FILM REVIEW OF "HANG'EM HIGH" (1968)

Director Ted Post's "Hang ‘em High" (*** OUT OF ****) qualifies as Clint Eastwood's least appealing western.  This United Artists release served as the first Eastwood epic after Sergio Leone's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."  Composer Dominic Frontiere's powerful orchestral score ranks as its best asset and enhances the formulaic Leonard Freeman & Mel Goldberg screenplay about western justice, circa 1889. Frontiere composed the scores for television shows such as "The Invaders" and "The Rat Patrol."  His score for the Lee Van Cleef western "Barquero" sounds like variations on his "Hang ‘em High" theme.  Mind you, Eastwood looks cool as a glacier in his dark blue outfit and flat-brimmed hat, and he kills bad guys who deserve to die without a qualm.  Nevertheless, "Hang ‘em High" resembles a tautly made television drama. The surroundings, even the sandy desert scenes, lack the majestic sprawl of his inspired Italian westerns and his later sagebrushers such as "The Outlaw Josey Wales," "The Pale Rider," and "Unforgiven."  Clearly, since he hadn't made a strong enough impression on Hollywood, Eastwood had to play it safe with a low-budget.  In retrospect, the wily Eastwood surrounded himself with an incredible cast of supporting actors that assumes far greater significant now than back in 1968 when “Hang ‘em High” swung into theaters.

No, "Hang ‘em High" was NOT a Spaghetti western like the Sergio Leone trilogy that preceded them.  Lensed entirely in Southern California, this thoroughly routine oater springs its one and only surprise when our hero gets his neck stretched in the first scene. The sly ploy resembles Hitchcock's "Psycho" in this respect.  The last thing that you’d expect is that the star would be hanged at the outset.  Jed Cooper is a former St. Louis lawman-turned-cattleman wrongly hanged for rustling who survives the near fatal ordeal.  "Hang ‘em High" focuses primarily on the theme of revenge that figured prominently in most Italian westerns.  The lynch mob found our innocent hero after he had bought cattle from a murdered sixty-something rancher.  No matter what Jed says, Captain Wilson and his nine conspirators refuse to believe him.  He provides a fairly detailed description of the man who sold him the cattle, but this doesn’t dissuade the Captain from his decision. As it turns out, the dastard who killed the rancher gave Jed (Clint Eastwood) a forged bill of sale. This is what prompts the villains to see Jed swing dramatically during the opening credits as the title “Hang ‘em High” slams into the foreground in blood red letters.  Cooper finds himself briefly imprisoned after a tough-as-nails lawman, Marshal David Bliss (Ben Johnson of "Chism") cuts him down and takes him back stand trial at Fort Grant before the stern Judge Adam Fenton.

Judge Fenton (Pat Hinlge of "The Gauntlet")is a quasi-Judge Roy Bean. He has the last word on justice, and Hingle delivers a commanding performance. The villains led by Captain Wilson (an elderly Ed Begley of "Boots Malone") are an ineffectual lot. They botch hanging Jed Cooper, and he comes after them with warrants issued by Fenton. As much as Fenton warns Cooper that he better bring the hanging party in,  Cooper winds up killing several of them. The town where all the action occurs has another character, Rachel Warren (Inger Stevens of "Five Card Stud"), who has Fenton's permission to look at all new prisoners.  She is searching for the fiends that wronged her.  The romance between Jed and Rachel is as contrived as most of this weak western. Meanwhile, Jed realizes that Fenton may be a bigger bastard than he is with his iron-fisted rules about legality. In his spaghetti westerns, Clint Eastwood bowed to nobody, but his lawman character here takes orders, something that clashes against the Eastwood characters in

"Two Mules for Sister Sara" and "Joe Kidd."

One of the casting decisions defies logic, specifically Alan Hale Jr. as one of Wilson's riders who hangs Cooper. The portly Hale had played the beloved Skipper from "Gilligan's Island," but he had played less lovable roles before "Hang'em High." Nonetheless, it is jarring to see Hale in such a role.  One of the best casting decisions was veteran B-movie cowboy star Bob Steele.  Bob Steele grew up as the son of the same B-movie director who helmed numerous John Wayne westerns during the 1930s.  Indeed, Steele himself was a B-movie cowboy who starred in his share of low-budget oaters in the 1930s and afterward.  Meanwhile, Bruce Dern makes an excellent villain. "Hawaii 5-0" actor James MacArthur has a memorable cameo as the gallows Preacher.  Dennis Hooper as well as a line-up of familiar faces, including L.Q. Jones of "Battle Cry" and Ned Romero of "Dan August," flesh out "Hang ‘em High."  Not surprisingly, Hooper plays an insane prisoner called 'The Prophet.'  There are no spectacular looking shoot-outs because Ted Post shoots everything like one of his "Gunsmoke" or "Rawhide" episodes.  The scene where Jed is riddled with bullets and Rachel has to take care of him adds a tearjerker text to the story.  Happily, Eastwood would go on to make "Two Mules for Sister Sara" and redeem himself for this lackluster effort. The neatest touch occurs when they hang a number of men and one of them loses a boot as they plunge through the trap doors.

Happily, Post's next outing with Eastwood would come with the highly superior "Dirty Harry" sequel "Magnum Force." If you're looking for a better lynch law western, watch "The Ox-Bow Incident" with Henry Fonda that was made back during World War II.

 

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE LONE RANGER'' (2013)

 “The Lone Ranger” (*** OUT OF ****) is an entertaining but outlandish western spoof aboutthe origins of the protagonist told from the perspective of his faithful Indian companion Tonto.  Since westerns are neither popular nor fashionable, Walt Disney Pictures and producer Jerry Bruckheimer must have felt that the only way to treat the subject matter without alienating audiences was to emphasize comedy.  Just about everybody I know has referred to it as “Pirates of the Caribbean” on the western frontier.  The comparison seems apt, too.  Director Gore Verbinski helmed the first three “Pirates” epics.  Johnny Depp starred in them, too.  Interestingly, Depp’s Tonto emerges as a far more tragic but sympathetic figure than Captain Jack Sparrow.  Some of the larger-than-life shenanigans, particularly the agile display of horsemanship atop a fast-moving train, can be attributed to co-scenarists Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio.  Not only did they write “The Mask of Zorro,” but they also penned “The Legend of Zorro.”  Antonio Banderas galloped his black stallion atop a trundling train, too.  Elliot and Rossio also wrote “Alladin,” “Small Soldiers,” and the first three “Pirates” movies.  A third scenarist, Justin Haythe of “Snitch” and “Revolutionary Road,” contributed to this sprawling saga.  Mind you, Armie Hammer’s Lone Ranger is nothing like Clayton Moore’s Masked Man.  Moore debuted as the eponymous character in the ABC-TV series “The Lone Ranger” back in 1949.  He wore the mask longer than any other actor.  Clayton Moore registered so deeply in the American psyche as the Masked Man that his clash with the copyright holders in 1981 about wearing the mask yielded enough bad publicity to sink “The Legend of the Lone Ranger.”  Apart from the WB Network, the Lone Ranger hasn’t fired any silver slugs since 2003.  Verbinski and his scribes poke fun at the most important convention of The Lone Ranger: the mask.  None of the previous Rangers worried about the mask. Armie Hammer’s Lone Ranger feels self-conscious about the mask and doesn’t understand its significance.  Everybody who encounters the Lone Ranger asks him about the mask.  

“The Lone Ranger” opens in San Francisco in 1933.  A little boy in a cowboy outfit, hat, vest, mask, and matching cap pistols pays for a ticket to see a Wild West Show.  He stares at a number of exhibits, such as the buffalo, and then he meets a replica of a Noble Savage.  At this point, in the tradition of the “Night at the Museum,” the Indian surprises him and speaks.  A wizened Tonto (Johnny Depp of “Blow”) wears a black bird atop his head and looks like he should be at the Happy Hunting Ground.  He recognizes his old partner, the Lone Ranger, and blows the little guy’s mind so much that the kid whips out a cap pistol and blasts away.  Afterward, Tonto settles down to chronicle the legend of the Lone Ranger.  John Reid (Armie Hammer of “The Social Network”) has acquired a law degree and is returning home to Colby, Texas, to serve as the county prosecutor.  At the same time, treacherous railroad executive Lathan Cole (Tom Wilkerson of “The Green Hornet”) has pulled strings so he can hang one of the most notorious outlaws, Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner of “Heat”), wherever he wants as a warning to other desperadoes.  Awaiting the train at the station is John’s older brother Dan (James Badge Dale of “World War Z”).  John and Dan’s father served with the Texas Rangers.  Dan and his wife Rebecca (Ruth Wilson) watch in horror as the train derails. A huge lever designed to spin the wheels of the locomotive tumbles end-over-end from the sky and narrowly misses our heroes.  When we meet the chief villain, Butch Cavendish, this murderer is chained to the floor of a freight car.  Tonto sits nearby and watches as the outlaw finds a six-gun stashed under a plank.  Cavendish behaves like an unsavory villain.  He shoots both of sentries without a qualm.  Impetuous John Reid manages to get the drop on him.  Nevertheless, Cavendish escapes, and our heroes barely get off the train in time to save themselves.  Dan forms a posse and tosses John his father’s Texas Rangers badge.  Basically, John behaves like every western tinhorn that you’ve ever seen on the big-screen.  Dan’s trustworthy scout Collins (Leon Rippy of “Stargate”) betrays the Rangers and leads them into an ambush.  Everybody gets shot to ribbons.  The depraved Cavendish turns out to be a cannibal, but he isn’t shown chowing down. Meantime, John is shot twice, passes out, and appears dead for all practical purposes.  Tonto finds him later and tries to bury him.  At one point, a mysterious white stallion materializes and scrapes its hoof across John Reid’s Ranger badge.  Afterward, Cavendish kidnaps Dan’s widow Rebecca and her son Danny.  Eventually, Cavendish orders Collins to finish them off.  

“The Lone Ranger” occurs against the scenic backdrop of American history during the construction of the transcontinental railroad.  The infamous Cavendish and Cole are playing for high stakes.  They have struck it rich with silver mine and excavated over $30 million worth of ore.  Rather than remain content as a minor railway executive, Cole mounts a hostile takeover of the railway company while orchestrating the annihilation of the Comanche Indian nation.  John Reid bumbles along for the first 90 minutes trying to convince himself he can be a man of action.  Verbinski pulls out all stops late in this 149 minute melodrama when he stages a chase between two trains.  This incredible railway sequence is reminiscent of the unforgettable stunts that silent movie star Buster Keaton pulled off in “The General.”  Finally, near the end of the movie, John Reid understands why he must never remove the mask.  He also realizes why he can never have a relationship with Rebecca. As corrupt as society is, the only way to combat this corruption is to be an outlaw.  Altogether, despite its titanic length, “The Lone Ranger” has no shortage of death-defying exploits or spectacular desert scenery.  

FILM REVIEW OF "TWO MULES FOR SISTER SARA" (1970)

"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" director Don Siegel and blacklisted Hollywood scenarist Albert Maltz appropriated an unproduced Budd Boetticher script and turned it into a lively little western shoot'em up called "Two Mules for Sister Sara." Earlier, Eastwood and Siegel had collaborated as star and director on "Coogan's Bluff," and this Universal Studios film release, set against the French Revolution in Mexico, marked their second collaboration.  Later, the two would make the iconic "Dirty Harry" and conclude their work together on the Paramount Pictures' release of "Escape from Alcatraz." "Two Mules for Sister Sara" (*** out of ****) isn't their best outing together, but it has several wonderful scenes.  Wearing a stylist leather hat, Clint appears as tough and unshaven as he did in his Sergio Leone Spaghetti oaters. Now, however, he plays a swift-shooting, soldier-of-fortune named Hogan. This blood-splattered but amusing western comedy/drama teams Eastwood's gimlet-eyed adventurer up with an impious Catholic nun, Sister Sara (Shirley MacLaine of "Sweet Charity"), in Mexico during the late 1860s when the Mexicans were ridding themselves of the yoke of French oppression. In the original Boetticher script, the setting was the Mexican Revolution rather than the French Revolution, Boetticher's nun character was entirely different. Incidentally, sources say Boetticher hated the "Two Mules." Indeed, "Two Mules" contains a surprise ending, and the constant bickering between Hogan and Sara makes for many hilarious moments. Eastwood and MacLaine are charismatic throughout. The film is visually splendid to gaze at thanks to Oscar nominee Gabriel Figueroa's gorgeous cinematography. Consider the way he skewers his set-ups sometimes for a cool effect. The encounter with the Indians boasts some interesting camera angles, especially when Clint topples from the saddle.

"Two Mules for Sister Sara" unfolds with Hogan (Clint Eastwood of "Hang'em High") is riding one horse and leading another loaded with supplies though the dangerous Mexican wilderness. The leisurely title sequence features a variety of critters starting with a hoot owl, followed by a fish gliding through a stream, a cougar poised and panting on a rock ledge, a snake slithering across the sand, and concludes with Hogan's horse crushing a tarantula under its shod horn. Our protagonist is minding his own business when he stumbles accidentally onto three drunken guys and a naked woman in the middle of nowhere. The gunmen offer to share the lady, but then treacherously try to kill our hero over her. Hogan guns two of them down with relative ease, while the third seizes the woman and uses her as a shield. Hogan ignites a stick of TNT and slings it at them. The third man fires at Hogan and flees in desperation to avoid getting blown to bites. Hogan drops him with three shots in the back. He descends the slope, snuffs out the burning fuse on the stick of dynamite, and suggests that the naked lady put on her clothes unless she wants to be sunburnt to hell and gone.  Afterward, Hogan discovers the naked lady is in reality a Catholic nun! He helps her bury them and then blows his cool when he sees Sara sprinkling his canteen on their graves. He snatches his canteen and suggests that she bless them without water since they are in the middle of an arid region. Things turn even weirder when a column of French cavalry show up and Sara goes berserk. She cannot let the French capture her, she explains rapidly to Hogan, because she is working in league with the revolutionaries. Hogan unearths the dead killers and sends them off at a gallop on the backs of their ponies for the French to pursue. Hogan and Sara slip away.

Hogan has come to Mexico to help destroy a French prison on Bastille Day, and he winds up escorting Sara to the prison town. Before he reaches the prison, Hogan gets really drunk after the Yaquis shoot an arrow into his shoulder. Sister Sara uses the reflection off her cross to drive the superstitious Indians away. The scene where she has to remove the arrow from Hogan's shoulder is pretty gritty stuff. Hogan gets himself lickered up to tolerate the pain while Sara digs around the shaft of the arrow and carves a groove in it so he can put gunpowder on it, fire it up, and push it out the back of his shoulder. This scene can be rough on the squeamish. Anyway, since he is tanked enough up to withstand the pain of the arrow removal, Hogan has a difficult time with a train that he is supposed to destroy. He cannot climb the trestle to lash sticks of TNT to the pylons so he convinces Sara--who has a fear of heights--to climb up it and attach the explosives. It is ironic that a nun would hate to ascend and this plays into the big revelation at fade-out. Here comes the train and Hogan misses every shot until Sara hauls off and decks him. He recovers and nails one stick of dynamite and the entire structure collapses under the train.

The big finale finds Hogan and Sara along with some revolutionaries staging an attack on a French fortress. Siegel turns this scene into a massive combat sequence with Hogan demonstrating that he is an excellent shot with either hand. There are a couple of bloody shots in this battle sequence.  A guy gets a machete in the head is an example.  As usual, Clint is a cool as a cucumber. The big surprise--which I won't reveal--concerns the way that Hogan's relationship with Sara concludes. "Two Mules for Sister Sara" is part shoot'em western and part romance and together a very amusing adventure opus.

FILM REVIEW OF ''ARGO" (2012)

The Iranian hostage crisis escape thriller “Argo” (**** OUT OF ****) gives new meaning to the adage that truth is stranger than fiction.  Ostensibly, this imaginative Warner Brothers release takes us back to the year 1979 when America as a superpower found itself cornered by a small but fanatical nation.  Basically, Iran was exacting payback for our imperialist urges in the 1950s when British Prime Minister Winston Churchill persuaded President Dwight Eisenhower to help stage a coup and overthrow the civilian government.  During the ill-fated presidency of Jimmy Carter, outraged Islamic militants stormed the U.S. Embassy in Tehran in November after their cancer-stricken sovereign, Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, who had been installed as monarch by America, fled the country for sanctuary in America.  This unfortunate episode with Iran is not one of America’s star-spangled moments, any more than the U.S.S. Pueblo debacle in North Korea.  The radical strongman—the Ayatollah Khomeini—replaced the tyrannical Shah, and Khomeini’s minions violated the sanctity of our foreign embassy and abducted 52 hostages at gunpoint.  These brave Americans suffered in captivity for 444 days before the U.S. managed to negotiate their release.  Television news turned this unforgettable event into a nightmare that polarized Americans and torpedoed Carter’s bid for a second term.  Now, some 33 years later, actor/director Ben Affleck and fledgling scenarist Chris Terrio have appropriated this historic subject matter for an audacious as well as inspirational espionage caper.  “Argo” should rank in the top ten of anybody’s list of the best films of 2012.  Despite its R-rating for profanity, “Argo” qualifies as the kind of true-life adventure that should please not only armchair historians but also make us all feel a little prouder of our red, white, and blue.

As the fury of a crowd besieging the U.S. Embassy in Tehran mounts, a small number of diplomats—six of them—debate their options and quietly slip out a back door that the radicals aren’t watching.  They find sanctuary at the residence of the Canadian ambassador, Ken Taylor (Victor Garber 0f “The Town”), and try to sit out the situation.  During the last few moments when Americans controlled the embassy, everybody struggled to shred top secret documents.  The Embassy personnel managed to turn enough paperwork into fodder so the six workers weren't missed immediately by the invading Iranians.  Nevertheless, with each day, the predicament of these diplomats grows even more dramatic.  They fear that when the Iranians discover them that they will die horrible deaths.  The Central Intelligence Agency shares similar sentiments, and it hatches several harebrained schemes to save the six.  CIA executive Jack O'Donnell (Bryan Cranston of TV’s “Breaking Bad”) invites one of best experts,Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck of “Good Will Hunting”), to sit in on the conference.  Government officials present a number of scenarios for rescuing the hostages.  For example, they plan to smuggle bicycles to them and await them at the border.  Mendez takes a dim view of this option.  Instead, he suggests they provide training wheels and meet them at the border with Gatorade.  Nobody appreciates his sense of humor, and Mendez dreams up a scheme that seems even more insane.  Mendez proposes to masquerade as a Canadian film producer, fly into Tehran, and waltz the six out under the noses of the Iranians as a team of filmmakers sent to scout locations for a science fiction movie!  Eventually, despite desperate misgivings, the CIA green lights the Mendez plan, and our hero goes into high gear to make it all happen.  He enlists the help of an Oscar-winning Hollywood make-up artist, John Chambers (John Goodman of “Red State”), and a shrewd movie producer, Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin of “Inspector Clouseau”) who doesn't miss a trick.  In real life, Chambers won an Oscar in 1969 for the original “Planet of the Apes.”  They establish a production office and option an obscure science fiction screenplay for which Siegel has nothing but contempt.  Revealing anything more about the elaborate plot would spoil many surprises as well as the nail-biting tension that Affleck orchestrates.

The worst thing you can say about “Argo” is that it unfolds with methodical attention to detail.  Affleck and Terrio rely on history, intelligence, and wit to depict this suspenseful thriller.  They do an excellent job of providing all the necessary history of Iran. Leaving the theater as the end credits roll will only serve to deprive you of some other choice surprises.  You get to compare the actor or actress with the real person they impersonated.  Affleck visited former President Carter, and Carter remembers the moment when he met Mendez.  Meantime, “Argo” skewers the film industry, too.  John Goodman excels a sarcastic make-up artist and Alan Arkin brings multiple dimensional to Lester Siegel.  Indeed, Arkin steals every scene in which he appears.  Affleck and Terrio based their spine tingling saga on the 2007 article "How the CIA Used a Fake Sci-Fi Flick to Rescue Americans from Tehran" by Joshuah Bearman that “Wired” magazine published.  You can go on-line and read the informative article.Bearman's article is insightful.  Incidentally, although things went pretty much as planned, the CIA had to keep the affair hushed up until 1997 when President Clinton officially declassified the operation.  Nevertheless, the liberties that the filmmakers take to enhance the dramatic impact aren’t as drastic as you might imagine.  Affleck and company deserve kudos for not making the Iranian adversaries look like cretinous, one-dimensional villains.  “Argo” qualifies as one of the freshest, most stimulating films that you will ever see.

REVIEW OF ''WRATH OF THE TITANS" (2012)

If you applauded the larger-than-life heroics in “Clash of the Titans,” you’ll probably embrace the derivative exploits “Wrath of the Titans” (**1/2 out of ****) delivers in less time than the original.  Greek mythology tales have never really gone out of fashion. The spectacle of warriors wielding weapons forged by the gods against supernatural monsters reached its zenith during the early 1960s when the Italians produced a plethora of sword and sandal sagas about Hercules, Goliath, Maciste, and Samson.  These epic adventures didn’t take themselves as seriously as their contemporary counterparts have. Most recently, “Troy” (2004), “Alexander,” (2004), “300” (2006), “Clash of the Titans” (2010), and “Immortals” (2011) have been released. “Wrath of the Titans” qualifies as an above-average entry in the CGI special effects laden genre where gods, men, and monsters scrimmage.  Don’t confuse “Wrath of the Titans” with last year’s similarly themed “Immortals.”  Comparatively, the two PG-13 rated “Titans” spectacles are considerably less savage and sadistic than “Immortals.”  While “Clash of the Titans” served as an origins epic, “Wrath” concerns most of the same characters about ten years later. 

In “Clash of the Titans,” the infant demigod Perseus was condemned to die with his mother in a casket plunged into the sea.  Miraculously, Perseus survived.  A humble fisherman, Spyros (Pete Postlethwaite), rescued Perseus and adopted him.  As he grew up, Perseus shunned the gods until Zeus recruited him to save the city of Argos.  Hades, the cruel god of the Tartarus, loosened the legendary sea monster the Kraken with Zeus’ blessing to destroy the city of Argo if the citizens didn’t sacrifice Andromeda.  Defiantly, Perseus and several Argos soldiers embarked on a quest for anything which would enable them to kill the Kraken.  Ultimately, our resourceful hero tangled with the malevolent Medusa.  Half-woman and half-snake, this deadly dame had scores of vipers sprouting from her head rather than curls.  A mere glance at Medusa’s face would petrify any mortal.  Ingeniously, Perseus found a way to decapitate Medusa without eyeballing her.  Perseus saved Princess Andromeda from a fate worse than death and defeated the enormous creature with Medusa’s head. 

“Battle Los Angeles” director Jonathan Liebesman’s “Wrath of the Titans” emerges as a polished but predictable fantasy that imitates its predecessor.  Everybody who made “Clash” doesn’t show up for “Wrath.”  Happily, Sam Worthington returns as Zeus’ rebellious son Perseus who wants little to do with his all-powerful patriarch.  Instead of a boot camp cut, Perseus has a perm that makes him look like Gordon Scott of “Goliath” fame.  Perseus prefers to fish on the seas instead of parade around Mount Olympus.  Despite the tragic death of his wife Io (Gemma Arterton) in “Clash of the Titans,” Perseus has a son, ten-year old Helius (John Bell of “Battleship”), to raise alone.  Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, and Danny Huston reappear respectively as Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon.  Rosamund Pike replaces Alexa Davalos as Andromeda.  This time around Andromeda is more pugnacious.  Decked out in combat regalia, she leads her army into battle against the Titans.  The biggest difference now is that the gods are losing their power because humans aren’t praying to them.  Places of worship lay in ruins. When humanity doesn’t offer prayers to the gods, the power of gods wane, and “Wrath of the Titans” marks a turning point in the franchise.  

If the third entry in the “Titans” franchise—“Revenge of the Titans”--materializes, Zeus and company may appear only as memories.  Presumably, Hades won’t be able to summon another colossal beast from the bowels of the Underworld.  Like its predecessor, “Wrath of the Titans” concerns father and son issues as well as brother versus brother scores.  We learn that Zeus and company endured quite a family feud that ended with them imprisoning their evil father Kronos in Tartarus.  Essentially, Kronos constitutes the equivalent of the Kraken.  Since all blockbusters struggle to top each other, “Wrath of the Titans” pits Perseus against Kronos. Kronos doesn’t want to demolish a single city.  He wants to wipe out mankind.  Whereas the Kraken was a giant sea beast, Kronos is a towering fire god.  Scenarists Dan Mazeau, David Leslie Johnson, and Greg Berlanti make Kronos the equivalent of a lava-spewing volcano.  Earlier, the Kraken made a pretty formidable foe.  One glance at Kronos, however, is enough to make you change your underwear . Imagine what Hellboy would look like if he were the size of Optimus Prime in the “Transformers” movies, and you’ll have a good idea how this immense fiend stacks up to ordinary mortals.

Perseus sets out with Poseidon's illegitimate offspring, Agenor (Toby Kebbell of “RocknRolla”), and Queen Andromeda (Pike) to not only rescue Zeus but also to destroy Kronos.  Earlier, the treacherous Hades and Ares (Édgar Ramírez of “Domino”) double-crossed Zeus and imprisoned him in the Underworld.  Our heroes embark on a scavenger hunt for items.  Along the way, they confront a couple of angry Cyclops and take a beating from them until they befriend them as they did with the giant scorpions named Scorpiochs.  Agenor helps Perseus find the fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy of " Valkyrie "), and Hephaestus shows them the best way to enter Tartarus since he designed it. Eventually, Perseus learns that he must synthesize Zeus’ Thunderbolt, Hades' Pitchfork, and Poseidon’s Trident as a weapon to vanquish Kronos.  In “Star Wars” fashion, our protagonist must take a fiery ride on Pegasus down Kronos’ gullet to dispense the fatal blow.  

“Wrath of the Titans” is amusing hokum.  The stupendous CGI special effects make this 99-minute opus worth watching.  Perseus cuts his teeth on the Chimera. This two-headed, airborne beast with a snake head on its tail attacks him first and then he tackles a couple of towering Cyclops. The maze that our indestructible hero blunders through is more interesting than the Minotaur which he dehorns.  Liebesman stages these audacious battles with vim and vigor.  Perseus looks woebegone by the time he delivers the death blow to his adversary.  “Wrath of the Titans” tops “Clash of the Titans.”