FILM REVIEW OF ''ROCK OF AGES'' (2012)

“Hairspray” director Adam Shankman’s cinematic adaptation of the 2006 Broadway juke box musical “Rock of Ages” (*** OUT OF ****) qualifies as a predictable but entertaining tear-jerker enhanced by an oldies soundtrack of Top-40 hits.  Watching this agile musical comedy romance is like attending a concert, except instead of Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister, Steve Perry, Poison and Europe warbling their own songs, we get Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Russell Brand singing them.  Lip-synching or not, the cast performs the lyrics well enough to make you want to tap your toes, clap your hands, and perhaps join in on the vocalizations.  Of course, the old-fashioned, boy-gets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-wins-girl back love story that brings everything together is sheer hokum.

Although Tom Cruise is billed last in the opening credits, the “Mission Impossible” superstar steals “Rock of Ages” from young, star-crossed lovers Diego Boneta and Juliana Hough.  They represent the usual, dewy-eyed hopefuls who pour into Hollywood each day yearning for the success, fame, and immortality.  Unfortunately, despite their sympathetic personalities’, Boneta and Hough emerge as cosmetically captivating cookie-cutter hero and heroine.  You know from the get-go they will survive the trials and tribulations that they encounter and come up none the worse for all the wear. 

Meantime, Cruise is the only character with shades of depth, and he isn’t afraid to ridicule the larger-than-life character of veteran rocker Stacee Jaxx.  Oddly enough, when he stars in his own movies, Cruise is serious, straightforward, and as shallow as the “Rock of Ages” leads. Here, Cruise delivers a performance brimming both with bravado and abasement.  In the movies he doesn’t produce, Cruise has fun skewering his image as well as playing outlandish characters.  Remember that obnoxious Hollywood producer that he played in the war epic parody “Tropic Thunder?”  Cruise is every bit as hilarious there as he was here.  Even if you hate him, you’ll enjoy the way that he skewers himself without mercy, while looking cool in a cretinous sort of way.

“Rock of Ages” opens in 1987.  Tulsa, Oklahoma, native Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough of “Footloose”) has packed all her autographed classic rock albums—we’re talking vinyl—and has boarded a Greyhound for Hollywood with the dream of becoming a rock and roll starlet.  No sooner does our cute heroine hit Hollywood than a low-life hits her.  He steals all her albums.  A bartender’s assistant, Drew Boley (Diego Boneta of “Mean Girls 2”), consoles her about the loss of her valuables.  Later, Diego manages to land her a job at the popular Sunset Strip nightclub called ‘The Bourbon Room.”  The owner, Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin of “The Departed”), hires Sherrie against his better judgment.  Dennis detests young girls yearning to yowl their way to stardom.  Something that he sees in Sherrie prompts him to make an exception.  Sherrie assures Dennis that she can waitress with the best. 

Meantime, Dennis is struggling to keep the doors of The Bourbon Room open.  He owes a mountain of unpaid taxes.  Dennis’ right hand man, Lonny (Russell Brand of “Get Him to the Greek”), believes rock and roll will save them.  Dennis doesn’t share Lonny’s optimism.  Ultimately, Dennis books rock star sensation Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise of “Risky Business”) because the veteran rocker plans to go solo.  This engagement will mark Stacee’s last show with his band Arsenal.  Dennis and Stacee have known each other from the get-go.  Stacee got his start at The Bourbon Club.  The news that Stacee Jaxx will appear at The Bourbon Room comes at the same time Los Angeles conservatives are poised to launch a campaign against Dennis' notorious night club.  L.A. Mayor Mike Whitmore (Bryan Cranston of TV’s “Breaking Bad”) responds to pressure to sanitize the Sunset Strip.  As it turns out, the mayor’s secret weapon is none other than his trophy wife Patricia. Mrs. Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones of “No Reservations”) rallies the churches together to protest against “sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll." Patricia and her fervent supporters turn out in droves to condemn not only The Bourbon Room but also Stacee Jaxx.  According to Patricia, Stacee Jaxx spews “sex, hateful music, and sex.” Ostensibly, Patricia abhors the rocker because he seduced her vulnerable roommate at UCLA and took advantage of her.

As the crowds assemble outside, chants and protests mingle in the evening air.  Dennis dreams about the mint that he will make until he learns that the act scheduled to open for Stacee Jaxx has bowed out.  At the last minute, Dennis agrees to let Drew and his band warm up the house for three songs only.  Earlier, Drew had lamented to Sherrie during a romantic encounter at the famous Hollywood sign that he suffered from stage. Fright.  Now, he fears the paralysis will strike the next time he climbs on stage.  Miraculously, Drew sheds his fears and lights up the crowd, so much so that the man who promotes Stacee Jaxx, Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti of “Shoot’em Up”), wants to immortalize him.   At this moment, Drew catches a glimpse of Stacee Jaxx adjusting his jeans as Sherrie turns away from him.

Director Adam Shankman and “Tropic Thunder” scenarist Justin Theroux, original Broadway musical writer Chris D'Arienzo, and “Just Go With It” scribe Allen Loeb never let things slow down during this two-hour plus musical.  Indeed, they have made changes.  First, Patricia Whitmore replaces the characters of German developers, Hertz Klinemann and son Franz, who wanted to demolish The Bourbon Room.  Second, Stacee and Sherrie never have sex.  The problem is that "Rock" lacks a genuinely treacherous villain.  Meantime, each song punctuates the plot and serves as commentary.  The assortment of songs captures the cacophonous 1980s when flamboyant, long-haired rockers ruled.  Everything about “Rock of Ages” reeks of nostalgia, especially the way it makes fun of the boy bands.  Occasionally, the filmmakers allow a glint of reality, such as when our heroine winds up pole-dancing.  The choreography is nimble as well as interpretative.  Aside from the rather obvious love story, “Rock of Ages” contains two other romances.  Stacee Jaxx plunges for a “Rolling Stone” reporter, and Lonny and Dennis discover why they love to sing duets.  “Rock of Ages” celebrates the spirit of rock and roll without wallowing in its decadence.

FILM REVIEW OF ''DAWN RIDER" (2012)

Hollywood has all but forsaken westerns. Typically, the sagebrushers that are produced turn out lame. "Recoil" director Terry Miles and "Knockout" scenarists Eric Jacobs and Joseph Nasser prove the exception to the rule with their above-average remake of the vintage John Wayne B-movie western "The Dawn Rider.” The Wayne oater was a remake of director Lloyd Nosler's oater "Galloping Thru" (1931) with Tom Tyler.  As it turns out, "Dawn Rider" (*** out of ****) is the second time that "The Dawn Rider" has been remade; director George Waggner's "Western Trails" (1938) preceded it as the first remake of "The Dawn Rider." In their remake, Miles and his scribes have opened up the action considerably and supplemented the narrative with greater depth as well as length.  The original ran a scant 53 minutes compared with the second remake at 94 minutes. Mind you, Christian Slater couldn't fill John Wayne's boots, but he makes a credible western hero in his own right. Donald Sutherland co-stars as a heavily-bearded, bulletproof lawman on our protagonist's trail.  No lawman pursued Wayne in director Ray N. Bradbury's 1935 original. Indeed, the Sutherland character recalls the sheriff that Harry Carey, Sr., portrayed in a later Wayne horse opera "Angel and the Badman." According to Miles, he appropriated the indefatigable lawman figure from another of his own screenplays. Lochlyn Munro makes a good villain, while Jill Hennessy emerges as our hero's romantic partner. She isn't relegated to the periphery.  She brandishes a revolver and holds her own against the guys. The production values are sturdy, and the cast looks seasoned as well as believable. Miles stages the shoot-outs with reasonable flair, but this oater doesn't break any ground, except casting Slater as a western hero. The villain resorts to a life of crime to pay off a bill involving ownership of a ranch. The hardware appears authentic enough, with cap and ball pistols sometimes substituting for cartridge carrying sidearms.  Although it won't win any Oscars, "Dawn Rider" ranks as one of the better westerns to trot across the screen.

"Dawn Rider" opens as John Mason (Christian Slater of "True Romance") urinates in the woods and then checks the cherry tomatoes in his garden.  Mason marks an X through October 13 on a calendar.  He has been holed up in the cabin for over three months. Later, U.S. Marshal Cochrane (Donald Sutherland of "M.A.S.H.") and two trigger-happy gunmen ride up and cut loose with a barrage of rifle-fire.  Cochrane reprimands them for shooting indiscriminately into the cabin.  He stands to lose a $500 bonus if he doesn't bring Mason in alive.  When they storm the cabin, these fellows hear an explosion, and trapdoor in the floor shudders as Mason makes his escape through a tunnel without injury.  Meantime, in Sarsaparilla, Wyoming, a gang of outlaws wearing flour sacks as masks shoot it out in broad daylight, kill a marshal, and steal a bag that contains only mail but no money.  Rudd Gordon (Lochlyn Munro of "Recoil") is desperate to round up $5000 to pay the debt on the ranch he owes to the Standard Rail Company.  Rudd's sister Alice (Jill Hennessy of "Wild Hogs") lives with him.  Mind you, Alice has no idea that her brother is a desperado. 

In Grey Falls, Montana, Mason is drinking in a saloon when he intervenes on behalf of Ben McClure (Ben Cotton of "Brothers and Sisters") who is being cheated in poker game. The locals recognize Mason from the reputation that he acquired in Cincinnati in a gunfight. Mason denies ever having been in the Ohio town. Miles turns this into a running gag. This is similar to a line in the John Wayne movie "Big Jake" where Wayne contradicts everybody that he comes into contact with about being dead.  Later, McClure and he share the same campfire. Ben shows Mason a ring that he plans to give to his beloved.  As it turns out, Ben works alongside Mason's father in the freight office in Promise, Wyoming. Dad Mason (Kenneth W. Yanko of "Ignition") greets his son with a rifle in the face. Dad likes to speak Spanish as a second language. Mason objects to Dad's Spanish. He abhors Dad's use of Spanish because his father married a Mexican woman after his mother died.  Mason has never forgiven his father. The use of Spanish is another running gag that pays off later because Dad recognizes the killers that rob him from double X-brand on them.  These owlhoots literally have the ranch brand in their skill. Afterward, Mason collides with Alice on main street, and they flash their revolvers at each other. She offers to let him stay with them. When Mason rides into town another day, the flour sack gang robs the freight office and Dad dies during the robbery. During the fracas, Mason swaps shots with the outlaws and catches a bullet. Alice doctors him back to health. Each time that Mason gets close to figuring out who the outlaws are, Rudd intervenes and kills them. During one robbery, an outlaw steals Ben's ring and Rudd confiscates the ring from him. Rudd gives the ring to his sister. Ben is sweet on Alice, and he gets jealous when he learns from Rudd that Alice and Mason are lovers.  Mason suspects something when he spots the ring on Alice's finger.  Later, to throw the scent off their trail, Rudd and his gunmen massacre Cochrane and his deputies in a meadow.

Miles and his scenarists have changed quite a bit from the John Wayne version of "Dawn Rider."  Not only does Mason have a reputation as a gunslinger from Cincinnati, but he has also spent time in a Mexican prison.  The John Wayne protagonist in the 1935 version was lily-white pure.  Miles' remake preserves the plot device involving McClure's ring, but adds the complication that drives Rudd to crime to pay off his debt.  Alice and Mason are old friends, too, unlike the couple in the Wayne original.  She sleeps with a revolver stashed under her pillow.  This plot device is introduced right after she nurses Mason and paid off later when one of Rudd's gunman tries to rape her. "Dawn Rider" benefits from fresh scenery, enough shoot-outs, and a twist at the end involving the shooting of Cochrane. 

FILM REVIEW ON ''VENGEANCE VALLEY'' (1951)

"Desperate Courage" director Richard Thorpe’s adult-themed western “Vengeance Valley” (*** out ****) concerns life on a cattle ranch and the conflict between two men.  This isn’t a trigger-happy gunslinger shoot’em up.  Virtually every character in this tautly-made 83-minute melodrama is involved in either the cattle business or clashes with the cowboys themselves. The characters in Irving Ravetch’s screenplay, based on Luke Short’s novel, emerge as either completely good or really evil. Meanwhile, Thorpe stages this steer opera against striking, snow-swept scenery, and Robert Walker’s villain is a truly treacherous dastard.  He is prepared to swindle his father out of money and land and kill the man who has shown him everything that he knows about ranching.  Furthermore, he has no qualms about having unshielded sex with single women.  In his first and only MGM production, Burt Lancaster delivers a strong performance as the stalwart hero.  "Vengeance Valley" was Lancaster's first time in the saddle, and he looks comfortable astride a horse. Tough-guy John Ireland is a gunman searching for trouble.  Interestingly, co-stars John Ireland and Joanne Dru were reunited on this trail herd western after starring in director Howard Hawks’ seminal cattle drive western. 

This 'Cain versus Abel' film unfolds with the following narration from the perspective of Hewie, one of the cowhands: “I got a story to tell - a yarn about cow country, cow punchers and men. I was workin' for the Strobie Ranch, a trade of worn leather and saddle blisters and brandin' irons. A trade with some song, some fun and some luck. It was as good a job as a man could ask for. Lonely sometimes and cold - so much distance you'd have thought you'd never get back - but for me, a young kid, it was a fine time. Memories are mostly good. You're up on top of the world where the air is clean and thin - the only sound is the wind in the pines. When Colorado ranch foreman Owen Daybright (Burt Lancaster of “Brute Force”) and foster brother Lee Strobie (Robert Walker of “Strangers on a Train”) ride back into town from watching over Arch Strobie’s cattle in the winter, they run into the local doctor at the saloon.  The doctor tells them that an unmarried woman Lily Fasken (Sally Forrest of “Mystery Street”) has had a baby boy. Actually, Lee had an affair with Lily, a former restaurant waitress, but he wants nobody to know about it, particularly his new wife. Owen visits Lily's house on behalf of Lee and brings $500 as well as a bag of provisions.  Later, Lee tells his father he lost the money playing poker.  Not only does Owen find Lee's wife Jen (Joanne Dru of “Red River”) at Lily’s place but also Lily’s pugnacious rifle-toting brother Dick (Hugh O’Brien of “The Shootist”) who is itching to plug the gent who got Lily pregnant.  Dick wants to know the identity of the father, but Owen refers him to Lily.  Dick believes Owen is the dad, but Jen tells him to leave Own alone.   

Later, Dick confronts Owen at the saloon.  Sheriff Con Alvis (Jim Hayward of “Bitter Creek”) gets the drop on Dick.  Owen warns Dick, “You scared me twice tonight. Next time you point a gun at me, shoot it.”   Owen and Lee ride back to the Strobie ranch and confer with Lee’s invalid father, Arch (Ray Collins of “Citizen Kane”), who is elated to see the two men.  Lee leaves them alone to see his wife Jen.  After Lee’s departure, Owen threatens to leave and start out on his own. Arch persuades Owen to stay. During their conversation, we learn that Arch befriended Owen about 15 years ago. Arch has relied on Owen to train Lee to take over operation of the ranch.  Moreover, Arch has relied on Owen to help him.

About a week later, Sheriff Alvis watches as Dick’s brother Hub Fasken (John Ireland of “River River”) gets off the train at the depot.  Hub informs Alvis he has come to kill a man.  A widow woman, Mrs. Burke (Grayce Mills of “Harvey”), takes Lily in to work at her small ranch.  Hub checks in with his younger sister, but she tells him that she doesn't need him. "We're this kind of family," Hub reminds her. "We don't waste any love on each other. We've fought amongst ourselves.  We've even shot at each other.  We got one tie.  You're blood relations."  Not long afterward, Owen and Hewie (Carleton Carpenter of “Summer Stock”) show up at Mrs. Burke's place to round up her cattle for the big drive. Meantime, Dick and Hub get the drop on Hewie, and catch Owen when he leaves the house. Hub and Owen swap blows, but Mrs. Burke intervenes with her shotgun.  The next time Owen sees Dick and Hub, the two are sweating it out in the hoosegow.  Eventually, Jen discovers in a round-about way that Lee is the father of Lily’s baby boy.  This kind of infidelity had to be treated with caution in the 1950s because it was still consider unsavory subject matter by the Production Code Administration.  Indeed, the doctor in the saloon refused to deliver the baby because the father wasn’t present. When Lee confronts Jen about the affair, he finds her nursing a battered Owen who has just slugged it out with Hub. Like Owen, Jen is prepared to leave the Strobie ranch, but Owen dissuades her. 

Owen warns Lee about Dick and Hub. He suggests Lee vamoose with Jen, but Lee insists Owen simply wants the entire ranch for himself.  The bad blood between the two men only worsens.  Lee persuades his father he can handle the ranch and asks to be half-owner.  An overjoyed Arch agrees.  Nevertheless, he mentions that he plans to let Owen have the other half after his death. Hewie informs Owen and Lee that somebody has stolen some of their cattle and horses.  The trail leads them to Herb Backett's place.  Naturally, Backett (Ted de Corsia of “The Killing”) lies that he knows nothing about rustled cattle. Owen beats the truth out of him, during a brief but bloody fight.  Lee tries to smooth over the fracas with Backett.  He agrees to buy back the cattle. Secretly, Lee is concocting a plan to kill Owen and he uses Backett.  Once again Lee accuses Owen of cheating on him with Jen, but he recants those words before the big cattle drive.  Lee makes friends with Backett because he needs him to help him.  He wants Backett to provide Dick and Hub with the necessary authorization to join the big drive without Owen finding out anything. 

Later, Lee sells his father’s herd of 3000 head to a Texas cattleman, Dave Allard (Glen Strange of “House of Dracula”), and this move surprises Owen. As it turns out, Owen suspects that Lee is determined to cheat his father out of money.  After the two herds are merged, Hewie warns Owen that the Fashen brothers are among Lee's crew.  Lee changes his mind about the sale to Allard and requests that Owen accompany him so he can inform Allard that the deal is off.  What Lee plans to do is set up Owen so the Fashen can ambush Owen.  They bushwack Oren, but help arrives not long after the villains Owen pinned down with rifle fire. Hewie forms a posse after they hear rifle fire.  Owen suffer from a nick on the sleeve.  Hewie and the others thunder onto the scene and blast the two brothers. Owen pursues Lee on horseback. Lee’s horse caves in under him and he tumbles into the river.  Owen challenges Lee to draw.  Owen is faster and kills Lee. When he returns to the ranch, Owen explains to Arch what happened, but Arch already knew what Lee was worthless. When Arch wants to tell Jen, Owen intervenes and says he wants will break the news to Jen himself.

“Vengeance Valley” is a sturdy, atmospheric western with Lancaster as the hero and Walker as a slimy villain.

FILM REVIEW OF ''SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN" (2012)

Hollywood has been cranking out cinematic adaptations of Snow White since the silent 1916 version.  In 1933, vampy cartoon heroine Betty Boop played the raven-haired princess in a 7-minute, surrealistic, black & white cartoon from Max Fleischer's Studios before Disney immortalized our fair maiden.  Recently, “Immortals” director Tarsem Singh helmed an adaptation of the Snow White fairy tale called “Mirror, Mirror” with Julia Roberts as the sinful stepmom.  Now, rookie British director Rupert Sanders and freshman scenarist Evan Daugherty, along with “The Blind Side” scribe John Lee Hancock and “Drive’s” Hossein Amini, have reimagined this melodrama as a much darker chick flick.  They’ve made it palatable not only for girls but also guys.  Imagine “Joan of Arc” crossed with “The Lord of the Rings,” and you’ve got a good idea about what to expect.  As the second take on the venerable Brothers Grimm fairy tale this year, “Snow White and the Huntsman” (*** out of ****) departs considerably the 1937 Walt Disney classic.  The protagonist here isn’t the clueless maiden who cooks and cleans for a clan of cuddly dwarves.  After escaping from her depraved stepmom and stumbling through a supernatural forest with all kinds of creepy critters, “Twilight’s” Kristen Stewart makes herself over into an armor-clad, sword-wielding Amazon who saddles up with an army of troops to ride back to her father’s castle and reclaim the kingdom.  Good adventure movies require stalwart heroines who don’t necessarily play second fiddle to the heroes.  A bearded Chris Hemsworth, whose character shares little in common with his Marvel Comics alter-ego “Thor,” brandishes both a hatchet as the eponymous “Huntsman,” but he doesn’t push our heroine around for long before she whistles a different tune.  Mind you, good adventures must also boast diabolical villains.  Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron steals the show as the malicious stepmother and qualifies as the most fascist femme that you’ll ever see.  She is a succubus rolled up into a sorceress.  Aside from her brother, this despicable villainess abhors men with a passion and loves literally to stick it to them—right in the gizzard with a sharp blade.

“Snow White and the Huntsman” follows the Brothers Grimm story when Queen Eleanor (newcomer Liberty Ross) pricks her finger on a blooming rose in the dead of winter and watches three drops of blood splatter in the snow.  Eleanor bears a child but then not long afterward dies.  Snow White’s grieving father King Magnus (Noah Huntley of “Your Highness”) rides into battle against a mysterious enemy that his army hacks into heaps of obsidian shards. Afterward, they discover a poor damsel-in-distress chained up like a slave in a wagon on the battlefield.  This unfortunate woman, Ravenna (Charlize Theron of “Monster”), seduces the monarch and later they marry.  During their wedding night, Ravenna stabs the unsuspecting king to death with a large knife thrust into his chest.  “Snow White and the Huntsman” skirts blood and gore as much as possible.  Nevertheless, the inventive Sanders shows some flair by having a pitcher of wine spill at least a quart of its dark red contents on the floor as a metaphor for the king’s loss of blood.  Ravenna wastes no time with the king’s daughter and locks young Snow White up in a tower.  No sooner has this incident transpired than Ravenna has her servants hang a mirror so she can admire her beauty.  Of course, this mirror is no ordinary mirror.  Everybody knows that the wicked stepmother-turned-queen has conversations with it.  The difference is that before the mirror replies to her, it behaves like the Robert Patrick terminator in “Terminator 2.”  The mirror oozes out onto the floor into a pool and then assumes the shape of a figure in a cloak.  This ingenious touch and the many others that ensue make “Snow White and the Huntsman” into an imaginative, above-average yarn with surprises galore.

After Snow White has grown up, Ravenna realizes that she has a problem.  She is beginning to age.  She sends her equally wicked brother her Finn (Sam Spruell of “Defiance”) off to fetch fresh flesh.  Finn brings her a young maiden, and Ravenna literally sucks the beauty of her mouth without touching her lips.  Indeed, Ravenna imitates the infamous Countess Báthory who slashed up young women and bathed in their blood.  Eventually, Ravenna learns that she must dine on Snow White’s heart and sends Finn off to get her.  A couple of birds fly up to Snow White’s window in the tower and she finds a loose nail.  Later, when Finn tries to dally with our heroine, she cuts him up and escapes from the castle.  The furious Ravenna enlists the aid of a drunken lout, the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth of “The Cabin in the Woods”) and he sets out to find Snow White.  Sensing something amiss, the Huntsman alters his allegiance and helps Snow White elude Finn and his henchmen.  About an hour into the action, our hero and heroine encounter eight dwarves who are thieves.

Future filmmakers will have to struggle to surpass what Sanders and his scribes have done both with the nefarious stepmother and the other elements.  If some of those dwarves that associate with Snow White look familiar, they are.  Sanders and company haven’t cast genuine dwarves.  Instead, they have pasted the heads of notable real-life actors, including Nick Frost of “Shaun of the Dead,” Ian McShane of HBO’s “Deadwood,” and Ray Winstone of “The Departed,” onto the bodies of these little people.  You’ve got to see these gritty little guys to believe them.  The scenery, the sets, the wardrobe, and the computer-generated-special effects are all fantastic.  Unfortunately, the chemistry between Kristen Stewart and her two suitors, Chris Hemsworth as the eponymous Huntsman and her childhood friend Sam Claflin, frizzle rather than sizzle.  Meanwhile, “Snow White and the Huntsman” has coined almost $100-million domestically and another $83-million overseas so Universal Studios is talking about a sequel.  Ironically, the studio was counting on “Battleship” to deliver, but it sank and “Snow White” has replaced it.  “Snow White and the Huntsman” qualifies as an unforgettable fairy tale with an edge. 

FILM REVIEW OF "MEN IN BLACK 3" (2012)

“Men in Black 3” (**1/2 OUT OF ****) may be Tommy Lee Jones’ last “Men in Black” movie.  The Oscar winning “Fugitive” actor makes what amounts to a glorified cameo in the second sequel.  He shows up for about a quarter of an hour during the first act of this amusing, but tonally uneven farce and then disappears until about the last ten minutes of act three. Presumably, Jones wasn’t agile enough to impersonate himself as a younger man in act two of this lively sequel. Consequently, “Men in Black” director Barry Sonnenfeld cast Josh Brolin as a younger Agent K for the contrived time travel plot in “Tropic Thunder” scenarist Etan Cohen’s inventive but convoluted screenplay.  Things seem considerably more realistic in “Men in Black 3” as a vindicative villain takes advantage of time travel to trip back to July 1969 and knock off Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) mere moments before the historic Apollo Moon launch.  Meaning, since Agent K would no longer exist, Agent K couldn’t have recruited Agent J.  Remember, in “Men in Black” (1997), Agent K recruited NYPD detective James Darrell Edwards III (Will Smith of “Independence Day”) for his fleet-footed pursuit of an alien. “Men in Black 3” takes some outrageous liberties with time travel that haven’t been handled in such a zany fashion.

Basically, “Men in Black 3” resembles the classic fantasy film “It’s A Wonderful Life” (1946) where James Stewart learns about the chaos that will ensue if he commits suicide. Unlike the James Stewart hero, Agent K either must survive a murder attempt on his life or chaos will engulf the Earth.  A buffed-up Mick Jigger look-alike bad man named Boris the Animal has dreamed about killing Agent K.  Bad-tempered Boris is an alien who has goggles instead of eyeballs, gnarly-looking teeth, a Darth Vader baritone voice, and multi-toed feet, and harbors a deadly crab-like critter in the palm of his hand.  Boris likes to discharge deadly thorns from his hand, and his trademark line of dialogue is "Let's agree to disagree." Unless Agent J can run interference for Agent K, the world as we know it is doomed.  It seems that Agent K was instrumental in averting an alien invasion of Earth with a small gizmo that gives off an emerald glow back in 1969.  He had to plant the device atop the Apollo Moon rocket so it could be boosted into space.  Of course, Boris both before and after the Lunar Max escape turns up to complicate Agent K’s renewed efforts to save the planet.  They battle like titans atop the gantry.

 “Men in Black” opens in Lunar Max, a maximum security prison on the Moon, built to confine the worst scum in the galaxy. Beastly Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement of “Dinner for Schmucks”) thwarts an army of heavily armed guards with the help of a woman carrying a pink cake, and breaks out of the slammer.  Just when the guards think they have Boris cornered, this larger-than-life villain surprises them with a stunt that disperses the guards and staggers the imagination.  Now, freed after 40 years of captivity, Boris decides to pay back the man who not only put him behind bars but also blew off part of his left arm.  Of course, Boris’ quarry is none other than resourceful Agent K.  Agent K's only regret is that he didn't ice Boris when he had the opportunity.  Mysteriously, Agent K has vanished without a trace, and Agent J gets the shock of his life at MIB Headquarters when he learns that Agent K has been dead for 40 years.

 The original “Men in Black” offered a pleasant change-of-pace for science fiction film fans.  Essentially, this silly, “Far Side” type satire cleverly combined the police procedural TV show “Dragnet” with the “Star Wars” cantina scene.  Sonnenfeld has helmed all three “Men in Black” movies.  Along the way, he has made some changes.  Not only does Sonnenfeld eliminate Zed, but he also has replaced Zed with a younger woman.  Essentially, Zed (Rip Torn) has died, and Agent K delivers a cryptic but dispassionate eulogy.  Agent O (Emma Thompson) replaces Zed. Later, we learn that Agent K and Agent O were romantically involved. Unfortunately, the filmmakers fail to make the threat of a standard-issue, alien invasion of Earth plot seem exciting.  Sonnenfeld and Cohen do everything to raise the stakes in this outlandish sequel.  Although some changes are obvious and accounted for, others are not so clear-cut, especially the liberties that they take with time travel.

 The biggest change involves the scope of “MIB 3.”  Although the adversary is an alien, little about him prompts laughs.  The decision to go into the past makes "Men in Black 3" different from the previous two films.  Sonnenfeld and Cohen allow Boris to take things right down to the wire.  “Men in Black 3” is the tail chasing the dog, but it is so energetic that you can ignore its lapses in logic.  Brolin and Smith are charismatic enough even when the plot stumbles from one big set-piece to another.  Some critics have skewered the logic of the time travel plot.  How can two characters and their counterparts inhabit the same time and setting without negating their alter-egos?  For that matter, how is it that Agent J can remain a member of the Men in Black if Agent K weren’t around to recruit him?  After Sonnenfeld and Cohen resolve the end-of-the-world plot, they cap off “Men in Black 3” with a hopelessly contrived ending that brings the franchise full circle.  The closure that comes with the return of Tommy Lee Jones as Agent K has an eerie sense of finality. Josh Brolin delivers a brilliant performance as Agent K, and the ambitious plot resembles a sci-fi, James Bond escapade rather than a goofy actioneer.  Happily, “Men in Black 3” boasts some ingenious gadgets, like a motorcycle that consists of one giant wheel that the rider sits inside while driving and jet-packs that resemble chrome-plated Gemini capsules.  Comparatively, “Men in Black 3” surpasses “Men in Black 2,” but lacks the spontaneity of “Men in Black.” 

FILM REVIEW OF "LADY GANGSTER" (1942)

"Lady Gangster" qualifies as a lively little World War II era B-picture about crime and punishment in America. The prevalent themes in "Lady Gangster" are women versus society, women versus men, and women versus other women. "Danger Signal" director Robert Florey and "Busses Roar" scenarist Anthony Coldeway have contrived a serviceable thriller based on the Dorothy Mackaye and Carlton Miles play "Gangstress, or Women In Prison." The attention to detail is above average. Florey stages a dandy little fistfight between the good guy and the criminals near the climax. Florey and Coldeway had to toe the line with the Production Code Administration in regard to their depiction of the heroine as an accomplice to bank robbers. Consequently, they make her somebody with whom we can sympathize. They provide her with a back story as a failed actress who turned to crime only as a last resort to survive. Moreover, they establish that she is not a career criminal.

"Lady Gangster" opens with Dorothy Burton (Faye Emerson of "Hotel Berlin") calling the cops and making a bogus complaint about a man with a knife. While the cops are responding to this call, Dot and three mobsters pull up to the Central Trust and Savings Bank before opening time at 10 AM. Dot emerges from the car with a small pet dog in her arms and convinces reluctant bank guard Jordan (Ken Christy of "Burma Convoy") to let her inside before regular hours. Dot lies to him that she has to make a deposit before her train leaves. While Dot sidetracks gullible Jordan, Carey (Roland Drew of "Manpower") and Stew (William Phillips of "Fort Yuma") slip inside with guns drawn and hold up the bank. Dot spots a cop outside hassling getaway car driver Wilson (Jackie C. Gleason of "Skidoo"), and she faints in Jordan's arms. Carey and Stew scramble for the getaway car and Wilson careens away. Initially, the police detain Dot as a witness. Later, Dot arouses the suspicions of a detective when she calls her dog by a name entirely different from the one on her pet's collar. She winds up in custody.

Dot's arrest incites the wrath of the Commodore Broadcasting Company. CBC radio commentator Kenneth Phillips (Fred Wilcox of "Notorious") takes the advice of his second-in-command (William Hopper of TV's "Perry Mason") to editorialize against District Attorney Lewis Sinton (Herbert Rawlinson of "Framed") because he arrested Dot since she could not accurately identify her dog. Meanwhile, on the advice of his second-in-command, Sinton phones Phillips and assures him that he is "willing and anxious to cooperate in every way" with him as well as let him question the Burton girl, all this despite the unflattering portrait that Phillips painted of him on the air as a crafty politician. Phillips persuades Sinton to release Dot into his custody.

On the pretext of getting her belongings, Dot visits Ma Silsby (Vera Lewis of "The Suspect") and learns that Carey refuses to give her a dime of her cut in the hold-up. Wilson doesn't think that Carey is treating Dot fairly. Ma alerts the gang that the authorities are nosing around outside. The guys stash the briefcase of dough under the front of a fireplace and lam out. Dot removes it and has Ma hide it in a safe place. She tears a dollar bill in two and tells Ma to trust only somebody with the other half of the dollar. Later, she informs Kenneth that she took advantage of his influence and she admits her part in the crime to Sinton. However, she refuses to identify her accomplices and disclose the whereabouts of the loot.

Twenty-one minutes into "Lady Gangster" our heroine enters prison. The warden, Mrs. Stoner (Virginia Brissac of "Jesse James"), explains the difference between an American prison and the Nazi variety. Says Stoner, "So the quicker you realize that this neither a country club nor a concentration camp, the better. It's up to the women themselves how they're treated. If you behave yourself, we'll meet you more than halfway, but if you want to be tough, we can be tough with you. Now, is that clear?" Dot meets Myrtle (Julie Bishop of "Northern Pursuit") and they become pals. Carey dresses up in drag and poses as Dot's sister to visit her. Dot refuses unequivocally to divulge the whereabouts of the forty grand.

Commenting about the luxurious prison facilities, Myrtle observes patriotically, "I'd play ball with anybody but Hitler to get out of this hole." Meanwhile, Dot runs afoul of inmates Lucy Fenton (Ruth Ford of "Wilson") and Deaf Annie (Dorothy Adams of "Ninotchka"). Deaf Annie reads lips. Dot confides in Myrtle that she has hidden the forty grand safely. Deaf Annie relays this news to Lucy. Before Phillips visits Mrs. Stoner to get her approval for Dot's parole, evil Lucy reveals to Stoner that Dot has the money stashed away. Stoner squashes the parole hearing after Lucy's revelation. Lucy turns around and lies to Dot that Ken wanted to trick her into revealing the location of the money in exchange for parole. Lucy completely fools Dot who gets a letter to Wilson about Ken and the money. Dot learns the truth from Mrs. Stoner who thanks her for giving her the reward money for the forty grand. Dot slugs Stoner, dons her apparel, and escapes from prison to save Phillips.

Clocking in at 62 concise minutes, "Lady Gangster" is a neat little item that shows how democracy worked during World War II on the home front.  Incidentally, “Lady Gangster” is remake of the 1933 Barbara Stanwyck flick “Ladies They Talk About.”