FILM REVIEW OF ''COLD BLOOD" (2019)

French writer/director Frédéric Petitjean makes his feature film debut with “Cold Blood,” (** OUT OF ****) a somber but suspenseful, low-budget, crime thriller set in the snow-swept wilderness of rural Washington state.  Veteran actor Jean Reno toplines in the familiar role of a professional hitman who prefers peace and solitude to the chaos and anarchy of the city.  Nowhere near as entertaining as “Le Femme Nikita” or “Leon: The Professional,” “Cold Blood” qualifies as a cat and mouse thriller between a quarry and its prey.  Imagine a slight spin on the Stephen King movie “Misery” (1990) where a woman saved a famous author after a car crash and confined him to a bed where she maintained him in excruciating captivity.  “Cold Blood” depicts a somewhat similar storyline.  A young girl has an accident in the middle of nowhere, and a suspicious hermit--a hitman in hiding--helps her recover at his secluded cabin.  The two suspect each other of treachery, but the film plays out under different circumstances than “Misery.” 

Filmed largely on location in the Ukraine, “Cold Blood” benefits immeasurably from the atmospheric, widescreen cinematography of “Fifth Element” lenser Thierry Arbogast.  “Cold Blood” is serene looking, but beneath that serenity lurks evil.  Reno is as cold and calculating as he was in “Le Femme Nikita” and “Leon: The Professional,” but he has been cast here as the villain rather than a hero.  Sarah Lind portrays Melody, the daughter of an underworld crime czar, who plans to avenge the murder of a father whom she barely knew. Joe Anderson is a tenacious N.Y.P.D. detective who never gives up a case.  Happily, Petitjean doesn’t drag out the obvious, and “Cold Blood” doesn’t wear out its welcome before the villain receives his just comeuppance.  Nevertheless, despite its many contemplative strengths, this tense movie is neither a date night outing nor a supercharged shoot’em up.

“Cold Blood” opens with a lone figure careening recklessly through mountainous white terrain on a snowmobile.  A sudden accident launches the rider into a head over heels trajectory into the sky as if propelled from a catapult.  The rider smashes into the ground, and the impact knocks the helmet clean off, so the victim tumbling into the snow is revealed to be a young woman. When she manages to regain consciousness, Melody (Sarah Lind of “The Humanity Bureau”) finds a tree branch partially embedded in her thigh.  Mustering her nerve against the horrific pain, this dark-haired twentysomething removes a fragment of the tree branch.  During the crash, she skinned up her face, and she has blood caked on her forehead. 

Afterward, Melody crawls on her belly down a pristine white hillside, leaving a trail of bright red blood until she passes out again near a remote cabin by a lake where a solitary figure sits ice water fishing.  After Henry discovers her body inexplicably on his property, he carries Melody into his cabin and dresses her wounds as best he can, considering they are seventy miles from civilization.  Moreover, reclusive as he is, Henry isn’t prepared to accommodate guests, especially injured ones who require medical treatment. Fortunately, Henry has enough medical training and the equipment to keep Melody alive.  Mind you, the logistics of Petitjean’s plot calls for Melody’s injuries to be moderate but not life-threatening.  She is in no position to rummage around Henry’s cabin and ends up tearing open the wounds that she inflicted on herself during the accident.

At this point, Petitjean leaves the two in the cabin and flashbacks ten months earlier to the bustling metropolis of New York City, where Henry is walking on a treadmill at a fitness club.  A sleazy millionaire industrialist with organized crime ties, Kessler (Jean-Luc Olivier) joins Henry later in a steamy sauna accompanied by his two bodyguards.  Somehow, after Henry excuses himself from the sauna, one of the bodyguards notices Kessler is bleeding from a wound.  Later, at an entirely different place, Henry removes an inconspicuous attaché case crammed with currency from a coin locker. 

At Kessler’s funeral, two plainclothes detectives, Kappa (Joe Anderson of “Amelia”) and his partner Davies (newcomer Ihor Ciszkewycz), discuss the peculiar nature of the industrialist’s demise.  According to the so-called ‘criminal’s manual,’ killers are supposed to attend their victim’s funeral, but Henry knows better than to show up for the last rites.  Kappa explains to Davies that the bullet which killed Kessler was made from ice, so the police cannot use ballistics to trace the gun.  Mind you, the ice bullet gag is an old assassin’s trick dating as far back as “Corruption” (1933) where a man was shot and killed with an ice bullet to frame another fellow for the murder.  Although the case looks like a dead end for Davies, Kappa pursues it relentlessly. Anyway, everything comes full circle twenty-one minutes later as the gal who wrecked her snowmobile arrives in Spokane to rent a bike.

Of course, whether she wants to admit it, Melody doesn’t have a clue about what she is letting herself in for when she stalks a career assassin who carefully plans everything.  Indeed, as we learn later, Henry knew the odds were outlandish a pretty damsel-in-distress would show up conveniently near his front door with injuries which weren’t fatal but required immediate care.  Petitjean ignores pesky reality.  Naturally, Melody needed an excuse to justify her presence.  Apparently, however, it never occurred to our heroine that she might have killed herself and accomplished nothing. 

“Cold Blood” amounts to a thinly plotted stalemate between these two characters for most of its 91 minutes.  They treat each other with extreme caution and utter few words.  They behave like two predators circling each other, biding their time for the right moment to catch the other off-guard.  Melody has no idea Henry is prepared for virtually any contingency.  Simultaneously, Henry cannot imagine the unsatisfying surprise ending that catches everybody—heroine, villain, and audience--napping.  Altogether, “Cold Blood” is a little too anemic for its own good.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE THING" (2011)

First-time Danish helmer Matthijs van Heijningen’s remake of the legendary 1951 creature-feature “The Thing from Another World” qualifies as formulaic but respectable nonsense. The original “Thing” preserved only vestiges of author John W. Campbell’s vintage 1938 short story “Who Goes There?” Instead, producer Howard Hawks, “His Girl Friday” scenarist Charles Lederer, and Hawks’ long-time editor Christian Nyby created the conventional alien-on-the-rampage plot at an isolated, snow-swept, scientific outpost in the Arctic. Not only did “The Thing from Another World” constitute one of Hollywood’s earliest epics to depict extraterrestrials, but it also was the first with a hostile alien devoid of compassion. The original “Thing” alien was a towering homicidal humanoid with the cellular structure of a vegetable who gave the scientists and the U.S.A.F personnel a royal headache before they manage to isolate its weakness and electrocute it.

In 1982, “Halloween” director John Carpenter and writer Bill Lancaster produced a sequel where survivors from the initial tragedy encountered a nearby community of scientists. The shape-shifting alien invader entered their camp as a Yukon husky and mayhem ensued. Instead of contending with a humanoid creature, the guys in “The Thing” confronted an ugly beast with tentacles, huge teeth, and a bad attitude that absorbed its victims and then impersonated them. The monster remained in one body until he shifted to another host. Consequently, nobody trusted anybody. Trapped in a remote outpost in Antarctica, the characters suffered from extreme paranoia. Principally, they suspected that one of their own had been cloned and threatened to not only kill them but also clone them. Van Heijningen and “Final Destination 5” scenarist Eric Heisserer have appropriated the complicated Carpenter and Lancaster approach rather than the straightforward, single alien invasion plot. Nevertheless, Heijningen and Heisserer have altered a thing or two. First, the hero of the new “Thing” (*** out of ****) is a woman. Second, the way our heroes test to determine the presence of the alien differs. Third, no equivalent to Dr. Carrington in the original exists in the group of scientists. If you recall, Dr. Carrington represented the fraction of scientists who did not want to destroy the Thing. Instead, they wanted to reason with it and learn from it. Mind you, the new “Thing” isn’t as creepy as Carpenter’s masterpiece with its abundant atmosphere, memorable Ennio Morricone score, and charismatic cast. Nevertheless, Heijningen and Heisserer deserve recognition for their fidelity to the source material and the sequel. Of course, it doesn’t hurt matters that two of the producers on Carpenter’s “Thing” also produced this remake.

“The Thing” takes place in Antarctica during the winter of 1982. Arrogant Dr. Sander Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen of “Season of the Witch”) persuades a top-notch graduate student, American paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead of “Black Christmas”), into joining his Norwegian geological expedition. She accepts and finds herself freezing her toes off while the guys show her their top-secret discovery. They have found a gigantic alien spacecraft entombed in the ice for possibly a hundred-thousand years. The first scene shows how they plunged a snow-plow into a crevasse and found it. Unlike the original film, these scientists stumble onto the spacecraft deep in the ice, but they do not blow it up accidentally. Like the original, they locate the mysterious body of an alien that ejected from the crashed spaceship only to freeze. Carefully, they remove it from the ice and stash it in their research facility for examination. Eventually, the ice thaws, and the monster escapes. Our heroes realize that they are contending with a deadly alien and wield flame-throwers. They start to worry during an early autopsy when it becomes apparent that the creature can spit out replicas of their colleagues. Things reach a crisis point, and nobody trusts anybody, until the savvy Kate figures out that the alien cannot replicate inanimate objects. If an individual wears jewelry, has metal appliances surgically attached to their bones, or/and silver fillings in their teeth, the Thing cannot replicate these items. Unfortunately, some of the scientists don’t have silver fillings. They have porcelain ones. Ultimately, everything boils down to a suspenseful game of cat and mouse. Happily, Van Heijningen and Heisserer drum up an adequate number of scares to keep you poised on the edge. Moviegoers who don’t do horror movies might find “The Thing” a bit more demanding. In one scene, a gash appears in one character’s face, runs down his chest toward his stomach as both open wide like a mouth and elephant tusk-sized teeth sprout accompanied by a hideous howl.

Creature designer Michael Broom of “The Mist” and “Predators” has conjured up several memorable creatures. At one point, the alien absorbs two men so that it looks like a two-headed transplant walking on its arms and legs like a wolf. During another scene, a forearm detaches from one individual and attaches itself by the forearm to another fellow’s face and starts to graft itself onto the man’s face! When the monster is in its own ghastly form, it can project a slimy-looking tentacle that penetrates flesh and bone like a spear. Once the tentacle has perforated an individual’s back, its tip emerges from the chest and deploys into a four-pronged, grappling hook that retracts its victim into its voracious maw. The worst thing that you can say about the new “Thing” is that nobody delivers any memorable lines of dialogue, and the cast lacks the charisma of the first two movies. Suffice to say, all those Norwegian fellows look and sound identical with little individuality among them. Happily, they don’t turn Mary Elizabeth Winstead into a sexy Ripley from “Alien” clone. Joel Edgerton plays a resilient helicopter pilot who is reminiscent of Kurt Russell’s hero in the sequel. Shrewdly, Heijningen paces the appearance of the alien for maximum impact and predictably ratchets up the action in the final quarter. Like the Carpenter classic, the remake shuns humor. Ultimately, although it is a remake of the 1951 “Thing,” the new “Thing” shares more in common with Carpenter’s “Thing.” Despite the sense of déjà vu that accompanies this polished production, “The Thing” lacks the turbo-driven fright of Carpenter’s sequel, but it scores major points with its impressive CGI creature designs.

FILM REVIEW OF ''WHITEOUT'' (2009)

The trailer to the Kate Beckinsale murder-mystery “Whiteout” (** out of ****) makes it look like a remake of the classic horror thriller “The Thing From Another World.” Something crashes in the ice near a scientific research laboratory in Antarctica. A body that apparently fell from the sky is found on the frozen tundra, and a desperate murderer with an ice ax goes on the rampage. The only person standing between this maniac and his next casualty is a female U.S. Marshal who wants to resign and go home now that her stint is almost up. She has a past that is clouded with drama. The story synopsis also appropriates the “30 Days of Night” gimmick. The outpost is about to be plunged into six months of wintry oblivion while our heroes battle the killer. Moreover, a tumultuous storm forces the scientists to evacuate the base. In other words, the filmmakers do an exemplary job of establishing the inhospitable setting which they inform during the opening credits is “the most isolated landmass on Earth.” They put the heroine and her help between an icy rock and a hard place for the climactic showdown.

Unfortunately, “Whiteout” emerges as neither “The Thing” nor “30 Days of Night.” This thoroughly humdrum homicidal hokum lacks a sense of urgency. The gratuitous Beckinsale shower sequence near the beginning as she flaunts her tidy whites should titillate males. No body doubles there. Nothing else in “Swordfish” director Dominic Sena’s frostbitten yarn, however, will titillate anybody. Sophomore scenarists Jon & Erich Hoeber along with “House of Wax” (2005) remake scribes Chad & Carey Hayes serve up nothing but formula from start to finish. Furthermore, they’ve altered the 2001 graphic novel by Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber. Chiefly, they have eliminated the second heroine, a British secret service agent and replaced her with a bland United Nations investigator who may be the killer. A shortage of suspense, the expository-riddled but convoluted storytelling, and lackluster villains sabotage this shoddy saga. You might even call “Whiteout” a variation on the Sean Connery in space move “Outland” (1981) where he played a federal marshal. The plot grinds to a halt too many times. As fetching and credible as Kate Beckinsale was in the “Underworld” thrillers in her skin-tight leather suits, she looks all wrong for this comic book screen adaptation in parka and goggles.

The movie opens with a prologue set in 1957. A Soviet cargo plane—clearly a CGI replica--whips into view, like the evil space cruiser in “Star Wars,” in the first shot. The restless co-pilot wants to kill the three guys in the bay who are guarding a locked safe with a secret cargo. The co-pilot botches the job, and a gunfight erupts inside the fuselage. Everybody catches a slug in the shoot-out, and the cargo plane crashes in the in the Antarctica. Fifty years pass and the plane still hasn't been found. Meanwhile, U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) is serving out the last couple of days in her two-year shift. She holed up at the outpost because of trust issues. Sena intersperses flashbacks of her partner turning rogue on her after they arrest a drug smuggler in Miami. He tries to kill her, but she blasts him. Of course, this is to assure us that she can fire a gun. Now, she is the law at the South Pole. Mostly, Carrie walks a beat and sometimes even contends with a misdemeanor. The last couple of days before everybody heads home, our heroine discovers the corpse of a geologist in the middle of nowhere in 65-below temperatures with half of its head caved in and no trace of how it got where it did. Venerable Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt of “M.A.S.H.”) is the head physician and means something more to Carrie than Sena and his scribes ever show us. Again, it looks like a case of role & gender reversal from “Outland.”

Carrie crosses paths with a mysterious U.N. observer Robert Pryce (Gabriel Macht of “The Spirit”) and a happy African-American pilot Delfy (Columbus Short of “Cadillac Records”) flies them all over the stunning, snow-swept terrain. At one point, Carrie and Pryce try to track down where the dead geologist had been working. Robert and Delfy watch as Carrie takes one too many steps and plunges into the snow and lands alongside a buried cargo plane. This familiar discovery plot has been used in many films, such as the 1981 opus “Treasure of the Yankee Zephyr.” They investigate and find several shot-up stiffs. They locate a smashed metal safe and find empty but ominous looking canisters. Meantime, a madman is on the rampage killing people with an ice ax. Of course, he is covered from head to foot in a parka, hood, and boots. The scriptwriters litter the action with obvious red herrings galore. The quartet of writers who wrote this forgettable thriller retread all the usual clichés. The only suspense occurs in the exteriors when people have to attach themselves to a life-line cable to keep from being blown away or lost in the Antarctic blizzards. At one point, our heroine eludes the murderer, but she winds up sacrificing two fingers from frostbite.

Beckinsale gives it her best and she really looks smashing in her undies. Tom Skerritt of "M.A.S.H. plays the kindly base doctor who would not harm a fly. Macht is squandered and given little to do. The CGI work is horribly obvious, but cinematographer Chris Soos does a skillful job of using scenic Quebec and Manitoba masquerade as Antarctica. Somewhere in this predictable whodunit lurked a better movie. Typically, the term ‘whiteout’ is a synonym for poor visibility. “Whiteout” qualifies as a washout.