FILM REVIEW OF ''A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST" (2014)

Seth MacFarlane’s half-baked horse opera “A Million Ways to Die in the West” (** OUT OF ****) qualifies as a saddle-sore saga.  This lowest common denominator sagebrush satire boasts low-brow bowel humor, highly offensive language, and gory death scenes.  Despite all these unsavory elements, this western spoof emerges as fair at best and routine at worst.  Sporadically funny jokes and gags cannot conceal the conventions and clichés.  The first problem is the trite Alex Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, and Seth MacFarlane screenplay.  Recently, I watched an Eddie Albert comedy “The Dude Goes West” (1947) that covered similar ground with greater success.  MacFarlane and his co-writers rant about the deplorable conditions governing life on the frontier in the 19^th century American west.  The hero and the heroine hate the west.  This revulsion of all things western neither distinguishes MacFarlane’s movie nor makes its humor any funnier.  The only place where “A Million Ways to Die” breaks ground is with its raunchy R-rated jokes.  Some of the jokes hit, but most miss. Some jokes are so vile they might gag the guys in the “Jackass” movies.  Indeed, MacFarlane gets away with a lot in this lame oater, especially during the opening “Gunsmoke” showdown.  The good jokes are really good.  One of the best turns out to be badly told but this serves to accentuate the humor.  The second problem is most of the dialogue sounds like stand-up, comic routines.  Some standup comedy routines are better than others.  The best gag concerns Old West photography.  The running joke is nobody smiles in a photograph in the 19^th century.  Nevertheless, the grinning photo attained the status as an urban legend.  Those who aren’t appalled by MacFarlane’s infantile as well as scatological sense of humor will no doubt want to roll in it like a dog in its own feces.  “A Million Ways to Die in the West” struggles to emulate “Blazing Saddles,” deliver dialogue like “Deadwood,” and show off like “Faces of Death.”

The setting of “A Million Ways to Die” is the town of Old Stump in the Arizona Territory in the year 1882.  Our pusillanimous sheep farming protagonist, Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane of “Ted”), sinks into a state of depression after his schoolmarm girlfriend, Louise (Amanda Seyfried), dumps him for a snotty lothario, Foy (Neal Patrick Harris of “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”), who owns a mustache shop.  No, nice-guy Albert doesn’t sport a mustache.  Louise left Albert because she classified him as too cowardly.  During the opening Main Street showdown, Albert drops his six-gun in the dust rather than shoot it out with another gunman.  Later, Albert challenges Foy to a duel.  Meantime, a mysterious woman, Anna (Charlize Theron of “Monster”), shows Albert how to handle a hog-leg.  Anna, as it turns out, is the wife of notorious outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson of “Taken”) who eventually decides to shoot Albert for flirting with his wife.  Basically, boy loses girl, boy tries to get girl back, but takes up with a different girl describes the storyline.  An imbecilic subplot concerns the romance between a hard-working saloon prostitute, Ruth (Sarah Silverman of “Evolution”) and a timid male virgin shoemaker (Giovanni Ribisi of “The Mod Squad”) who has agreed not to have intercourse with her until their wedding night.  Albert and his friends emerge as likeable, sympathetic characters, while Foy, Clinch, and his henchmen are as repulsive as rattlers.

Although best known as the creator of the respective animated series “American Dad” and “Family Guy,” not to mention his previous blockbuster comedy “Ted” with Mark Wahlberg, MacFarlane must have been gambling that he could resurrect a moribund franchise with his impertinent humor.  Westerns have not performed well at the box office since the early 1990s, and even then the genre was riding on borrowed time.  After John Wayne died and Clint Eastwood got too old plains, westerns have never regained their former grandeur.  Disney’s “Lone Ranger” tanked last summer, and only AMC’s “Hell on Wheels” on television has survived with any success.  The Jeff Bridges “True Grit” remake and Quentin Tarantino’s slave saga “Django” are the sole examples of successes.  Nothing about MacFarlane’s approach to the genre justifies its use.  He looks out of place himself with his hopelessly clean-scrubbed, Shoney’s Big Boy looks.  Aside from his profanity, MacFarlane plays the same tenderfoot that Bob Hope, Eddie Albert, Gary Cooper, Don Knotts, or Tim Conway have done in earlier movies and television shows.  Neil Patrick Harris usually steals the show no matter what the material, but he makes only a minor impression with his Snidely Whiplash villain.  Unfortunate Amanda Seyfried has little more to do than bulge her beautiful eyes and swish an umbrella.  Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson wander through their roles.  Colorful cameos by the likes of Christopher Lloyd, Gilbert Gottfried, Ewan McGregor, Jamie Foxx, and Bill Maher prove more stimulating.  “A Million Ways to Die in the West” could have been a million times better.

FILM REVIEW OF "THE SWITCH" (2010)

Although the Jennifer Aniston & Jason Bateman romantic comedy "The Switch" (**** OUT OF ****) didn't beat the earlier Jennifer Lopez sperm bank comedy "The Back Up Plan" to the big-screen, co-directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck have produced a much more satisfying yarn about a single, fortysomething female's desire for artificial insemination. "The Back-Up Plan" relied on the comic predicament Lopez found herself in after she ran into Mr. Right the same day that her doctor inseminated her. The complications that arose between the Lopez character and her new boyfriend over her test tube pregnancy provided the grist of the plot. Naturally, the boyfriend found himself in an identity crisis because her pregnancy reversed the typical chronology of a couple and he got cold feet. Predictably, Lopez and her boyfriend dealt with this complication in the usual fashion of the guy meets gal, guy loses gal, and guy wins back gal formula. In the long run, everything turned out perfectly for them.

Ostensibly based on Pulitzer-prize winning novelist Jeffrey Eugenides' 1996 short story "The Baster," "The Switch" tweaks "The Back-Up Plan" premise. Aniston and Bateman play long-time best friends when our heroine hears her biological alarm clock ringing and opts for artificial insemination since she hasn't found Mr. Right. She solicits help from best friend Bateman to find the most suitable sperm donor. Predictably jealous, the Bateman character takes matters into his own hands and complications galore occur. Unlike "The Back-Up Plan," "The Switch" qualifies as a far funnier romantic comedy with richer situations, more interesting characters, and splendid performances. Aniston and Bateman forge chemistry together as a friendly couple who don't realize they are right for each other. Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, and Juliette Lewis provide solid support. The best acting in "The Switch," however, comes from the most crucial character in Allen Loeb's screenplay. Newcomer Thomas Robinson delivers a surprising performance as Aniston's on-screen preschooler. Not only is Robinson an adorable child , but he is also an accomplished thespian whose only previous credit was an episode of the canceled NBC-TV sci-fi series "Heroes."

Aristotle wrote in "Poetics" that character is the essential ingredient that drives the best comedy and drama. Co-helmers Josh Gordon and Will Speck and "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" scenarist Allan Loeb follow this dictum, and "The Switch" emerges as not only hilarious but also endearing. The action unfolds in New York City seven years ago as a biologically-challenged single woman, Kassie Larson (Jennifer Aniston of "Marley and Me"), takes the fateful step of having herself artificially inseminates before she becomes too old for children. She finds the perfect donor in a good-looking university professor, Roland (Patrick Wilson of "Watchmen"), who teaches feminist literature. Initially, Kassie receives no support from Wall Street stockbroker Wally Mars (Jason Bateman of "Juno") who is a hopeless hypochondriac. Kassie accuses Wally of being pessimistic, but he claims he is just being realistic. Anyway, Kassie has her baby, christens him Sebastian, and moves away for six years. Wally's life remains unchanged until she returns. Since she has uprooted herself to raise her son in more friendly surroundings, Roland has divorced his adulterous wife. Kassie and he start dating. The complication is that six-year old Sebastian (Thomas Robinson) hates Roland. Ironically, Sebastian prefers the company of Wally, and the two become virtually inseparable.

One day while Wally and Sebastian are riding a bus, another passenger remarks that they look like father and son. Wally informs her that Sebastian isn't his son. Nevertheless, Sebastian treats Wally as if he were his dad. Several occasions occur when Sebastian needs help, and he resorts to Wally. At one point, Sebastian leaves a friend's birthday party after a brawl with a bully and goes out of his way to walk 20 blocks to Wally's apartment. Later, Kassie leaves Sebastian with one of his friends so she can spend a romantic weekend with Roland. As it turns out, Sebastian has contracted head lice and his friend's mom wants him gone. Stuck far away in Michigan, Kassie implores her old friend Wally to treat Sebastian's lice infection until she can return on an overnight flight. The bond between Wally and Sebastian deepens until Wally wonders if he really is Sebastian's father.

Wally searches his memory about the night of Kassie's sperm donor party and remembers that Kassie's perennial best girlfriend, Debbie (Juliette Lewis of "Whip It"), gave him some of her mom's prescription medicine and he got drunk and stumbled into the bathroom where Roland had left his container of sperm. Accidentally, Wally spills Roland's sperm into the sink and decides to replace it. Nothing but feminine magazines are available, and he whips up his own concoction to a picture of TV news anchor Diana Sawyer and replaces Roland's sperm with it. Such is Wally's state of mind that he forgets what he has done until he notices that Sebastian imitates his personality in every aspect. Wally discusses the issue with his close friend and Wall Street colleague Leonard (Jeff Goldblum of "Silverado") and decides to let Kassie in on his secret. Every opportunity that Wally has to deliver this major revelation falls through until our misguided hero attends a get-together at Kassie's apartment where Roland plans to propose marriage to Kassie in front of his older brothers and parents. Imagine the reaction that Kassie has when Wally turns her world upside down with his revelation.

"The Switch" is a consistently funny comedy that doesn't rely on a laugh track or a lowest-common denominator script to make us laugh. Everybody, including newcomer Thomas Robinson, doesn't act as if they were consciously trying to be funny and their fully developed but eccentric characters are a wonder to behold. Typically, a movie with two directors is a surefire recipe for disaster, but neither Gordon nor Speck get in each other's way, and "The Switch" flows smoothly throughout its 101 minutes without convolution.

FILM REVIEW OF ''DEATH AT A FUNERAL" (2010)

Everything that can possibly go wrong at a memorial service does go wrong in “Nurse Betty” director Neil LaBute’s witty but tasteless comedy “Death at a Funeral,” (**** OUT OF ****) starring Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Danny Glover, James Marsden, Tracy Morgan and Zoe Saldana. Ostensibly a faithful rehash of director Frank Oz’s British comedy with the same title, this predominately African-American remake—just three years after the original—qualifies as a side-splitting experience from fade-in to fade-out with our protagonists contending with one surprise after another to get their dearly departed dad and his mourners through the memorial. Incidentally, Peter Dinklage reprises his role from the original as “mysterious stranger.” British scenarist Dean Craig, who penned the original “Funeral,” banks on outrageous situations as well as Chris Rock’s commentary about these incidents to yield laughs galore. Essentially, Craig has relocated the action to Southern California. The primary characters consist of an oddball variety of believable, quirky, but sympathetic folks. Indeed, the cast acts virtually as an ensemble in some scenes. Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence complement each other without trying to outdo each other. James Marsden has a field day with his character-driven shenanigans, while Tracy Morgan draws some of the biggest laughs when he tangles with Danny Glover. The important thing here--as in most good comedies--is that the cast and the director don’t deliberately behave as if they were making a comedy. Nobody tries to be funny. The humor emerges in the collision between the characters and predicaments wholly beyond their control. Watching the reactions of both Rock and Lawrence constitutes half of the fun of “Death at a Funeral.”

Tax accountant Aaron Barnes (Chris Rock of “Good Hair”) is not a happy camper as “Death at a Funeral” unfolds. Imagine Aaron’s reaction when the funeral home delivers the wrong corpse to his house! When they open the casket for our protagonist, Aaron finds himself staring down at an Asian gentleman (Jamison Yang of “Surfer, Dude”) rather than his deceased father Edward (Bob Minor of "The Gingerbread Man"). Since Edward's death, Aaron’s overwrought mother, Cynthia (Loretta Divine of “Waiting to Exhale”), has been pestering both Aaron and his 37-year old wife Michelle (Regina Hall of “Scary Movie”) about giving her a grandchild to take her mind off her late husband. Moreover, Aaron finds himself struggling to compose a eulogy for his father. Tradition dictates that the oldest son must deliver it. Nevertheless, some people, such as Aaron's uncle Duncan (Ron Glass of TV’s “Barney Miller”), think Aaron’s younger brother, Ryan (Martin Lawrence of “Bad Boys”), should have drawn that assignment. As it turns out, Aaron is only nine months older than Ryan. You see, Aaron has written a book, but he has refused to let anybody read it. Meanwhile, Cynthia is so overjoyed when her celebrity son Ryan arrives that she knocks down Michelle in her haste to embrace her baby. Ryan is a bespectacled, mustached, smooth-talking womanizer. He is also a published writer so deep in debt that he doesn’t have a dime. When Aaron asks him to help out with the expensive funeral bill, Ryan refuses. Instead, Ryan sets out to seduce a sexy 18-year old girl, Martina (Regine Nehy of "Lakeview Terrace"), who sends his hormones into an uproar. The inevitable jokes about R. Kelly follow.

Meantime, Aaron's cousin Elaine (Zoe Saldana of “Avatar”) is attending the memorial service with her latest boyfriend Oscar ((James Marsden of “X-Men”), and Oscar is pretty nervous about running into Elaine’s father Duncan again. Oscar doesn’t think that Duncan approves of him. Elaine and Oscar cruise over to pick up her brother Jeffrey (Columbus Short of “Armored”), and Elaine sneaks a Valium. What Elaine doesn’t know is that Jeffrey has whipped up a hallucinogenic cocktail of mescaline and acid for his friends and stashed it in a bottle with a Valium prescription. Jeffrey doesn’t discover what Elaine has done until he notices Oscar’s bizarre behavior. At one point during the memorial service, Oscar is so confident that he has seen the coffin moving that he interrupts the preacher, Reverend Davis (Keith David of “Delta Farce”), in the middle of his sermon. A melee ensues as Aaron and company try to subdue Oscar. Predictably, the casket topples onto the floor and out rolls Edward’s inert corpse! If Oscar’s misguided shenanigans were not enough to contend with, a stranger named Frank (Peter Dinklage of “Elf”) corners Aaron with incriminating photos of Edward and he cuddling up to each other like the gay lovers that they were. Frank demands $30-thousand dollars or he will show the photos to Cynthia.

Elaine’s ex-boyfriend Derek (Luke Wilson of “Home Fries”) and long-time family friend Norman (Tracy Morgan of “Cop Out”) have to make a detour at a nursing home to collect cantankerous Uncle Russell (Danny Glover of “Lethal Weapon”) and bring him with them. The wheel chair bound Uncle Russell doesn’t give Norman a moment’s peace. Derek is hoping that he can patch things up with Elaine, and he does his best to change her mind about him. On the other hand, everything that Norman does for Uncle Russell draws criticism from the oldster. Things get really out of hand when Norman has to assist Uncle Russell to the toilet and Norman’s hand gets trapped under Uncle Russell. Mind you, this is only the set-up for even more hilarity that follows.

Between the wrongly delivered corpse and Uncle Russell’s antics, “Death at a Funeral” has enough high-jinks to keep you chuckling out loud. Dull moments are few and far between, and this superficial but funny Paramount Pictures gagfest never loses track with its objective: making us laugh. The refreshing thing about “Death at a Funeral” is how LaBute confines the most action to the family household without inducing a sense of claustrophobia. Anybody who enjoys Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, and Tracy Morgan will have a rollicking good time at this contagiously funny, but dark comedy about mortality and the secrets that death exposes about an individual.

FILM REVIEW OF ''THE TOOTH FAIRY'' (2010)

Brawny Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson looks hilarious decked out in a woman's pink tutu with a feathery pair of Tinker Bell fairy wings. The former WWE wrestler plays a grumpy, self-centered, minor-league hockey player who shatters the dreams of children as casually and decisively as he knocks the teeth out of his opponents on the ice. Never stop believing in your dreams qualifies as the theme of this incredibly vibrant, clever PG-rated comedy for kids. Indeed, the public has
bestowed on him the nickname 'the Tooth Fairy' because teeth fly when Derek Thompson slams into an adversary. Our hero goes too far when he informs a little girl in no uncertain terms that the Tooth Fairy is nothing but a figment of her imagination. Consequently, our protagonist wakes up the next day to find a summons from the Department of Dissemination of Disbelief under his pillow. This wonderfully frivolous
but wholesomely entertaining 106-minute, supernatural fluff never squanders a second, and the Rock is at his charismatic best. Although the producers have surrounded him with a worthwhile cast, "The Tooth Fairy" (**** out of ****) belongs to the Rock and his wattage burns up the screen. Picking up teeth from sleepy urchins proves more challenging than Derek had imagined.

Derek Thompson (Dwayne Johnson of "Race to Witch Mountain") blew his shoulder out playing pro hockey and wound up in the minor leagues skating with the Lansing, Michigan, Ice Wolves. Despite being in top physical condition, Derek is getting a little long in the tooth. Meaning, he has settled into a comfortable niche and is taking it too easy. He loves to crush the dreams of youngsters, largely because he
has sacrificed his own dream about serious hockey career. He has taken the easy way out and converted himself into a freak sideshow attraction. When his young fans ask him about their chances of becoming a sports sensation, he deflates their dreams and suggests they lower their expectations so they won't feel bad with the inevitable happens. While this makes Derek appear callous, the veteran hockey star reflects
his way of dealing with his own predicament. He hasn't scored a goal in nine years, and he hasn't tried because he has sold out to become a clown.

When he isn't knocking out teeth, Derek is dating Carly (Ashley Judd of
"High Crimes"). She has two kids, Tess (adorable newcomer Destiny
Whitlock), her pre-school daughter and Randy (Chase Ellison of
"Wristcutters: A Love Story"), her junior high son. One evening Carly
entrusts Tess to Derek's care. Derek and his teammates are playing
poker. Derek comes up short on cash and steals the money under Tess'
pillow, left there for her tooth by the Tony Fairy. Tess, who has
rhapsodized about the tooth fairy, awakens and cannot find her money.
Derek assures her that the tooth fairy doesn't exist. Carly pretends to
find the missing cash, gives it to a jubilant Tess and glowers at
Derek. The next thing Derek knows is he is in Tooth Fairy Kingdom in
front of the Tooth Fairy Godmother, Lily (Julie Andrews of "The Sound
of Music"), who sentences him to two weeks of retrieving teeth. In
other words, at some inopportune time when he is play hockey, Derek
receives a summons to fetch teeth. Sulking, Derek sets about paying the
penalty for eroding the dreams of youth and finds himself in several
adventures. Although he has wings, Derek doesn't fly because he has no
confidence in himself. Complicating matters are Carly and company. Carly
wants Derek to bond with Randy who suffers from a severe inferiority
complex. Initially, Derek handles this situation well. He buys Randy a
brand-new electric guitar and he jams with Randy on his drums in
preparation for a junior high talent contest. About that time, the Ice
Wolves pick up a hotshot new player, Mick Donnelly (Ryan Sheckler of
"Grind"), who won't being staying long because he likes to score goals
and scores them often. The Ice Wolves coach assigns Derek to watch out
for Mick.

Meantime, Derek has to learn the ropes about being a Tooth Fairy. Lilly
assigns a tall, willowy fairy without wings, Tracy (6-foot-7-inch
British comedian Stephen Merchant of "The Office" TV show), to serve as
his caseworker. Derek reports to Jerry (Billy Crystal of "Mr. Saturday
Night") an elderly, white-haired pixie who supplies him with a variety
of items essential in his line of work. He carries items that are
reminiscent of "Men-In-Black." Among these items are shrinking paste,
amnesia dust and invisibility spray. The shrinking paste enables him to
literally shrink himself down so he can escape, except when he
encounters a giant cat. When he enters a house or apartment, he can
sprinkle amnesia dust of the occupants and they will never remember his
visit, and finally he has an aerosol can of invisibility spray that he
can cover himself with so he cannot be seen. Predictably, Derek winds
up changing his ways and learning important lessons about life that he
has shied away from, like taking the shot to score.

"The Tooth Fairy" is as consistently hilarious as it is inspirational.
Dwayne Johnson and Stephen Merchant make a fantastic twosome with
Merchant forever beaming at the disgruntled sports star. "Connie and
Carla" director Michael Lembeck and a quintet of scenarists, among them
Babaloo Mandel and Lowell Ganz of "City Slickers," Joshua Sternin and
Jeffrey Ventimilia of "Surviving Christmas," and Randi Mayem Singer of
"Mrs. Doubtfire" have conjured up an exhilarating little comedy that is
bolstered by a top-notch supporting cast, including Ashley Judd, Julie
Andrews, Billy Crystal, and Stephen Merchant. The verbal humor is far
above average, too, with clever witticisms. This warm, fuzzy,
predictable, fish-out-of-water epic will appeal to adults, too, with
several genuinely side-splitting laughs.