth is audaciously villainous. Christopher Lambert makes little impression as a tattooed monk, but it’s great to see him again. The post-production 3-D effect rarely enhances "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" since nothing comes flying out at you during the fracas. Ultimately, this above-average reboot will aggravate anybody who wanted something more conventional along the lines of the original.