FILM REVIEW OF ''JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE" (2017)

Dwayne Johnson won’t win an Oscar for Jake Kasdan’s “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle,” (*** OUT OF ****), but he portrays a riotous character far from anything he has done before this body switch saga.  Basically, the Rock ridicules himself with a straight-face throughout this PG-13, 119-minute, action-adventure escapade that rarely takes itself seriously.  As captivating as the Rock is as a khaki-clad Indiana Jones fortune hunter, co-star Jack Black overshadows him with his own bizarre character.  Just as “Orange County” director Jake Kasdan lets Johnson poke fun at himself as a nerd cringing inside the physique of a bodybuilder, he has taken it a step farther with Jack Black who ends up in the body of female character.  Scratching your head yet?  These are examples of the sidesplitting shenanigans that underline this frivolous film.  Abetting Jack Black and the Rock in this superficial slapstick are comedian Kevin Hart and actress Karen Gillian.  They inhabit characters with whom they share zip.  These likable characters make the preposterous premise entertaining.  A mysterious videogame console uploads four high school teens and turns them into their gaming avatars.  Each comes equipped with skills designed to aid them in an epic scavenger hunt. The time frame of the hunt depends on the participants’ luck.  Not only do a quartet of writers--Chris McKenna, Jeff Pinker, Scott Rosenberg, and Erik Sommers--segue this sequel to director Joe Johnston's earlier “Jumanji” (1995), but they also have reimagined it for contemporary audiences with no patience for board games.  “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” amounts to sheer, harebrained hokum from fade-in to fadeout.  Everything about this farce is far-fetched. Nothing slows down the headlong momentum, however, during these madcap melodramatics.  Like the original Robin Williams movie, this “Jumanji” contains a similar frame story, but the writers spend more time on the subsequent story about the four high school kids. Superior computer-generated imagery in some truly outlandish scenes surpasses the primitive CGI in the 1995 film.  You’ll never forget the crocodile scene!  Moreover, a clever premise allows our heroes and heroines to cheat death like immortals! 

“Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” starts on the beach where the 1995 movie heroes buried the board game.  In the prologue, a teen digs it up and takes it home.  While he is asleep, the durable board game repurposes itself into a video game console.  When he plays it, the game hijacks him from his cozy bedroom to an alternate dimension.  Twenty years elapse, and the main characters are introduced.  Principal Bentley (Marc Evan Jackson of “Kong: Skull Island”) busts beanpole gamer and germaphobe Spencer Gilpin (Alex Wolff of “My Friend Dahmer”) for plagiarism.  Spencer wrote an academic paper for his friend, star football player Anthony 'Fridge' Johnson (Ser'Darius Blain of “Camp X-Ray”), that Spencer had earlier submitted as his own to his gimlet-eyed History teacher.  Meanwhile, an annoyed teacher catches self-absorbed, social media-addicted Bethany Walker (Madison Iseman of “Laid in America”) on her smart phone during an exam.  Finally, an introverted nobody, Martha Kaply (Morgan Turner of “Remember Me”), refuses to exercise during P.E., and she winds up in Bentley’s office.  Bentley lets them off the hook with detention.  Sounds like “The Breakfast Club?”  Not for long! They must clean up a room littered with trash.  Fridge stumbles onto that mysterious console.  The four students decide to play this mysterious “Mortal Combat” game.  Instead, they are morphed into it and emerge on the far side as their avatars.  Pusillanimous Spencer is now expedition leader Smolder Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson) with massive muscles.  Towering football champion Fridge finds himself shrunk drastically into pint-sized zoologist Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart of “Central Intelligence”) who dreads everything.  Much to her horror, sexy Bethany takes the form of obese, balding, middle-aged Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black of “King Kong”) whose expertise is maps.  Shy Martha becomes butt-kicking martial arts sensation Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan of “Guardians of the Galaxy”) with a flair for ‘dance fighting.’

“Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” doesn’t stray far from the vintage Robin Williams “Jumanji.”  In the original, the son of a shoe manufacturer played the haunted board game, and he vanished into it like so much paranormal dust into a board.  Unfortunately, he didn’t escape from the magic board game universe as easily as he wanted.  After he returned to reality, he contends with a big-game hunter from the past stalking him in his hometown.  The hunter traded in his antique rifle for a fully automatic assault rifle and lays waste to modern society as he searches for the hero.  Later, a stampede of enormous zoo animals trashed the town.  Nevertheless, the son triumphs over adversity.  The “Jumanji” sequel differs in some respects from its predecessor.  More characters play the game, and teamwork pays off as their best strategy.  They are dropped from the sky into the jungle “Predator” style and ponder the three hashtag tattoos on their wrists that indicate their number of lives. Indeed, our heroes and heroines can die a couple of times, heightening the suspense, when their heroics aren’t amusing us.  The best thing about the new “Jumanji” is its gallery of sympathetic heroes and heroines. Smolder Bravestone, Moose Finbar, Professor Shelly Oberon, and Ruby Roundhouse are as charismatic as the actors and actresses.  They are riddled from within by the guilt of their real-life counterparts.  For example, you’ll laugh at the Rock when he cowers before Kevin Hart. Remember, the man inside Smolder is Spencer, and Spencer is a medicating nerd. The scene where Bethany coaches Ruby about the rudiments of flirting is hysterical.  Happily, Kasdan and his writers have given everybody a scene or more to shine. Ultimately, the success of “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” is such that Jake Kasdan’s comic cliffhanger may constitute more than a sequel but also a reboot!  “Jumanji” has coined $883 million plus worldwide from a $90 million budget.  No studio would dare produce such a blockbuster and sit on a franchise. 

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI" (1957)

"Great Expectations" director David Lean made what qualifies as the greatest World War II movie of all-time. I saw this fantastic film when Columbia Pictures released it in 1957, and the spectacle of an actual bridge being blown to smithereens with a real locomotive and freight cars trundling along the railway tracks on it captivated me at the tender age of four, and I have never forgotten it. I've seen "The Bridge on the River Kwai" (**** OUT OF ****) more times than I can remember, and this movie has never lost its allure. Basically, "The Bridge on the River Kwai" is a World War II action thriller set in Burma during the spring of 1943 featuring a predominantly all male cast with women in supporting roles as British nurses and Siamese cargo bearers. This Sam Speigel production received seven Oscars from the Academy of Arts and Science during their annual 1958 ceremony. The film won Best Picture, Best Director (for David Lean, Best Actor (for Alec Guinness), Best Cinematography (for Jack Hildyard), Best Editing (for Peter Taylor), and Best Music (for Malcolm Arnold). The film also received the nomination for Best Actor in a Supporting Role (for Sessue Hayakawa). Additionally, "The Bridge on the River Kwai" also won Golden Globes for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor.

This stirring epic is based on Pierre Boulle's award-winning 1952 novel, but director David Lean and scenarists Michael Wilson of "A Place in the Sun" and Carl Foreman of "High Noon" took several liberties with the storyline. First, Boulle didn't obliterate the bridge.  The British commandos were able to derail the train, but the bridge remained intact.  Second, Colonel Nicholson discovered the sabotage, but he didn’t collapse on the plunger and blow-up the bridge. Third, no Americans, specifically the character of Shears, appeared in the novel. Fourth, although there was a Shears, he was a British commando, but he tried to cross the river during the finale to kill Nicholson. Fifth, the British said that they had to send in commandos because the RAF couldn’t fly the distance to bomb the bridge.  In Boulle’s novel, the British don’t send in bombers because they felt the Japanese could repair any damage from bombing raids and have the bridge back in action. Nevertheless, this memorable film brims with irony and answers all the questions about life. This movie also immortalized the whistling march theme "Colonel Bogey March." Interestingly, former British POWs hated the movie and wanted to lambaste it, but they kept their silence for fear that their protests would provide more publicity for a movie that they felt deserved nothing in the way of publicity.  This is a beautiful movie and the cast is stupendous. Although Alec Guinness won the Oscar for Best Actor, I believe that the incomparable William Holden as the only American prisoner of war steals the movie hands down. Holden made a specialty of playing anti-heroic roles.  As Shears, he is at his anti-heroic best. Sessue Hayakawa makes a terrific adversary. By and large, the Japanese are treated with respect despite their status as the enemy in this World War II outing.

Essentially, David Lean's masterpiece concerns a clash of wills in the middle of the jungle during World War II. Colonel Nicholson (Alec Guinness of "Star Wars") and his British officers and enlisted men survive a grueling march through the jungle to a Japanese labor camp where camp commandant Colonel Saito (Sessue Hayakawa of "The Swiss Family Robinson") orders them to erect a bridge across the River Kwai. Saito stipulates in no uncertain terms that British officers will work alongside their men, but Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson refuses to abide by these terms.  He cites the rules of the Geneva Convention.  Saito’s reacts with incredulity, “Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of “cricket!” Saito puts Nicholson in a sweat box and the intense heat very nearly kills Nicholson. Nonetheless, Nicholson refuses to give in to Saito's demands. Meanwhile, construction work on the bridge commences, but the Japanese make virtually no headway. At the same time, Shears engineers an escape from the camp along with two other British soldiers and nearly dies in the process. Initially, everybody believes that Shears drowned in the river. The two British soldiers that accompany him die in the attempt. Natives find the destitute Shears washed up on the shores of their villages. He is deliriously and emaciated. He is in such bad shape that he mistakes a kite for a vulture. The villagers nurse Shears back to life, provide him with fresh supplies, and send him on his way in a boat. Eventually, he reaches British lines. Back at the Kwai camp, a desperate Saito loses the battle of wills with the obstinate Nicholson and agrees that the British officers do not have to work. Interestingly, Saito and Nicholson both believe that they are "mad."

Ironically, Nicholson decides to embrace the bridge construction so as to occupy his men and prove to the Japanese that the British soldier is the best soldier in the world. When Nicholson's chief medical officer, Major Clipton (James Donald of "The Great Escape") suggests that helping the Japanese erect a bridge could qualify as treason, Nicholson reminds him that they were ordered to surrender to the enemy. Nicholson goes on to say, “If you had to operate on Saito, would you do your job or would you let him die?Would you have it be said that our chaps can't do a better job? You're a fine doctor, Clipton, but you've a lot to learn about the army.” Nicholson and his officers devise a way of building a suitable bridge and one of Nicholson's engineers tells him that a similar bridge built of wood survived 300 years. Nicholson becomes so obsessed with the project that he eventually has his own officer pitch in and finish it.

The British dispatch a team of commandos led by Major Warden (Jack Hawkins of "Shalako") to destroy the bridge. A former university profess, Warden is an expert with plastic explosives.  Warden convinces a reluctant Shears to lead them to it since Shears knows the way. Shears explains that he cannot because he isn’t really an officer. It seems that when his ship the Houston sank, he swam ashore with an officer.  Eventually, after his superior died, Shears appropriated the officer’s insignia and impersonated him, erroneously believing he would receive better treatment than an enlisted man. Such was not the case. Warden informs him that they knew about his masquerade.  He also gives Shears the simulated rank of major for the mission. Reluctantly, Shears agrees to lead Force 316 through the jungle to the bridge. The four members of Force 316 bail out over enemy territory but Sergeant Chapman dies when his parachute drifts in the trees and kills him. Ironically again, our heroes must take an entirely different route because the route that Shears took is swarming now with Japanese. Since the village cannot furnish them with male cargo bears, they recruit women to lug the explosives and other supplies across some of the most treacherous landscape imaginable.  Our heroes have to make a forced march through swamps teeming with leeches, across rugged mountains, before they eventually they reach the bridge. Along the way, during a rest break at a scenic waterfall, Japanese troops surprise our heroes, and a Warden and his men have to track them down and kill them. During the fracas, Warden is wounded in the foot when Lieutenant Joyce (Geoffrey Horne of "The Implacable Three") cannot muster the nerve to stab the soldier.  All along the British High Command worried that Joyce didn't have what it takes to kill a man.  Joyce recovers his nerve during the spellbinding finale and kills Colonel Saito.

Altogether, "The Bridge on the River Kwai" simply ranks as the greatest movie ever made.

FILM REVIEW OF ''ABOVE THE LAW" (1988)

Steven Seagal looks emaciated in director Andrew Davis’ hard boiled crime thriller “Above the Law,” (*** out of ****) co-starring skull-faced Hollywood heavy Henry Silva as a knife-wielding psycho.  Reportedly, Seagal broke into the film business because one of his students, the highly respected Hollywood agent Michael Ovitz, made it happen. “Above the Law” qualifies as a formulaic law and order epic about narcotics smuggling and an assassination attempt on an incorruptible U.S. Senator.  Most of the action takes place in Chicago with Seagal defeating the loathesome villains with his usual brand of aggressive tenacity.  Seagal uses Aikiko on them when he isn’t swapping lead. The title refers to nobody being immune from justice.  Ironically, Davis emphasizes this point with newsreel footage of U.S. President Richard Nixon quoting Abraham Lincoln on the subject. Remember Nixon was the Republican who resigned in disgrace over the Watergate Scandal.  The Andrew Davis & Steven Seagal screenplay features more autobiographical material about the martial arts star than any of his other epics.  Indeed, “Above the Law” provides a glimpse of Seagal as a youngster with several genuine pictures of the actor.  Composer David Michael Frank betrays the late 1980s origins of “Above the Love” with his cheesy B-movie score.  Nothing surprising occurs as our stalwart hero tackles the villains with a vengeance.  The villains are merciless dastards, but Nico cuts them little slack.  As it turns out, the CIA has ties with organized crime. 

Making his motion picture debut, Seagal casts himself as an Italian-American born in Palermo, Italy, who immigrated to America at age seven.  He saw a martial arts demonstration at a baseball game later on when he was a teenager. Company agent Nelson Fox (Chelcie Ross of “Major League”) initially recruited Nicolo ‘Nico’ Toscani into the CIA. Before the Agency approached him at an Embassy function in Tokyo, Nico had studied and taught martial arts in Japan.  Our naïve protagonist totes an M-16 along the border of Vietnam and Cambodia on assist and observe missions. He witnesses some things that he should haven’t seen.  “Above the Law” gets off to a good start as Nico encounters Colonel Kurt Zagon (Henry Silva of “The Hills Run Red”) as the latter is interrogating a native in the jungle.  Somebody, it seems, has been tampering with Zagon’s opium.  Our hero doesn't understand what any of this has to do with acquiring intelligence about the enemy. Nico and Zagon clash, setting up expectations for a gory finale about an hour later.  

The action shifts years later to contemporary Chicago.  Toscani has a wife Sara (Sharon Stone of “Basic Instinct”), and they have just attended the communion of their first child  Giuliano.  Nico’s pals on the force laugh about him for having more relatives under federal indictment than any other cop in Chicago.  When he isn’t patrolling the streets, Detective Sergeant Tosconi takes care of personal business relating to the disappearance of his attractive young niece.  Seagal’s first cinematic fight takes place in a bar as he is searching for her.  Even the bartender knows what to expect when Nico enters.  “This ain’t nothing but trouble coming in my place tonight,” he observes with dread.  Nico gets a tip from the low-life, Alex (Christopher Peditto), who was getting his niece hopped up on drugs.  Alex doesn't want to go to jail so he babbles about a hooker and a cocaine lawyer setting up a deal.  Nico slaps him around enough until he provides a name.  Nico is the kind of cop who isn’t above breaking the rules.  He eavesdrops via a wiretap on a conversation between a couple of Columbians. He gets wind of a shipment arriving in an engine block at the Fulton Meat Market. Later, at the market, the Feds blow the case for them and Nico chases the villains in their car on foot.  He throws himself in front of their Lincoln and tumbles across the hood and atop the roof.  After they blow some holes in the roof, Nico smashes a passenger window and clamps a hand onto Tony Salvano, one of the lawyers.  This is a reasonably suspenseful scene.  Nico is shown spread-eagle clinging to the roof of the Lincoln while the driver swerves in an effort to dislodge him.  Eventually, the driver obeys his boss and pulls over. Afterward, Nico and his buddy Detective Lukich (Ron Dean of "Code of Silence") take apart the engine block.  Instead of narcotics, they discover several packages of C-4 explosives.  The Feds arrest Tony Salvano, but they let him off the hook because he is a government snitch.

  

After FBI agent Neeley releases Salvano and his driver, they check out St. Mary’s Church where Nico has attended.  While they are in the church, , Father Gennaro (Joe V. Greco) introduces Nico and Jackson to Father Tomasino and his refugees who are hiding in the basement of the church.  The next time Nico shows up for church, a bomb goes off.  The Father delivers a message about knowing the truth.  “Our leaders tell us and talk to us about them and us.  But almighty God talks to us about all mankind as one.  Now, we have an obligation to find out what is the truth.  We need to study.  We need to question.  We need to read and we need to find out what they are doing in our name.  And we must support those brave souls who seek the truth.”  Not long after the sermon, a woman departs the sanctuary.  Nico spots a suspicious sack moments before it explodes and kills Father Gennaro.  Later, Nico discovers that the blast was meant for Father Tomasino.  The blast kills Father Gennaro.  After the explosion, a carload of thugs tries to assault Nico and he shows them his stuff.

Afterward, the Feds come down hard on Nico and persuade the Chicago Police Department to suspend him.  He surrenders his gun and badge.  This doesn’t prevent Nico from carrying out his own investigation.  Nico meets Fox on a skyscraper.  We learn that Zagon has a four thousand acre ranch in Costa Rica.  Zagon wanted Senator Ernst Harrison assassinated because he was going to expose their plans to invade Nicaragua using cocaine money.  As it turns out, Father Tomasino learned about it while in Nicaragua and Zagon fears that he may have told the senator.  Zagon doesn’t want to kill the senator is word has been leaked about it.  Nelson holds Nico at gunpoint about the same time that Zagon and his cronies arrive in an underground garage.  A gunfight erupts and the bartender kills Nelson who slides Nico his gun.  More shots are fired and Salvano is hit.  Nico backs a car into Salvano and runs the car half out of the high rise parking lot so Salvano plunges onto the elevated railway and is electrocuted to death.  Zagon and his thugs pursue Nico in another car.  They run Nico down, pick up him, and prepare to torture him. Nico surprises them, breaks through his restraints, and devastating them.  He kills two with a shotgun and breaks Zagon’s arm when he threatens him with a knife.  Afterward. He snaps Zagon’s neck.  Later, Senator Harrison drops by Nico’s house and thanks him.  Apparently, Nico appears before Congress as “Above the Law” concludes with his testimony.  “Gentlemen, whenever you have a group of individuals who are beyond any investigation who can manipulate the press, judges, members of our Congress, you’re always gonna have within our government those who are above the law.”